Shit. I am in such deep shit.

The silence of the bus ride gives my mind free rein to dive head first into my past and torture me with it. I swore I'd never go back knowing they'd be there if I did. Sometimes I used yo wonder if they would ever stoo and miss me. Wonder where I am and how I'm doing. If they still care. Then, that's probably wishful thinking. They wouldn't have betrayed me if they actually ever did care about me. If all can't have been a lie. We became friends before I found the secrets hidden in the diary I was left with when I was dumped on the orphanage's front steps. It had my father's name in the margins or I assumed it was my fathers.

Markus Johnsen.

So, that's the last name I was given. Not that it means anything to me. It's just a name that belonged to someone who didn't want me. Therefore, the abandonment issues. Told you.

Those issues just got worse after the only friends I've ever had abandoned me too. I still remember the day Mr. Rux came to the orphanage with the people who had adopted me. You would think. I would've been to happy to finally have a family but you see I already had one or so I thought. We were so closed to finding the treasure and then daddy Rux shows up with a middle-aged wowan saying she's my new mommy. I asked where the boys were, if they knew about this when Mr. Rux said they'd been the ones who asked him to find me a home far away from there. He asked for the diary and that's when I knew. They sent me away to find the treasure on their own. To make their little gang proud, prove themselves to daddy Rux and be initiated in the gang they always told me they never wanted to be a part of.

It doesn't matter now anyway. I gave Mr. Rux the notebook I'd witten down some school crap in, quickly scribbling some ideas of where the treasure might be, as if I'd tried to break the code, before handing it over.

Leading them to the wrong place hoping they'd give up after that assuming I'd been wrong. Turns out most of our friendship was a lie. But at least, for a little while, it was a beautiful one.

That was a little over ten years ago. They probably wouldn't even recognize me now nor them. I hope. Still, I wonder what to do about my hair. The chocolate brown color needs to be renewed my natural color peeking out at the roots. But if I keep it dark Gregorio could pick me out in a crowd. The smart thing would be to change it.

To something that doesn't stand out too much of the course. If I go natural, I'll be recognizable to my past. I could always go red. Though I doubt it would look good on me. Especially not in my place where it's summer almost year round.

My pale skin has never taken to the constant sunlight. If I'm not careful or covered in sun lotion I'll turn red within five minutes.

So, if I become a red head, I risk my skin and hair matching. I scratch red from the list. We have a lighter shade of brown, my natural ashy blonde or a cold nearly white or silver blonde.

First of all, I need to find a place to sleep, which should be easy enough I've slept under a dark blue star filled roof morr than once, a job to get some money and then I can head to the salon to fix my hair.

--

My heart hammers in my chest as I get on the next bus. Two more hours and then I'll be back home.

Home.

I shouldn't think of it like that anymore but no other place has ever felt so much like this. They say home is where your heart is and I left mine in King's cove ten year ago. Returning to it is terrifying.

We pass the border and enter the outskirts of town. We drive fast and rich summer houses. Even though it isn't summer the houses aren't left empty. Other people live in them and take care of the gardens while the owners wherever they spend the rest of the year.

The security on these places is rediculous. But I suppose they are aware of the gang running this town and won't any chances.

My thoughts stray to the run-down house at the beach. It sits against the cliffside and the slab of curved beach in front is private. I used to dream of buying it. Renovating the place, it beautiful again. Paint it white all around. The living room would take up most of the lower level with floor to ceiling windows that open onto the deck would have steps that lead down to the patch of grass that separate the sand from the house. A picket fence with a little gate would be at the grass' edge marking our property.

The kitchen and the living room would be one big space with no walls between them. The kitchen would have dark brown cupboards while everything else is white.

There would be a kitchen isle in the middle with four bar stools on one side. To the left of the kitchen would be the stairs leading up to the bedrooms. Five in total.

Mine would of course the largest with a queen size bed and a bookshelf with all my favorites on it. One of the windows looking out to the ocean would have a window seat where I can sit and read. The connecting bathroom will have a built-in bathtub that sits beneath a round window.

To the left of the living room there'd be an office and library that everyone would share. There, I'd have all my other books kept safe and put prettily on display. The days we decide to work from home we'd spend in there running whatever business we'd settle on. Of course, by the time we'd have enough money for this we would have already travelled the world and seen everything we wanted for while getting our degrees.

It was a nice dream. But that's all it was. All it will ever be. A dream.

The bus rolls to stop. Ten bucks lighter I step off. Taking a moment to breathe in the ocean scented air and listen to the people busting about. Heading home for the day or going shopping. The bus stop sits in the rich part of town that's relatively safe from gang business so I don't have to worry about running into anyone familiar up here.

Sadly, to find work I have to head over the border into pack territory. Praying that I don't run into any wolves I make my way into the rougher part of town. Restaurants, small shops and bars litter the roads closet to the sea. It looks mostly the same. People mill about, thankfully none are familiar. I catch sight of the wolf tattoo that marks members of the pack on a few people I pass and duck my head going unnoticed.

I head only to the only stripper joint in town. Not daring to try for a bartender gig in one of the bars since wolves are more likely to hang out there. Few of them frequent the balck peony.

Those wolves that are there will likely be too distracted to look closely at my face. I doubt anyone would recognize me even if my face was inches from theirs but I don't want to take any chances.

The place is quite empty. The door was open so I just walked in but its clear they're not open yet.

"Hey!" A voice calls from the right where a long bar strands against the entire wall. Bottles of different kinds of expensive liquor sits on the glass shelves at the back. "What are doing in here?" The figure behind me the bar questions eyeing me suspiciously. His eyes are framed with eyeliner and he wears a tight black button up drawing attention to the thick muscles beneath. His dark skin gleams under the spotlights lighting up the place.

Giving him a sweet smile that isn't forced at all because this guy is really fucking hot. "I'm sorry, the door was open so-"

"You just wandered inside," he finishes for me.

Nodding sheepishly, I walk closer adding a swing to my hips. His gaze travels down my body openly checking me out. "Yeah, sorry. I was just wondering if you're hiring?" I lower my hood and pull my hair out letting it tumble around my face. The strands are looking and in desperate need of cutting.

"You're a stripper?" He questions looking slightly surprised. Eyes wandering over the bruise sadness shining in them.

"Yeah, and a bartender," I add just in case they're in need of that too. Looking over me one more time he nods and puts the towel in his hands down on the counter. Elegantly he hops over the counter landing on his feet next to me. The graceful movement and effortless show of agility makes my mouth pop open. Releasing a low whistle of appreciation, I let my eyes trail over his tall form.

He grins knowingly ta me. "Alright then. Come on, I'll take you to boss."

He leads me backstage down corridors lined with doors. Some are marked as costume or workout rooms others a bathrooms. We pass one marked "dressing room" before reaching the end of the hall.

BOSS is written on it, plain and simple. The hot bartender raps his knuckles against the door leaning one shoulder on the frame. A short burly man in his forties drag it open. His dark beard is short cropped and his green eyes stand out against his tan skin.

He gives the bartender a lopsided smile. "What can I do for you, Max?"

The hot bartender, Max, nods his head back at me. "Girl wandered in said she's looking for work. Stripping or bartending apparently, she does both." Max kicks off the frame and steps back letting boss get a look at me. His eyes imme go to my eye.

Nodding he motions for me to come inside his office. Max gives me a wink before heading back the way we came. Closing the door behind me follow boss to his desk where he slumps into a brown leather chair.

"Sit, sit," he murmured motioning at the two chairs in front. Boss watches me closely as I sauter over as if calculating my every movement. "So, you've worked before?"

Nodding I look at his office. There's not much except for the desk in it. It's littered with papers. By the window to the right there's a cart with some whiskey and a couple of glasses on it. That's about it. The walls are bare the tapestries an empty dark blue.

"I haven't stripped in a few years since I've been bartending but I'm sure it'll come to me quick. I've got old routines I can do to begin with and am comfortable on stage." I tell him trying not to sell myself short.

"Well, you're not hard to look at." He stared and it doesn't sound creepy or like a compliment just a fact. "May I ask how old you are?"

"Twenty-three." I supply without hesitating. "Sixteen when I started stripping and eighteen when bartending,'' I add knowing that's his next question.

"Sixteen." He breathes. "That's young." His eyes go distant lost in thought. Boss opens a drawer pulling a oack5 of cigarettes out. "You mind?"

Shaking my head in answer I watched as he places one in between his lips lightening it before offering me one. "I don't smoke," I declined it and he gave me a smile.

"Don't start. It ain't good for you." He puts the packet down and huffs out some smoke. "Tried to quit a few times but failed every time so I gave up on trying." Boss says conversationally turning the cigarette in his hand over. "Now, my back to the matter at hand. I don't force my dancers to do anything they don't want. Most of them make up their own routines and you make you own rules.

You want to add private dancers, do it. This establishment doesn't offer any other physical services but some of the boys and girls are escorts on the side to earn some extra and they all have my protection no matter that it isn't connected to working here. So, you'll have my protection and help to get out of that sort of work if you should ever need it."

"I don't, but thank you. Private dancers are where I draw the line," I tell him happy to hear he looks after the people working for him. This can be a dangerous business to be in and not all bosses are like this one.

"That makes things simple. You set your own hours but if there's extra hours I hand them out equally. Can you start tonight?" He stands holding out a hand.

"Absolutely, boss," I responded taking it.

"Great, I'll draw up your contract first thing tomorrow morning. Come in some time around lunch to sign it and get your schedule."

I nodded relieve at how easy this was. "Thanks, boss."

"Call me, Ken."

Ken showed me to the dressing room, which is huge. The space is filled with vanities littered with make-up. The mirrors have built in lights rolling garment racks are bursting with outfits and fill the room. I follow Ken inside weaving between the racks.

"Lexie, this is Maddy, She'll get you ready for tonight and make sure music and everything's ready." Ken hands me off to a tan freckled woman with strawberry blonde hair and Jed eyes.

She gives me blinding smile throwing her arms around me. "Hi! It's so nice to meet you." She exclaimed stepping back. Maddy looks over my shoulder at Ken. "Don't worry, boss. We'll take good care of her."

Nodding, ken gives us wide smile before heading back to his office. Maddy leads me over to a tiny kitchen in a corner filled with a group of men and women chatting amongst themselves.

"Everybody!" She claps her hands getting their attention. "This is Lexie our new colleague. She's dancing tonight so I want everyone to pitch in showing her the ropes," she said making me sound like an amateur. "You'll learn all the names in time," Maddy murmured pushing me into a chair and settles down next to me.

People call out hello's and are genuinely very nice.

"So, since our biggest clientele are heterosexual men all nights except Tuesdays and Saturdays, we girls dance and serve while the boys bartender. Tuesdays and Saturdays are girls nights so the boys dance and we do the rest." Maddy explained as people separate from the group heading away to get ready for work. Maddy doesn't seem to be in a hurry though, so I don't stress. Taking my time to breathe everything in and learn the way they run things here.

Two girls turn their chairs our way, joining the conversation. "I'm Bella, that's Jasmine." The Almond skinned woman with short light brown hair, Bella, said. Her eyes are captivating. Narrow and sultry. Jasmine smiled brightly at me. Her long dark curls tumble down her back and frames her pretty face.

"Hi, I'm Lexie," I said smiling back.

They offer their tips and warns me from certain patrons that can get a bit too handsy or doesn't have the best hygiene. We exchanged stories and chat easily for a while and listen closely to everything they have to say about the Black peony.

"So, what brings you to King's cove?" Jasmine asked once the conversation starts to die down.

I chuckled uncomfortably not knowing what to say. "Long story short, I grew up here and felt it was time to come back." Not a total lie.

"Where'd you use to live?" Bella asked excitedly.

"Oh, uhm, you know that the orphanage?" She nodded. "Around ther," I answered vaguely. If people hear about a woman name Lexie that lived at the orphanage, they'll start putting two and two together so vague answer it is.

"Oh my god. I grew up on the east side in one of the townhouses by the park," Bella responsded and I nodded remembering the area well enough.

Shade and Hunter grew up there. Both of their mothers were single and stripped to get by. I think they even worked here. The small townhouses are a bit ragged and could use some paint but it's neighborhood with a lot of families and single mothers so it was a relatively good place to grow up. We used to hang out there a lot. Shade's mother always baked us cookies. Well, she heated up bought cookies and pretended to have made them.

That woman really couldn't cook. Hunter8 mom could though. She made the most amazing stew. My heart aches at the memories and I chased them away before the girls noticed my dip in mood.

"Does the pack still run things?" I asked already knowing the answer but curious to hear about it. I need to know about the boys so I can avoid them and Mr. Rux.

"Yeah, Rux is still running this city. Though Ryder Rux hepls him now," Bella said eyes glinting at the mentioned of the son. "Him and his friends run a gym and bar on their own. Fronts for the gang business." She leans in lowering her voice.

Jasmine sighed her eyes drifting away. "They're so hot.. it's so sad they never come here." Thank fuck. I think to myself as Jasmine goes on. "They're like the avengers but tattooed and morally ambiguous."

Maddy leans in two and looks between us. "Allison, she's tall with short blonde hair you'll meet her soon, her ex accused her of cheating, which she hadn't, and hit her. She was on her way to work the next day when she ran into Shade. He saw her bruised face," Maddy breaks off and eyes the bruise around my eye before continuing. "He followed her here and put some iced on her eye. He didn't leave until she'd told him what happened. Same day, her ex runs from town with his tail between his legs never to return on pain death." She leans back into her chair. "They may be morally ambiguous but they're good men. Know how to treat a girl right." Maddy adds throwing pitying glances my way.

None of them ask about how I got the bruise, but I read on their expressions I can talk them if I need to. I give them smiles that reassures them I will if I need it. "Any of you know anymore who's in need of a roommate?" I wonder changing the subject. I've heard what I need about the boys. Talking about them more will make the ache in my chest worse.

Bella frowns before perking up. "We'll ask around but you're welcome to sleep on our couch until you find a place. It's really comfortable."

Jasmine nods and I figure they're living together.

"Thank you." I breathe. "You're life saver." They both smile warmly at me and follow Maddy as she ushers me in front of a vanity exclaiming at how the time flies by. Bella and Jasmine help with my hair, curling it in long flowing waves.

Maddy expertly covers up the bruises on my face and neck. She eyes the hand prints for a a moment before getting back to work. My face now looks alive and stunning. My gaunt cheeks have turned into high cheekbones and the dark circles under my eyes are gone making me look bright and healthy. The false lashes add some volume on my own and that cat eye make-up gives me a dark sultry look. My lips are painted red drawing focus to them

They've always been one of my best assets, naturally big plump. The red lipstick only enhances that.

The red bra pushes up my small breast to give them some plushiness and the matching thong sits perfectly over my hips accentuating my waist. I like my small chest but sometimes they need a little push. My ass however is fully capable to stand on its own. My thighs have always been thick and are now corded with muscle. Hips wide and around ass look glorious in this outfit. The red glittering heels are strapped onto my feet lengthening my kind of short legs. I'm 5'5 so I'm not exactly short but not tall either.

The girls lead me around backstage to place where we can see the entire clubbl that's quickly filling with people. It's a friday night and they expect every seat to be fiiled. Bella leaves us to start her shift. I watch as she works the pole effortlessly mesmerizing anyone who lays their eyes on her. Maddy points out the pole in the middle where I'll make my debut. The nerves start creeping in. It doesn't matter how big of small the venue is, I always get nervous right before I start dancing. Then I forget everything. This place is bigger than anywhere I've ever worked before making me more nervous than usual.

Maddy and Jasmine hype me up as they noticed that I'm in need of it. Their words make me relax a bit and walk on steady feet onto me relax a bit and walk on steady feet onto the stage. The beat of music takes over the drum of my heart. It sinks into my skin and flows through my veins as I start to move. I realized that I've missed this.

That I for the first time in years feel somewhat like myself again as I move under the spotlights. Forgetting everything except the movement of my body to the music that fills up every empty space inside me.

Shade pov

"Will you shut up if we come?" Hunter snaps at Dylan who keeps prattling on about a "guys night." The man's as loyal as they get and a hell of a sharpshooter but he talks non-stop. He's been trying to get us on to come with him to the Black peony for years.

"Sure dude." Dylan answers distracted by something on his phone. "Tonight's the perfect night." He exclaimed face lighting up. "They just posted that a new dancer's on the stage tonight. Let's go check her out." He bounces in place like an excited over grown puppy.

Jeremy shrig8 not against going. He's the more social of us and can stand Dylan's incessant chatter. I'll go if the others do, I don't really care either way.

Hunter makes a show of looking pissed, which he does most of the time. He rarely smiles anymore. He mostly works and keeps to himself.

Ryder looks to me and I give him a shrug that says it's up to the others. He's the unannounaced leader of our group. Though we try to be a democracy, Ryder's the one who makes the split decisions if there's no time to discuss. I can see the thoughts churning in his head, always calculating. He's probably thinking that going with some of the younger wolves, and one or two of the pups, to the strip club will strengthen our bonds with them and strengthen the pack.

"Alright, let's go." Ryder nods to the park9 lot and Dylan squeals jogging to Jeremy's truck.

I make a mental note to check up on Allison while we're there as a throw a leg over my bike and start it up. Ryder's bike is parked next to mine and he nods before disappearing down the road. I follow behind Jem's truck before gliding up next to the passenger seat where Hunter sits looking glum. Breezing past them I ride next to Ryder brining his competitive side into light. Our motorcycle pick up speed as we compete to reach the clubs parking a lot first. I beat him by a corner. Ryder glares at me as he turns his bike off and grumbles something about it needing an upgrade.

"Don't blame the bike, you're only as good as you drive," I teased as Jem parks next to us. Ryder lunges for me wrestling my head under his arm and ruffling up my dark hair. Shoving out of his grip I stumbled away chuckling.

The light are dimmed and takes a while for a guard keeping the crowd at bay to recognize us. His black immediately strengthens and head dips in respect as he let us pass.

We're led by a waitress in high heels and a short black dress to one of the tables that sit front and middle. Two pups and give of the other wolves our age sit there, drinks in hand. They make room for us and people rush away to get our order.

Closer by nine inch nails blasts through the speakers as a girl in a red lace set moves around the pole. I sink into my seat, eyes locked on her as she dances. She's absolutely stunning. The way she hits every beat and comes alive to the rhythm. As if they're one and the same. It doesn't hurt that her ass is fucking perfect. I'm not normally a fan of places like this but I'd come here every night just to see her.

Anger rises unbidden as I noticed every other guy in this place watching her every move. Hunter's glower is gone replaced by absolute awe. Jem's drooling and Ryder's leaning back hit thumb resting against his lower lip.

Dylan stops one of the waitresses carrying our drinks and asks "who is she?"

The waitress looks up at the stage and smiles wide. "She's made quite the entrance, hasn't she?" She muses as she appreciates her new colleagues moves. "Lexie. Her name is Lexie." She added before walking away.

Lexie. I nicknamed a friend that once.

Alexa.

Her name strikes a chord in my chest in my chest which echoes through my head. I try not to think about her, but sometimes the sky reminds me of her eyes or I imagined I hear her a laugh in a crowd and I can't help but remember. Then there's the songs that none of us listen to anymore.

They come on the radio and Ryder changes the channel. Sometimes, when I'm alone, I torture myself by playing them over and over again. I have a feeling Hunter and Jem do the same. She broke something vital in all four of us the day she took her fathers diary and skipped town without even leaving so much as a note. Hunter became obsessed with finding her and I don't think he ever stopped searching. Not even when Ryder ordered us to stop. I don't think Ry could take coming up empty again.

The music shifts and the crowd goes wild, begging the dark-haired woman in red to stay on stage. U + Ur hand by pink starts playing instead and I catch a bright smile as she stripper spins. Her red painted lips move along to the lyrics as she lets loose. She gradually lowers herself into a crouch in front of our table. Falling to her knees, she skims her fingers up her thighs, over stomach and above her head. Flipping her hair in a circle her knees slide apart and she places her hands on the ground and leans forward giving our table an eyeful of her chest. One of the pups jumps forward and tuckes a dollar bill into the strap of her bra. She winks at him and straightens on her knees rolling her body to the beat.

Her eyes flutter open and locked with mine.

Everything stops. The air in my lungs dissipates. My muscles lock and I can't hear a thing.

Lexie.

She's here. On stage. Stripping. My lexie is dancing on stage in her underwear being watched by over a hundred men.

She's here.

Lexie.

My lexie.

"What did you just say?" Ryder snarls. His black eyes are furious. Jem and Hunter are all staring at me. Jem's expressions is sad, worry shining in his grey eyes. Hunter's face is a carefully blank not an emotion shows on his features.

I look at my friends. The fear of being wrong, of my eyes betraying me. Creeps in. But I'd know those eyes anywhere. It's her. I know it is. "Lexie. She's here."

My own feelings are reflected back at me in their faces. Shock and hope mixing in their eyes.

"Where?" Hunter snaps back first. He turns in his chair searching the room for her famili6 ashy blonde hair. His gaze is frantic, the way he snaps his head around desperate.

I tilt my chin at the stage in front of us. "Up there."

Their brows furrow as their expressions start to fall with disappoinment. All they see is a grown dark-haired woman. But as they look closer at her face, they noticed what I did. Jem's gaze falls on her stomach as his face lights with hope. He's looking for the tiny round birthmark that sits right above her navel.

"It's her." Jem turns back to me a choked laugh bubbling out his throat. Right there, above her navel is the mark.

I take in the black and white flowers tattooed over her right shoulder. The delicate leaves end right beneath her key bone and it seems to climb behind her shoulder too. A black lily climbs its way up the side of her left hip. The same lily in white is wrapped around yhe the black one snaking down it.

I remember the day she got her first tattoo. I kept telling her that she could squeeze my hand as hard as she wanted too. That it'd be over quick and anything else I could to reassure her she could handle the pain. When the needles pierced her skin, she didn't even flinch. She sat there gazing stead8 at me not moving a muscle. She said it fucking tickled. Jem had groaned and nearly broken the bones in Hunter's hand as he got his first. But she took it like a pro.

The word thats marring all of our skin burns where it sits over the elbow pit of my left arm. My fingers trace the letters over the fabric of the black shirt I wear. Knowing them my heart.

Ryder's voice snaps me back to reality. He's waved a waitress over. "We want a private dance with Lexie." His tone brokers no argument making the waut8 shuffle her feet.

"I'm sorry, sir, it's her first night I don't know if she'll do private dances tonight." She responds, eyes wary.

"Then find out." Ryder bites through clenched teeth. The womam scurries away on her high heels while Ryder turns back to Lexie. His fists are clenched and shoulders tight as he fights the urge to pummel the man who slips a dollar bill into Lexie's thong.

"She's a stripper." Huntet stated talking to himself more than us. He stared at her in disbelief pain twisting his features and worry darkening his forest green eyes.

"Not anymore." Ryder growls eyes never leaving her.

We've all dreamed of her. Of seeing her again. Of getting her back. Wondered what she looks like now. Where she's been and what she's doing. If she's okay. If she'll ever come back.

Now here she is. Hair dark and dancing in a fucking strio club. Doing a great job at it too. This isn't her first time on stage. I wonder if this is how she's gotten by all these years. How young she was when she had to resort to stripping to survive.

Not that there's anything wrong with the profession but there are establishment that are wrong. Worry over what else she may have done to survive. All of it leads me back to the question it always does:

Why did she leave?