Pain.

That was the first thing I felt right after I woke up.

I groaned softly.

My eyes fluttered open.

The ceiling above me was stark white, too bright. The air smelled sterile, heavy with antiseptic. There were numerous machines beeping around me.

I then realized I was in a hospital.

My heart stuttered.

The memories came crashing back all at once, the truck, the blinding light, the crash, and my...

My baby!

My hand shot to my stomach and my heart quickly raced when I didn't feel anything.

"W-where is...where is my..."

The door suddenly opened and my parents came rushing in the moment they saw that I was awake.

"No..." My voice cracked, barely louder than a breath. "No, no, no..."

"Cassy, please calm down." Mom tried to calm me down but I pushed her, unable to calm down.

I tried to sit up, panic flooding every vein, but a sharp pain ripped through my body forcing me back down.

"Where is my baby?" I whispered, my voice trembling. "Where's my baby?"

Dad and mom looked at each other, not answering me.

"Mom? Dad? Where is my baby?"

The door then opened quietly.

A nurse stepped in, her expression gentle and careful. Behind her was a doctor I didn't recognize. They exchanged glances and for some reason I hated it!

"Miss Cassy," the doctor said softly, pulling a chair closer to my bed.

"You've been unconscious for several hours now."

I shook my head frantically. "My baby," I said again, tears already spilling. "Please. I need to see my baby."

The room fell silent.

The beeping machine suddenly sounded unbearably loud.

The doctor inhaled slowly, like he was readying himself.

"I'm so sorry," he began.

No. Please no.

"The impact caused severe internal trauma," he continued. "We did everything we could."

Stop.

"But the baby."

"Stop," I whispered, my hands gripping the sheets so tightly my knuckles turned white. My whole body started shaking. "Please don't say it."

"I'm truly sorry," he said gently, sighing. "The baby didn't make it."

"No," I sobbed. "No, please. You're wrong. I felt them this morning. They were fine. I ate properly, I took my vitamins, I did everything right..."

My voice cracked completely.

"I did everything right," I cried.

The doctor stood up slowly. "We'll give you some time," he said softly before leading the nurse out.

At the same time, Aunt Tessia and Uncle Richard came rushing in. Offering comforting words to me.

But all their words meant nothing.

After a while, the door opened again, and this time, the person I wanted to see the most finally appeared.

Hades looked like a mess, his hair was disheveled, and when he was fully inside, his gaze quickly found mine, and there was nothing in them but contempt and hate.

"All you needed to do was take care of the baby! And you couldn't even do that right!" He yelled.

"Hades!" Uncle Richard stood up, glaring at his own son.

I felt my chest about to burst as I cried my heart out. "I-I'm sor..."

"You should have just dropped dead, that way I'd be free! Fuck this!" He muttered and left, banging the door close behind him.

Everyone fell quiet after that.

The silence was unbearable.

I stared at the ceiling, tears streaming endlessly down my temples and soaking into the pillow. My chest hurt so badly I thought my heart might give out next.

It was my fault.

My baby was gone.

The only little light in my life was gone because of me.

If only I didn't insist on going to their house, if only I had stayed at home, then this wouldn't have happened. My baby would have still been alive.

...

After I recovered, I insisted on going home.

I didn't want to burden my parents. Whatever was broken between Hades and me I had to face it myself.

A cab dropped me off in front of our gate.

I hadn't even been given time to grieve properly. The moment I was allowed to leave, I came straight here. No matter what he said, I knew he cared. If he didn't, he wouldn't have been so angry.

The moment I opened the doors I shivered at the cold feeling.

Everything was dark.

"Hades?" I called out his name but there was no response.

I walked up to the second floor and I tried checking him in his room but he wasn't there. I tried checking his office but he wasn't there as well.

I thought he must have gone out, so I slowly walked back, but then I heard the door screech at the far end of the hall.

My eyes narrowed. Impossible. He wouldn't go there.

Still, curiosity got into me so I walked towards the last room. This was supposed to be our baby's room.

But now... now that will no longer happen.

I gently opened the door and took a peek inside.

"Hades?" I softly called out his name, and when I fully opened it.

I saw him standing at the center looking lost.

"Hade..."

"Why did you even come into my life?" His cold voice came and I stopped, clenching my fist as I maintained a distance from him.

He then turned to me, his eyes void of any emotion. "Is this your way of making my life a living hell? Did the gods purposely give you to me to punish me?"

"Hades..."

He then abruptly turned to me, making me flinch backwards.

"Sign this." He said in a straight voice, his expression serious as he threw a brown envelope in front of me.

"W-what is that?" I asked, my voice trembling.

He looked at me dead in the face. "The divorce papers." He muttered, and I felt my whole world shift.

The next thing I know, I was down on the floor, hugging his leg as I cried in front of him. Even though I know he hates to see me cry, at this moment, I don't care.

"Hades, please, don't do this." I said repeatedly, burying my face in his leg.

"Let go!" He muttered mercilessly deeply but I didn't listen, instead, I clung to him even more.

My tears continued to flow. I could see myself in the corner of my eyes through the mirror. I looked so broken. In fact, I don't even recognize myself anymore.

"I said let go Cassandra!" his voice thundered.

I was so struck by the gravity of his voice that I let him go.

He moved away from me and ran a hand through his hair.

"Why do you keep on pushing yourself to me?" He gritted his teeth as he laughed, like he was losing himself.

"You did everything to get me, and you did. But fuck! We will never be happy. We're only gonna end up hurting each other. This sick love of yours, I will never be able to give it to you." He muttered, looking at me with a drained look on his face.

"Sign it. I already called Klare, and she said she'll be returning in a week." He said, sounding more calm while I on the other hand froze hearing my older sister's name coming out of his lips.

"You'll get settlement money after we get divorce. Go back to school or get married to another guy, I don't really care. Just sign it so we can finally end this suffering." He said.

I want to speak. I want to beg him to stop. But I can't. I have no right to ask him for those things.

"I already signed the papers. After you give yours, our marriage will finally be over." He said, breathing heavily.

"Hades..." I looked up to him, smiling through the pain. I probably look crap right now since I'm still crying, but that's the least of my concern.

"Is this really what you want?" I asked him, smiling weakly.

He looked at me for a moment, his brows clenching, and I could see his fist curling as if he was in a long thought. After a few minutes he finally answered that it finally shattered the perfect marriage I envisioned for the both of us.

"Yes. Sign it." He said.

"After tomorrow, I hope we can finally start all over again with our lives." He said without any second thoughts and I closed my eyes, finally facing the truth.

In this life, I can only ever be nothing to Hades.

How foolish I was to think that he will ever love me.

I heard the door close behind me.

I stared at the wall for hours, and I only moved when the light slowly slipped through the curtains.

I picked up the brown envelope in front of me.

And with a trembling body, I stood up.

I went to my room and picked up a pen, and with shaking hands, I signed the divorce papers.

A tear dripped on the paper and I could only smile bitterly as I left my room.

I roamed my eyes around our home... wait... our home? Is it even right to call it that? Was it even a home to begin with?

Without them knowing, I left. Carrying only one bag which contained all my most precious things.

I left my parents a message that I'll be resting somewhere. I didn't tell them where since I have no clue where I am even going. All I know is that I need to breathe. Somewhere far, somewhere that's not here. A place where no one knows me.

Before I closed the door, I looked at the portrait of me and Hades and I smiled, remembering the day he became mine, and I'll remember this day too well too. The day where his nightmare finally ends with me.

"I love you, Hades." I whispered, closing the door as I left for good.

I was at the bus station, about to leave for a faraway province where I knew Hades wouldn't be able to find me.

"Please. I really need to leave," I pleaded with the driver, begging him to let me board the already full bus.

I reasoned that I could just stand, lean against the window, anything, but he refused. He said my condition was too fragile and that I should come back early in the morning instead.

My stomach was still bleeding slightly from the operation, but I didn't care. I was hell-bent on leaving before anyone noticed my absence. Though deep down, I knew no one truly would.

"Miss, we really can't let you in," the conductor said firmly. "The bus is full, and we'll get punished if we allow an injured woman to ride for six hours."

"I really just need to leave. Please, I won't make a fuss, I swear." I said, but the conductor was already getting agitated.

"Sorry Miss." He said, and I could see from the window, people looking at me with pitiful looks. I know they want to help but I guess they also have families waiting for them at home.

I sighed defeatedly and stepped back, nodding.

"I understand. Sorry for the trouble." I said, turning around and walking back to the shed, walking limply.

I looked around and the whole bus station was deserted. It was only me and one guard that was roaming around.

I was starting to get anxious, afraid that someone might just pop out of nowhere and drag me back. As much as I would love for that to happen. To think that Hades would come looking for me, but the thought of going back... I just can't. I will spare this little amount of pride I have left. I won't show my face to him anymore. As promised.

I realized that no matter how much effort, how much patience, and how much sacrifice I give that he'll never love me back.

So for the sake of his happiness, I'll let him go. I'll leave and let him and Klare have a peaceful life together.

I fetched my phone in my pockets and dialled the only person I know who could help me right now.

"Cassy?"

Dianne's voice came in through the end of the call and I smiled, tears piling up my eyes.

"Dianne?" My voice shivered, hope clinging to me.

She was the only friend I had in this city, the daughter of my nanny. Though our lives went in different directions after she went to college, we stayed in touch.

Not until she knew of what I did. She was mad at me for marrying Hades. I also didn't contact her, until now...

"Oh my God! It's really you! How are you?" She asked excitedly.

"I...I left him." I said, and the call went silent for a moment.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head toward the night sky, wiping away the tears that wouldn't stop falling.

All I heard was her heavy breathing at the end of the line.

"What the actual fuck?!" she shouted.

I pulled the phone away from my ear, startled.

"Did that man hurt you? What did he do?!"

"No, no," I said quickly, shaking my head even though she couldn't see me. "He didn't hurt me. I left on my own."

"What? But you're pregnant. Wait...where are you right now?" She asked hurriedly, I could hear the panic in her voice.

My face scrunched hearing the word "pregnant". So the news hasn't reached her yet?

"I'm at the south bus terminal. Can you please come get me." I said, and I heard a door open and close, and keys clinking.

"What the hell Cassy. The weather's bad and you're out all alone? Are you out of your mind?" She scolded me, but I know that she's just concerned about me.

"Wait there, I'm coming." She said and quickly hung up the phone.

I looked down at my feet and sighed deeply.

A few minutes later, a red car screeched to a stop in front of me. Dianne jumped out with jacket in hand, and rushed over.

When she got close,her expression worsened as she looked at me from head to toe.

"Oh God, Cassy, what happened to you?" She asked, her lips trembling as if she was also about to cry.

I smiled weakly and rubbed my flat stomach. Unable to contain the tears anymore.

"Please...get me out of here." I spoke. I couldn't even recognize my own voice anymore. Perhaps this is the effect of always crying?

Dianne looked at me intently and I could see from her eyes the pity as she lowered her gaze, then as if something clicked, her eyes widened.

"What the...aren't you supposed to be four months pregnant why is your..."

"My baby died." I murmured, my voice tight as I tried to mask the pain, casting my head down as tears trickled to the ground uncontrollably.

"It's all my fault. My baby died because of me. It's all my fault."

She quickly sat beside me and pulled me to her, rubbing soft soothing circles on my back. "Shhh, don't say that. None of what happened is your fault."

I shook my head, burying my face on her shoulders. "If only I hadn't forced him. Only if I didn't let my love for him consume me. None of this would've happened."

She was quiet for a moment before lifting my chin.

"Love is really scary, huh?" she said softly, tears slipping from her own eyes. "But it's never too late to change. We all make mistakes. And the fact that you owned up to yours shows how much you've grown."

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I made everyone miserable."

She gave a sad chuckle and flicked my forehead lightly.

"Yeah. You kinda did."

Then she asked gently, "So... what's your plan now?"

I couldn't answer her. I don't really have a plan yet. With the little amount of money I have with me. It would be a miracle if I can last a week even in the province. I didn't want to use my credit cards since I know I can be tracked.

"If you want..." She started, then paused, as if contemplating whether she should say it or not.

"I have an aunt who lives on the outskirts of the city. She's all alone, and I'm sure she'd be more than happy to let you live with her." She said, and I was filled with hope once again.

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a burden."

"You'll never be a burden to my family. And if my mom were still here, she'd never let you go through this alone."

"Let's go first thing in the morning. For now, let's go to my place for the night to rest." She suggested and I nodded.

She helped me into her car and we drove back to her place.

Immediately the day after she drove me to her aunt's place which was further than I expected.

It took us almost half a day to get there.

However, the scenery left me stunned seeing the beautiful beaches and mountains and the endless sky that stretched ahead.

It really was a peaceful community here.

Everyone looked kind, and they seemed to be dealing with their own lives.

We stopped in front of a wooden gate and I looked at Dianne. She rubbed my hand and signalled a nod as we stepped out.

"Aunt Lianna?!" Dianne called out, and just as quickly a dog suddenly appeared out of nowhere, barking loudly right in front of us.

"Chuck, behave!" A woman came out, making the dog quickly shrink back on the fence.

She has hazel hair, probably in her early thirties.

She was stunning. Her kind eyes were what attracted me the most. It looked pure and untainted, as if a kind soul that could see through every fibe rof my being.

"Sorry about that. Chuck can be quite territorial." She chuckled. I smiled politely at her.

"Good morning, Ma'am." I said.

"Oh pshh! Just call me Anna." She grinned.

"You're really beautiful dear," she said, and my cheeks heated up.

"Umm...thank you. So are you." I said, and she smiled even more.

She then turned to Dianna and instantly scowled.

"Tsk! I wish I could say the same thing to you."

"Dont worry, the feeling is mutual." Dianna shot back, leaving me shocked.

"Wow look at this kid. This is the first time I see you after all these years and you still run that mouth of yours!?"

Dianna just rolled her eyes at her, "That just runs in our blood."

Anna glared at her, clicking her tongue, she turned to me and smiled gently.

"Let's head inside. It's quite scorching out here." She gestured then side glanced Dianne with an irritated look.

Dianne then leaned and bumped me as we followed her, "Sorry about that, she's a bit of a cuckoo you know." She whispered, grinning.

"Hey! I heard that!" Anna snapped her head to us, glaring at Dianne.

Dianne just shrugged at her teasingly. "See? Cuckoo." She laughed and I couldn't help but smile at their interaction.

For the first time in months, I smiled with ease without my heart and mind running wild.

Weeks passed. Then months. Life slowly became peaceful for me.

Maybe... moving here really was the right choice after all.

Four years have passed and my life has been going well. It is peaceful and without many problems. With the help of Anne, I was able to start anew.

I thought life would be hell without Hades in my life. I thought I wouldn't be able to escape from the pain in the past. But it turns out, I was wrong.

I am so grateful to her because she took me in without any questions, and for that I'm forever thankful to her. Actually I can't thank her enough.

Years have passed and I still haven't contacted my parents or reached out to them. It seems they also haven't tried searching for me.

The last time Klare pulled a stunt of leaving home her face was quickly broadcasted all over the news. But when it was me...nothing.

Sigh. But I'm not angry at them. I'm sure they have their reasons. Like just I do when I decided to leave for good.

"I still can't believe the Baron requested for us to cook. In the past few years, you've really improved, Cassy, you even attracted the most influential man of this town." Anne said to me in amazement, smiling excitedly.

I nodded while arranging the vegetables we bought from the market earlier. In the five years I've lived here, I've adapted to the lifestyle.

The town is rich in all kinds of fruits and vegetables, not to mention the sea offers a lot of fish at the market, and their tourist spots are popular too.

With the growing trend of doing vacations in provinces, I'm sure this town will get popular in no time amongst youths.

"It's just a shame I can't go with you. My friend is asking me to accompany her!"

She shook her head and stood up. "I'll leave you here for now. I'm going to water the plants first." She said and left the kitchen.

I nodded and finished my tasks. When I was done, I called my son, Elijah, who was playing alone in the yard, carrying the teddy bear I bought for his birthday.

Elijah didn't come from me. I found him underneath an apple tree crying while I was strolling.

My heart warmed seeing him, I just couldn't turn a blind eye so I took him in. And now, he's a huge part of my life.

I sometimes wonder how my baby would have been if he got the chance to live. They'd probably be the same age right now.

My heart scrunched thinking of it. I shook my head, throwing the thought away.

"Eli!" I called out when I got outside. I smiled at my son when he looked back at me.

His wavy black hair and blue eyes shimmered under the sunlight, his chubby cheeks a little red, probably because of the sun.

"Come here! Let's have a snack!"

He frowned at me and continued what he was doing. I couldn't help but be reminded of Hades because of him.

He's very grumpy and doesn't like playing with other children, but of course that's just because he's quite mature for his age, making me sometimes wonder who his real parents are.

Hmm...perhaps he takes after them?

I sighed and walked outside to approach him.

"Eli, don't you want to eat?" I asked softly, sitting beside him. "I'll cook your favorite chocolate pie if you come with me." I said to him sweetly.

He pouted. "You're only being sweet because you're leaving again. You'll be gone for hours and leave me with some babysitter again."

My lips parted at what he said.

"Shhh...don't say that."

"Hmph! But it's true." He said, and his gaze lowered, looking away.

I couldn't help but feel sad for him. He was going to be left behind again because I have to work.

A month after I found Eli I opened up my own small restaurant. It started good, and over time, the demand got better and before I knew it, it became a huge landmark here in our town.

Though I had to get a huge loan to get started, thankfully, I paid it all off just over a year ago.

"Eli..." I stroked his damp hair, looking at him carefully. "I'm sorry, okay? But this is for us, too. Don't you want to go to school?"

His frown deepened, and his eyes began to well up with tears. My heart ached at the sight. I immediately pulled him close and hugged him. He started to sob, so I closed my eyes.

"I-I won't go to school anymore," he said with a cracking voice while crying. "J-Just please don't leave me. You always leave everyday. Eli is sad."

It felt like a dagger had pierced my chest seeing him cry.

I hugged him even tighter. "Eli, please try to understand for now, okay?" I blinked to stop my own tears from falling.

"Don't you want lots of toys? I'll give them to you."

Eventually, I managed to convince him. He stayed with Blare, our neighbor. She has kids of her own which is why I chose her to babysit so Eli can have friends to play with.

I quickly drove my car to the venue since I was running late. I brought five of my crew with me all in uniform. I couldn't help but feel nervous because it looked like it would be a large party with high profile guests.

Another part of me was anxious, because what if someone recognizes me?

Even though I have changed myself, from the way I dress to the way I talk, I can't change who I am.

Having been introduced to different powerful people by my parents I have nowhere to run if I bump into any one of them.

I thought of just delegating this task, but I also realized that I can't keep running from my past.

I own this so I have to toughen myself up.

If ever I meet someone I know...then I guess I'll just say "hello?". Or probably make a run for it.

I chuckled at the thought.

"Phew! Cassy you can do this. Show those people you can cook!" I yelled like a lunatic as I sped up my car.

We soon all gathered at the mansion of the Baron and quickly started cooking.

"Make sure everything is perfect. The Baron doesn't want to be embarrassed in front of his guests, especially since big investors are arriving," the butler, Etien said, and we all nodded.

I turned to my team and quickly gave a few instructions before everyone headed to their stations.

Everyone was busy preparing appetizers and main courses. It was going smoothly at first but then the stress and tension soon caught up to us.

When night fell, the guests began to arrive. We could clearly hear the sound of laughter and music coming from the garden where the event was being held.

[Boom!]

We all turned to the door to see the butler with an ashen look.

"Sorry to barge in. But we're short on waiters, can someone please help me out here. I'm dying!" Etien said dramatically.

I smiled at him, "Relax Etien, what do you need?"

"Phew! Thank you, darling." He said then his expression shifted again. "Now take these appetizers outside." He instructed and gave me the new fresh batch of macaroons I just made.

I took the tray and went out. I was amazed by the beauty of the garden. There were many lights and decorations all over the place.

I greeted the guests with practiced enthusiasm and everything was going fine. Until all of a sudden, I bumped into someone.

"Oof! Sorry..." I quickly apologized and turned to see the least person I expected to see.

I almost dropped the tray I was holding when I saw him.

He was standing a few feet away. His eyes bore into me as if he could see my soul.

He still held that intense and domineering aura.

I gulped.

"Be careful." He said coldly as I felt water being poured all over me as I snapped back to reality.

I quickly looked down and hid my face with my hair so he wouldn't see me.

It seems he hasn't realized that it was me. Or perhaps he doesn't even remember my face at all.

"Sorry sir." I said quickly, my heart racing.

I quickly turned around and hurried back to the kitchen. I was gasping for breath, and my hands were shaking.

As I was walking, I felt a strange feeling...a feeling I haven't felt for a long time.

Fear.

I couldn't be mistaken. It was him. He hasn't changed one bit.

But what was he doing here? I thought he was in Manila, happy with his life with Klare?

"Cassy, what happened to you? Why are you so pale?" Bea, one of my crew asked me in concern.

I calmed myself down and showed them a smile. "Sorry, it's just crazy out there." I said, and they nodded, chuckling.

"Yeah, a lot of influential people are gathered there. So it really must be suffocating, huh? Even for you." Luna, another one of my crew chimed in and I just bobbed my head up and down, still feeling restless.

I then heard the door open and this time I felt relieved seeing the right person I needed to see right now.

"Is Cassy here?" Jack entered the kitchen, smiling from ear to ear as he spotted me.

He is the baron's son as well as my boyfriend, and most likely the reason why I got offered this rare chance to cook for them tonight.

"Hey, are you okay? You look pale." He asked, cupping my face, looking at me seriously.

I looked at him, and seeing his forest green eyes and soft warm smile made my heart warm, and slowly the tension in my chest slowly dissipated.

"Nothing, just tired I guess." I said.

"Then let's head up and get you some rest. I believe this is the last batch of your dishes, right?" He asked and my team quickly answered for me.

"Hurry and take her away, seeing you all sweet makes me want to jump off a cliff. Bea said and they all laughed.

I also let out a low chuckle and I followed Jack all the way out.