At our college reunion, I let slip about the three great catches I was dating online.

One ran a successful law firm, the other was a researcher at a leading institute, while another was an up-and-coming tech mogul on the Forbes list.

My so-called best friend, Cassie Young, paused halfway through her plate of ribs. Giving me the side glance, she voiced her sarcasm.

“I feel sorry for your future husband. Of all the women he could have, he had to marry someone with a rich history.”

I took a sip of my juice and responded, “Honestly, I’m pretty stressed about the whole thing. They are all amazing. I can’t decide between them. Cassie, does anyone tickle your fancy? You can have one.”

As her cutlery clattered on the table, Cassie widened her eyes.

“A-Are you for real?”

As Cassie Young’s mind went blank, a barrage of comments burst across an interface feed midair.

[Holy cow! Has the side character lost it? She’s basically giving away three elite boyfriends to our heroine!]

[Don’t hesitate, girl! This is a godsend. Cassie will be set for life just by snagging one of them. No wonder Poppy Stait’s the extra. She doesn’t know what she’s throwing away.]

By the sparkle in Cassie’s eyes, it was clear that she was hooked on the offer. Still, she stared at me warily.

“Let’s get one thing straight. Once you hand these guys over, they are mine to keep. No take-backs!”

“Duh.”

I nodded and smiled harmlessly.

“You’re my best friend. It wouldn’t feel right to keep all the good things to myself.

“Relax. I’ve met the tech guy, but the other two don’t even know what I look like. Just keep your story straight, and everything’s golden.

“The question is—who are you picking?”

[Talk about the dilemma of the century. How do you choose between a legal heartthrob, a research titan, and a billionaire CEO?

[Why choose? Cassie is the heroine. With her main character's privileges, she can sweep them off their feet.”

Cassie licked her lips, her eyes gleaming with greed.

“Why should I settle for one? I want all three of your boyfriends.

“You have plenty going on for you anyway, Poppy. It’s not like you’re short of options.”

Her answer didn’t surprise me in the slightest. With a smile, I held out an open palm to Cassie.

“Sure. That’ll be a million bucks for each. Are you paying my commission by card or cash?”

Startled, Cassie turned ashen.

“I thought we were besties. Why are you asking for money?”

“It’s better to keep things clear even between friends. I mean, I invested a lot of time and effort into vetting and bonding with these guys.”

I pouted as if my feelings were hurt. “If you believe I’m asking for too much, let’s just forget the whole thing. I’d hate for money to come between us.”

“No, it’s not that. A million dollars is a lot of money. Where on earth am I going to find that kind of money?”

Before Cassie could get another word out, the bullet chat jumped in with advice.

[Don’t be silly, girl! It’s just a million. Sell your property, and you’re good. You’re going to regret it if you let those billionaires slip through your fingers!]

[The side character is just a bimbo. Her looks are the only thing she has going for her. She thinks she’s making a killing, but the three guys are the main characters. They are worth way more. Just wait until she realizes what she lost!]

[Can’t wait for our baby girl to bag all three of them and come back to humiliate the side character.]

Cassie stared at the virtual screen with a deluded smile as if the fantasy was within reach.

“Fine! You’ll get the money.

“I’ll get the funds. Make sure you hold onto them. Don't give them away to someone else.”

After much thought, Cassie added with a straight face. “And stay in your lane. Keep your hands off my future husbands. I don’t want something that’s already been around!”

I let out a snicker and nodded earnestly.

“Don’t worry. They are all untouched.”

…

Caught in the temptation of hot hunks and wealth, Cassie pulled together a million bucks in just three days.

With the funds hitting my account, I graciously pulled up the social media profiles of the three boyfriends and asked Cassie which one she’d like to begin with.

After much consideration, Cassie chose to unlock Camden Forest, a young scientific prodigy.

“I’ll go with him. He’s like the boy-next-door type, very approachable. I should get him wrapped around my finger in no time.”

I smiled at her comment before cutting to the chase.

“Camden Forest, age 27. He holds four PhDs from the world’s most elite universities. He’s employed at a top research institute, with a senior-level role and full government perks.

“I got to know him through a forum for exotic plants. Beyond science, plants are pretty much his hobby. That was pretty much my way in.

“I’m the type who can’t even keep a cactus alive, but I put in the work to learn the lingo. I’ll send you my cheat sheet. Read it, learn it, and memorize every little detail by heart.”

Cassie’s jaw dropped as I forwarded 200 gigabytes of botanical study notes.

“He’s a perfectionist at work, ultra-efficient. In private, though, he’s sarcastic and intense. He has zero tolerance for stupidity, even if he won’t admit it.

“You should be confident in front of him, but play it coy a little. A touch of cluelessness works like a charm. Don’t overdo it.

“Oh, and he’s severely allergic to cats.”

After passing over all the files on Camden, I went over our daily interactions, nicknames, and special milestones before flashing Cassie an encouraging smile.

“That’s pretty much everything. Good luck. You’ve got this.”

[Not going to lie. Poppy knows her stuff when it comes to men. 200GB of notes? It should take more than a month to go through the whole thing.]

[Poppy’s only working hard because she’s there for support. She’s no main character. She has to cram just to earn the tiniest favor. Cassie is born to be the heroine. She doesn’t need to try for these male leads to fall head over heels in love with her.]

Cassie stared at the folder with a scowl, but her face beamed at the comments.

She held her phone and deleted the data right in my face.

“Poppy, save your idiot’s guide to yourself. It’s not for me.

“Watch and learn. I’ll have Camden under my spell. He’ll be smitten with me, even if all I do is talk about SpongeBob SquarePants.”

Not the least bit upset, I smiled brightly.

“Good luck to you.

“Just a heads-up. The deal is final. Whatever happens, I don’t accept refunds or returns.”

Cassie scoffed.

“I’m not going to change my mind. I hope you don’t either.”

She logged into my alternative account and threw herself into chatting up Camden.

At a get-together a week later, Cassie was eager to show off her necklace.

“Isn’t it pretty? It’s Van Cleef & Arpels’ newest floral collection. This piece alone is worth eight million bucks.

“All I did was mention it to Camden when I saw the piece in the ad. He bought me the necklace right away.”

While she bragged, her eyes locked onto me as I was knee-deep in a book. Cassie raised a question, not keeping her voice down.

“That reminds me, Poppy. You were with Camden for quite a while. Did he ever get you anything?”

…

I fell into contemplation.

“Let’s see… A pressed-leaf bookmark, a book on flora he authored that retails about 29 bucks, and a rose pin he made himself.”

“That’s it?”

Cassie’s grin couldn’t be wider.

“That’s not even a fraction of what my diamond necklace is worth. Talk about a total failure. Your study notes came to nothing.”

I smiled without another word.

Displeased with my composure, Cassie leaned closer to rub it in even more.

“He was still a cynical jerk to you even after you memorized all that information. Meanwhile, I take control of the conversation and ramble on about some celebrity gossip. He soaked it up anyway. He thinks I’m the cutest thing ever!

“Whoever said that a man of science wasn’t romantic. It’s clear who he cares about.”

Cassie smirked in delight and stared down at me with pity.

“Oops, here I go again with my big, fat mouth.

“Don’t take my remarks to heart, Poppy. Please don’t be upset.”

I wasn’t offended. I had kept Camden around the longest, but he was also the one who barely had my attention.

It all started when we crossed paths on a plant enthusiast message board.

That day, I shared a picture of a wilting plant, asking for help. Camden, his username a default numeric ID, pinpointed the exact coordinates of my dorm just from the angle of the sunlight. He proceeded to provide me with ultra-detailed guidance on plant care.

I tried adding him and even had a drink sent over as a thank-you, but he turned me down callously.

“I’m sorry, but my time is far too valuable to waste on meaningless people and things.”

My lips curled in disdain.

I snapped a shot of the plant, candidly framing the glass reflection to catch my curves before hitting the send button.

“But professor, I’d love to pick your brain on botany sometime…”

It took Camden three seconds to accept my friend request.

His social media profile wasn’t public, complete with a default avatar for a profile picture. His entire profile didn’t show much of human life.

However, I managed to trace who he was through a single like on a video he left three months ago.

Camden’s comment on the video, simply calling it “decent”, racked up tens of thousands of likes and countless replies.

“Oh, man! It’s Camden in the flesh!”

“First here to comment! I want to screenshot this moment!”

“I’d give up salt in my food for a decade just for a chance for Camden to review my project.”

A quick search revealed Camden’s information to me. His long list of prestigious achievements nearly blinded me in the dark.

From that day on, I channeled the same energy I had for my SATs, grinding and committing to volumes of botanical facts.

I’d flex my knowledge on botanical trivia while we talked online.

Of course, there were the occasional thirst-trap photos I would drop here and there. I made sure not to show my face, just giving out the vibes.

Six months later, the cynical closeted romantic dropped his holy act and was eager to lock me down.

Amused, I asked him in a feigned vulnerable voice, “But what if I’m ugly? What if my looks make you hurl for a week straight?”

Here I thought he’d play nice and say that looks didn’t matter in the dark, but he shot back a reply without a second thought.