Nicolas' room was wide open but the words I heard next made me stop.

"F**k me daddy"

"F**k me like a dirty little s**t" 

 I instantly turned to  the direction of the sound and just like I had predicted it was coming from his room.

I moved closer and looked in and the scene in front of me made me halth.

Nicolas was having sex with the new girl he had just met.

Somehow he was able to detect   that I was standing there, he turned and  looked at me  using  his expressions to tell me to shut the door.

I swallowed as I slowly grabbed the door handle  and shut it. 

my legs instantly gave out as I slid on the door, the tears threatening to come out.

  The way he looked at me, he didn't even mind if I saw him in that position, this wasn't the first time that I would see him with a woman but why did this one have to hurt  this much.

Today was my day  and yet all he could do was have sex with another woman instead of making the night all  about me.

Tessa, my mother's called  from the dinning.

Picking up the last piece of me  left, I walked back to the garden where the party was being held.

The moment my mom saw me I saw the way her    eyebrows raised as she  looked behind me for Nicolas 

Where is he? 

Nicolas is busy, he would join us in a few minutes.

My mother looked  at me,the worry laced all over her face as she tried to read my mood.

Is everything okay?

My eyes scanned over  to my  step father who  stood just behind my mother.

Nic will be here anytime soon, you don't need to be worried  he isn't doing anything illegal.

My words comforted my step dad and he tapped my mom's shoulders as he whispered something in her  ears.

They both turned to me,my mom gleaming with pride and my step  father looking even better.

How about we let the girl have her time, let her mingle with the guest and when your brother comes we would cut the cake.

I nodded as my mom and step father walked away.

My eyes scanned around our little garden that had been  decorated just for me.

My mom and stepdad  were having a send off party to   college  and since I turned 20 a few days ago they decided to just celebrate it  together.

But unlike every other girl that had a blast, I wasn't having a good time, I had no friends and most of the people here were friends of my stepfather and friends of Nicolas, my step brother.

 I have always had  a secret crush on my step brother Nicolas.

Our parents met after Nicolas' mom died.

Though Nic wasn't an only child, he had an elder brother Killian who is an Ex soldier.

Unlike Nicolas,Killian was more withdrawn and short tempered, the only time I saw him was the one year he lived with us and even then he never said a word  to me, and he made it clear to me that he hated my presence.

But just a year to our arrival he left and joined the army.

I knew  little about him as discussions about him were always in hush voices but one the week ago I heard my mom talking about him a few times but I could care less.

 "Happy birthday sissy"someone whispered behind me and   I knew  exactly who it was.

Nicolas  was now dressed in a well tailored suit, and looked handsome as ever, his blonde hair was well styled to the side perfecting  his face.

Nic moved even closer  as he kissed  my cheeks and pulled  away.

I watched him as he walked over  to his friend Landon who stood by the side with the girl he just had sex with.

My heart raced more, Nic could care less about how I felt, this wasn't the first time I had seen him with a lady, but it hurts everytime I see him.

 "How  about we cut  the cake since your favorite  brother is here," my mother teased.

Everyone  immediately pulled  over and I cut the cake as they clapped.

Nic clapped more but the  whole time,he had his  arms wrapped around the girl.

Once the cake has been cut, everyone  goes back to their activities.

Nic turns to me as he brings out the bracelet  from his pocket.

"This is for my little sissy" he says as he  tries to put the necklace around my neck but  instead  I feel his body go stiff.

From where I stood facing the  little pool just beside the garden, I could feel the tension suddenly build  up in the air.

It felt like something had penetrated into the air and everyone seemed to be hypnotized about it.

I turned  but as I did, I halted immediately as my eyes scanned over to the entrance that leads to the garden and I saw him.

The man dressed  in a smart casual with an Italian flair, his hair is properly styled and dark in color with just one strands pulling out from the corner.

I saw the tattoos  creeping  up from his hands all over to his neck, the dark shade he wore made it harder for me to see his looks but as I looked over at him, it seemed like he stopped for a moment and  stared at me.

The silence that followed with his presence was more defeating than anything I had ever felt before.

Each step he took made the tension in the air increase and as I looked over to my mom, I saw the shock   on their faces.

The man  didn't stop. I knew he was approaching us but as he got closer, I heard Nicolas whisper the  name.

Killlian.

The man walks over  to him and  in a second  he pulls Nicolas into a big hug.

As Nicolas hugged him I tried to ravel    my head around that name. I have heard that name before.

"Son, I didn't think you were going to come" my step dad Micheal stated  beside me as he tapped his back.

"Sorry, I'm late"he says gently as he takes off the shade from his eyes.

My heart froze   as I looked at the man standing in front of me.

He was no other than my older stepbrother Killian who hated me to death.But unlike the killian I knew he looked  different.

 I couldn't  help but stare at his ocean blue eyes.

He  cast  me a glance as he finally turns  to my direction as if he was finally acknowledging my presence.

I tried to say something but the words  were caught against my throat.

Killian paused and  looked at me for  a moment, A flicker of displeasure crossed over his face.I saw the way his expression tightened, the corners of his mouth dipping.

He looked at me again and for a moment I felt that wave of fear wash all over as I stared at the man towering above me.

Killian  signs   and  lets out a deep breath.

"Happy birthday Tessa" he says gently.

Two week later.

  ********

 My eyes scanned the school premises as the feeling of fulfillment washed all over me.

The thought that I was in my dream  school gave me so much joy than I could even imagine.

 My mom seems so proud of  me and my step dad can't stop going around telling people how proud  he was.

 Aren't you taking the next class?Someone asked behind me and when I turned I saw Isabel, the same girl  that lives  just opposite my doom room.

The braids she wore fitted  her as she looked at me and smiled.

I smiled back at her as I followed her into the classroom as we sat beside each other.

As we sat there I couldn't help but bring out my phone and glance through it if I would see any text from Nicolas.

After that night Nicolas had become distant from me, I didn't know if he read my emotions.

He only sent me a few text asking me how I was blending in with the school premises.

Somehow I didn't find the courage  to send him the text that I wanted and I had left his messages on read and nic  didn't bother texting back.

My mother told me he  returned the next day after I  left to school.

 Nicolas had a perfect job running my step fathers company and also most of his business but  amongst  that  he also had a few companies under his name and was doing so good for himself.

My mind raced back  to Killian and even the thought  of him alone made me scared.

The  displeased look on his face when he looked at me, the short birthday wishes and sudden disappearance scared me to death.

Something about him   sent chills down my spine, was it the fact he is  an ex soldier?  why he  is  an Ex soldier or  the fact that  he was seven years older than me.

When I heard the class suddenly began to settle my eyes scanned over to the man who had just walked in as our new professor. 

 "Good morning,I would be your professor for  this class" I heard someone say.

My eyes instantly moved  to the front of the classroom and when I saw the man standing there, my heart  stopped.

It was killian, my step brother he is my new professor.

I looked over  to the side and I saw most of my coursemates whispered  something amongst  themselves as most of the girls giggled.

My eyes returned to the podium and when I did  our eyes ran into  the other.

Killian wore a dark pants and a lilac top, the shirt  covered the tatoos but from the way he was built and his look he was the perfect definition of  an hot professor.

My own step brother is the professor of  the one class that I needed more than anything, how could this even be.

Class ended with Killian paying little or no attention to me and right now I was standing just beside my hall  as I rang my mom's phone for  the fifth  time.

"Tessa I'm sorry I know you must have found out about it now" my mother  whispers from the other end of the phone the moment she picks up 

I slowly slid my hands into the pants I wore as I moved away from the car pacing  around.

"Mom, you know Killian is my  professor and you didn't think of letting me know, is that what we are doing now" 

My mother signed, I could tell  the frustration  in her voice.

Tessa, your stepdad and I only found out about it about a week ago when he told us he got a job in one of the universities and turned out to be yours.

That was the reason he came home for your birthday so he could meet you and somehow  I think it's a better choice,being  in the same school would make us feel safe knowing you're alright.

"Wtf mom,I'm not a fucking baby,I'm 21  and I can take good care of myself  stop seeing me as a fucking child" 

Before my mother could even say another word, I ended the call as I held my head in frustration as the anger washed over me.

Why do my mother think she has to do this every  time.

In her defense,I'm still her baby.

 After venting out my frustration to no one in particular, I walked back to my dormitory alongside Isabel as she told me about her first night in the dorm.

I only nodded my head to her words, but my mind was stuck on one thing. Somehow  I felt betrayed by my mom.

She cliams to be my fucking best friend but  yet she could keep such a crucial information from me.

 As we got closer to my dorm I couldn't help but notice  the student  crowd outside the building of my dorm.

 Isabella threw me a glance as she rushed over to one of the girl standing outside.

I could feel the sudden fear on my chest as I through  of what might have happened but when I moved closer, I noticed the smoke coming out from the buildings.

Tessa, I heard someone scream my name behind me and when It  turned out to be my dorm mate the girl that  hasn't spoken to me since our first night being in the same room.

I have been looking all over for you.

Me, what's going on? 

We have been given an urgent evacuation. There was  a fire outbreak in the dorm. Someone started a fire by mistake and now we are being evacuated with the fire  fighters on their way.

I grabbed  a few of your things when it got to our room.

Just as she finished talking, I  heard the siren blasting from behind us as  the firefighters approached.

As I looked over to the burning building, I could suddenly feel my  eyes twitch as I held the tears that were threatening to come out as that feeling of helplessness washed all over me.

Why was everything  going wrong in my life?

~~~~~~Tessa~~~~~

"No way mom, no fucking way. I'm not  living with killlian" I yelled over to her on the phone.

Tessa, It's just for  a semester  until we  are  able to secure a good apartment for you but right now you have to bear with us.

Mom, I can't do this, I don't want  to.

My mother lets out a sigh, "Killian would come pick you up" she says and ends the call.

I stared at the phone for a while as I held myself from exploding from all the emotions I'm feeling right now.

My hands moves  to the  caller  bar as I tried to tap Nicolas number but on a second thought I stopped.

Nick lived miles away from my school and I know he wouldn't mind if I ask him to but why do I have to worry him about my problems.

I watched as  each student grabbed their things and walked out, some  leaving with  their parents and others leaving with their friends.

Isabell had texted telling me that she was going to live with a friend who stays off campus.

The bag with me was the only thing that didn't get consumed by fire  and even as I sat there watching everyone leave, I couldn't help but feel the fear building up inside of me as I thought about the things that could go wrong.

The thought of living with Killian felt like torture itself.

This was the same person that never acknowledged my presence and  the only thing he had ever said  to me was happy birthday Tessa.

As the day grew darker  I watched every car  arrive and leave while I stayed behind.

Why wasn't he here yet?

 My eyes scanned the environment  and I wondered what was taking him  that long to arrive.

My back arched from sitting in that position for  a long time but just as I was about to  stand up  my phone vibrated from my pockets and I saw that I  had just received a text from an unknown number.

"Come out"the message read.

My heart instantly starts racing on its own as I tried to calm myself down from exploding from fear.

As I looked across  to my right, I couldn't help but notice the black car that was parked  there and when I looked over, I noticed the dark strands of hair from the side view.

The person sitting at the front sit didn't turn to me but I didn't need anyone to tell me that was him.

For a moment I froze, terror, fear and pain hitting me  but I knew I had no choice, Killian was my best option.

 With each step I took towards the car I couldn't help the fear that built up in me.

He didn't even bother to look at me but the moment I got closer he slowly winds  down the glass and  threw a glance at me.

 Ignoring his hot stare, I opened the door   and stepped into the backseat.

The moment I got in, I heard Killian say something under his  breath as he moved on his chair uncomfortably.

The ride to his house was even  worse than I expected, from where I sat at the back seat of his car I couldn't help  but stare at him from his rare view mirror.

Killian caught me a few times but instead he looked away totally ignoring my presence.

After an hour-long drive we arrived at his house and the view in front of me was even better than anything I had ever imagined in my head.

The security opened  the gate as  he drove in.

The moment the car stops, I stepped out. The hard breeze hit my skin as I fresh smell of strawberries hit me.

The mansion looked magnificent even better than  that of my step dad, there was a waterfall in the middle of building and I couldn't help but notice the swimming pool at the far end of the house that had somewhere that looked like a beach.

The lights did absolute justice to the building  as I  marveled  at the beauty of this beautiful crafted house  in front of me.

Tessa, I heard my name  as I turned over I noticed Killian standing by the car as he stared  at me.

His face looks cold and unreadable.

Sorry, I whispered under my breath as Killian walked off while I trailed  behind him.

The inside interior of the house was even better than I had imagined to be and now I couldn't help but wonder why  he took the job as a professor.

 As Killian walked ahead of me I forced myself from  saying another word to him.

Killian and I took the stairs and he stopped.

He  pushed the door open and turned to face me.

This was the first time I would see him this close.

"You will stay here" he says as  I turn to look at him.

I tried to say something but instead the words  got  caught up  in my throat.

 Thank you, I whispered as I moved closer to  enter the room but as I walked by our hands touched and in that instant I felt the spark that flew between us.

I turned as I looked at him.

Killian shot me a stare  and for the first time I saw his face loosened up for a moment.

"Relax,I don't bite" he says as he moves into the room and closes the door behind me.

My legs moved back  as my back touched the wall.

He steps closer to me just enough to close the space between us.I saw the way his eyes glimmered  when he saw  the fear in my eyes.

 My breath stops and I feel my blood run cold as I feel his breath even closer to me than ever.

My eyes instantly shut on his own as his  smell of strawberries  and cinnamon filled my nostrils as I thought of what  he plans to do with me.

Tessa,  I heard him call my name again and  I opened my eyes  only to see him staring at me. I saw the way his eyes flickered.

Killian had been looking at me the whole life and I closed my eyes.

I swallowed nothing  as the embarrassment washed all over me.

It was as if something was wrong with me. Why am I reacting this way to my step brother? 

He   drags the key from above my head as he drops it on the shelf on the table of my room.

"Goodnight sissy" he says the words curling out from his mouth like a taunt.

I stood still in that position unable to breath, he turned away as if nothing had happened but his smell still filled my nostrils.

Right now I hated myself for how I reacted.

What is wrong with me ?