I'd been in love with Tanner for five years, making him the center of my universe. But after he denied our relationship for the hundredth time, I decided it was time to let go. I stopped asking him to bring me to his friends' gatherings and, as he wanted, gave up my role as his secretary to his childhood friend and quit the job. I even sent our engagement dress to the woman he truly considered his fiancée. When he erupted in anger, I quietly responded, "Mr. Fox, we're just regular friends."

Tanner’s past words were like a boomerang, now hitting him hard, while I learned that loving myself was more important than loving anyone else, and I wouldn’t look back.

Walking down the deserted street in my four-inch heels, my mind was a haze. I didn’t see the bicycle coming until it knocked me to the ground. My knee was scraped, and the new shoes blistered my feet. The cyclist quickly jumped off, helping me to a nearby bench.

He asked kindly if I needed a ride to the hospital. Snapping back to reality, I shook my head lightly. "No need, I’m fine." My real wounds were internal, where my heart was bleeding.

Not quite convinced, the cyclist left me thirty dollars and his phone number before departing. I couldn’t help but smirk at the irony: a stranger showing me more concern than my fiancé ever did.

Today was Tanner’s thirtieth birthday and also marked the fifth anniversary of our relationship. Trying to impress him, I wore the dress and heels he liked, eagerly hoping he’d introduce me to his friends as his fiancée. Instead, I heard him dismissively say, "Lydia and I are just friends, don’t start rumors!"

In two weeks, we were supposed to be engaged. Yet, to everyone else, I was still just a “friend.” It was the hundredth time he’d refused to acknowledge me publicly. Feeling worn out, I claimed “not feeling well” as an excuse and left the room.

Tanner quickly followed, not to apologize but to scold me for embarrassing him in front of his friends. I looked at him seriously and asked, “Tanner, we’re about to get engaged. Why won’t you publicly acknowledge me as your girlfriend?”

A flicker of guilt crossed his eyes before he regained his composure. “It’s just a label. Why are you so hung up on it? Haven’t things been fine these past five years? Once we’re engaged, everyone will know anyway. Don’t be so petty!”

I chuckled inwardly. As his girlfriend and fiancée, all I wanted was for him to acknowledge my role in his life. To him, it was being petty. I knew too well his reluctance stemmed from his feelings for Amaia, his childhood friend. But I was too drained to call him out anymore.

“You should get back; your friends are waiting. I’ll head home since I’m feeling off.” Tanner, annoyed, raised his voice: “I left my friends to follow you, and you keep acting out! It’s just not acknowledging you—why make it a big deal? If you were as understanding as Amaia, I'd have announced us ages ago!”

“Since you’re leaving, I won’t stop you. Go home and think about it; I need to decide if we should go through with this engagement.” With that, he angrily jerked his hand away and returned to the room. His words cut me like a knife, making it hard to breathe.

Before, seeing Tanner angry would have prompted me to soothe him despite any hurt. But this time, I was completely worn out. The dress I wore, the heels, even my hairstyle, were all for him. Was Tanner really worth losing myself over?

I stood still for a long while, my palm bearing the marks of clenched nails. Yet stubbornly, I did not return to the room. As I stepped out of the hotel, a text message appeared on my phone:

[Lydia, did Tanner fail to acknowledge your relationship again today? I’m telling you, as long as I disagree, you’ll remain his secret girlfriend!]

This wasn’t the first time Amaia had texted to provoke me. Each time, my heart would ache. I showed Tanner these messages before. But he accused me of misinterpreting Amaia’s words with a petty mind. Although they were childhood friends, I had known him for nearly a decade and been with him for five years.

From the moment I saw Tanner, I was captivated, convinced he was the man I’d marry. To please him, I wore dresses and makeup I didn't care for, styled my hair to his liking. Anything he wanted, I pretended to enjoy despite my disdain.

I did everything to win Tanner over, and gradually he warmed to me. I thought I was close to becoming his girlfriend, but then Amaia returned from a long trip. Though Tanner treated me decently, his feelings for Amaia were a different story.

I realized Tanner’s true affection lay with Amaia. Just when I was ready to give up chasing him, he suddenly confessed to me. Yet he never admitted our relationship publicly, while he could attend Amaia’s family gatherings as her boyfriend. That’s the difference between love and indifference.

What puzzled me was why Tanner, clearly fond of Amaia, chose to be with me. I sat on the bench for a long time, deep in thought. The phone rang, and a glimmer of hope rose—maybe Tanner was calling. But it was Samira, my friend. She thought I hadn’t arrived at the hotel yet and asked if I needed a lift. I told her I had already been there and left early.

She was surprised. “What? Why leave Tanner’s party so soon? Had you planned some secret surprise?”

I instinctively replied, “No, I just broke up with him.” On the other end, there was silence, then shock: “Tanner, that jerk, ditched you today. See if I…”

I quickly cut her off, “I was the one who broke it off.”

Her outrage halted; she seemed stunned by my words. Everyone knew how I had pursued Tanner all these years, clinging to him for five years just to make him mine. I’d pick him up drunk at night, devotedly clean, do laundry, and cook for him.

His friends often joked I was his devoted follower. Tanner would nonchalantly say, “It’s her choice. I never forced her.” I felt hurt hearing this but believed my devotion would eventually win him over.

Reality was a harsh teacher; Tanner’s heart would never be mine. After ending the call, I removed my high heels and tossed them in the trash, along with my feelings for Tanner.

I hailed a cab back to Tanner’s apartment and started packing my things. Midway, one of Tanner’s friends called: “Lydia, Tanner’s drunk. Can you come pick him up?”

Due to Tanner’s refusal to acknowledge me, even though everyone knew the truth, no one called me “sis-in-law.” They only referred to Amaia that way.

For example, I overheard someone say: “Sis-in-law, Tanner’s drunk, and he’s been calling your name! Shows how deeply he cares for you.” Then Amaia’s shy voice responded, “Don’t be silly; you must have heard wrong.”

I paused, then spoke slowly: “Isn’t your ‘sis-in-law’ with him? Why ask a friend like me to pick him up?”

The person on the other end of the call seemed momentarily taken aback, unsure how to respond. My reputation for being a pushover must have been well-known, and they hadn't expected me to refuse.

"If there's nothing else, I'll hang up now." I didn't give them a chance to reply and ended the call.

But not long after, my phone rang again. This time, it was Amaia Ellis calling. After hesitating for a moment, I answered.

Amaia's voice was clear and direct: "Tanner, Lydia seems genuinely upset this time. You should hurry back and patch things up with her."

Then, Tanner's voice came through, surprisingly sober: "Patch things up? Everybody calls her my doormat. Does a doormat need comforting?"

"This isn't the first time she's thrown a fit. By tomorrow, she'll be back, following me as always."

The call ended there. Even if I were naive, I understood the real purpose behind Amaia's call. I had to admit, her goal was achieved. Even though I had resolved to leave Tanner behind, his words still stung deeply.

During our five years together, I had devoted myself to caring for him, only to discover that he saw my dedication as nothing more than a given. If there had been any lingering hesitation or doubt about breaking up before, this call made everything crystal clear: Tanner wasn't worth it.

Tanner didn't come home that night, nor did I call him. Early the next morning, I packed my suitcase and left his apartment.

Before searching for a new place to live, I went to Tanner's office first. To better care for him, I had become his personal assistant right after graduating from college. I managed both his work and personal life seamlessly. But when Amaia returned, he wanted me to give up my position to her. I flatly refused, and he reluctantly dropped the issue.

Now, it was time to give up that position. With my resignation letter in hand, I approached his office. The door was slightly open, and I could clearly hear the conversation inside:

"Ramos, you didn’t come home last night; Lydia must be hurt."

"Her pain brings you joy, doesn’t it? My disregard for her is all because of you!"

"If you weren't so mesmerizing, Amaia, I might have given her a second chance."

"If it wasn't to entertain you, I'd never have led her on."

Then came the unmistakable sound of a passionate kiss. I stopped in my tracks outside the door, tears instantly welling up in my eyes. I crumpled the resignation letter in my hand.

What I considered heartfelt devotion was nothing more than a game for them! No wonder Tanner was so apathetic and indifferent when he confessed to me. I had been so caught up in the unexpected happiness that I completely ignored his unusual behavior.

I wiped away my tears without entering the room. Instead, I attached my resignation letter to Tanner’s office door, then left the company without a second thought.

I found myself a new apartment in record time, then cleaned and moved in all in one go. After finishing everything, I collapsed onto the sofa.

When I checked my phone, I saw that Tanner had called me over a dozen times. I was deleting all the call records when his call came through again.

"Lydia, I've called you so many times. Why didn't you answer? What's the deal with the resignation letter?"

"We’re about to get engaged; what exactly are you trying to pull?"

"I'm really upset right now; if you keep this up, it’ll be over between us."

In the past, I would have started comforting him, saying anything to make him happy. But now, I replied coolly:

"Isn't it what you've always wanted—for Amaia to be your personal assistant? I'm voluntarily stepping down; you should be thrilled!"

Tanner laughed bitterly: "Indeed, I'm very happy now. Just make sure you don't regret it later and come crawling back to me."

I chuckled softly and said, "Don't worry; I won't be bothering you again."

With that, I hung up the phone decisively.