I didn’t realize it back then, but now that I remembered I was around on my first month of pregnancy when Ruby returned to Silverfang Pack - Central.

It was also the start of Dawson’s sudden disappearances streak.

There wasn’t a single thought of suspicion in me when Dawson and I were picking up Ruby from Silverfang International Airport. I was quite naive to believe that Dawson was simply picking up a good omega friend of him after her very unfortunate divorce with her husband.

During the ride to the airport, Dawson had told me that the great pandemic had affected Ruby’s husband business and couldn’t survive bankruptcy. It then led them to a divorce.

As a beta, I wasn’t really aware of the detailed dynamics between an alpha and an omega. What I did know, from learning the school textbooks years back, was the mention that an omega could be in a very vulnerable situation if she wasn’t under a scent protection of a more influential alpha.

Since Dawson’s business had led him to met influential people in the council of Silverfang, he, as an alpha, could legally provide a powerful scent protection to omega in need.

That day, what surprised me was more on the fact that Ruby had returned with a son in her arm. That son somehow looked like Dawson, but I didn’t give much thought about it back then.

“That’d be seventeen dollars, ma’am,” the cab driver announced upon arriving at destination.

I took out my phone and scanned the payment code before getting out of the cab.

Soon as I closed down the front door, I opened software out of whim. There, I saw RedMaxine’s, Ruby’s account, post: [Got my knight in shining armor! It was a simple cold but he dragged me all the way to the hospital! This guy is so sweet, people will misunderstood!]

Since I was a mutual with her on several social media, I saw her account uploading a photo with the same exact captions. In the photo, there captured a shoulder part with navy blue jersey with light gray circle around its short sleeve’s end. And that shirt was the one Dawson wore earlier. It was the gift I gave him on his 24th birthday.

I closed my social media app and proceed going upstairs to our room.

I didn’t even want to confront Dawson. Why he lied today, and the many days before today. I couldn’t even get angry and instead began blaming myself.

I should’ve left him. Why should he stay when he clearly insisted on being with someone else? I shouldn’t have resisted nature, Dawson was an alpha, of course he’d be more attracted to omegas.

It was clear that Dawson merely saw me as a substitute for Ruby after she left him years ago. He never really told me about Ruby until the few days she finally arrived at the international airport.

Yet, I was deeply in love with him. I had chosen to marry him and had hoped that maybe, our relationship was one of the rare chances where alpha-ness or beta-ness wouldn’t really matter.

That the two of us could have a happy marriage.

That I, would be happy with him.

For Goddess’s sake, I even wanted to give birth to his child!

However, my loss of our first child was most likely a sign that I had to wake up. Perhaps, even with a presence of a born baby between us, Dawson wouldn’t even bother to change.

My mind was busy as it kept on recalling things, of which order I couldn’t even recall.

The last thing I remember before slipping into sleep, was the day I met Dawson, Ruby, and her son Darby outside a cafe on a fine weekend.

They really looked like those pictures of a happy new family that people often posted on social media.

I remembered something had actually snapped within me that day and said out loud to Dawson, “You should’ve seen him often.” By that, I was referring to Darby. “Growing up, he might need a father figure.”

Both Dawson and Ruby were surprised back then. What I didn’t anticipate, however, was the fact Dawson took a step forward and slapped me across my face.

“How could you say that, Saddie?” his face was flushed. “You had no idea how Darby even feel for not being able to see his father,” he said in a low tone. He didn’t shout.

Soon after, Dawson took Ruby and Darby away from the cafe.

There was a creak and a sinking of the bed behind my back. It prompted me to open my eyes.

"Did the doctor say anything about your condition?" Dawson was behind me.

The proximity brought me a waft of a scent, that wasn’t quite like him, and a faint perfume of freshness that was recently popular among females. Being a beta might limit me from having keener senses of smell unlike alphas or omegas. But I could connect the dots, I could guess whose scent that was.

I shrugged and lightly pushed his hand away.

"Doctor Pearson said I’m okay," I said, masking a neutral tone in my sleepy voice.

Perhaps surprised at my rejection, Dawson offered a hurried explanation, "A new project came out this evening and I need to personally take care of it."

Yeah, a project to escort Ruby to the hospital.

I kept that to myself, "Yeah…” I said. “Don’t forget to shower."

I stopped paying attention once I heard the sound of water drops hitting the tile.

The next day, I was in a work meeting.

My phone vibrates a few times inside my uniform’s pocket.

“Seems urgent.” Pamela, my coworker whispered to me.

We were in the meeting of morning briefing. Pamela and I was standing a bit farther from the center crowd.

“It can wait. Look--” I gestured towards the whiteboard with a quick nod. “--we're already on the Teletummies' Laughing Sun slide.” Beneath the laughing sun, the bolded text read [Questions?].

True enough, Alex, our supervisor, dismissed us from the meeting.

Today I had been assigned on a pre-dawn shift. I woke up around three, doing my usual preparation rituals and directly call a cab to the hospital.

When I got to a quieter hospital hall, I checked on my phone to find 20 missed calls from Dawson.

He beat me up to it before I could press the call button though.

The contact ID [Hubby<3] shown up at the front of my TalkApp. I slightly scrunched up my face. Did I really put Dawson’s contact with that name?

“Hello?”

"Saddie, why didn't you wake me up? I overslept! There’s an important meeting with the client today and I need to prepare early, you know?” Dawson’s voice was dripped with palpable annoyance. "You just up and left and didn’t tell me you had a morning shift?" he continued to process.

But in fact, I had told Dawson about my schedule. I sent him a file of my schedule earlier this week.

“Well? You didn’t tell me you had to wake up early.” I replied, casually. No tone of sarcasm there. I wasn’t even in the mood to argue this early.

I could understand his frustration though. I used to take care of Dawson’s every need. Over-serving him, even—especially after we finally got married. I would prepare his clothes, his breakfast, checking on his schedules so that I could remind him when we finally had that breakfast together, and so on.

I was secretly thanking the Moon Goddess for never vowing to do those routines for the rest of our marriage life. At least, it gave my mind the freedom to just stop doing those stuff when I no longer feel like it.

I was not his babysitter. I had the right to refuse.

"Dawson, I think it’s better for you to get up since you’re going to be late."

Dawson harrumphed from the other end. "You didn’t prepare my shirt! What am I going to wear today?"

"Whichever you want to wear. You can take one from the closet," I replied.

"What do you mean take one from the closet?!" Dawson raised his tone.

I instinctively put my phone away from my ears. I frowned because my right ear was ringing.

“Saddie! Norton’s mom brought us some donuts, which one do you want?” Pamella called around the end of the hall.

“Wait!” I replied Pamella. Then I hurriedly said to the phone again, "Something came up. My colleague asked for my help. Just pick one clothes from the closet. I need to go, Dawson."

I approached Pamella and went to the staffroom before continuing my shift.

However, my phone kept on vibrating.

Dawson sent me a picture with texts: [It’s wrinkled! Are you serious, Saddie? I can't wear this to meet up my client.]

Then another texts: [There’s no food. You didn’t cook up breakfast?]

Then another: [Did you see the blue folder I usually put on my study desk?]

[Saddie, answer me!]

I kind of regretted opening my TalkApp.

“Saddie, got a moment?”

I looked up from my desk and turned just at the office’s entrance. I saw Alex, my head department, poking out his head. He approached me once I nodded.

"You need to listen to me and take this opportunity, Saddie. It’s not going to be there forever," Alex said with patience, but the excitement in his eyes and his ear-to-ear smile betrayed that calm facade.

I let out a small laugh. “What is it, Alex?”

He cleared his throat, "Well, after assessing your performance, it looks like the hospital wants to discuss your further training. I decided to tell you this because you seem to have fully recovered now, too!"

True, Alex had given me the same news around the end of last year. At that time, I declined the offer since I planned on having children with Dawson. I would have a busy schedule if I went through with the training and be granted a likely promotion.

I didn’t want to skip too much time for my child and my husband back then.

But now that things had gone through this way….

I didn’t plan to stay longer with Dawson and get myself wasted in more pain.

"I'll take the training offer, sir," I replied with a determined smile. “Thank you for giving me a second chance."

"Bravo!" Alex clapped his hands. It was his sign of ‘yes!’ He then asked me to make preparations from now and be ready whenever the training date was set.

Seeing his enthusiasm, I couldn’t help but smile.

I would definitely make up the most of this opportunity. This would be my start over to live independently from Dawson.

Morning turned into noon, then to dusk. My shift ended in a flash. I couldn’t believe how fast the time passed when noticing the sky outside had turned dark.

Just then, my phone vibrated. Dawson was calling.

"Where are you, Saddie? There’s no dinner at home."

At that I let out an involuntary sigh that I had long kept inside. The moment I heard his complaints, the thought of going home becomes something… revolting to me.

“Saddie?” His tone surprisingly got softer.

I pinched the bridge on my nose. “Dawson…” I make a brief pause. “Today was a hectic day. And Nate just asked me to have a shift switch with me, because she had something urgent coming up—”

Well, the last one, I didn’t lie.

“—Maybe order some food online. I’m going to continue working after this.”

"Huh?" Dawson sounded surprised.

"That’s not a problem, right?" I asked rhetorically, I just wanted to get over with the call.

"No…. No, it’s not a problem. I just…” Dawson hesitated before continuing, “Careful when going home, alright? You’re taking two shifts without break."

I nodded. "I will. Thanks"

Dawson was silent for a while.

I was about to end the call but he suddenly spoke,

"Saddie, are you mad at me?"

I immediately closed the call. I could pretend that I never even heard that if Dawson brought up the talk.

Oh, Moon Goddess, save this child of yours…

With him running a business, there was NO way Dawson would be oblivious to this!

Why did he even ask? Was he simply trying to make sure and calm me down later?

Then, I shook my head.

I need to stop this.

I promised myself that I wouldn’t get mad at him anymore since we’d end our relationship.

“Saddie, Ruby needs all the help she got. Raising a child alone is not an easy thing to do. She had no one else in Silverfang. I’m the only alpha acquaintance she had left who’d be willing to give her protection.” Dawson said in somber tone.

“I know it’s hard for betas to understand. They don’t have this kind of thing between alphas and omegas. But, don’t you see? I’m doing this because I have to.”

He then concluded with emphasis, “This kind of things are expected from any influential alphas!”

I took a deeper breath, careful not to make it obvious. My nerves got ticked as I felt like he treated me like a very dumb person, never knowing how the world works. It felt like Dawson had unfairly defended Ruby once more from confrontation I didn’t even initiate.

Besides…

Did he forgot I was still his wife or what? In Silverfang, he was the only one I got too!

"Of course it’s hard to raise a child alone,” I tried to calmly answer. “It’s hard for anyone, Ruby included!”

"What? Are you trying to say that Ruby just have to suck it all up because everyone raising a child alone is having it hard too?” Dawson suddenly raised his tone.

"That’s not what I’m saying, at all!" I interjected, trying to defend myself.

"I don’t like your tone, Saddie. Do you have to say it like that?" he said with a warning tone, the kind of tone he used to demand obedience..

"Huh? Then how should I say it then?" I lost control, frustration had get the better of me. “I’m trying to show my sympathy to her, Dawson. Is that a problem?"

Silence fell between us. But it was Dawson who broke the ice in the end, "Fine, do whatever you want."

What on the actual earth…?

He was mad at me for asking where he wanted to go with Ruby. So I compensated by asking when he'd be back from Ruby's place instead.

And this man got mad at me, again?

“Ugh!” I tossed my phone as carefully as I could into my purse.

Really, just hearing his voice now made me frustrated. How did I deal with him all these time?

With a sigh, I stood up from my desk. I looked at the document piles that had been sitting there,waiting for me to finish the 'simple talk' with Dawson. I took my water bottle and walked to the drinking station at the room’s corner.

The night was still long. I better prepare for my training instead of getting irritated at Dawson like there was no tomorrow.

--

I got home much later into the day. The hot sun was already up and there was no sign of Dawson’s car at home, he was already gone for work.

My last shift ended around five in the morning. Frankly, there wasn’t much to do so I helped my friends who had came for the next shift clean up some stuff. Oakley even teased me that he’d gladly gave his shift to me so that he could stay longer for his son’s play performance in his school.

It was a short exchange with my colleagues, but I was glad none of them make things as awkward as I have feared it would be.

Because, really… going home knowing that Dawson was there only to nag didn’t feel appealing to me..

I didn’t do much at home afterwards. I took a shower, drank my prescribed medicine and collapsed onto my bed. And right then, as if on cue, my phone vibrated to no end. I picked it up and see that it was a call from Dawson.

"Saddie," he grunted as if in pain. “Why didn’t you pick up? My stomach hurts so bad…."

"Call the emergency ward...." I slurred as my mind was fogged with sleep. On one hand, I remember that I had got off from work. But I was really tired that I drifted into sleep.

"Saddie..."

"Saddie..."

It felt like an eerie dream. Dawson had been calling my name from a place so very distant. But I was so tired I wished him to go away as I fell deeper into my sleep.

Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!

Bam!

I jolted awake at the loud noise. Dawson had already stood by the bed looking displeased and pouting.

"Saddie, why are you acting like this lately?!" He raised his tone. "You'd usually nag on me when I got sick. Bringing medicine and porridge for me. But now you're just asleep?" his voice cracked slightly. "Don't you care anymore? What is wrong with you?"

What was wrong with me he said?

His words cut deep. I remembered those days all too well. There was a time when Dawson had a terrible stomachache. Concerned, I took leave from work to bring him medicine at his office. As fate would have it, I got caught in the rain on my way, arriving soaked and disheveled. Instead of appreciation, I was met with laughter from his colleagues, and Dawson did nothing to stop them.

Worse yet, he turned to me and said, "Don't come to my office again. You're an embarrassment."

Snapping back to the present, I rubbed my eyes as I tried to had control over my irritation for the lack of sleep. "Well, you're here. So, are you feeling better now?" I looked at him squarely. "I'm not sure we had any medicine left though, last time I checked was two weeks ago..."

Dawson's jaw tightened, his frustration boiling over. "Saddie, are you going to keep acting like this because you're jealous of Ruby?"

"Huh?"

Dawson shouted all of the sudden, "I've told you, a thousand times, Ruby and I were just old time friends! There's nothing between us!"

"Uh, sure?" I replied hesitantly. I didn't even understand how did he concluded my actions as a form of jealousy. I was lacking of sleep for Great Moon Goddess' sake!

"You need to stop this at once, Saddie!" Dawson growled and grabbed my wrist up, I could see the change of colors and pupils in his eyes. I could faintly feel the intensity of his pheromone changes too, but I think... the pheromone didn't work as he wanted it to be.

I simply stared at him, trying to pull my hand. "Dawson, it hurts. Let me go."

"Ridiculous!" He shouted, letting me go. "This is why dealing with betas is a waste of time!"

I didn't say a thing to him. I knew that Dawson was baiting me, but I wouldn't fall for it.

"Rebellious betas, don't you feel ashamed for acting like strays?"

Strays?

Did he just call me ‘strays’?!

My mouth went agape. Calling someone 'strays' was a serious insult, as it labeled werewolves as disloyal traitors who had caused significant harm to the entire community!

Really?

If someone like me is considered "disloyal," then what would you call someone as unfaithful as Dawson? An outcast?

Yet, I held myself back. I closed my mouth shut, unwilling to entertain Dawson’s unreasonable accusations.

Soon, Dawson turned to leave. He slammed the door and stormed out. I heard a car engine sound downstairs before things got silent in this house.

"Damn that entitled alpha! Gosh, Saddie! Why did you pick someone like that? Ugh!" I let myself fell onto the bed and curled up to my side.

Eventually my frowns and my pout loosened. I could feel myself slowly smiling.

For the first time in this house, I feel liberated knowing that Dawson leave the house.