“You may now kiss the bride.”

Those are the words most women dream to hear. Sweet words, words that she wanted to replay again and again. In every pocketbook she read, that was often the happy ending, marriage.

But for her story, this was only the beginning, and there’s a little chance of happiness.

She once dreamed of wearing her own wedding gown, even sewing it herself. A perfect set-up full of flowers, a church wedding, or even better, a beach wedding during sunset. That was her dream.

But dreams are free and reality is not.

She sighed. Sadly, it seemed her dream wedding would never come true. Maybe this was fate’s way of punishing her for being a sassy brat.

“Gian, kiss your bride,” Gian’s uncle repeated.

He was the one officiating the ceremony, and even he looked displeased. Who wouldn’t be?

You, she whispered in her head.

Gian moved closer to her. His breathing was heavy, his eyes dark. She wanted to feel excited, but instead she felt fear and unease. Still, she forced herself to think: It’s my wedding. I should be happy.

This is it. He’s going to kiss me.

But then suddenly she froze. Wait, did I brush my teeth earlier? She shook her head. Of course I did… right?

It was funny. Gian was looking at her like he wanted to kill her, yet she was worried about the toothbrush.

She closed her eyes, ready and waiting for his kiss. But instead, his lips touched her forehead. She opened her eyes, really disappointed. She expected a kiss on the lips, but all she got was a grandmother’s kiss. So, irritating!

“Gian Saldivar!” His uncle shouted. The old man looked like his veins were about to burst.

“Yes, Tito.”

“Kiss her in the—”

“Lips? No way!” Gian cut him off sharply. “Kissing her on the lips is disgusting.”

Disgusting? The word pierced her heart. She wanted to cry, to show him how much she was hurting. But what for? Her tears wouldn’t change anything.

“Gian, just this once,” her father whispered, begging.

No, Dad. Please don’t beg.

Gian let out a heavy sigh, glaring at her. “You win again, Vanessa. You always win.” Then he pressed his lips on hers.

Was that even a kiss? He only brushed his lips against hers. No movement, no passion. There’s nothing.

What did you expect, Van? A romantic kiss? You trapped him, remember?

The few witnesses clapped, her father, her cousin, her brother Jason, and Lloyd. Only a handful of people saw her foolish wedding. Maybe that was better.

But could this really be called a wedding? Why did it feel more like a funeral?

Yeah, right. I’m dead.

~

“Get in the car!” Gian’s voice snapped her back. He no longer sounded like the calm instructor she used to know.

Gian Saldivar, her instructor in Life and Works of Rizal. Everyone knew he was gay. Until now…

“Vanessa, don’t make me repeat myself,” he said firmly.

She looked away. Everything hurt, her eyes, her chest, her whole being.

“I’m not riding with you. I’ll go with Ate Sha—”

“Vanessa!” he yelled again.

She had no choice but to follow. Never had she thought he would treat her this way. All because of one mistake.

But I wasn’t wrong about him being a man, she told herself. If what I did was a mistake, then fine. But it would’ve been such a waste if his bloodline wasn’t used.

They drove in silence until they reached her cousin Sharon’s house, whom his husband once used as his “cover.”

Hmm. Husband? I like the sound of that.

Gian told her that she could stay at his house, “As my maid.” He added.

Her brief happiness disappeared.

Maid? Really? With my beauty? She cursed under her breath.

Gian ignored her, parking the car, not even offering to help with her bags. She sniffed her breath. Still fresh.

He walked away without a smile, and she followed him into the house.

Correction: our house. He’s my husband. What’s his is mine.

But at the door, he stopped. “Take your things. You’ll sleep in the servant’s quarters. Ciao!” And he went upstairs.

Vanessa groaned, furious. “Damn it!” she shouted, throwing her bag.

What an irritating man! Good thing she was still kind or else. Dragging her own luggage inside, she collapsed onto the sofa, exhausted.

Why did he have to be gay? What a waste. At least he could donate sperm and make money out of it, she thought with a bitter laugh. She leaned back, closing her eyes. Lord, if this is the fate you’ve given me, thank you. But please, can you make Gian a little kinder? He’s giving me a headache.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Gian reappeared, fresh from the shower, wearing only a white V-neck shirt and blue shorts.

Her eyes traced his body from his wet hair, to his strong chest, down to his abs, and she swallowed.

Delicious.

“Eyes on my face, flirt,” Gian said in disgust. “You’re not getting any of this.”

She ignored his words. “What’s your problem now?”

Even in simple clothes, he looked so good. His shirt hugged his muscles perfectly. No way was this man really gay.

He pointed at a room near the kitchen. “That’s your room. Make your things fit. If not, just figure it out.”

“Why there? That used to be your maid’s room,” she said, frowning.

“Exactly. Because you’re my maid.”

She rolled her eyes.

“You’ll do everything here. Nanang Delia only comes twice a week to do the laundry. The rest is your job.” With that, he walked away like a runway model.

“Excuse me? Did you forget I’m your wife, not your maid?”

“No. I only married you, but you’re not my wife. On paper, maybe. But in real life? No. I’m still single.” His voice was sharp. “You forced me into this marriage. You trapped me, you little bitched! You knew from the start I didn’t want you. So now, live with it.” He slammed the door.

Her tears finally fell. His words cut deep, stabbing her heart. She thought she could handle this. She thought he’d forgive her. She was wrong.

She had trapped him, taken his freedom, forced herself on him. No one would forgive that easily.

If only I hadn’t done it. If only I didn’t tempt him. If only we weren’t here.

But it was too late. The damage was done. She sighed heavily, grabbing her luggage.

“Cheer up, Van,” she whispered to herself.

“Are you going to school already?” Vanessa asked her husband who just came down from their room.

He was on the stairs, heading to the kitchen. He had already taken a bath, dressed up, and even put on his shoes. So early. She hadn’t even showered yet because she chose to cook their breakfast first. Before looking away, she checked out his uniform. He was still handsome, like the Gian she admired before.

She brought out the food she cooked and placed them on the table. She gave a sweet smile when Gian finally came down and looked at what she was doing. It was only six in the morning. She had woken up exactly at five to prepare their breakfast.

At least in this way, she could make up for everything. At least like this, maybe she could get back the old Gian.

She wanted to see his sweet smile again, the smile that made her fall, the smile that became the trap she could never escape.

“I’ll eat at school.”

Her mouth literally fell open at what he said. At school? What about the food she cooked? Did that mean she would be eating alone?

Panicking, she ran to him.

“It’s still early, just eat here. Don’t waste what I prepared,” she pleaded, but Gian didn’t listen.

He grabbed his things and rushed out, leaving her in the kitchen. She looked at the food. No! She couldn’t let this happen. She wouldn’t allow him to just walk away. She ran after him and grabbed his arm.

“Come on, Gian, just eat a—”

He pulled his arm away from her grip.

Gian isn’t the same man I knew anymore, she whispered to herself.

But there was no one else to blame. It was her fault. She chose what she wanted without thinking if someone else would get hurt.

“What part of what I said don’t you understand? Are you really that stupid, Vanessa? Stop forcing things I don’t want! Do you understand?” He shouted straight to her face. His eyes were dark, full of anger and hate.

She let out a sob.

“And one more thing, don’t cry in front of me, Van,” he added coldly.

“I just wanted—”

“I don’t care about what you want! Do you think your breakfast will lessen the anger I feel for you? No! It won’t!” He slammed the door shut as he left.

She held her face as the tears she had been holding back finally fell. She only wanted their marriage to work. She only wanted to fix things. If she could undo her mistake, she would.

It wasn’t easy seeing the old Gian she loved turn into this. It wasn’t easy living with someone who hated your presence from the very beginning. It wasn’t easy, it was painful.

Only her sobs echoed in the big house. What kind of bad luck had fallen on her life?

She wiped her tears with her hands. Even though they kept falling, she didn’t let them win. This wasn’t the time to be weak.

This isn’t the Vanessa I used to be; she told herself.

She wiped her tears again, let out a loud sigh, and smiled.

“You think I’m going to give up, Gian? Well, you’re wrong. I’m just getting started,” she said with a little laugh.

She went back to the table and looked at the food she had prepared. Sadness hit her again. What would happen to all of this? Her effort was wasted.

“I cooked so much and that stupid gay Gian didn’t even eat.” She sat on the chair and stared at the food sadly.

“Gian Saldivar, so manly but owned by a gay heart,” she whispered to herself with a chuckle.

“Can I even finish all of you?” she asked the food on the table. She grabbed a fork and stabbed a hotdog, staring at it. “You know, if only you were Gian’s hotdog, I’d definitely eat you.” She laughed at herself for talking to a hotdog.

“Dios mio, what am I even saying? At think, I’m going crazy.” She burst out laughing. “Damn you, Gian!” she shouted.

~

Vanessa packed up all the leftover food into two lunch boxes. Her face was gloomy but she refused to let it ruin her day. Stress was bad for beauty.

After packing everything, she sat again. Such a waste. She really worked hard to cook these. She had never even fried hotdogs before, and now she fried fish too.

She rolled her eyes. Gian made her so mad she wanted to bite his neck.

Gian was lucky. He was the first man she ever cooked for, and he had the nerve to reject her? Acting hard-to-get? Acting like he was so handsome?

She couldn’t help but laugh at the thought. Actually, it wasn’t hard-to-get. Gian was really mad at her. Who wouldn’t be? She took away his freedom.

“Fine, it’s all my fault. Damn it!”

After beating herself up, she finally stood up and went to the room Gian lent her. She changed into her departmental shirt. Good thing she had brought it, or else she wouldn’t be allowed inside the campus. Their guards were stricter than the chancellor. And since it was Friday, departmental shirt was required.

She paired it with black jeans and black rubber shoes. She looked at the mirror before leaving the maid’s quarter.

“Damn Gian, he even made me a maid. But it’s okay, I still love that monkey,” she chuckled. “Love really makes you do crazy things.”

She grabbed her shoulder bag and left the house. After closing their gate, she let out a smile. This was her first day as Vanessa Alvarez-Saldivar. She should only face good vibes.

It was a three-minute walk to the tricycle terminal. My husband owns a car, yet here I am commuting. So, irritating!

She sat in the tricycle with a huff and placed her bag beside her.

“Let’s go, Manong,” she told the driver.

“Sorry, Ma’am, we still need three more passengers,” the driver replied. Her eyes widened in shock.

Three more? She looked around and her jaw dropped.

“Seriously? It’s already so cramped!” she complained, making the other passengers laugh.

“Ate, first time riding this? You should’ve just taken a taxi,” a kid teased, making everyone laugh harder.

She just rolled her eyes and stayed quiet. The kid was right anyway. How was she supposed to know this was how tricycles worked?

She was in the front seat, stuck in the middle. On her left was a lady, and on her right was a male student from her university. He looked like a fourth year too.

“Kuya, can you move a little? I’m getting squished here,” she asked. But the guy only glanced at her. “Kuya—”

“You know what, I’m about to fall, Miss. Why don’t we just switch places?” the guy said loudly so everyone could hear. So rude! And not even handsome.

“Stop this tricycle!” she snapped.

~

“How are things with you and Sir Gian, Van?” her cousin Mae asked while they were in the Computer Lab, working on their research proposal. Second semester had started, which meant hell for graduating students, thesis!

She stopped typing and turned to her cousin who clearly wanted to gossip about her love life. She secretly smiled at the thought.

Love life? Gian almost wanted to kill her out of annoyance.

“Hey, I’m asking you! And why are you smiling? You know, I should actually be mad at you,” Mae said dramatically. She raised her brows. Her cousin was at it again. Mae was always like this, she knew every gossip in the university.

“And why is that?” she asked, curious. She should be the one being emo, not Mae.

“Because we agreed I’d be your bridesmaid, remember? But what happened? I didn’t even get an invitation! I just found out you were already married. Where’s the justice in that, huh? You tricked me! When I get married, you’ll be the one washing dishes!”

Now Mae was being dramatic. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“About that, I’m sorry. There were no bridesmaids or whatever at my wedding. It was just civil. Don’t worry, if I get married again, I’ll make you the flower girl,” she joked so Mae would stop.

It was dangerous to tell her cousin too much, she might publish it in the school paper.

Because Mae, Shiella Mae Alvarez, was the Editor-in-Chief of their university’s Student Publication. That explained her being so nosy. She knew almost everyone on campus, especially the ones good at writing.

It’s true what they say: never tell your secrets to gossipers, especially writers. Why? Because they might turn it into a story and expose you. Dead meat!

She heard Mae sigh. She turned to her again.

“That was deep. What’s wrong?”

She thought the drama was over, but Mae had a part two.

“I got scammed,” Mae said, closing her notebook and putting it away.

“You? Scammed? Wow, that’s a miracle,” she teased, laughing. “Are you done?” she asked as Mae stood up.

“I’ll finish this later, promise. By the way, are you really sure about our research topic? How about the title, is it okay? What if Sir rejects it?”

“Then I’ll reject him,” she said, laughing.

“Crazy!” Mae fixed her wrinkled shirt, grabbed her bag, and rushed off. “I’ll go ahead. Adios!”

She just shook her head. She really couldn’t understand her cousin sometimes. Still, she smiled.

“If I’m hard-headed, Mae is crazy,” she whispered, facing the computer again.

“At least Mae isn’t a drama queen in tricycles. Unlike you. Not even that pretty, yet so full of attitude,” a voice said beside her. A man’s voice.

She turned and saw him. The guy from the tricycle. Her blood boiled. She grabbed her notebook and hit him on the head.

“You! You’ve been annoying me since earlier! You don’t know why I acted that way. Anyone would’ve done the same. Do you know why? Because your armpits stink, that’s why! Ugh!”

She snapped, glaring at him. She wanted to scratch his face out of anger.

The guy sniffed his armpit.

She rolled her eyes, hiding her laughter. His armpit didn’t really smell. She just couldn’t think of any better excuse after he called her dramatic.

She moved the mouse to log out of her account, grabbed her things, and stood up. But before she could walk away, the guy grabbed her arm.

“My armpits don’t stink!”

It was already late at night when Vanessa glanced at her watch. She got home at seven or better yet, she arrived at seven. She rubbed her cold arms. Of all things to forget, why did it have to be her jacket? She exhaled in frustration plus the fact that she was freezing.

She looked around the house. It was even darker inside than it was outside. Only Gian’s room light was on, so he was already home. Maybe he was too lazy to turn on the other lights, or maybe he was saving electricity. Wow, saving! Big word!

Slowly, she opened the door, careful not to make any noise. She moved as quietly as she could.

Her husband might already be asleep for now, or maybe working on some papers. She didn’t want to disturb him again; he might turn into a dragon like before. She didn’t even know what he would do if that happened. He might even throw her things out. His temper was worse than a dragon’s.

Because Gian was a different kind of dragon, a dragon in his menopausal stage. Always hot-headed. Blood boiling.

She felt like a thief sneaking in. Well, if she really was a thief, she would be the prettiest thief ever. She rolled her pure black eyes.

Why is she doing this? Her gay husband was surely in his room already. She wouldn’t even reach him if she made some noise.

She had just closed the door when she heard the sound of a glass falling on the table in the living room. All her confidence suddenly ran away. Her husband was in the living room! Even her beauty seemed to run away from her.

“Is this the right time for a decent student to come home, Vanessa?” It was Gian’s voice. A voice full of anger, just from the tone alone. A voice without any trace of softness. The very same voice she had once liked.

Her heartbeat raced, not from excitement like before, but from the angry aura surrounding him. Even in the dark, she could feel his rage. Gian stood and turned on the light.

“Don’t you have anything to say?” he asked her.

It felt like the lights themselves were ordering her to answer their master. She slowly bowed her head.

“Sorry… we finished late today at six-thirty,” she said softly, biting her lower lip.

“I’m tired of your lies, Vanessa. Until when will you keep lying?” His words made her panic. Gian was shouting again.

She turned to him, confused. “But I—”

“I have your schedule. Every Friday you’re dismissed at five-thirty. You’re not only stubborn, you’re also a liar!”

~

Vanessa was crying as she wiped her endless tears. She had her reasons for being late. She and Mae had to edit their research proposal until six-thirty because, unfortunately, their first draft was rejected.

Wasn’t that enough reason? But no, Gian never gave her the chance to explain. He already jumped to conclusions.

At the terminal, she even waited twenty minutes for the jeep to be full. It was rush hour, but strangely, there weren’t many passengers. Maybe she really was unlucky. She was starting to believe it. After all, that’s what everyone kept telling her. Maybe she was just fooling herself by not believing them.

And the ride home took another ten minutes. That’s why she got home at seven.

Okay, fine. She admitted she lied about her six-thirty dismissal but she had valid reasons, right? She really did leave the university at six-thirty.

She groaned in frustration.

“Damn it! Why won’t you stop?” she shouted at her tears, as if they would answer her.

She was so tired. She was really exhausted and hurt. Who wouldn’t be hurt by what Gian said? She wasn’t a liar. Just because she was late, he accused her like that!

“You’re so annoying, Janine, wait, I mean Gian!” she screamed.

But she quickly covered her mouth, maybe her voice was too loud.

“Damn it!”

Did Gian hear that? She wondered. She stood up and opened her bedroom door to check. Maybe he was in the kitchen or in the living room.

As soon as she opened the door, she froze. Gian was standing right there. She felt like a snake had bitten her. What was he doing in front of her door?

“I know you’re mad at me, Vanessa, but I’m mad at you too. That makes me the winner,” he said before turning his back.

~

Vanessa ran her fingers over her swollen eyes. Facing the mirror, she sometimes smiled, sometimes cried. If the mirror could talk, it would call her stupid.

She didn’t know what time she finally cried herself to sleep last night. Gian’s words had cut deep her heart. They sank into her mind and into her very system. If only she had the courage, she would’ve answered him back.

Why was she even proud to call him her husband? Gian despised her. He almost killed her with his anger. Maybe that’s how it was, sometimes you value people too much, but they don’t value you at all. In short, you get taken for granted. It happens a lot, so it shouldn’t even surprise her.

She had been staring at the mirror for three minutes now. Once again, she had wasted her time.

She stepped out of her room and went to the kitchen to cook breakfast. But when she got there, food was already set on the table and Gian, the same man she cried over all night, was already eating. Great. He was enjoying his meal while she spent the night in tears.

Nanang Delia, as Gian called her, was also there eating with him. Neither of them even thought to invite her. Wow. What a party!

Without looking at them, she went straight to the fridge to get cold water. She’d just drink instead.

“Sir Gian, so you already have someone with you? Is she your girlfriend?” Nanang Delia asked. Vanessa almost choked on her water.

Seriously? Do we look like lovers?

Gian cleared his throat. “She’s my maid, Nanang.”

Vanessa wanted to correct him and say she was his wife. But no, that hurt even more. To him, she wasn’t even worth calling a student. Just a maid. Damn it.

“Hija, come eat. I’m sure you haven’t eaten yet,” Nanang invited.

Vanessa shook her head and glanced at Gian.

“No, I’m full—”

“Sit and eat!” Gian snapped, dropping his utensils on the plate. “Nanang, please clear my plate. I lost my appetite.” He stood and walked out of the dining room.

“Sir, you barely ate—”

“I said I lost my appetite,” he said without looking back.

Vanessa cleared her throat. “Me too, Nanang. I’m not hungry—”

She didn’t finish, because Nanang held her wrist. “What’s your name, hija?”

She forced to give a smile. “Vanessa. Vanessa Alvarez.”

“Alvarez? Are you related to that actress with the same last name?” Nanang asked, curious. The question stung. She was talking about her late mother.

“She’s my mom.”

“Oh! So, you’re rich? Then it’s hard to believe you’re just a maid for that gay man.”

“My husband is not gay—”

“Husband?”