When my daughter, Ruth Jensen, says for the tenth time that she wants a different mother, I don't get angry. I just calmly ask her who she wants instead.

She blurts, "Vivian."

She means Vivian Green, her tutor… and also the woman my husband has never been able to forget.

At Ruth's birthday party that day, she even openly thanks Vivian, saying Vivian takes care of her like a mother.

Looking at Ruth's young, innocent face, I finally understand that she doesn't like me. So, I stop caring for her and my husband the way I used to.

Instead, I turn around and join a classified national project.

Rather than wasting time on people who aren't worth it, I'd be better off serving my country!

The tenth time my daughter, Ruth Jensen, said she wanted someone else as her mother, I didn't get mad. Instead, I returned to my room and retrieved a confidential agreement I'd kept in a drawer.

I was a researcher in a government laboratory and a responsible one to boot. I was also capable, so my superior, Sophia Bronson, immediately approached me with an invitation to join a confidential project the moment it was announced.

However, I'd been worried about having no one to care for Ruth. She was young, and my husband, Jordan Jensen, was always busy with work.

Besides, the project would last over a decade. If I joined it, I would miss out on watching Ruth grow up. And so, I'd politely rejected Sophia's offer.

Still, at her insistence, I'd brought the confidential agreement for the project home.

I never expected that Ruth wouldn't care about me at all, though. She only had eyes for Vivian Green, her private tutor. She even went so far as to thank Vivian during her birthday party, proudly saying that the latter cared for her like a mother and that she wished she could have a different mother.

Everyone had looked at me, their gazes burning holes in me.

Instead of getting mad, I'd calmly asked Ruth who she wanted to be her mother.

She'd blurted, "Vivian."

And so, I'd turned around and left.

That night, Jordan and I had a huge fight over that. He claimed that I was being unreasonable for taking Ruth's words so seriously.

I looked at him coldly. "What should I take seriously, then? Your relationship with Vivian?"

Perhaps he felt so secure and so sure of my love for him that he couldn't care less about flaunting the fact that Vivian was his true love.

Jordan and I had met in college. We'd started dating then, and we'd worked hard by each other's sides to this day. We were financially secure and had all the major assets we needed. We'd been together for seven years, and it seemed our lives were perfect.

That would've been the case if I hadn't discovered the photo he'd tucked away. It showed Vivian in her teens. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and she looked youthful and vivacious.

I'd wanted to question Jordan about the photo when I found it, but I decided to swallow my grievances at the thought of our years together and Ruth. Whatever had happened between Jordan and Vivian was in the past, wasn't it?

But now, I realized how wrong I was.

I sighed softly and called my friend, Lara Snow. "Hi, Lara. Could you help me inform Sophia that I'll join the confidential project?"

As I spoke, I uncapped my pen and signed the confidential agreement.

"Huh? I thought you said you weren't interested," Lara said.

She and I worked in the same research lab, and she'd also been selected as a researcher for the project. She'd come to me when the list of members for the project had been announced, asking whether I would participate.

I'd thought of Ruth and told Lara that I wouldn't, but now, I'd changed my mind.

She was surprised, and understandably so—everyone close to me knew how much my family meant to me. Every day, I would make time to head home so I could be with them.

"Yeah, I've thought things through," I said.

After ending the call, I slipped the agreement back into its envelope. The next second, a single tear fell from my eye, landing on the envelope.

I wiped it away, but more came. I couldn't control them. How could I not be sad when Ruth was the child I'd managed to give birth to after battling death?

When I'd first gotten pregnant, I'd had morning sickness all the time because of my poor condition, and I'd been so nauseous that I couldn't eat anything. When it was at its worst, I would even faint.

Upon finally carrying Ruth to term, I'd faced complications in labor because she wasn't in the right position for birth. The doctor had issued a critical illness notice and urged Jordan to sign an agreement to terminate the pregnancy.

I'd stopped them both. Fortunately, I'd later brought Ruth into the world, and we'd both been safe.

It hadn't been easy bringing Ruth into the world, so Jordan and I had pampered her since she was born. Who would've known that such an innocent child would grow to despise me, her mother, so much in a matter of a few years?

Ruth and Jordan only returned home the following day with Vivian in tow. I knew from their social media posts that they'd gone on a trip together.

More often than not, Vivian was more like the lady of the Jensen household than I was, despite being nothing but Ruth's private tutor. It was clear that Jordan and Ruth liked her much more than me.

In truth, my relationship with Ruth hadn't been this strained in the beginning. She would hold my hand and call me "Mommy", and she would also kiss me sweetly and curl up in my arms as she slept.

When had things changed? When had she drifted away from me?

Was it when Jordan hired Vivian as Ruth's private tutor after she returned to the country? Or was it when I'd been so strict in educating Ruth that she'd rebelled?

I didn't have the answer. All I remembered was that I'd first heard Vivian's name when I'd been helping Ruth with her homework.

She'd been half-hearted in doing it, and I'd told her to redo everything. At the peak of her anger, she'd blurted out Vivian's name while shouting at me. "Why can't you be like Vivian, Mommy? She lets me have fried chicken and soft drinks, and she tells Daddy to take me to the amusement park.

"She's so pretty too! Why can't you dress up a little? All you do is boss me around every day! No wonder Daddy calls you a washed-up housewife!"

Ruth had looked contemptuous when saying that, and it reminded me of Jordan. After years of marriage, I'd started noticing the same look in his eyes when he looked at me.

But when we were dating, no matter what I did, he'd never once lost his patience. In the early days of our marriage, when I'd been covered in discharge after giving birth, he'd never scorned me.

Now that we had everything we wanted, he'd become disdainful of me because I'd been so busy with work that I'd neglected my appearance and figure after giving birth.

I'd been stunned. The amusement park was one of the places Jordan had loved taking me on dates. Now, he'd switched to taking Vivian there.

I pursed my lips as I watched the cheery trio walk into the living room. Suppressing my disappointment, I turned to put the breakfast dishes I'd just washed into the cupboard.

"Mommy, I'm not doing my homework this afternoon. Vivian said she's taking me out for some fun," Ruth said from the door with her hands on her hips.

I glanced at her. In the past, I would've told her off for saying something like that. I would've said that she had to finish whatever tasks she had on hand before she could have fun.

Now, however, it all seemed pointless to me.

So, I made a soft sound of acknowledgment and brushed past her, grabbing my bag so I could head to the lab.

Unexpectedly, she ran to Jordan and threw herself into his arms, looking aggrieved at my dismissive attitude. She said, "Daddy, Mommy was mean to me."

He took off his suit jacket and bent down to pick her up. I saw the toned muscles of his arms ripple as he held her tight.

He'd witnessed the whole exchange, yet he still approached me, his face cold and his tone severe. "Why are you so fierce with Ruth when she's still so young, Dawn? She's just skipping out on some homework, isn't she? Why are you throwing a tantrum at her?"

I looked up at him, suddenly finding him to be more like a stranger. This was our seventh year together, and he was no longer the cheerful young man I remembered.

Ruth wrapped her arms around Jordan's neck, smugly making a face at me when she heard him berate me.

In the past, I would've refuted Jordan and argued with him on the importance of Ruth's education. This time, however, I was calm. I merely turned to leave, knowing there was no point in arguing with people like them.

Behind me, Vivian spoke to Jordan. "Is Dawn mad, Jordan? It must be because of me. I'll quit if she doesn't like me."

He said, "Ignore her. All she does is put on a long face every day. Who does she think she's putting on a show for?"

I was so engrossed in my research at the lab that it was past 9:00 pm before I knew it.

When a colleague saw that I was still hard at work, they said in surprise, "I can't believe you're still here, Dawn. Don't you need to go home to be with your daughter?"

I thought about how Ruth and Vivian had acted around each other and shook my head. "Nope. I won't need to do that anymore."

I spent the next two days and nights toiling away in the lab before I finally got the data I wanted. Satisfaction surged through me. Suddenly, it felt fantastic not to have to squeeze out time and set aside the things I loved just so I could hurry home.

Whistling happily as the evening sun set, I headed home. However, as soon as I opened the door, I saw the dark look on Jordan's face as he held Ruth in his arms.

The moment he saw me, he flew off the handle. "Haven't you had enough of this fit, Dawn? I can't believe you didn't even come home! Do you remember that you're someone's wife and mother? I work my butt off every day, not so you can just dump everything and go out for fun!"

His words were so insulting that I immediately retorted, "I have a job, Jordan. Besides, aren't you Ruth's father? Can't you care for her? Anyway, we have Vivian around, don't we?"

I frowned. "Sure, you work your butt off. But do you earn more than I do? I make more than enough to feed myself!"

Just then, the door opened behind me, and Vivian's gentle voice rang out. "Joe, I told you not to argue with Dawn, didn't I? Why are you mad again?"

Ruth wriggled out of Jordan's arms and ran to her, clinging to her legs. She said cutely, "You're finally here, Vivian! I'm hungry. Can you take me out for food?"

Vivian rubbed her head and said, "I'd love to, but…"

She looked up at me, seemingly torn. "But your mother will get mad. She doesn't like it when you eat out."

Ruth became angry at her words and smacked my arm. "You're not allowed to stop me, you bad woman!"

My arm stung slightly from where her palm had landed, and I let out an exasperated laugh. I forbade Ruth from eating out because she'd always been weak as a child, especially her constitution. Having greasy food like fried chicken and burgers would give her stomachaches and make her purge.

Out of concern for her body, I'd controlled what she ate and followed a strict diet prepared by a doctor. I'd given her all the care she needed. Yet, it turned out my love for her had gone down the drain.

Suddenly, none of this seemed to matter anymore. I turned to return to my room, saying, "Whatever."

Soon, Ruth's cheers drifted into the room from outside. "Yay! Daddy's taking me and Vivian out for food!"

I stayed in my room, unfazed by the noise outside. Once upon a time, I'd been devastated by the shift in Jordan's feelings. We'd been together for seven years—how could I accept that the man I loved had changed and just take it in stride?

But gradually, I understood something. Once one started worrying that someone might leave them, they would take one's affection for granted. So, it was better to love oneself than to love others.

…

Later that night, I was watering the plants I'd gotten for Ruth when Jordan suddenly returned. He looked panicked, and when he saw me, he was like a trapped beast that had finally found an outlet to unleash his wrath.

"Is this how you take care of a child, Dawn? Don't you know Ruth is sick? Why didn't you remind me of that before we left? Do you need to push her to the brink and see her die before you're satisfied? Come to the hospital with me now!" he snapped.