I kept my silence for the entire ride home and I guess that Charles took it as me being angry at him.

We didn’t speak, and for the first time, an awkward silence hung between us. There had been some instances when we just enjoyed each other’s company without anyone uttering a single word. This time, it was different.

“You were so sensible and kind before. I don’t know where the past Alicia had gone.” He heaved a sigh and his disappointed eyes met mine.

“I can assure you that she is just a little sister to me. Think about it, Alicia.” Charles threw a bag to the floor and left.

I stood rooted to the ground and my belief started to shake a bit because of his words. Was it him or me who had changed between us? How was I before everything had changed?

Things that have been happening since yesterday flooded my mind. Charles had been the one who jumped into the pool to save me. I was declared alright since he managed to bring me out of the water in time.

He had been the one who insisted on bringing me to the hospital. Although he couldn’t accompany me, he made me stay a bit longer there even though the attending doctor said that I was fine.

Charles reasoned that in case unknown complications arise, medical help was close to help me.

His words repeated repeatedly in my head, and I began to doubt myself.

I let out a sigh and decided that I need enough rest to think rationally.

It was a few hours later that I woke up feeling more refreshed. I thought about it and decided that I needed to be more positive and believe Charles once more.

After all, he had been my husband for more than five years and some misunderstanding will be solved if we could work on it later together. With a renewed perspective, I walked toward the kitchen.

I thought about it and decided to let him know that I was no longer angry. When I thought about it, he also must have been exhausted from all the ruckus yesterday, and on top of that, he still had to wake up early to prepare for my discharging process.

Charles wasn’t a picky eater, and he always ate whatever food I prepared for him, but there he still got a preference for spicy food. With a slight smile on my face, I began to busy myself with cooking a few dishes according to his preference.

It took me an entire afternoon to make all the dishes. As I set the table, I felt a bit satisfied, knowing that it was also a show of sincerity for him.

After everything was ready, I took a photo of it and sent it to him. Charles might still be busy working in the office, but I know that the message was successfully delivered.

[I will return home soon, wait for me.]

He answered fifteen minutes later, and after seeing his message, I patiently waited until I heard a car engine from outside the house.

I got up and walked over to the door. However, before I could open it, the door was pushed open from outside.

The figure walked in and I almost couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

Amanda bounced inside excitedly, and when she noticed me who was standing near the door, she joyously marched toward me.

“Thank you for inviting me for dinner, Alicia.” She took my hands and grasped them with a sincere attitude.

I took a deep breath inwardly and forced a smile, hoping that it didn’t look like I was grimacing. Or else anyone would have misunderstood that I didn’t like her presence here.

After all, it had happened before.

I quickly erased the negative thoughts from my mind and focused on the present event.

It didn’t take long for Charles to catch up and join us, and I led them toward the dinner table. I didn’t want any of them to notice what I was currently feeling, so I walked ahead, making them walk beside each other.

Somehow it made me feel more numb, though this tingling uncomfortable feeling governed my senses more.

I had remembered that I told Charles I wanted the dinner just for the two of us, but now he even brought Amanda along.

“Take a seat, Amanda.” I pulled the chair for her and Charles quickly took a seat beside Amanda.

I expressionlessly watched it all happening and then I took a seat across from them, right in front of Amanda, who just smiled at me.

“Thank you, Alicia. Your cooking looks delicious.” She said enthusiastically, and then turned to Charles, who was sitting beside her, making him quickly adjust his slightly stunned expression.

“Don’t you agree, Charles?”

He just nodded and not long after, we began to dig into our food.

“It’s a bit spicy…” Silence was broken when Amanda suddenly spoke. There was a grimace on her face and her countenance turned red, as if she was uncomfortable and pained.

She acted as if I poisoned the food.

“Here, drink this.” Charles handed her a glass of orange juice and she quickly gulped the whole content down.

“Thank you…” Amanda said after she recovered a bit, but her eyes looked wet as she said her next words in a soft tone. “Sorry, Alicia.”

Before I could respond, it was Charles who spoke first. “I forgot that you can’t eat spicy food.”

His eyes scrutinized the dishes on the table, probably looking for anything that wasn’t spicy, but of course, because I make them according to his preferences, there was none.

“You don’t need to be sorry.” Charles had a slight frown on his face.

To be honest, I knew that too many spicy dishes also weren’t good for the stomach, and thus the dishes I made weren’t that spicy, but I didn’t expect that she couldn’t swallow any spicy food at all.

I convinced myself that it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t invite her in the first place. Charles did.

“Ah,” Amanda let out a sigh as she stared at the dishes in front of her longing, and she sent me an apologetic look as Charles watched.

“Do you feel hungry? We can order a takeaway.” Charles suggested, and I instantly turned my head toward him, then lowered my eyes.

“But… Alicia has prepared all of this for us. We can’t waste her effort.” Amanda tried to convince Charles as she took another spoonful of the dish on the plate, but she ended up getting the same reaction as last time.

Her eyes slightly reddened, and she coughed.

“That’s enough. Don’t force yourself.” Charles scolded, but his tone was soft and it was clear that he wasn’t really angry. He rubbed her back.

“As Charles said, don’t force yourself.” I finally opened my mouth, smiling at her reassuringly. She seemed a bit at a loss at my reaction before she lowered her eyes, as if feeling guilty.

“Do you want to eat my cooking that much?” I asked her.

She peeked at me quietly before she tentatively nodded at my question. Her voice was soft, “Charles said that you are good at cooking, so I want to try it…”

Such behavior made it hard for one to suspect that she held any malice for people at all. She looked more like a girl who yearned for a simple thing that she could not gain, making one feel pity for her.

None would doubt her motive at all.

“I will cook something that isn’t spicy for you. Wait here.” I said kindly and then put the spoon down. Without waiting for any of them to respond, I swiftly headed toward the kitchen.

Luckily, there were still some ingredients left, and I quickly cooked something that was easy to make and passable in terms of taste.

I hadn’t eaten anything since this morning and I was quite eager to go back there and resume my dinner, so I picked anything that was quick to make.

After I finished, I returned to the dining room with the plate in my hand, still warm with the aroma wafted through the air.

However, the sight that greeted me was beyond my expectation. There they were, enjoying the dinner together as Amanda tried to feed a spoonful of roasted chicken to Charles, who accepted it just like that.

Amanda’s plate was already empty; it was unknown who had eaten that much food that had been piled on it. Charles also had finished his dinner, judging from his clean plate.

As soon as I appeared, they stopped what they were doing and looked at me.

I suddenly felt like I had interrupted a couple’s romantic dinner.

“Alicia…” Amanda whispered my name, and then she said shyly, “Thank you for cooking for me. It’s very kind of you.”

She glanced at Charles before she shifted her attention to me again. “I am sorry, but now I feel full. The one I tried earlier was the spiciest food, and um… Charles had picked some less spicy dishes for me.”

I stopped at the table as I put down the plate near her. She glanced at it and took a deep breath, then showering me with compliments. “It smells delicious. You are indeed good at cooking.”

Amanda looked apologetic as she said, “I would like to try it, but I have something urgent at the moment and I have to return home quickly. Sorry, Alicia. Thank you for the delicious dinner.”

I didn’t react much, but as sanity returned to my mind. I just waved it off and reassured her, “You can try another time. Be careful on the way home.”

Amanda nodded, and she stood up. At the same time, Charles also stood up.

“I am going to escort her back home. You don’t need to send us off. You should finish your dinner.” Charles said to her.

I almost couldn’t process entirely what he was saying. It was until they exited the door and silence reigned the entire room that his words sank in.

The food on the plate suddenly felt bitter, or was it my heart that was feeling it instead of my tongue?

I didn’t know when Charles returned home after he sent Amanda back to her house. After I finished dinner, I instantly went to bed to get some rest.

Upon waking up, Charles was still sleeping soundly. However, my rough movement might have woken him up too, since he was sleeping beside me.

I ignored him and went to the bathroom to take a bath, and after that I began my usual routine of making our meals.

Charles seemed to realize that I was angry. Usually, I would greet him with a kiss and a nice good morning, but my attitude was completely cold this time.

I could sense as he walked to the kitchen and drank the coffee I had prepared for him. He sat there for a while as he watched me busy myself in the kitchen.

It was unknown what had come after me, but I momentarily lost focus of what I was doing and blood instantly seeped through the wounds. I let out a pained hiss as I turn on the faucet and let the redness get washed away by water.

“Are you okay?” Charles instantly stood up.

I still didn’t pay him any attention.

Before I knew it, he had appeared beside me with a bandage he had taken from the upper shelves of the kitchen. He told me a bit sternly, “Sit down, let me see.”

The movement of my hand didn’t stop as I continued to cut the potato on the chopping board, ignoring the throbbing pain and slight blood that seeped out.

The action seemed to irritate Charles so much that he grabbed my hand, took the knife out of my hand, and then dragged me to sit on the nearby chair. He forced me to sit down impatiently and began to scrutinize my wound.

There was a slight frown on his face as he attentively dabbed antiseptic on it, making me hiss in pain that I pull my hand back.

“Patient, just a little more.” He said and watching him taking care of my wound. I fell into a slight daze.

“I will eat outside this time. You shouldn’t get water on your wound.”

As soon as I returned to my senses, he was already gone. I looked at the neatly bandaged wound on my hand with complicated eyes.

Charles was caring enough that he also ordered a takeaway for me before he left. I received it a few minutes after his departure, as if worrying that I might have continued my cooking activity with a wounded hand.

His action softened my heart. Well, if not for the notification that appeared on my phone screen not long after.

The sender was still the same person who would often send her picture with my husband almost every day. It almost became a habit some months ago.

Amanda and Charles were having breakfast together.

***

It made my feelings more complicated that, upon returning home and noticing that my mood was still not good, Charles had taken us to a night walk.

He still remembered my hobby when I needed to calm down.

“Tell me if you want to eat anything, or do you want to get a drink?” He asked as we walked side by side.

I shook my head, feeling that the chaotic thoughts in my head were cleared a bit. My mood also was slowly improving as I took deep breaths to get rid of the negative energy.

“Do you like it? Amanda suggested to me that I should take you to a place you like.”

My mood, which had gotten slightly better, I could feel it plummeting down at the mention of her.

“Oh?” I hummed coldly.

Charles, who was usually more quiet, began to ask me many questions, as if wanted to lift my mood further, but my mood had already sunk deep to the bottom of a well.

I replied to his questions half-heartedly, and he noticed it after a while. He stopped and seemed to think of what could have made me angry at him again.

Charles sighed, and he thought of something.

“How many times should I say to you that I only regard her as a little sister?”

“You can stop saying that from now on if you are tired.” I said coldly and took large strides forward.

Charles took a deep breath and followed me. It wasn’t long before he caught up to me and grabbed my hand, making me stop walking.

I tried to pull my hand out of his grip, to no avail. Glaring at him, I made it known how much frustration had been piled up on me lately because of him.

“Fine, I’ll tell you.” Charles said. “Please listen to me first.”

I stopped my movement and crossed my hands on my chest.

Seeing that I was finally willing to listen to him, he finally began. “You have to believe me. I have no other feelings besides brotherly affection for her.”

“You know that Amanda lost her brother a few months ago when he drowned in the sea…” He stopped, discerning my reaction before he continued, “Her brother was my best friend. I owe my life to him.”

“If it weren’t for him, I might not be standing here today, Alicia. He also lost a leg because he saved me…” He took a deep breath as if he was drowning in his guilt, and his next words echoed his pain in the silent night that rendered me unable to utter a single word back.

“I think… I think it was also my fault that drowned… if only he still had his other leg.”

We stood in the silence for what felt like a very long time.

I wanted to ask him, but as soon as I opened my mouth, the words stuck in my throat just like that. If it’s like that, why do you always make her a priority, then? It’s as if you always have to choose her over me?

Charles seemed to take my silence as an acquiescence that my anger had lessened, and we spent the night walking in quietness as thoughts occupied our minds.