Back then, Mother happily clapped and praised, "This is just right. Belle has these gambling debts to pay off. This man only needs someone to spend the night to repay the debts. You, Celine, came back just in time. You can't blame me for being cruel; it's just a coincidence."

I felt powerless. I pressed the emergency alarm button with my weak hand.

The man with a mouthful of yellow teeth pressed me on the bed. He pinched my neck and tore my clothes.

I cried as I felt suffocated.

The moment the police broke through the door, I felt sheer hopelessness when I saw the horror in my parents' eyes.

From that day onward, my sister had a husband. Me? I was taken to the psychologist for treatment and forgot most of the things that happened. I only remembered that I wished for my parents to love me.

Mother started to feel righteous after making sure I'd lost my memory. She no longer felt guilty for what she did.

For example, when my sister wanted some pears, and there were two left. Both of the pears would be kept for her while I would not get any. The only thing I got was my mother saying, "I'll buy them for you someday, you rascal."

However, she did not know that I regained my memory after a car accident. My parents were still plotting against me.

"I remember everything now. Are you happy about it?" I asked softly. "You said you wanted me to stay. The truth is, you wanted to sell me off to the creditors to pay off Belle's gambling debts.

"You're going away with Belle right after she gets married, but you're still expecting me to care for you in your old age. Am I just trash to you?"

Mother's eyes widened in fear. She shook her head nervously. "No! I am your mother; there's no doubt that I love you. It's just that your sister isn't doing as well as you, so we must help her."

I nodded. "Well, I'll be fired from my job soon, so please help me too. Have Belle take care of you here, and clean up your mess in the hospital."

Mother glared at me. "That's all in the past. Why must you treat your parents like enemies? When have I been unfair to you for your whole life?"

Frankly, they had always been unfair to me. I was older than Belle, but all my clothes were hand-me-downs from Belle.

The dress was obviously too short, but Mother was complimented for being a good mother due to the good material that the dress was made from.

Mother would record that in my blue notebook.

"At six years old, I spent forty-five dollars to buy Celine a dress. You must repay me when you grow up."

I only wore some old clothes passed down to me. Belle would enjoy only the good ones while I had to bear the bad ones. All that, and I would be the one responsible for the expenses.

I was just an extra to them when they had some love to spare.

Father bent down and stared at me. "Don't bother coming back if you leave now!

"What an ungrateful wretch! We were just testing you, asking you to take care of us in our old age. How dare you say something like this?!"

"Fine." I nodded with a wry smile. "After all, I am just a money-making machine to you."

I could not help but spit out a mouthful of blood the moment I slammed the door and went out. I collapsed against the wall and cried bitterly.

I then heard Father smash a cup to the ground. He then said, sounding relieved, "We're lucky Celine didn't turn the pages to the back of the notebook. If she had turned the pages further, she would've found out that this was also the notebook where we recorded Belle's wedding gift. I really don't know what she'd do if she found out."

My feelings were crushed into pieces again. It turned out that I was just a joke to them.

Why?

Those few words made me realize my childhood was just a joke.

When I, the unloved child, found the blue notebook, our relatives asked Mother about it. Mother said it was a notebook to record items her elder daughter loved.

I genuinely thought I was loved. Just because of that illusory love, I would give my mother 80% of my earnings each month.

I could not help but sit near the door and listen.

Mother seemed to be crying as she flipped through the notebook, "You're right about that. There have been two notebooks since the beginning—one to record Belle's favorite things, and another to record Belle's wedding gift.

"I thought of asking Celine to return the money we spent on her to us. That'll form part of Belle's wedding gift later."

It was gut-wrenching. I spat out blood yet again.

Not only was there no notebook to record my favorite things, but the notebook that recorded my expenses was, all along, Belle's wedding gift planning records.

My parents had been planning for me to prepare Belle’s wedding gift.

I looked at my mother's text message.

[I'm paying special attention to Belle as I've got nothing to worry about when it comes to you. I've loved you since you were little.]

Love?

The blue notebook crushed my heart as my heart roared with me, 'Recording my expenses to gain back the other daughter's wedding gift is what you call love?'

…

I smiled and stroked my pet chicken, Chester, when I got home.

"Chester, you're the one that loves me the most. Grandmother gave you to me, and you love me just like she did."

Belle's text messages started flowing in at that moment.

[Celine, how can you talk back to Mother and Father? They loved you so much! They bought you branded clothes when you were a child, too. All of our neighbors knew about that.]

I called her back immediately, trying my best to suppress my anger as I said, "Don't you know those branded clothes I wore were all your hand-me-downs? Whose child would always be wearing clothes too small for them?"

Belle audibly choked before she retorted, "Weren't we poor at that time? You can't just deny their love for you because of that. Listen to me: apologize to Mother now.

"By the way, Celine, I'm short of money for my wedding. Can you give me four thousand dollars?"

I laughed in anger.

While still on call, I pulled out one of her social media accounts she actively used.

Her latest post stated, [I wish to get my mother a gold bracelet. I'll have that stupid sister of mine pay for it. No one loves her anyway.]

Belle acted differently on her social media account. It turned out that was her true self, knowing she was the main beneficiary of the entire situation.

"Belle, I know the truth about the blue notebook. You've known about it for a long time ago, no? It was never a notebook to record my favorite items."

Belle panicked. "What do you mean?"

I continued, "Mother wanted me to marry someone locally. You're planning to go away with them after your wedding, but leave them to me to take care of in their older age." I could no longer hold back my tears as I growled, "How, Belle, can you be so selfish?!"

"It's not me! Mother and Father want to live with me. It's tradition for the eldest daughter to take care of the parents. I won't take this task away from you." Belle sounded so righteous and confident as she spoke.

I mockingly asked, "Tell me then, when Mother sent my ex-boyfriend onto your bed, did you two plan it together?"

Belle hung up the call abruptly as I continued to browse the posts on Belle's social media account. I took note of everything piece by piece. All of those were proof of what they had done.

I felt so numb that I could not feel the excruciating pain in my heart. I would only be torturing myself if I continue to read her posts.

I sent Belle a message.

[By the way, I won't be returning. It's now your turn to take care of them and pick up their mess.]

Belle was furious as she yelled, "What's wrong with the eldest daughter taking care of her parents at their old age?! You can't just pick on me because our parents feel sorry for me and want to live with me for a while!"

I sneered and refused to reply.

I lit up the essential aroma ointment and fell asleep.

In my dream, my late grandmother held my hand and said distressingly, "Dear Celine, don't cry. I've saved enough money for you to further your education. I love you the most."

Tears unconsciously flowed down my face.

…

Yes. Belle, down the line, felt that I was annoying her, so my parents sent me away to Grandmother.

When Grandma saw me, she didn't care if I was pretty or ugly. She just said, "Celine looks just like me."

The money for my further education all came from the money Grandmother saved little by little. The money my parents earned would be kept for Bell.

After completing my further education, I was kept locally with them, begging for them to love me. What did I get? I was ridiculed by Belle, the main beneficiary in the entire ordeal.

I was raised by Grandmother with love. Why should I be treated so unfairly?

I got up the next morning and headed straight back to the office to report to work and cancel all my leave.

My manager, Fanny, patted my shoulder and smiled with relief. "You're the most important thing to yourself. Your family doesn't support you or love you, so you have to love yourself more."

I held back my tears and nodded vehemently. I failed in my family relationships but succeeded in my career.

After working endlessly over a few nights, I got promoted.

Mother's call came out of the blue, and her words were sugar-sweet. "Celine, why didn't you come visit? I miss your cooking. Come and visit me, you know well you're the only person I like."

After hurting me so badly, Mother tried to mend my broken heart.

I sneered, "But Mother, I've taken care of you for such a long time. Didn't Belle come to take care of you?"

"What are you talking about? Isn't Belle going to get married soon? Parents will always wish their children well," she whispered softly, as if that were some intimate conversation between mother and daughter.

I did not care about it.

"Mother, I have to earn a living too. I have to go to work. Belle, on the other hand, isn't working as she's getting married soon, so it's just right that she's there to take care of you, who loves her so much."

Bang! The sound of a loud kicking in the cabinet was heard.

I smirked.

"Celine, that is your mother. You owe her! We raised you!" Father roared. He could not help but gasp, "How could you be so ungrateful—"

"What about you all scheming against me for so long?" I interrupted. "What does that mean?"

Was it my retribution?

However, Father refused to give in.

"In that case, you have to pay me back for all the money we have spent on you since you were a child! Let me remind you that I recorded the money spent clearly."

They finally revealed their ultimate objective.

My hands were shaking, and at that point, my anger seemed pathetic.

"Fine, but don't forget Grandmother partly raised me. Don't record her supply on your blue notebook. Don't go claiming things like I took care of you when Belle didn't bother showing up back then, but I owe you four hundred fifty dollars."

Slap!

The phone was snatched away, and Mother's anxious voice was heard. "My child, Father was just joking with you! How could he do this to you?"

She was a good actor, I would give her that. However, I remembered how she asked me to pay back the money when we were at the hospital earlier, so she could leave without any further worries. They would all leave together with Belle after she got married.

"Call me once you're done calculating my debt. We can sever our relationship then."

I said nothing else. There was nothing else I could say anyway.

After hanging up the call, I thought back to the time when I was a child, and I had felt so sad when Mother was always abused by Father.

How did things get to this point?

I felt so sorry for Mother, yet she transferred the pain to me and gave her heart to Belle.

I heard that Mother did not manage to get Belle to visit and take care of her in the end.

She instead went on to hire a nurse to take care of her. Of course, the money spent was recorded in my blue notebook again.

I laughed bitterly.

That was who Mother was to me. All she would do was to calculate the money spent and get me to repay them.

From this moment onward, I just wanted to wait for them to settle the debt they claimed I owed, and sever our relationship completely. I did not want to be blackmailed by them again.

A few days later, I returned home and realized my chicken ​​was missing. I could hardly stand straight; fear and panic filled every cell in my body.

I was trembling when I was planning to check the surveillance. Suddenly, I remembered something.

The only person except me who knew the password to my house's main door was Mother.

I saw this coming, I did, but fury still took me entirely. They were petty enough to even involve a chicken!

I immediately rang Mother's phone, my hands trembling. My heart was filled with hatred.

"Mother, where's my chicken?"

My voice sounded coarse as my heart ached, unable to raise my voice any more than that. The call was silent at the other end of the call.

Mother then complained and accused me, "Not only do you not call me regularly, but you also refused to care for me and made me have to hire a caregiver. But now you're calling me just to ask for your chicken?

"I killed your chicken and cooked it for your sister. I heard that chicken meat is good for pregnant women."

I could hear Belle's coquettish voice in the background, "Mother loves me so much. I just casually mentioned my craving for chicken meat to her, and she got it for me almost immediately…

"Celine, you're just plain selfish!"

I felt as if I was torn into halves. It was like my whole body was stabbed by a knife and I bled openly.

"Grandmother left that chicken for me!"

My mother merely said, "It's just a chicken. Your grandmother is dead, so why would you be mad at Belle? Do you have to be mad at her just because of a chicken?"