It hadn't been easy bringing Ruth into the world, so Jordan and I had pampered her since she was born. Who would've known that such an innocent child would grow to despise me, her mother, so much in a matter of a few years?

Ruth and Jordan only returned home the following day with Vivian in tow. I knew from their social media posts that they'd gone on a trip together.

More often than not, Vivian was more like the lady of the Jensen household than I was, despite being nothing but Ruth's private tutor. It was clear that Jordan and Ruth liked her much more than me.

In truth, my relationship with Ruth hadn't been this strained in the beginning. She would hold my hand and call me "Mommy", and she would also kiss me sweetly and curl up in my arms as she slept.

When had things changed? When had she drifted away from me?

Was it when Jordan hired Vivian as Ruth's private tutor after she returned to the country? Or was it when I'd been so strict in educating Ruth that she'd rebelled?

I didn't have the answer. All I remembered was that I'd first heard Vivian's name when I'd been helping Ruth with her homework.

She'd been half-hearted in doing it, and I'd told her to redo everything. At the peak of her anger, she'd blurted out Vivian's name while shouting at me. "Why can't you be like Vivian, Mommy? She lets me have fried chicken and soft drinks, and she tells Daddy to take me to the amusement park.

"She's so pretty too! Why can't you dress up a little? All you do is boss me around every day! No wonder Daddy calls you a washed-up housewife!"

Ruth had looked contemptuous when saying that, and it reminded me of Jordan. After years of marriage, I'd started noticing the same look in his eyes when he looked at me.

But when we were dating, no matter what I did, he'd never once lost his patience. In the early days of our marriage, when I'd been covered in discharge after giving birth, he'd never scorned me.

Now that we had everything we wanted, he'd become disdainful of me because I'd been so busy with work that I'd neglected my appearance and figure after giving birth.

I'd been stunned. The amusement park was one of the places Jordan had loved taking me on dates. Now, he'd switched to taking Vivian there.

I pursed my lips as I watched the cheery trio walk into the living room. Suppressing my disappointment, I turned to put the breakfast dishes I'd just washed into the cupboard.

"Mommy, I'm not doing my homework this afternoon. Vivian said she's taking me out for some fun," Ruth said from the door with her hands on her hips.

I glanced at her. In the past, I would've told her off for saying something like that. I would've said that she had to finish whatever tasks she had on hand before she could have fun.

Now, however, it all seemed pointless to me.

So, I made a soft sound of acknowledgment and brushed past her, grabbing my bag so I could head to the lab.

Unexpectedly, she ran to Jordan and threw herself into his arms, looking aggrieved at my dismissive attitude. She said, "Daddy, Mommy was mean to me."

He took off his suit jacket and bent down to pick her up. I saw the toned muscles of his arms ripple as he held her tight.

He'd witnessed the whole exchange, yet he still approached me, his face cold and his tone severe. "Why are you so fierce with Ruth when she's still so young, Dawn? She's just skipping out on some homework, isn't she? Why are you throwing a tantrum at her?"

I looked up at him, suddenly finding him to be more like a stranger. This was our seventh year together, and he was no longer the cheerful young man I remembered.

Ruth wrapped her arms around Jordan's neck, smugly making a face at me when she heard him berate me.

In the past, I would've refuted Jordan and argued with him on the importance of Ruth's education. This time, however, I was calm. I merely turned to leave, knowing there was no point in arguing with people like them.

Behind me, Vivian spoke to Jordan. "Is Dawn mad, Jordan? It must be because of me. I'll quit if she doesn't like me."

He said, "Ignore her. All she does is put on a long face every day. Who does she think she's putting on a show for?"

I was so engrossed in my research at the lab that it was past 9:00 pm before I knew it.

When a colleague saw that I was still hard at work, they said in surprise, "I can't believe you're still here, Dawn. Don't you need to go home to be with your daughter?"

I thought about how Ruth and Vivian had acted around each other and shook my head. "Nope. I won't need to do that anymore."

I spent the next two days and nights toiling away in the lab before I finally got the data I wanted. Satisfaction surged through me. Suddenly, it felt fantastic not to have to squeeze out time and set aside the things I loved just so I could hurry home.

Whistling happily as the evening sun set, I headed home. However, as soon as I opened the door, I saw the dark look on Jordan's face as he held Ruth in his arms.

The moment he saw me, he flew off the handle. "Haven't you had enough of this fit, Dawn? I can't believe you didn't even come home! Do you remember that you're someone's wife and mother? I work my butt off every day, not so you can just dump everything and go out for fun!"

His words were so insulting that I immediately retorted, "I have a job, Jordan. Besides, aren't you Ruth's father? Can't you care for her? Anyway, we have Vivian around, don't we?"

I frowned. "Sure, you work your butt off. But do you earn more than I do? I make more than enough to feed myself!"

Just then, the door opened behind me, and Vivian's gentle voice rang out. "Joe, I told you not to argue with Dawn, didn't I? Why are you mad again?"

Ruth wriggled out of Jordan's arms and ran to her, clinging to her legs. She said cutely, "You're finally here, Vivian! I'm hungry. Can you take me out for food?"

Vivian rubbed her head and said, "I'd love to, but…"

She looked up at me, seemingly torn. "But your mother will get mad. She doesn't like it when you eat out."

Ruth became angry at her words and smacked my arm. "You're not allowed to stop me, you bad woman!"

My arm stung slightly from where her palm had landed, and I let out an exasperated laugh. I forbade Ruth from eating out because she'd always been weak as a child, especially her constitution. Having greasy food like fried chicken and burgers would give her stomachaches and make her purge.

Out of concern for her body, I'd controlled what she ate and followed a strict diet prepared by a doctor. I'd given her all the care she needed. Yet, it turned out my love for her had gone down the drain.

Suddenly, none of this seemed to matter anymore. I turned to return to my room, saying, "Whatever."

Soon, Ruth's cheers drifted into the room from outside. "Yay! Daddy's taking me and Vivian out for food!"

I stayed in my room, unfazed by the noise outside. Once upon a time, I'd been devastated by the shift in Jordan's feelings. We'd been together for seven years—how could I accept that the man I loved had changed and just take it in stride?

But gradually, I understood something. Once one started worrying that someone might leave them, they would take one's affection for granted. So, it was better to love oneself than to love others.

…

Later that night, I was watering the plants I'd gotten for Ruth when Jordan suddenly returned. He looked panicked, and when he saw me, he was like a trapped beast that had finally found an outlet to unleash his wrath.

"Is this how you take care of a child, Dawn? Don't you know Ruth is sick? Why didn't you remind me of that before we left? Do you need to push her to the brink and see her die before you're satisfied? Come to the hospital with me now!" he snapped.

My hand faltered in mid-air, still holding the watering can.

I was baffled. Ruth had refused to have anything to do with me since her birthday party. How would I have known that she would fall sick?

Still, my motherly instincts pushed me to follow Jordan out. On the way to the hospital, I puzzled everything out. Ruth had suddenly started burning up halfway through their meal. Then, she'd passed out.

"Something's wrong, Jordan. I think Ruth is having an allergic reaction," I said, picking up on the flaw in his brief explanation. He and Vivian had ordered something with peanut butter during the meal, and Ruth was allergic to peanuts.

"Is that what happened?" He looked at me in confusion.

I pushed him away and ran into the hospital. Ruth's allergy was one of the things I felt most guilty about because she'd inherited it from me. The allergic reaction could be fatal in severe cases.

"Slow down, Dawn! Your shoe!" Jordan soon caught up with me, panting as he tried to catch his breath. He held one of my shoes in his hand.

I didn't even look at him, though. Ruth had broken out in hives, and her skin was red all over. She weakly called for "Mommy".

"Ruth!" I reached out to hold her, knowing that nothing else mattered in that moment. I didn't care whether she wanted someone else to be her mother or whether she genuinely hated me. I didn't want to think about any of that. All I wanted was to hold my child.

Unfortunately, Ruth recognized me through her delirium. She glared at me and slapped my hands away roughly. "I don't want you!"

Her hoarse voice stabbed me in the chest, making my heart twist painfully.

"Ruth Jensen, she is your mother!" Jordan snapped, looking furious. He'd seen how I'd run into the hospital and knew how panicked I was.

Vivian saw my bare foot and caught the slight metallic scent of blood in the air. She said, "Dawn, you're hurt. You should get it treated. I'll stay here with Ruth."

She'd spent the past two years with Ruth and naturally couldn't bear to be fierce with her. All she could do was awkwardly switch the subject.

I looked down at my foot. I hadn't noticed some broken glass on the floor on my way here, and I'd been too worried to realize I was hurt. Now that I knew, I felt pain shoot through me.

"Go see a doctor for that." Jordan looked guilty.

I sat beside Vivian and removed the glass shards from my foot like they were nothing. "I'm fine. I want to see how Ruth is doing."

Since Ruth had been born, this was my first time experiencing what it was like to be stabbed in the heart. If possible, I wanted to suffer in her place.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Vivian looked concerned. Meanwhile, Jordan looked apprehensive.

"I'm fine. The doctor's here."

I endured the pain as I stood up and ran to the doctor. I knew Ruth's condition and history of allergies better than anyone else.

An hour later, Ruth's fever broke after she'd been administered an IV.

Meanwhile, my head spun. The blood soaked through the shoe I'd slipped on, making me feel like I was being slashed with every step I took.

Jordan saw the state I was in and offered to accompany me as I saw a doctor. However, Ruth refused to let him go. She held his and Vivian's hands tightly, her pale face filled with reliance.

"Don't worry about it," I said. I leaned in to tuck the blanket higher around Ruth. She didn't want me to touch her, and I didn't dare push her. This was all I could do to bring us closer.

"Drop your act." Ruth turned away from me.

I tugged on my sleeve, feeling awkward and crestfallen. Then, I turned and headed to a clinic.

I'd gotten injured an hour ago, and my foot was covered in blood. The doctor was impressed by my ability to endure pain, but he was also upset that I'd been so negligent of myself.

I wiped the sweat from my brow and smiled faintly. "It's just a minor injury."

Compared to the pain Ruth's attitude toward me had caused, this was nothing.