Grandma always said that when she died, she wanted me to scatter her ashes in the sea—that was her wish.
But I couldn't do it.
I was diagnosed with cancer, and I was going to die before her.
To afford the ten thousand dollar-per-dose miracle drug, I willingly undressed and surrendered myself to Aaron.
He said, "Amanda, don't think you can leave me again."
I became his caged bird, and I lied to him, telling him I would stay forever.
***
The night I finished taking care of Grandma's funeral arrangements, I left Romland, leaving only a letter behind.
Missing person posters with my face were plastered all over Edgeville's subway stations.
Aaron was frantically searching for me, but all I wanted was to hide from him.
I am sick and will die soon.
Before that, I have to get rid of the child in my stomach.
The day I went to get an abortion, the doctor insisted the father sign the paperwork.
I hired an actor, but just as he picked up the pen, bodyguards surrounded us.
Before I could react, a cold, familiar voice came from behind me.
"Amanda, it's been only three days, and you've already found our child a new dad?"
Aaron... he found me.
I had chosen a small hospital to avoid being found, but he still tracked me down.
I couldn't escape him.
But I had already made up my mind—no matter what, I was leaving.
I grabbed his hand, his eyes bloodshot with restrained anger.
"Aaron, let's talk."
I smiled at him, already at peace, but he wasn't.
Aaron dragged me into the hospital room.
The moment we entered, his kisses rained down on me in a frenzy.
"Amanda, you're being disobedient. You're trying to run again."
He held me close, and for the first time, I felt his body trembling—he was scared.
"Aaron, I'm not keeping this child, and I don't want you either."
I spoke firmly, but it was as if he hadn't heard. He reached into my clothes, trying to unhook my bra.
"Amanda, if you give birth to our child, you won't leave, right?"
"Now that the old woman is dead, you have something else to hold onto, don't you?"
He... was acting insane.
Desperately, he continued to strip my clothes. I slapped him hard, my disappointment reaching its peak, and tears instantly spilled from my eyes.
"Aaron, listen carefully. I don't want you anymore. You can keep me locked up, but you can't make me stay."
In the three years we were together, he never said it, but I knew he had been watching Grandma secretly all along.
I... wanted to escape.
I was betting on a shred of decency in him.
But he just laughed.
"Amanda, you owe me. Have you forgotten? You'll spend the rest of your life repenting for abandoning me."
He held me tightly, and I couldn't move. I... lost the bet.
He wasn't the Aaron I used to know anymore.
And I really did owe him.
The cheerful, righteous young man who had once told me countless times that he wanted to be a guardian of the nation—he was gone.
Then, my alcoholic father killed someone.
I... couldn't drag Aaron down with me and ruin his reputation.
So, I ran away. I ran for three years.
I owed him.
I knew, the feelings Aaron had for me are nothing more than obsession.
If I were to die by his hands, would that satisfy him just a little?
Aaron took me back to Romland—it was the cage he built for me.
I was his canary, and I belonged there.
A bitter smile tugged at my lips, and Aaron's large hand immediately covered mine.
"Amanda, there are doctors in the villa who will watch over you until you give birth to the baby."
His voice carried a gentle coaxing tone, but his grip on my hand was firm.
He was afraid I would run. I didn't respond and turned my head to look out the car window.
When I left, the flowers outside were still blooming.
Today, they were all wilted.
They were flowers I had planted, one by one, during those long, dull days.
Now, not a single one remained, just like the outcome between Aaron and me.
I can only admit defeat.
"Once the baby is born, we can plant new ones together."
Aaron gently stroked my head, trying to show his care for me.
But I wouldn't live long enough to give birth.
And I wouldn't be keeping this child either.
