Most of the time, most days, I don't feel anything. Not today.

Today, fear has a choke hold on me. It makes my stomach churn with nausea.

Did I kill him?

I hope I did.

Because if I didn't....

If Gregorio isn't dead, I will be.

Tucking my dark hair into the hoodie and pulling the hood up, I weaved through the people on the street. Pushing against the sea of people I move further from the apartment.

I need to get out of town, now. Today.

I tossed my phone in a trash can around yhe corner, knowing they'll track me through it, before heading to the bus station. Keeping my head down and footsteps hurried I rack my brain over where to go. All I know is that I need to leave Angelfall. The fifty bucks I snatched on my way out of the apartment along with my father's diary, the only thing I have of him, burns a hole in my pocket.

The station gets closer by the second and my panic rised. I need to figure shit out fast. Come on, Alex think. I urged myself to find a solution.

You could always go home. A little voice at the back of my head whispers.

No, I can't. RIGHT? That'd be stupid. But know one would know to look for me there. I never told Gregorio where I came from and he didn't care. I should have dumped his ass a long time ago but when I met him, I had nothing. Quite literally. I lived in an apartment, with five other girls and three guys, that was ready to collapse on top of all our heads.

I worked as a bartender in dingy bar that barely paid enough to feed me and had me kicking a different guy's ass who couldn't take no every night. Not the safest job but the only one I could get back then. The other girls where strippers or prostitute, same with the guys, and I couldn't go back to doing that again. Stripping that is, luckily, I've always managed to get by without being forced to sell my body to survive.

Gregorio and some of his buddies came into the bar one night, looking so out of place in their expensive button ups and thousand dollars shoes. He took a glanced at me and decided I was going to be his. Greg was charming and nice at the start. His short dark blonde hair and bright green eyes weren't hard to look at either. When people started hearing I was dating him I got less trouble at work.

Being his girl gave me protection. So, when he asked me to move into his penthouse apartment, I said yes. Things were great. Until we had our first fight and he pushed me into a table.

The next day he was so sorry and swore it wouldn't happen again if I'd just behaved. I realized now what a manipulative jerk he is. In one breath he could tell me I was his everything while also calling me a worthless slut. It fucked with my head. I was so starved for love that I didn't care if he beat me from time to time.

And as those times drew closer and closer together I didn't notice. Being beaten is something I know how to live with. If the other kidd at the orphanage didn't beat you the Miss Lana did. There we starved most of the time and was beaten almost daily. So, living with a fully belly in a luxurious penthouse is great in comparison in spite of the abusive boyfriend.

A therapist would probably have a field day with my self-esteem issues along with all the other ones. Daddy, mommy, trust, abandonment, you name an issue and I've probably got it. I stayed with Gregorio because I'd rather face the devil I know than the one I don't and there are too many of those out here.

Shaking my head, I halted my mind before the memories of the last twenty-four hours can creep in. I'll deal with that later.

"Where to?" The man selling tickets asked from inside his booth. He eyes my bruised eye but doesn't say anything.

Making a split decision I buy a ticket to a city five hours away, two hours from home. From there, I'll take another bus to King's cove. If or when Greg comes after me it'll lead him in the wrong direction first, buying me more time. Hopefully enough time to get in an out as quickly as possible.

I'll find some quick easy work to get by during my stay, figure out who from my past is where and how best to avoid them then I'll find where the treasure my father's ancestors buried somewhere is, take it and get the hell out of the country.

Should be easy enough.

Shit. I am in such deep shit.

The silence of the bus ride gives my mind free rein to dive head first into my past and torture me with it. I swore I'd never go back knowing they'd be there if I did. Sometimes I used yo wonder if they would ever stoo and miss me. Wonder where I am and how I'm doing. If they still care. Then, that's probably wishful thinking. They wouldn't have betrayed me if they actually ever did care about me. If all can't have been a lie. We became friends before I found the secrets hidden in the diary I was left with when I was dumped on the orphanage's front steps. It had my father's name in the margins or I assumed it was my fathers.

Markus Johnsen.

So, that's the last name I was given. Not that it means anything to me. It's just a name that belonged to someone who didn't want me. Therefore, the abandonment issues. Told you.

Those issues just got worse after the only friends I've ever had abandoned me too. I still remember the day Mr. Rux came to the orphanage with the people who had adopted me. You would think. I would've been to happy to finally have a family but you see I already had one or so I thought. We were so closed to finding the treasure and then daddy Rux shows up with a middle-aged wowan saying she's my new mommy. I asked where the boys were, if they knew about this when Mr. Rux said they'd been the ones who asked him to find me a home far away from there. He asked for the diary and that's when I knew. They sent me away to find the treasure on their own. To make their little gang proud, prove themselves to daddy Rux and be initiated in the gang they always told me they never wanted to be a part of.

It doesn't matter now anyway. I gave Mr. Rux the notebook I'd witten down some school crap in, quickly scribbling some ideas of where the treasure might be, as if I'd tried to break the code, before handing it over.

Leading them to the wrong place hoping they'd give up after that assuming I'd been wrong. Turns out most of our friendship was a lie. But at least, for a little while, it was a beautiful one.

That was a little over ten years ago. They probably wouldn't even recognize me now nor them. I hope. Still, I wonder what to do about my hair. The chocolate brown color needs to be renewed my natural color peeking out at the roots. But if I keep it dark Gregorio could pick me out in a crowd. The smart thing would be to change it.

To something that doesn't stand out too much of the course. If I go natural, I'll be recognizable to my past. I could always go red. Though I doubt it would look good on me. Especially not in my place where it's summer almost year round.

My pale skin has never taken to the constant sunlight. If I'm not careful or covered in sun lotion I'll turn red within five minutes.

So, if I become a red head, I risk my skin and hair matching. I scratch red from the list. We have a lighter shade of brown, my natural ashy blonde or a cold nearly white or silver blonde.

First of all, I need to find a place to sleep, which should be easy enough I've slept under a dark blue star filled roof morr than once, a job to get some money and then I can head to the salon to fix my hair.

--

My heart hammers in my chest as I get on the next bus. Two more hours and then I'll be back home.

Home.

I shouldn't think of it like that anymore but no other place has ever felt so much like this. They say home is where your heart is and I left mine in King's cove ten year ago. Returning to it is terrifying.

We pass the border and enter the outskirts of town. We drive fast and rich summer houses. Even though it isn't summer the houses aren't left empty. Other people live in them and take care of the gardens while the owners wherever they spend the rest of the year.

The security on these places is rediculous. But I suppose they are aware of the gang running this town and won't any chances.

My thoughts stray to the run-down house at the beach. It sits against the cliffside and the slab of curved beach in front is private. I used to dream of buying it. Renovating the place, it beautiful again. Paint it white all around. The living room would take up most of the lower level with floor to ceiling windows that open onto the deck would have steps that lead down to the patch of grass that separate the sand from the house. A picket fence with a little gate would be at the grass' edge marking our property.

The kitchen and the living room would be one big space with no walls between them. The kitchen would have dark brown cupboards while everything else is white.

There would be a kitchen isle in the middle with four bar stools on one side. To the left of the kitchen would be the stairs leading up to the bedrooms. Five in total.

Mine would of course the largest with a queen size bed and a bookshelf with all my favorites on it. One of the windows looking out to the ocean would have a window seat where I can sit and read. The connecting bathroom will have a built-in bathtub that sits beneath a round window.

To the left of the living room there'd be an office and library that everyone would share. There, I'd have all my other books kept safe and put prettily on display. The days we decide to work from home we'd spend in there running whatever business we'd settle on. Of course, by the time we'd have enough money for this we would have already travelled the world and seen everything we wanted for while getting our degrees.

It was a nice dream. But that's all it was. All it will ever be. A dream.

The bus rolls to stop. Ten bucks lighter I step off. Taking a moment to breathe in the ocean scented air and listen to the people busting about. Heading home for the day or going shopping. The bus stop sits in the rich part of town that's relatively safe from gang business so I don't have to worry about running into anyone familiar up here.

Sadly, to find work I have to head over the border into pack territory. Praying that I don't run into any wolves I make my way into the rougher part of town. Restaurants, small shops and bars litter the roads closet to the sea. It looks mostly the same. People mill about, thankfully none are familiar. I catch sight of the wolf tattoo that marks members of the pack on a few people I pass and duck my head going unnoticed.

I head only to the only stripper joint in town. Not daring to try for a bartender gig in one of the bars since wolves are more likely to hang out there. Few of them frequent the balck peony.

Those wolves that are there will likely be too distracted to look closely at my face. I doubt anyone would recognize me even if my face was inches from theirs but I don't want to take any chances.

The place is quite empty. The door was open so I just walked in but its clear they're not open yet.

"Hey!" A voice calls from the right where a long bar strands against the entire wall. Bottles of different kinds of expensive liquor sits on the glass shelves at the back. "What are doing in here?" The figure behind me the bar questions eyeing me suspiciously. His eyes are framed with eyeliner and he wears a tight black button up drawing attention to the thick muscles beneath. His dark skin gleams under the spotlights lighting up the place.

Giving him a sweet smile that isn't forced at all because this guy is really fucking hot. "I'm sorry, the door was open so-"

"You just wandered inside," he finishes for me.

Nodding sheepishly, I walk closer adding a swing to my hips. His gaze travels down my body openly checking me out. "Yeah, sorry. I was just wondering if you're hiring?" I lower my hood and pull my hair out letting it tumble around my face. The strands are looking and in desperate need of cutting.

"You're a stripper?" He questions looking slightly surprised. Eyes wandering over the bruise sadness shining in them.

"Yeah, and a bartender," I add just in case they're in need of that too. Looking over me one more time he nods and puts the towel in his hands down on the counter. Elegantly he hops over the counter landing on his feet next to me. The graceful movement and effortless show of agility makes my mouth pop open. Releasing a low whistle of appreciation, I let my eyes trail over his tall form.

He grins knowingly ta me. "Alright then. Come on, I'll take you to boss."

He leads me backstage down corridors lined with doors. Some are marked as costume or workout rooms others a bathrooms. We pass one marked "dressing room" before reaching the end of the hall.

BOSS is written on it, plain and simple. The hot bartender raps his knuckles against the door leaning one shoulder on the frame. A short burly man in his forties drag it open. His dark beard is short cropped and his green eyes stand out against his tan skin.

He gives the bartender a lopsided smile. "What can I do for you, Max?"

The hot bartender, Max, nods his head back at me. "Girl wandered in said she's looking for work. Stripping or bartending apparently, she does both." Max kicks off the frame and steps back letting boss get a look at me. His eyes imme go to my eye.

Nodding he motions for me to come inside his office. Max gives me a wink before heading back the way we came. Closing the door behind me follow boss to his desk where he slumps into a brown leather chair.

"Sit, sit," he murmured motioning at the two chairs in front. Boss watches me closely as I sauter over as if calculating my every movement. "So, you've worked before?"

Nodding I look at his office. There's not much except for the desk in it. It's littered with papers. By the window to the right there's a cart with some whiskey and a couple of glasses on it. That's about it. The walls are bare the tapestries an empty dark blue.

"I haven't stripped in a few years since I've been bartending but I'm sure it'll come to me quick. I've got old routines I can do to begin with and am comfortable on stage." I tell him trying not to sell myself short.

"Well, you're not hard to look at." He stared and it doesn't sound creepy or like a compliment just a fact. "May I ask how old you are?"

"Twenty-three." I supply without hesitating. "Sixteen when I started stripping and eighteen when bartending,'' I add knowing that's his next question.

"Sixteen." He breathes. "That's young." His eyes go distant lost in thought. Boss opens a drawer pulling a oack5 of cigarettes out. "You mind?"

Shaking my head in answer I watched as he places one in between his lips lightening it before offering me one. "I don't smoke," I declined it and he gave me a smile.

"Don't start. It ain't good for you." He puts the packet down and huffs out some smoke. "Tried to quit a few times but failed every time so I gave up on trying." Boss says conversationally turning the cigarette in his hand over. "Now, my back to the matter at hand. I don't force my dancers to do anything they don't want. Most of them make up their own routines and you make you own rules.

You want to add private dancers, do it. This establishment doesn't offer any other physical services but some of the boys and girls are escorts on the side to earn some extra and they all have my protection no matter that it isn't connected to working here. So, you'll have my protection and help to get out of that sort of work if you should ever need it."

"I don't, but thank you. Private dancers are where I draw the line," I tell him happy to hear he looks after the people working for him. This can be a dangerous business to be in and not all bosses are like this one.

"That makes things simple. You set your own hours but if there's extra hours I hand them out equally. Can you start tonight?" He stands holding out a hand.

"Absolutely, boss," I responded taking it.

"Great, I'll draw up your contract first thing tomorrow morning. Come in some time around lunch to sign it and get your schedule."

I nodded relieve at how easy this was. "Thanks, boss."

"Call me, Ken."

Ken showed me to the dressing room, which is huge. The space is filled with vanities littered with make-up. The mirrors have built in lights rolling garment racks are bursting with outfits and fill the room. I follow Ken inside weaving between the racks.

"Lexie, this is Maddy, She'll get you ready for tonight and make sure music and everything's ready." Ken hands me off to a tan freckled woman with strawberry blonde hair and Jed eyes.

She gives me blinding smile throwing her arms around me. "Hi! It's so nice to meet you." She exclaimed stepping back. Maddy looks over my shoulder at Ken. "Don't worry, boss. We'll take good care of her."

Nodding, ken gives us wide smile before heading back to his office. Maddy leads me over to a tiny kitchen in a corner filled with a group of men and women chatting amongst themselves.

"Everybody!" She claps her hands getting their attention. "This is Lexie our new colleague. She's dancing tonight so I want everyone to pitch in showing her the ropes," she said making me sound like an amateur. "You'll learn all the names in time," Maddy murmured pushing me into a chair and settles down next to me.

People call out hello's and are genuinely very nice.

"So, since our biggest clientele are heterosexual men all nights except Tuesdays and Saturdays, we girls dance and serve while the boys bartender. Tuesdays and Saturdays are girls nights so the boys dance and we do the rest." Maddy explained as people separate from the group heading away to get ready for work. Maddy doesn't seem to be in a hurry though, so I don't stress. Taking my time to breathe everything in and learn the way they run things here.

Two girls turn their chairs our way, joining the conversation. "I'm Bella, that's Jasmine." The Almond skinned woman with short light brown hair, Bella, said. Her eyes are captivating. Narrow and sultry. Jasmine smiled brightly at me. Her long dark curls tumble down her back and frames her pretty face.

"Hi, I'm Lexie," I said smiling back.

They offer their tips and warns me from certain patrons that can get a bit too handsy or doesn't have the best hygiene. We exchanged stories and chat easily for a while and listen closely to everything they have to say about the Black peony.

"So, what brings you to King's cove?" Jasmine asked once the conversation starts to die down.

I chuckled uncomfortably not knowing what to say. "Long story short, I grew up here and felt it was time to come back." Not a total lie.

"Where'd you use to live?" Bella asked excitedly.

"Oh, uhm, you know that the orphanage?" She nodded. "Around ther," I answered vaguely. If people hear about a woman name Lexie that lived at the orphanage, they'll start putting two and two together so vague answer it is.

"Oh my god. I grew up on the east side in one of the townhouses by the park," Bella responsded and I nodded remembering the area well enough.

Shade and Hunter grew up there. Both of their mothers were single and stripped to get by. I think they even worked here. The small townhouses are a bit ragged and could use some paint but it's neighborhood with a lot of families and single mothers so it was a relatively good place to grow up. We used to hang out there a lot. Shade's mother always baked us cookies. Well, she heated up bought cookies and pretended to have made them.

That woman really couldn't cook. Hunter8 mom could though. She made the most amazing stew. My heart aches at the memories and I chased them away before the girls noticed my dip in mood.

"Does the pack still run things?" I asked already knowing the answer but curious to hear about it. I need to know about the boys so I can avoid them and Mr. Rux.

"Yeah, Rux is still running this city. Though Ryder Rux hepls him now," Bella said eyes glinting at the mentioned of the son. "Him and his friends run a gym and bar on their own. Fronts for the gang business." She leans in lowering her voice.

Jasmine sighed her eyes drifting away. "They're so hot.. it's so sad they never come here." Thank fuck. I think to myself as Jasmine goes on. "They're like the avengers but tattooed and morally ambiguous."

Maddy leans in two and looks between us. "Allison, she's tall with short blonde hair you'll meet her soon, her ex accused her of cheating, which she hadn't, and hit her. She was on her way to work the next day when she ran into Shade. He saw her bruised face," Maddy breaks off and eyes the bruise around my eye before continuing. "He followed her here and put some iced on her eye. He didn't leave until she'd told him what happened. Same day, her ex runs from town with his tail between his legs never to return on pain death." She leans back into her chair. "They may be morally ambiguous but they're good men. Know how to treat a girl right." Maddy adds throwing pitying glances my way.

None of them ask about how I got the bruise, but I read on their expressions I can talk them if I need to. I give them smiles that reassures them I will if I need it. "Any of you know anymore who's in need of a roommate?" I wonder changing the subject. I've heard what I need about the boys. Talking about them more will make the ache in my chest worse.

Bella frowns before perking up. "We'll ask around but you're welcome to sleep on our couch until you find a place. It's really comfortable."

Jasmine nods and I figure they're living together.

"Thank you." I breathe. "You're life saver." They both smile warmly at me and follow Maddy as she ushers me in front of a vanity exclaiming at how the time flies by. Bella and Jasmine help with my hair, curling it in long flowing waves.

Maddy expertly covers up the bruises on my face and neck. She eyes the hand prints for a a moment before getting back to work. My face now looks alive and stunning. My gaunt cheeks have turned into high cheekbones and the dark circles under my eyes are gone making me look bright and healthy. The false lashes add some volume on my own and that cat eye make-up gives me a dark sultry look. My lips are painted red drawing focus to them

They've always been one of my best assets, naturally big plump. The red lipstick only enhances that.

The red bra pushes up my small breast to give them some plushiness and the matching thong sits perfectly over my hips accentuating my waist. I like my small chest but sometimes they need a little push. My ass however is fully capable to stand on its own. My thighs have always been thick and are now corded with muscle. Hips wide and around ass look glorious in this outfit. The red glittering heels are strapped onto my feet lengthening my kind of short legs. I'm 5'5 so I'm not exactly short but not tall either.

The girls lead me around backstage to place where we can see the entire clubbl that's quickly filling with people. It's a friday night and they expect every seat to be fiiled. Bella leaves us to start her shift. I watch as she works the pole effortlessly mesmerizing anyone who lays their eyes on her. Maddy points out the pole in the middle where I'll make my debut. The nerves start creeping in. It doesn't matter how big of small the venue is, I always get nervous right before I start dancing. Then I forget everything. This place is bigger than anywhere I've ever worked before making me more nervous than usual.

Maddy and Jasmine hype me up as they noticed that I'm in need of it. Their words make me relax a bit and walk on steady feet onto me relax a bit and walk on steady feet onto the stage. The beat of music takes over the drum of my heart. It sinks into my skin and flows through my veins as I start to move. I realized that I've missed this.

That I for the first time in years feel somewhat like myself again as I move under the spotlights. Forgetting everything except the movement of my body to the music that fills up every empty space inside me.