The sound of lashing and my continued sobbing filled the quiet room.

The silver whip is slashing my back as I lie on the icy ground.

Nonetheless, I had no choice but to put up with all of this.

'More wounds to heal, more tears to shed, and more pain to bear.'

I laughed.

I did my best not to react to the whip I was constantly given.

Besides, I'm used to being in this situation.

But then the last hit, which grazed the side of my left breast, made me groan so loudly.

"Fuck it, just stop!"

I yelled as I noticed blood dripping from my skin.

"And who taught you to argue with me and raise your voice!?

You wolfless creature have no right to do such things!"

As he lands another set of blows on my skin, the person who was beating me says.

Even if I don't have a wolf, I'm still a werewolf, and I'm used to their cruelty and the pain they cause my body.

But there are times when I wish things could be different for me.

"Sorry, but it's just too painful...

Please leave me alone with my body.

I've had enough, and all I want is a normal life."

My emotions began to overflow.

I can't help but express what's on my mind.

"Oh, you poor thing!

Dumbass!

Do you think I'll feel sorry for you because of your acting?

No way, no how!

A strange creature does not deserve a normal life!"

He yelled, so close to my face that his saliva landed on my ripped skin.

Then there was another beating.

I cried because of the physical and emotional pain he caused.

I can't believe I'm going through this in his hands, in their hands, actually.

"I know I'm getting up later than usual, but that's because you gave me too much work yesterday.

After all, I am still a member of this family.

You don't have to—"

He never let me finish what I was saying.

He immediately grabbed my neck, making it difficult for me to breathe.

"Stop the nonsense!

I'm not interested in hearing from you!"

Then he smacked me down on the filthy floor.

"And no, you are not a member of our family!"

Those words pierced me to the core.

I chose to remain silent.

I'm pretty sure this conversation will go nowhere.

"You lazy ass, learn to get up earlier next time!

Is that understood?

Or do you want me to keep doing this to you?"

The person wielding the whip yelled at me, loud and deafening.

I continued to be silent.

He's nasty and completely cruel.

I had no idea he was capable of such venomous hatred.

He grunted and walked away, followed by another man who stood by and watched.

I came to a complete stop, expecting him to assist me, but he did not.

Who would even think of assisting someone like me?

My brother, relatives, or other pack members would frequently come over to physically harm me out of rage.

Yes, they hurt me by venting their rage over things I didn't even know about.

I cried and cried until I was used to their antics.

And this is something that happens every morning of my life.

I remained silent.

I never grumble.

But now that he's reached rock bottom, I'm speaking up.

Too much pain, too much torture, simply too much—and I am exhausted; my body, mind, and heart.

Every day, I am accustomed to waiting for them to beat me because I know it is their way of expressing their unending rage and anger.

I know my life is miserable.

When I realized that crying would not help the situation, I decided to stop crying and making noises.

Why am I being tortured in this manner?

I was unable to shift when I was thirteen, and my so-called family disowned me as a result.

The pack then mimicked their movements.

In the werewolf civilization, young pups must shift at the age of thirteen.

It's a werewolf trait, and unfortunately, I was the first to live without a wolf.

Since then, all I've gotten is pain, curses, and degrading words that have continued to hurt me to my bones.

My own father regards me as repulsive.

My mother wished she had never had me.

My brother is not pleased that I am his sister.

I'm an unwanted member of our pack.

In the eyes of others, I am nothing more than an insane, crazy, and strange being.

Every day, I was subjected to a barrage of slurs, to which I had grown accustomed.

That evening, my family insulted me for the first time, and they have never stopped reminding me of who I was since.

Their voices never leave any part of my mind...

Nothing hurt me more than how they said those words.

I didn't try to ignore the blood on the ground this time.

I let it flow as I stare at it intently.

I sighed nervously and stood up to take a look around my room, which is almost like a prison.

It was dark, dusk, filthy, and lonely.

Each stride left a trail of blood on the ground, which also dripped from my back.

Eris, my brother, hurt me even more at that point.

Nonetheless, I did not whimper in pain.

Before I stopped feeling anything, I was abused and tortured for five years.

I always choose to bear the pain they inflict on me and do my best to ignore and not feel it.

Every time I felt the pain of a seeker, especially from them, I would do this automatically; I would do my best to ignore and not feel.

I tried cutting my fingers with shattered glass to feel anything, but there was never any pain or sensation.

I was and still am a dead being to this pack.

Most abused werewolves, I'm sure, will flee or commit suicide, but I never have and never will.

My friend was the only thing that kept me alive in this place.

Him.

This is my second half.

I'm bracing myself for his rejection.

I'm expecting him to reject me.

Every werewolf who is blessed with a mate is fortunate, but I am not because Samson is my mate.

He has no idea that I was meant to be his.

I knew he was my mate when I was 16 years old.

Despite the fact that it perplexed me because I didn't have a wolf.

Furthermore, werewolves find their mate at the age of 18, but I had found mine two years earlier.

How did I discover this?

I was completely smitten by him.

He triggered an intense attraction in me that I couldn't explain.

My heart would occasionally race when I saw him because of his antics.

Other times, I'd feel a strong dislike for him that I couldn't put my finger on.

He also had this distinct scent.

His odor would alert me when he was nearby.

But what makes me so certain that he will reject me as his mate?

He adores Cindy, my perfect and ideal sister.

They've been dating for quite some time.

Samson's parents thought these two were a perfect match, and Cindy was the ideal future luna.

Isn't it wonderful?

I'm confident that under duress, he'll label her as his luna sooner or later.

They are expected to succeed the Nightcrawler Pack's current Alpha and Luna.

I could see dead brown eyes staring back at me through the mirror.

It was my father, and he appeared to be passing judgment on my thin, pale, damaged, and battered skin.

This part of me that was once so vibrant, smooth, and delicate.

I was distracted and didn't hear Cindy calling out to me "Nikky, you're a jerk!

What the hell happened to you?!

How come you didn't even iron my shirt?!"

"Coming!" I exclaimed, ignoring the pain I was in.

Hello, my name is Nikky, and welcome to my strangely unhappy life.

I quickly cleaned myself in the river next to the woods, making sure no other members of the pack could see me. Following that, I made my way to the pack house, dodging disgusted, mocking, and hostile looks.

Some mothers even advised their puppies to avoid me. Examples include:

"She wasn't normal; she didn't have a wolf!"

"She's a threat! Avoid her at all costs, my child."

"She's such an oddball. Annie, stay away from her!"

And a slew of insults from my own pack.

But why is that? Did I injure them? No. Did they injure me? Indeed. Emotional distress. But now I've decided to ignore each of their judging stares.

Instead of ignoring the looks, the hurt, the hatred, and everything else, my younger self would have crept up to a corner and sobbed. Thank goodness I made the right decision and eventually learned how to deal with them.

I overheard a familiar group of females chatting as I went through the pack house's back entrance to begin my morning tasks.

"Oh god," "I can't wait for Samson to make me his luna!" said a familiar voice. Cindy, my older sister, called. She's back, telling her friends how the future alpha found his partner—her—and how they'd attend the evening's mating ceremony together. Sure, she enjoys boasting.

"Cindy, you are one lucky girl. You deserved it, with your intelligence and beauty. In contrast to you..." One of her friends said, obviously wanting me to hear what she was saying. Her brows furrowed as she looked at me.

"Oh, please! Don't ever compare me to that lady. A diamond should not be compared to charcoal." They all laugh after Cindy says that.

The Alpha bloodline and the Alpha himself would find their mate at the age of eighteen.

When her other friends noticed me, the conversation came to a halt. Disgust, scorn, and disdain immediately followed laughter, joy, and delight. When they saw me, every facial emotion on their faces changed from joy to sadness.

"The charcoal is gone," one of them says.

"What a scumbag." Another person stated.

"Totally! A walking pile of garbage!" Cindy elaborated. "Don't forget my laundry, you worthless freak!" she yelled as she walked past me. Everyone in her group, especially Diamond, who was once my best friend, looked at us with disgust, as if we were strangers who hadn't shared secrets before.

"Cindy, I'm on my way to do that. You don't need to insult me because I'm already aware of my flaws and imperfections "I muttered something. But, of course, my sister overheard it and never let it go.

"I can say whatever I want to you, and you have to accept it because it was nothing but facts!" she said, roughly pulling my hair. She then abruptly let go of me.

I'd have to finish all of my chores before the evening ceremony, which included laundry, washing, cleaning, scrubbing, and dusting. So I walked away, carrying Cindy's laundry basket as if nothing had happened.

Time had passed, and I had continued to work...

"That idiot will undoubtedly infect the foods with her germs and dirt! Mom, I don't want that to happen!" Cindy was complaining to our beloved mother, and I overheard her. Maybe future lunas are really that picky about the food they eat.

"I know. She's repulsive and does not deserve to be here "Mom responded. I kept working while ignoring their scathing remark and stares.

I laughed in my head. How in the world do they manage to physically and mentally abuse someone? How could this be, when I, too, was a member of this pack?

**

The celebration began about an hour ago. This came with the recognition of the Nightcrawler Pack's new alpha and luna.

'I am aware of your feelings...'

'He had already rejected you, right?'

'Huh? Who was he? Strange voice in my head.' I thought, but then shrugged. Regardless, the voice was correct. I was rejected even before this celebration began...

It happened while I was on my way out of one of the pack house rooms. I was only supposed to clean another room at the time. Samson noticed me as he walked through the alpha's office. His expression showed a wide range of emotions. After learning that I was his mate, he was filled with resentment, contempt, and disgust.

"This is not acceptable, Nikky! I don't want you as a friend!" His voice was shrill, filled with rage and horror.

"I get it... If you must, reject me." I vowed in my head.

"Cindy is my partner and future luna, not you! Nikky, I refuse to accept you as my destined mate." He spoke without hesitation or warning.

"Alpha, you are correct. I will accept your rejection." I fought the urge to scream inside at his hurtful words.

He then walked right past me.

I did the same thing. I walked away, pretending nothing had happened. I moved aside to allow him to pass and curtsied.

This was something I expected to happen. I was already bracing myself for his rejection from the first word he said.

Furthermore, because he has alpha blood coursing through his veins, he has the right to choose another mate immediately after rejecting me. Second mates are the chosen mates. The Moon Goddess bestowed that blessing on the alpha bloodline. That could happen only if I were dead.

I was the first werewolf to be rejected, as well as the first werewolf without a wolf.

I entered the storage facility and knelt to retrieve my sleeping bag and clothes. My only set of bed clothes. Well, I have very few clothes because my family previously set fire to my belongings. My clothes are all worn out, and I only have two pairs of jeans and shirts, a few pairs of underwear, a robe, and sleeping clothes. Worst of all, in order for me to continue using these, I must sew them repeatedly to repair the damage.

To avoid aggravating my back injury, I changed into my sleeping clothes and slept on the sleeping bag. I'll be washing my clothes by the nearby river tomorrow.

**

The pack members' joy and excitement about their new Alpha and Luna could be heard. I'm sure if I were the Luna, they wouldn't treat me the same way. They might even suggest Cindy as the Luna.

Because Samson and I are true mates who were not chosen, our bond will deteriorate slightly but not completely. Cindy and his true mate will suffer the same fate. Because my sister didn't recognize their relationship, he would need to bond with someone else.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't envy Cindy for getting what she wants. She is loved and respected by her family. Pack members, and my mate's devotion is now directed toward her rather than toward me.

I don't have anything, and she has everything I've ever desired.

But I had to face the realities of life. And I have no choice but to go with the flow and deal with everything. Besides, even if I cry blood, nothing will change.

As my hair swung over my eyes, I turned to the small window to my side. I was lying on my sleeping bag, staring at the full moon. The moon had never failed to bring me comfort. When I look at it, all of my melancholy thoughts fade away. Later on, the aroma of the woods greeted my nose.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the beautiful night.

When I opened my eyes to look at the moon again, something moved in the corner of my eye. I stood up to get a better look and figure out what it was, but the object moved quickly and entered an area where the ground was illuminated by the moon.

The moonlight stopped moving toward my window in pursuit of it when it turned to look directly down at me. I realized this wasn't even a thing.

I kept staring at it, thinking how familiar it was—a very familiar creature in werewolf territory.

'Is that even conceivable?' As I observed the size of the creature in front of my window, I reflected.

'It is! Why shouldn't it be?' The abrupt, deep voice in my head startled me. In response to what I did, my head laughed.

I came to a halt because there was only me and this large creature present. I looked up at it again, puzzled as to how a wolf larger than an alpha could exist. I'd never felt so inadequate in my life.

'When I'm around, you don't tremble or feel the desire to give in.' In my mind, I kept hearing the same voice. 'You are the one, and I know it!'

I kept my mouth shut and just stared at the wolf that was looking down at me and talking to itself.

'You are the other half I was looking for,' the wolf continued in my head. 'I finally tracked you down.'

"What is your name?" For the first time, I spoke in its presence. "How come I'm not afraid of a Nightcrawler Pack unknown wolf?" I'm still perplexed.

'I am your wolf—specifically, your sacred wolf.' When the wolf spoke, it took my attention away from my thoughts.

When my nightmare and all the painful things began to happen in my life here at Nightcrawler Pack, I wished and hoped for my own wolf. I kept dreaming, hoping that a miracle would happen to me one day.

But I stopped sooner.

I gave up and accepted that my wish would never be fulfilled. It will never be realized. It is my life's reality. But now that my desire has come true, what should I do?

When a wolf unexpectedly claimed me as its host, I was perplexed. After all, don't wolves and werewolves share a common ancestor? Why is the wolf who claims to be mine not inside me? Furthermore, because of its unusual eye color and fur, I'm unsure whether to call this animal a wolf or a beast.

I might not have noticed the wolf strolling toward me, exposing its appearance, if it hadn't been for the moonlight. It had glistening black fur that blended into the darkness. Apart from that, it had gleaming red eyes that resembled blood.

All wolves, including alphas and other dominant members of a pack, have golden eyes and varying colors of white, grey, or brown fur.

As a result, this wolf is unique.

"What exactly do you mean? A holy wolf?" I mumbled something. "What exactly was it?" I wondered as I continued to watch the red-eyed wolf.

'I am a sacred wolf because I am the offspring of the moon goddess and the lycan god,' it said again in my mind.

Prior to that night, when everything was normal, I had researched other species such as vampires, lycans, witches, and other beings. Being abused kept me from getting a werewolf education. Regardless, I had no idea the moon goddess and the lycan god had had a child.

"So you're without a host? How did it happen to be me?" Perplexed by this discovery, I inquired. Sincerity be damned, I have no idea where this courage is coming from, knowing that I am speaking to an unusual, and somewhat frightening-looking wolf. At the very least, it wasn't a rogue.

'It's simple, and it's because I chose you,' she says. The wolf spoke up.

I was speechless, possibly because the red-eyed wolf was speaking to me in my head as it stood there like a statue staring down at me.

"So, are you a lycan or a wolf?" I asked again, remembering what it said about being the offspring of the moon goddess and the lycan god.

'Both,' said the wolf in response. I kept silent and just stared at its majestic form.

How can I be certain that this beast didn't pick me at random? I reasoned that because the entire confession didn't seem true to me, "I mean, I'm frail. Nobody wants to pick me. Nobody has ever dared to want me."

The thought of an odd beast claiming to be mine makes me feel foolish because I am the weakest member of the Nightcrawler Pack... or, to put it another way, the entire werewolf community.

'Stop!' The wolf abruptly cried out. I groaned because its voice was so loud. 'Do not describe yourself as weak! It was never a mistake to choose you!' Outside, the beast snarled menacingly while sternly speaking in my head.

"But," I grumbled.

'We are all one. As I previously stated, you are both my host and my partner. Please stop second-guessing yourself. You are deserving.' Sure, the wolf was attempting to calm my nerves. 'I've known about you, the moon goddess, and the lycan god since your birth. Our parents created you for me. You were mine, and that's why you've never had a wolf.' The wolf went on.

The other two are gods, whereas the first two are average. My family consists of four parents. But, given their treatment of me, I doubt they still regard me as their child.

"Why are you calling me right now? Why don't you live inside me from the start?" With a scowl, I inquired.

'Because of my power, you were too young to contain and control me at the time, but you are now mature enough. You're mature enough to have me. The gods had sealed my fate. I've spoken to others, but you are the first of your generation.' The creature raised its voice.

"Sealed? What exactly do you mean?" I inquired.

'Yes, I was sealed. I am more powerful than my parents, and I require the services of a host to manage my abilities.'

"I don't get it," I puzzledly asked.

'I was created many years ago by the lycan god and moon goddess. I was strong, but I didn't have a host, or a partner, to speak of. Someone should rule over a wolf like me. My lack of one was the reason I was secretly sealed. The moon goddess and the lycan god decided to keep my identity hidden. But I wasn't a secret anymore. When other supernatural gods learned about me, they decided to end my life, but they were unable to do so. They couldn't handle my terrifying and powerful abilities. As a result, they decided to find hosts to command me. Each god created his or her own host. But as I got closer to any of them, they all died or surrendered to me. When it was the moon goddess' turn to create, she chose not to include a wolf. And you are the chosen one. The one who will not perish or surrender in front of me. And because I am half lycan, the lycan god will bestow his bloodline on me to serve as a link between the lycans and you.'

The explanation was lengthy, as was the silence.

"But why is this the case now? And since you mentioned knowing me, I'm guessing you're aware that our mate has already rejected us?" I inquired, breaking the silence.

'He's not my pal.' The wolf responded quickly. I was taken aback by what she said, and the beast looked perplexed. 'Any supernatural being could be my mate. I am aware of Samson and your sister, and I am disgusted by them.'

Because of what the wolf said, I can't help but recall my intense dislike for Samson. Was this due to the wolf?

'Always remember that you are not weak. You are more powerful than everyone else, and even more powerful than I am. You put up with the abusive pack for so long, and despite being rejected, you didn't kill yourself. I expected to be too late, but thank God I wasn't. Pay attention to what I'm saying; you're as strong as you are. You are powerful whether you have a wolf or not.'

I sensed a glimmer of hope, a glimmer of strength in the depths of my heart's darkness. I wanted to cry when I heard those words. For the first time, someone believed in me and supported me.

I've been waiting for those words for how long?

Who would have guessed it would come from a wolf—my wolf—rather than anyone else? I knew deep down that I, too, deserved to be loved.

'Nikky, you are strong. You are powerful. You are stronger when you are with me, and we are the strongest when we are together.'

I nodded, dabbing my tears with my calloused hands. The beast makes an excellent point. I am the only one who requires my assistance.

Someone offered me comfort for the first time in a long time. Even though this creature wasn't there for me when things got tough, it gave me something invaluable.

"I've made my decision. I'm going to run away." As my fists formed into a ball, I said.

This is something I've always wanted to do. To flee my gruesome past, I ran away. I desired to depart and forge a new identity. I want a better future, which I won't be able to have if I stay here.

I asked the wolf if he would accompany me without saying anything. After bending its large head forward, it quickly placed its large forehead against mine. I closed my eyes in delight at the unexpected encounter.

"What a nice feeling," I remarked.

'I shall always be within you,' the beast's voice said to me. 'Do not oppose my existence, Nikky,' something entered my body.

Something was going on in my body, particularly in my mind. It lingered in my recollections and ideas, like a good memory.

When I opened my eyes, the room's window was already empty, as if the dark beast that had been there moments before had been a dream. My attention was drawn to my body due to a sting on my back. I winced at the sensation.

I could feel the slices of the silver whip closing up. Wounds on my arm that had previously opened were suddenly closing as if they had never existed.

The aroma of the forest and the smell of dirt took my attention away from the wounds. I noticed that the smell of the trees was stronger than before.

But I was taken aback by what I saw. My physical appearance...

My brown eyes had turned a brilliant violet. My lifeless, drab black hair became shiny and vibrant. I swung my body from left to right and noticed that I wasn't in any pain.

'You inherited the lycan god's bloodline. That's why your appearance has changed.' The beast spoke to me in my dreams. I couldn't help but pause when I realized the wolf had already taken up residence within me.

The beast then reminded me of the ceremony, so I went there right away. Later, I heard a round of applause. 'I guess it's time to leave this place,' I thought as I walked away from the mirror and toward the double doors.

I took a step back and a step forward toward the adventure of my new life. Of course, I never failed to look at the moon.

Before I set out to run the pack's border trail, I heard Samson's father say, "Nightcrawler Pack, here's to your new Alpha and Luna!"

This is the end of the Nightcrawler Pack.

I fled to my new life.