“Are you going to school already?” Vanessa asked her husband who just came down from their room.

He was on the stairs, heading to the kitchen. He had already taken a bath, dressed up, and even put on his shoes. So early. She hadn’t even showered yet because she chose to cook their breakfast first. Before looking away, she checked out his uniform. He was still handsome, like the Gian she admired before.

She brought out the food she cooked and placed them on the table. She gave a sweet smile when Gian finally came down and looked at what she was doing. It was only six in the morning. She had woken up exactly at five to prepare their breakfast.

At least in this way, she could make up for everything. At least like this, maybe she could get back the old Gian.

She wanted to see his sweet smile again, the smile that made her fall, the smile that became the trap she could never escape.

“I’ll eat at school.”

Her mouth literally fell open at what he said. At school? What about the food she cooked? Did that mean she would be eating alone?

Panicking, she ran to him.

“It’s still early, just eat here. Don’t waste what I prepared,” she pleaded, but Gian didn’t listen.

He grabbed his things and rushed out, leaving her in the kitchen. She looked at the food. No! She couldn’t let this happen. She wouldn’t allow him to just walk away. She ran after him and grabbed his arm.

“Come on, Gian, just eat a—”

He pulled his arm away from her grip.

Gian isn’t the same man I knew anymore, she whispered to herself.

But there was no one else to blame. It was her fault. She chose what she wanted without thinking if someone else would get hurt.

“What part of what I said don’t you understand? Are you really that stupid, Vanessa? Stop forcing things I don’t want! Do you understand?” He shouted straight to her face. His eyes were dark, full of anger and hate.

She let out a sob.

“And one more thing, don’t cry in front of me, Van,” he added coldly.

“I just wanted—”

“I don’t care about what you want! Do you think your breakfast will lessen the anger I feel for you? No! It won’t!” He slammed the door shut as he left.

She held her face as the tears she had been holding back finally fell. She only wanted their marriage to work. She only wanted to fix things. If she could undo her mistake, she would.

It wasn’t easy seeing the old Gian she loved turn into this. It wasn’t easy living with someone who hated your presence from the very beginning. It wasn’t easy, it was painful.

Only her sobs echoed in the big house. What kind of bad luck had fallen on her life?

She wiped her tears with her hands. Even though they kept falling, she didn’t let them win. This wasn’t the time to be weak.

This isn’t the Vanessa I used to be; she told herself.

She wiped her tears again, let out a loud sigh, and smiled.

“You think I’m going to give up, Gian? Well, you’re wrong. I’m just getting started,” she said with a little laugh.

She went back to the table and looked at the food she had prepared. Sadness hit her again. What would happen to all of this? Her effort was wasted.

“I cooked so much and that stupid gay Gian didn’t even eat.” She sat on the chair and stared at the food sadly.

“Gian Saldivar, so manly but owned by a gay heart,” she whispered to herself with a chuckle.

“Can I even finish all of you?” she asked the food on the table. She grabbed a fork and stabbed a hotdog, staring at it. “You know, if only you were Gian’s hotdog, I’d definitely eat you.” She laughed at herself for talking to a hotdog.

“Dios mio, what am I even saying? At think, I’m going crazy.” She burst out laughing. “Damn you, Gian!” she shouted.

~

Vanessa packed up all the leftover food into two lunch boxes. Her face was gloomy but she refused to let it ruin her day. Stress was bad for beauty.

After packing everything, she sat again. Such a waste. She really worked hard to cook these. She had never even fried hotdogs before, and now she fried fish too.

She rolled her eyes. Gian made her so mad she wanted to bite his neck.

Gian was lucky. He was the first man she ever cooked for, and he had the nerve to reject her? Acting hard-to-get? Acting like he was so handsome?

She couldn’t help but laugh at the thought. Actually, it wasn’t hard-to-get. Gian was really mad at her. Who wouldn’t be? She took away his freedom.

“Fine, it’s all my fault. Damn it!”

After beating herself up, she finally stood up and went to the room Gian lent her. She changed into her departmental shirt. Good thing she had brought it, or else she wouldn’t be allowed inside the campus. Their guards were stricter than the chancellor. And since it was Friday, departmental shirt was required.

She paired it with black jeans and black rubber shoes. She looked at the mirror before leaving the maid’s quarter.

“Damn Gian, he even made me a maid. But it’s okay, I still love that monkey,” she chuckled. “Love really makes you do crazy things.”

She grabbed her shoulder bag and left the house. After closing their gate, she let out a smile. This was her first day as Vanessa Alvarez-Saldivar. She should only face good vibes.

It was a three-minute walk to the tricycle terminal. My husband owns a car, yet here I am commuting. So, irritating!

She sat in the tricycle with a huff and placed her bag beside her.

“Let’s go, Manong,” she told the driver.

“Sorry, Ma’am, we still need three more passengers,” the driver replied. Her eyes widened in shock.

Three more? She looked around and her jaw dropped.

“Seriously? It’s already so cramped!” she complained, making the other passengers laugh.

“Ate, first time riding this? You should’ve just taken a taxi,” a kid teased, making everyone laugh harder.

She just rolled her eyes and stayed quiet. The kid was right anyway. How was she supposed to know this was how tricycles worked?

She was in the front seat, stuck in the middle. On her left was a lady, and on her right was a male student from her university. He looked like a fourth year too.

“Kuya, can you move a little? I’m getting squished here,” she asked. But the guy only glanced at her. “Kuya—”

“You know what, I’m about to fall, Miss. Why don’t we just switch places?” the guy said loudly so everyone could hear. So rude! And not even handsome.

“Stop this tricycle!” she snapped.

~

“How are things with you and Sir Gian, Van?” her cousin Mae asked while they were in the Computer Lab, working on their research proposal. Second semester had started, which meant hell for graduating students, thesis!

She stopped typing and turned to her cousin who clearly wanted to gossip about her love life. She secretly smiled at the thought.

Love life? Gian almost wanted to kill her out of annoyance.

“Hey, I’m asking you! And why are you smiling? You know, I should actually be mad at you,” Mae said dramatically. She raised her brows. Her cousin was at it again. Mae was always like this, she knew every gossip in the university.

“And why is that?” she asked, curious. She should be the one being emo, not Mae.

“Because we agreed I’d be your bridesmaid, remember? But what happened? I didn’t even get an invitation! I just found out you were already married. Where’s the justice in that, huh? You tricked me! When I get married, you’ll be the one washing dishes!”

Now Mae was being dramatic. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“About that, I’m sorry. There were no bridesmaids or whatever at my wedding. It was just civil. Don’t worry, if I get married again, I’ll make you the flower girl,” she joked so Mae would stop.

It was dangerous to tell her cousin too much, she might publish it in the school paper.

Because Mae, Shiella Mae Alvarez, was the Editor-in-Chief of their university’s Student Publication. That explained her being so nosy. She knew almost everyone on campus, especially the ones good at writing.

It’s true what they say: never tell your secrets to gossipers, especially writers. Why? Because they might turn it into a story and expose you. Dead meat!

She heard Mae sigh. She turned to her again.

“That was deep. What’s wrong?”

She thought the drama was over, but Mae had a part two.

“I got scammed,” Mae said, closing her notebook and putting it away.

“You? Scammed? Wow, that’s a miracle,” she teased, laughing. “Are you done?” she asked as Mae stood up.

“I’ll finish this later, promise. By the way, are you really sure about our research topic? How about the title, is it okay? What if Sir rejects it?”

“Then I’ll reject him,” she said, laughing.

“Crazy!” Mae fixed her wrinkled shirt, grabbed her bag, and rushed off. “I’ll go ahead. Adios!”

She just shook her head. She really couldn’t understand her cousin sometimes. Still, she smiled.

“If I’m hard-headed, Mae is crazy,” she whispered, facing the computer again.

“At least Mae isn’t a drama queen in tricycles. Unlike you. Not even that pretty, yet so full of attitude,” a voice said beside her. A man’s voice.

She turned and saw him. The guy from the tricycle. Her blood boiled. She grabbed her notebook and hit him on the head.

“You! You’ve been annoying me since earlier! You don’t know why I acted that way. Anyone would’ve done the same. Do you know why? Because your armpits stink, that’s why! Ugh!”

She snapped, glaring at him. She wanted to scratch his face out of anger.

The guy sniffed his armpit.

She rolled her eyes, hiding her laughter. His armpit didn’t really smell. She just couldn’t think of any better excuse after he called her dramatic.

She moved the mouse to log out of her account, grabbed her things, and stood up. But before she could walk away, the guy grabbed her arm.

“My armpits don’t stink!”

It was already late at night when Vanessa glanced at her watch. She got home at seven or better yet, she arrived at seven. She rubbed her cold arms. Of all things to forget, why did it have to be her jacket? She exhaled in frustration plus the fact that she was freezing.

She looked around the house. It was even darker inside than it was outside. Only Gian’s room light was on, so he was already home. Maybe he was too lazy to turn on the other lights, or maybe he was saving electricity. Wow, saving! Big word!

Slowly, she opened the door, careful not to make any noise. She moved as quietly as she could.

Her husband might already be asleep for now, or maybe working on some papers. She didn’t want to disturb him again; he might turn into a dragon like before. She didn’t even know what he would do if that happened. He might even throw her things out. His temper was worse than a dragon’s.

Because Gian was a different kind of dragon, a dragon in his menopausal stage. Always hot-headed. Blood boiling.

She felt like a thief sneaking in. Well, if she really was a thief, she would be the prettiest thief ever. She rolled her pure black eyes.

Why is she doing this? Her gay husband was surely in his room already. She wouldn’t even reach him if she made some noise.

She had just closed the door when she heard the sound of a glass falling on the table in the living room. All her confidence suddenly ran away. Her husband was in the living room! Even her beauty seemed to run away from her.

“Is this the right time for a decent student to come home, Vanessa?” It was Gian’s voice. A voice full of anger, just from the tone alone. A voice without any trace of softness. The very same voice she had once liked.

Her heartbeat raced, not from excitement like before, but from the angry aura surrounding him. Even in the dark, she could feel his rage. Gian stood and turned on the light.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” he asked her.

It felt like the lights themselves were ordering her to answer their master. She slowly bowed her head.

“Sorry… we finished late today at six-thirty,” she said softly, biting her lower lip.

“I’m tired of your lies, Vanessa. Until when will you keep lying?” His words made her panic. Gian was shouting again.

She turned to him, confused. “But I—”

“I have your schedule. Every Friday you’re dismissed at five-thirty. You’re not only stubborn, you’re also a liar!”

~

Vanessa was crying as she wiped her endless tears. She had her reasons for being late. She and Mae had to edit their research proposal until six-thirty because, unfortunately, their first draft was rejected.

Wasn’t that enough reason? But no, Gian never gave her the chance to explain. He already jumped to conclusions.

At the terminal, she even waited twenty minutes for the jeep to be full. It was rush hour, but strangely, there weren’t many passengers. Maybe she really was unlucky. She was starting to believe it. After all, that’s what everyone kept telling her. Maybe she was just fooling herself by not believing them.

And the ride home took another ten minutes. That’s why she got home at seven.

Okay, fine. She admitted she lied about her six-thirty dismissal but she had valid reasons, right? She really did leave the university at six-thirty.

She groaned in frustration.

“Damn it! Why won’t you stop?” she shouted at her tears, as if they would answer her.

She was so tired. She was really exhausted and hurt. Who wouldn’t be hurt by what Gian said? She wasn’t a liar. Just because she was late, he accused her like that!

“You’re so annoying, Janine, wait, I mean Gian!” she screamed.

But she quickly covered her mouth, maybe her voice was too loud.

“Damn it!”

Did Gian hear that? She wondered. She stood up and opened her bedroom door to check. Maybe he was in the kitchen or in the living room.

As soon as she opened the door, she froze. Gian was standing right there. She felt like a snake had bitten her. What was he doing in front of her door?

“I know you’re mad at me, Vanessa, but I’m mad at you too. That makes me the winner,” he said before turning his back.

~

Vanessa ran her fingers over her swollen eyes. Facing the mirror, she sometimes smiled, sometimes cried. If the mirror could talk, it would call her stupid.

She didn’t know what time she finally cried herself to sleep last night. Gian’s words had cut deep her heart. They sank into her mind and into her very system. If only she had the courage, she would’ve answered him back.

Why was she even proud to call him her husband? Gian despised her. He almost killed her with his anger. Maybe that’s how it was, sometimes you value people too much, but they don’t value you at all. In short, you get taken for granted. It happens a lot, so it shouldn’t even surprise her.

She had been staring at the mirror for three minutes now. Once again, she had wasted her time.

She stepped out of her room and went to the kitchen to cook breakfast. But when she got there, food was already set on the table and Gian, the same man she cried over all night, was already eating. Great. He was enjoying his meal while she spent the night in tears.

Nanang Delia, as Gian called her, was also there eating with him. Neither of them even thought to invite her. Wow. What a party!

Without looking at them, she went straight to the fridge to get cold water. She’d just drink instead.

“Sir Gian, so you already have someone with you? Is she your girlfriend?” Nanang Delia asked. Vanessa almost choked on her water.

Seriously? Do we look like lovers?

Gian cleared his throat. “She’s my maid, Nanang.”

Vanessa wanted to correct him and say she was his wife. But no, that hurt even more. To him, she wasn’t even worth calling a student. Just a maid. Damn it.

“Hija, come eat. I’m sure you haven’t eaten yet,” Nanang invited.

Vanessa shook her head and glanced at Gian.

“No, I’m full—”

“Sit and eat!” Gian snapped, dropping his utensils on the plate. “Nanang, please clear my plate. I lost my appetite.” He stood and walked out of the dining room.

“Sir, you barely ate—”

“I said I lost my appetite,” he said without looking back.

Vanessa cleared her throat. “Me too, Nanang. I’m not hungry—”

She didn’t finish, because Nanang held her wrist. “What’s your name, hija?”

She forced to give a smile. “Vanessa. Vanessa Alvarez.”

“Alvarez? Are you related to that actress with the same last name?” Nanang asked, curious. The question stung. She was talking about her late mother.

“She’s my mom.”

“Oh! So, you’re rich? Then it’s hard to believe you’re just a maid for that gay man.”

“My husband is not gay—”

“Husband?”

“Hey! Where are you? I’m already here outside.”

It was Mae on video call, skipping greetings as always. They were supposed to finish their paper today, but she didn’t show up. Honestly, who would feel like going out after what happened last night? On top of that, Gian had denied her. She was scared he would get angry again if she left the house.

She sat on her bed, laptop on her lap, still on video call with Mae. Her cousin was hiding a smile and so she raised her eyebrow.

“What happened to you? You look like a panda,” Mae noticed her swollen eyes. She unconsciously touched one of them.

She laughed sarcastically. “I just cried. The story I read last night was tragic.” She lied.

“Pocketbook again? I told you to stop reading that. You’ll just break your heart.” Mae fanned herself. “It’s hot. I’m really hot.”

“Stop lecturing me! You should also quit your K-dramas. You’re starting to look like a fake Korean.”

Mae laughed. “By the way, I have something to recommend. Do you know Ate Sharon? She’s actually a romance writer. I heard the freshmen talking about her. Imagine, our cousin is a writer and we didn’t even know?”

Mae was talking about their cousin, Sir Lloyd’s girlfriend.

Speaking of their cousin, she heard that their cousin was already engaged. Lucky her.

“Wow, you’re late with the news,” she said with a laugh.

“What? You knew already? Of course, you’re a reader.” Mae chuckled. “Oh my gosh! They say even in the prologue, you can already read a bed scene.” Her cousin laughed, and so did she. “So, is that where you learned your tricks to attract Sir Gian?”

“You’re crazy!”

“Bad influence, that Ate Sharon. Always.” Mae stood. “So, are you coming? It’s too hot here. Don’t you pity me? At least pity our thesis.”

“Get out of here. You’re too nosy.”

“You’re a scammer! God, there are too many scammers these days. Even my cousin is one.”

“You’re so dramatic, Mae.” she rolled her eyes. “You know, you should be the writer. I know an editor. I’ll recommend you.”

She laughed, but Mae ignored her joke.

“By the way, Ate Sharon wants you to sew her bridal gown. I think she doesn’t trust me. Well, you did win in our bridal gown competition back in third year. Make it black, okay?” Mae laughed again.

She almost believed her cousin was insane. One moment she was dramatic, the next couple of second she was laughing. Was Mae even normal?

“Idiot! When you get married, I’ll make yours black.” she laughed with her. What else could she do with such a crazy cousin?

Mae sighed. “Vanny, I need to tell you something. But promise me first, you won’t tell anyone.”

Only Mae called her Vanny when she was serious. Serious? Sometimes her cousin’s brain seemed off.

“Why? What is it?”

“Promise first! You never listen!”

“Okay, okay. Promise.” she raised her left hand, since her right was holding her phone. “What is it? You’re making me nervous.”

“I got scammed, Vanny.” That confused her even more. Mae and her scams again.

“How much did they scam you? A million? Two million? Is that why—”

“I’m pregnant, Vanny. Kent is the father.”

Her jaw dropped. She didn’t know how to react. Damn that Kent!

~

Monday. A whole month had passed in Vanessa’s life, but to her, it felt like only a week. Her husband Gian had become even harsher with her. What’s worse, he even started bringing men into their house.

Well, his house. It was like he was showing her that she didn’t even exist in his life. That was always Gian, ignoring everything she did, treating her like nothing.

She remembered one day; she happily decorated the guest room because she wanted to sleep there. She wasn’t comfortable staying in the maid’s quarters. But Gian got so angry when he saw what she did, and it turned into a fight.

He said she had no right to interfere, because it wasn’t her house. She should be content with what she had. And yes, it was true, so she had no choice but to accept his decision and his anger.

“Deep in thought, huh? You almost drowned in it,” her cousin Sharon teased, sitting beside her.

Sharon had just gotten married that day, wearing the wedding gown they worked on together.

The gown looked so perfect on her cousin. It was actually the wedding gown she had once dreamed of wearing herself. Sharon wanted a different style, but she made the gown she had always wished to wear on her wedding day, a dream that never came true.

She gently shook her head and turned to her cousin.

“Why that face? You look like it’s Holy Week,” Sharon laughed, then turned serious. “Did you fight again with your gay husband?”

“Ate…”

“What now? Are you going to defend that ex-best friend of mine again?” Sharon referred to Gian.

She lowered her eyes to her phone. She didn’t answer. What was the point of denying it? Just yesterday, Gian brought home another man.

In his house, duh!

Even if he brought a million men home, she had no say.

Fine! Let’s see if you don’t get sick from all that. You’re driving me crazy, Gian! She muttered under her breath.

“Don’t be a martyr, Vanessa. You’re making yourself look stupid,” Sharon sighed, then forced a bitter smile. “But if that’s really what you want, then I’ll just stand by you in your stupidity.”

She hugged her cousin tightly. “I really, really love him, Ate.”

“Don’t worry. Gian will wake up one day.”

I hope so, Ate… I really hope so, she wished silently. But would it always just be hope?

Later, feeling thirsty, she went to the water dispenser. She wasn’t in the mood for soda or alcohol. She just wanted water. She grabbed a cup, but before she could pour, someone got there first. She frowned and looked up, it was him.

“You again?” she snapped. The guy from the tricycle. The one she told had smelly armpits. She almost laughed at the thought.

“Don’t worry. I put on deodorant. Smells good now, you can even check,” the guy joked, then walked away.

Without thinking, she followed him with her eyes. To her shock, he went straight to her cousin’s husband, Sir Lloyd. What’s his connection to him? she wondered.

Her phone suddenly rang. Panic hit her. What if it’s Gian again, looking for me? She hadn’t even told him properly that she’d be at her cousin’s wedding. He hadn’t wanted her to go at all. They had fought about it while finishing Sharon’s wedding gown.

Back then, Sharon had confronted Gian about bringing men into the house. Anyone could see how wrong that was. But Gian, being Gian, got furious. He shouted, broke things, and screamed that it was none of their business.

He even tried to hit Sharon, but she quickly stepped in, so she became the target of his anger instead. After all, Gian was much stronger than she was.

Honestly, she can’t even recognize her husband anymore. Gian had become a monster. He wouldn’t let her leave the house without his permission.

Her dad knew nothing about his son-in-law’s behavior, and she had no plans to tell him. She still clung to the hope that Gian would change, even if that hope was close to impossible.

Quickly, she rummaged through her bag for her phone. Gian always got mad if she didn’t answer right away. She sighed in relief when she saw the name “Mae” on the screen instead of her husband’s.

Why isn’t Mae here today? She thought, before answering.

She cleared her throat. “Mae?” she said calmly, though her heart was still racing.

On the other line, Mae was crying.

“Hey, Mae? What happened? Why are you crying?” she asked in panic.

“Vanny…” Mae sobbed. “Mom found out. She’s really angry.”

She froze. She knew Mae’s mom well, strict, demanding, a perfectionist.

“What should I do now? Mama wants to take me away,” Mae cried.

“Huh? Where?”

“She’s really mad, Vanny. She said I have to stay with Grandma for now.”

“At the island?” Vanessa asked in shock.

“Yes… at Isla Berde,” Mae cried harder.

That afternoon, the sky was dark and the wind was cold. It was only four o’clock, but it already looked like evening. Vanessa hugged her arms, wishing she had brought a jacket.

The wedding reception wasn’t finished yet, but she had gone home early. Nanang Delia had called, saying Gian would be coming home sooner than expected. He told her he’d be gone for five days, but here he was, already returning.

She didn’t bother to ask where he had been or why he was coming back early. What was the point? They’d been married for almost two months, but he still hadn’t accepted her.

At least Nanang Delia was living with them now, she finally had an ally in the house.

“Nanang Delia?” she called.

“Oh, good thing you came home quickly, Ma’am,” the old woman said warmly, taking her bag. “Sir was asking for you earlier. I didn’t know what to say.”

Delia was her only ally, the only one she could trust. Even Gian trusted the woman.

“What did you tell him?” she asked nervously.

“I said you were resting. I didn’t want to get you in trouble.”

She smiled in relief, dimples showing. “Thank you so much, Nanang.”

The woman held her hand. “I still believe one day you and Sir will work things out.”

“I hope so too, Nanang. But if he doesn’t stop what he’s doing—”

“I don’t believe your husband has men,” the old woman cut her off.

“And what do you call the men he keeps bringing home then? Friends?”

“Well, maybe.” Delia chuckled and went back to the table where she was making hotcakes. “Let’s not talk about that, Ma’am. It just makes me older.”

“Just call me Vanessa, Nanang. I’m not your boss here.”

“You’re Sir’s wife, so—”

“I don’t even have a husband, Nanang Delia!”

The words froze her heart. She turned, and there he was, Gian.

Just hearing his voice made her whole-body tremble, like a thief caught red-handed. She didn’t know if it was fear or something else that made her pulse race.

Footsteps, loud and heavy. Even the sound of his steps filled her with dread. Gian was behind her now. She felt his presence, and from the tense look on Nanang Delia’s face, she knew he was angry.

“And you, woman, where have you been? Look at what you’re wearing, you look like a slut. You actually went to your cousin’s wedding dressed like that?” he shouted.

She kept quiet. She waited for the slap or the hair-pulling. Delia looked scared too.

“Answer me! Damn it!”

“Sir—”

“I wasn’t talking to you, Nanang Delia!” Gian snapped.

She turned to face him. She had reached her limit. “First of all, I’m not a slut! Second, my cousin Sharon is not shameless. We both know who the shameless one here, Gian—”

“You bitch! You’re talking back—”

“No. I’m correcting what you said earlier.”

She looked him in the eyes. He was wearing black shorts and a jacket, carrying a bag. And behind him was yet another young man, probably her age.

Another guy, Gian? Really?

“So, you brought someone again. Enjoy, Sir Gian,” she said coldly. She went up to the man and took his bag. “Let me carry this for you, Sir.”

So that’s why he denies that I’m his wife because he keeps bringing men home. Ugh!

The guy looked embarrassed. “Oh no, it’s fine, Ma’am. I can carry it. It’s heavy.”

What a waste, you’re handsome, but you went for a gay guy? she thought bitterly.

“Suit yourself. Nothing to be ashamed of with me,” she said. Then, leaning closer, she whispered, “You know Gian? He finishes quickly, and well, let’s just say you won’t enjoy it much.” The man frowned, and she laughed, winking at him. “Well, I hope you enjoy it.”

Why did I even say that? She thought. But what else could she do? Gian had just called her a slut and now brought another man into their house, right in front of her. Ever heard of motels, Gian?

Dios mio, she thought, it’s hard when your husband is gay because your rivals aren’t women, but men. I don’t even know if that’s an advantage or not.

She shook her head and grabbed a hotcake from the table. What a damn life.