Passing Love: I will Wander, Looking for Beauty

I got an unexpected message from Gavin Haynes asking me to deliver a USB drive to him. I hadn't even had lunch, and there I was, taking two different subway lines under the scorching midday sun to reach the conference venue. When I arrived, I couldn't get in. The security guard kept explaining that only attendees with an invitation could enter. Frustrated, I paced outside the entrance, waiting for Gavin. After half an hour, I still hadn't seen him, but Helen Jacobs, his colleague, showed up instead.

"I have the files Gavin needed. I sent them to him earlier. He didn't tell you?" she asked, looking slightly annoyed.

As I glanced at the screen showing Gavin's presentation inside, I felt a bit foolish. Helen's impatient expression made it clear I wasn't needed.

"Do you have any other business here?" she asked.

"No, nothing else," I replied coolly.

I guess there won't be anything more between us after today.

***

Pittsburgh summers are notoriously hot, and after all the running around, I was drenched in sweat. The security guard, noticing my discomfort, kindly moved a fan closer to me.

"I'm not trying to keep you out, miss," he explained sympathetically. "It's just that the rules require an invitation."

I nodded, not really listening. My focus was on the live feed of the conference, where Gavin was confidently presenting his research. His achievements were impressive—studying at an Ivy League university, publishing in top journals, and securing a position as an associate professor at the University of Pittsburgh immediately upon his return.

The security guard asked, "You know that person up there?"

I hesitated. "He's a friend."

"Wow, you must be a really good friend," he remarked.

I forced a smile. He was supposed to be my fiancé, but given the circumstances, I couldn't bring myself to say it.

Skipping lunch to bring him the USB drive left me feeling light-headed and more exhausted. Sweat was pouring down my face in large beads. I couldn't tell if it was from the heat or hunger. I took the security guard's advice to sit down and take a break. When I was about to leave, the conference doors suddenly opened, and a crowd of people began to file out, Gavin among them. I tried to blend into the background, but Helen's voice cut through the noise.

"Kyra, you're still here?"

Her shout drew everyone's attention to me. My disheveled appearance—hair hastily tied up, wearing a T-shirt and shorts, and sweaty—made me feel even more out of place compared to the well-dressed crowd. Gavin's glance at me was tinged with a hint of disdain.

"I brought the files you needed," I said quietly.

After briefly greeting the people around him, Gavin pulled me aside. "Why are you here?" he asked, surprising me with his first words.

"You asked me to bring the USB drive. You said it was important and that you'd need it urgently," I replied.

He frowned slightly as he took the USB drive from my hand, which had warmed from being held tightly. "Alright, I've got it. You can go now," he said dismissively. His reaction left me so stunned that I didn't even know how to be angry. As he was called back inside by a colleague, I turned to leave.

Just then, I overheard someone teasing Gavin, "Mr. Haynes, is that your girlfriend?"

"She must be your fiancée, right? You're getting married next month!"

I paused, curious about his response. After a moment of silence, Gavin replied, "There are some research projects that exist only to fulfill a requirement, with no real significance of their own. That's what my marriage is like—just something I have to do."