The unfamiliar white walls greeted me as soon as I opened my eyes. The fact that I laid on a hospital bed alone couldn’t be more suffocating, or when I remembered that burning sensation as water entered my lungs.

I convinced myself to think positively and reached for my phone, eager to tell my husband, Charles, that I had woken up, yearning for his comforting presence.

Just as I was about to click on his profile, however, a message appeared on my screen. The finger slipped a bit, and the message was opened.

My finger hovered over the screen, too stunned to even think rationally. There was a picture of a young cheerful girl who was smiling happily at the camera. Beside her, a man was also smiling gently as he put a piece of dish on the girl’s plate considerately.

They certainly enjoyed their meal like a couple having a quality time together.

Charles, knowing that I nearly died from drowning, had chosen to accompany his best friend’s little sister to a meal over me.

I was a bit too distraught to notice the text that Amanda had sent along with that picture, but now my eyes fixated on her seemingly harmless words.

[Please get well soon, Alicia. I was so scared when I saw you drowning. Charles was so worried too that I had to persuade him to have his lunch so that he would feel better. He cares a lot about you!]

If it was before, I would have been easily fooled by her innocent personality, but now I know that it was all an act. She wasn’t so innocent. Ever since she appeared, my marriage life hasn’t been very peaceful.

***

It took an hour until Charles visited the hospital room I was residing in.

Charles’ smile that I had seen earlier in that picture was gone, his forehead marred with a frown.

I lowered my eyes, showing no indication that I knew what had transpired with him and Amanda while I laid unconscious here.

“I really don’t know what’s going on with you lately.” Frustration etched in his tone.

I stayed silent, and it seemed to provoke his anger further. He pursed his lips, and his words sounded sarcastic. “It makes you childish to be so competitive with a girl who is so much younger than you like that.”

This time, I looked up and gave him a wry smile. He obviously didn’t understand my feelings and instantly misinterpreted it that I felt sorry for what had happened.

He scratched his hair as he sighed and his tone softened, “You know that Amanda is good at swimming. You don’t need to feel bad about it. I can teach you how to swim later.”

I controlled the urge to scoff at his words. It was ridiculous of me that upon waking up; I think that he would comfort me like he used to do.

The way he said all of that, he sounded like a boyfriend proudly showing off his girlfriend. He didn’t even ask how I am feeling, his priority had shifted to Amanda.

“I am not interested in learning how to swim.” I said, and he looked a bit surprised.

“Edward told me that you jumped straight to the pool and you almost drowned, it’s normal to be a bit traumatized because of it…” He trailed off a bit before he continued, “But none can be an expert at something in a matter of a day.”

His words would have been encouraging, if only all that he had spoken was true. Me, jumping straight to the pool like an idiot while knowing it myself that I can’t swim?

I know that someone has pushed me.

Now, hearing Edward’s name coming out of his mouth. I didn’t know which one sounded more disappointing; Charles taking me for an idiot or Edward, his younger brother, who had unjustly said incorrect things about me.

“Edward said that I jumped straight to the pool?” I asked.

He looked at me weirdly. “Wasn’t it like that? You don’t need to lie about it or make other excuses.”

I stared at him for a few seconds. That condescending face of his was etched on my mind. I was disappointed by his cruel words. I know that even if I try to explain, he would believe none of it.

However, it also wasn’t the first time I was disappointed by him. Again and again, I told myself that he would revert back to that person who had given me warmth and security. Would there be a chance for him to be that person again?

The ringing of a phone broke my tunnel of thoughts. I looked up to him and we locked eyes for a few seconds before he first broke away the eye contact.

He let out a cough and then handed me a box of food. “You should so that you will get better soon.”

“Where are you going?” I asked, as he took his jacket from the table.

“Amanda left something in the car and she needs it tomorrow for her class.” Charles walked toward the door, leaving me alone in this room.

The burning sensation enveloped my whole body, and as I tried to draw a breath of air, I instantly felt even more tearing pain. I couldn’t catch my breath. It was as if the air was replaced by water.

I woke up, startled. Cold sweat dripped down to my neck. I just had a nightmare about drowning in that pool again.

It was such a relief to know that it was merely a nightmare, and I couldn’t help but take in as much air as I could until I calmed down.

I reached for my phone to check the time. It was nearly midnight. I was about to return the phone back to the table until a notification caught my attention.

Amanda had sent another picture, a jacket that I couldn’t be more familiar with. It was Charles’. That jacket was a gift for Amanda herself, and after he received that gift, he never wore the jacket that I had given him again.

[Alicia, please tell Charles that he left his jacket at my home. He will have none to wear later and the temperature is getting colder now.]

She could have contacted Charles directly. Why bother telling her? Of course, there was a hidden message.

The message was delivered less than thirty minutes ago, and Charles must have spent an entire afternoon until near midnight at her place.

[You can tell him yourself tomorrow]

I sent the message to her. The reply came less than a minute later.

[Of course, I will also tell Charles tomorrow. His phone was out of battery earlier. I am just telling you in case I forget later]

She was showing off how long the time they had spent together until he didn’t realize his phone was out of battery, right?

I felt slightly bitter, and the mood to continue this meaningless conversation was gone. In a case her goal had been achieved.

However, it seemed that Amanda wasn’t satisfied with just that.

[I am sorry, Alicia. Charles should have stayed at the hospital to take care of you, but he was helping me to cope with my trauma…]

I closed my eyes, tossing the phone to the table, and no longer bothered to read her other messages. Still, that night, sleep completely evaded me.

Tiredness had taken over my whole body, but I still forced myself to pack the remaining dirty clothes into the bag. Today, I am going to be discharged and Charles had specially taken permission from his boss to come late to the office.

The frown was still present on his face as soon as he laid his eyes on me. I glanced at him and continued to scroll through my phone.

“What’s the matter?” He asked out of the blue, then he stopped himself. As if he was restraining something, he kept silent during the entire process.

As soon as we got in the car, he opened his mouth again. “What’s wrong with you?”

I threw him a confused look, completely unable to understand his question. He sighed, and that was when I noticed he was getting more impatient with me lately.

“Are you mad at Amanda?” He started the car engine, pulling out of the hospital parking lot as he asked.

Ah, the little princess tattled again.

“Mad, why?” I continued to look at the moving trees outside the window.

“You didn’t answer her message, and she was worried she had offended you somehow.”

Amanda had become his priority the moment she came jumping into the middle of our marriage life.

“I forgot.” I said the first thing that came to my mind. When I saw that his frown was getting deeper, I knew that this reason wasn’t enough to convince him. “It was midnight when she texted me. I fell asleep and when the morning came, her messages were buried by other notifications.”

Charles seemed to find my explanation convincing enough; his frown was eased a bit, but he still told me, “Don’t forget to reply to her or she would get more anxious.”

I just nodded at that and I didn’t know what came over me that I blurted out my next words just like that, “You forgot your jacket at her place.”

His expression visibly froze at my words, and his shoulders seemed tense. He had told me that his boss wanted him to do overtime. Hence, the reason he couldn’t accompany me.

Now, he knew that I knew he spent his time at Amanda’s place instead.

“I am sorry.” He instantly apologized. “When I was about to leave, she wasn’t feeling well, so I had to accompany her. I didn’t mean to lie to you.”

I kept my silence for the entire ride home and I guess that Charles took it as me being angry at him.

We didn’t speak, and for the first time, an awkward silence hung between us. There had been some instances when we just enjoyed each other’s company without anyone uttering a single word. This time, it was different.

“You were so sensible and kind before. I don’t know where the past Alicia had gone.” He heaved a sigh and his disappointed eyes met mine.

“I can assure you that she is just a little sister to me. Think about it, Alicia.” Charles threw a bag to the floor and left.

I stood rooted to the ground and my belief started to shake a bit because of his words. Was it him or me who had changed between us? How was I before everything had changed?

Things that have been happening since yesterday flooded my mind. Charles had been the one who jumped into the pool to save me. I was declared alright since he managed to bring me out of the water in time.

He had been the one who insisted on bringing me to the hospital. Although he couldn’t accompany me, he made me stay a bit longer there even though the attending doctor said that I was fine.

Charles reasoned that in case unknown complications arise, medical help was close to help me.

His words repeated repeatedly in my head, and I began to doubt myself.

I let out a sigh and decided that I need enough rest to think rationally.

It was a few hours later that I woke up feeling more refreshed. I thought about it and decided that I needed to be more positive and believe Charles once more.

After all, he had been my husband for more than five years and some misunderstanding will be solved if we could work on it later together. With a renewed perspective, I walked toward the kitchen.

I thought about it and decided to let him know that I was no longer angry. When I thought about it, he also must have been exhausted from all the ruckus yesterday, and on top of that, he still had to wake up early to prepare for my discharging process.

Charles wasn’t a picky eater, and he always ate whatever food I prepared for him, but there he still got a preference for spicy food. With a slight smile on my face, I began to busy myself with cooking a few dishes according to his preference.

It took me an entire afternoon to make all the dishes. As I set the table, I felt a bit satisfied, knowing that it was also a show of sincerity for him.

After everything was ready, I took a photo of it and sent it to him. Charles might still be busy working in the office, but I know that the message was successfully delivered.

[I will return home soon, wait for me.]

He answered fifteen minutes later, and after seeing his message, I patiently waited until I heard a car engine from outside the house.

I got up and walked over to the door. However, before I could open it, the door was pushed open from outside.

The figure walked in and I almost couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

Amanda bounced inside excitedly, and when she noticed me who was standing near the door, she joyously marched toward me.

“Thank you for inviting me for dinner, Alicia.” She took my hands and grasped them with a sincere attitude.

I took a deep breath inwardly and forced a smile, hoping that it didn’t look like I was grimacing. Or else anyone would have misunderstood that I didn’t like her presence here.

After all, it had happened before.

I quickly erased the negative thoughts from my mind and focused on the present event.

It didn’t take long for Charles to catch up and join us, and I led them toward the dinner table. I didn’t want any of them to notice what I was currently feeling, so I walked ahead, making them walk beside each other.

Somehow it made me feel more numb, though this tingling uncomfortable feeling governed my senses more.

I had remembered that I told Charles I wanted the dinner just for the two of us, but now he even brought Amanda along.

“Take a seat, Amanda.” I pulled the chair for her and Charles quickly took a seat beside Amanda.

I expressionlessly watched it all happening and then I took a seat across from them, right in front of Amanda, who just smiled at me.

“Thank you, Alicia. Your cooking looks delicious.” She said enthusiastically, and then turned to Charles, who was sitting beside her, making him quickly adjust his slightly stunned expression.

“Don’t you agree, Charles?”

He just nodded and not long after, we began to dig into our food.

“It’s a bit spicy…” Silence was broken when Amanda suddenly spoke. There was a grimace on her face and her countenance turned red, as if she was uncomfortable and pained.