I Want A Baby

William stayed out all night. And I didn't sleep all night.

I was not worried about where he was going. Of course, he was at the woman's, with her and their child.

I got off work in the evening and saw William standing in front of my company.

"Don't be mad."

When he saw me, William immediately came to me.

"We're going back to Mom and Dad's for dinner today. Be nice to them, okay?"

I frowned, should I tell them?

Their son had a mistress outside, and she was pregnant.

But they'd always wanted grandchildren. They were probably ecstatic to hear this news.

We arrived at the Cooper residence. Helen and Tyshawn were already waiting for us.

As soon as I walked in the door, Helen rushed over to see me.

I understood what she meant and shook my head. "Not pregnant yet."

Helen walked back into the living room in disappointment. We were in an awkward situation.

Halfway through the meal, we talked about the news of moms protecting their daughters.

"Moms protect their kids. That's instinct," I whispered.

Helen immediately said, "Yes, it's kind of instinctive for a woman to have children and be a mother."

Seeing that I didn't say anything, Tyshawn heaved his fork down.

"Audrey, I shouldn't have said this. But isn't it time for you guys to have a baby?

"When you grow older, it's hard for you to be pregnant."

I squeezed out a smile. "Tyshawn, William said he doesn't want kids."

William's face turned dark when he heard this. He swallowed the food in his mouth hard.

Helen tried to alleviate the awkward situation. "Audrey, forget about William. Let's talk about you. Do you want to see a doctor and have a checkup?"

I thought, 'Helen, there's no need for me to see a doctor. William already has a child.

'Just not in my belly.'

The words were on my lips, but I didn't know how to say them.

After a short time of silence, I suddenly broke into a grin.

"Mom, I can have a baby."

Helen stopped looking at me, and her eyes flicked away.

"It's always necessary for us to have babies. If I can't, won't I be useless?"

William took a bite of food. "Mom, could we stop this conversation?"

Helen's face darkened. "Am I wrong? Did I say something improper?"

She became more and more agitated. "Your father and I are old. We just want to have grandchildren. Are we wrong?"

I pressed my nails into my palms hard. "Helen, don't be mad. We are going to have a baby."

I then looked back at William.

"You decided to be a dink in the first place, didn't you?"

William didn't dare to look at his parents. "I want children too. But..."

This man had gotten so weak that he used me as a shield.

Helen said, "Audrey, it is William's idea. But it's not too late to have a baby, right?"

William suddenly raised his head. "Audrey, I regret it."

"What did you say?"

William didn't dare to look me straight in the eye.

"I said I regretted it, and now I want a child."

I sneered. "I know, you..."

That secret was about to be exposed, but the laughter of Helen and Tyshawn stopped me.

"That's great, William. You and Audrey should try harder.

"It's good that you changed. We're waiting for your good news."

I felt like an outsider when I watched the three of them talking happily.

The feeling was just like seeing William and that woman yesterday.

After dinner, I was in the kitchen washing dishes.

Helen came over and said.​

"Audrey, I don't want to force you, but I hope you can get pregnant soon.

"You'd better have a baby next year."

My nose was sore, and tears fell in the sink.

I wanted a baby too. That was why I went to see a doctor.

If I didn't go to the hospital, I wouldn't have met William and that woman.

"Okay, Helen, I'll talk about it with William."

I raised my hand and wiped my eyes secretly.

When I got home at night, I shrank under the covers and didn't move.

I never questioned William's love for me until I saw him with that woman.

Once upon a time, he was a good husband. I believed he was too busy working.

It turned out he was cheating on me.

William and Tyshawn had a few drinks. Now there was a smell of alcohol all over him.

He hugged me through the covers. Before long, he was about to get in.

"Not now. I have no mood."

My voice was very small, and his hand stopped.

"But I want, honey."

His breath was warm on my ear.

If it was before, I would have agreed.

But knowing that he had already slept with another woman, I wanted him to stay away from me.

"I'm not in the mood, sorry."

Perhaps it was the alcohol that made William lose his mind.

I fought and kicked him hard.

"Audrey! What's wrong with you?"

I stared at him in the dark.

"Don't you know what's wrong with me?"

William froze for a moment, then cursed lowly.

He got up and walked out of the room, grabbed the covers and pillows, and threw the door heavily shut.

It was the second time.

During seven years of marriage, this was the second time William had slammed the door on me.

It was two days after I found out he was cheating on me.

I opened the door to follow him. William was already lying on the couch, his back to me.

"You didn't come home yesterday. Where did you go?"

"Slept in the car."

William answered in a harsh and low voice.

It was hard to believe he ever said he loved me in that voice.

I wanted to ask him who that woman was.

What if it was not like what I had seen?

I went back to bed alone and wept until dawn.

All I could do now was lie to myself.

A Lipstick in the Car

In a daze, I had a dream.

I dreamed that I poked the woman in the belly with a harpoon, blood flowed down, and a baby came out of it.

In the dream I was furious, and the baby laughed and jumped on me.

William came home even later. For the first time, we hit a rocky patch.

After a few more days, he offered to make peace and bought me a bunch of roses.

"Honey, forgive me."

He sat on his knees on the couch and looked at me, his eyes shining like a puppy's.

Before, I would have accepted his apology. Now, my mind was full of that woman's bulging belly.

"Let's have dinner, or the food is getting cold."

He took my hand, and the moment he touched me, I felt my whole body stiffen.

"Honey, don't be mad at me. Cheer up."

William always said nice things to me.

He hugged me gently. My eyes reddened again as I felt a warmth I hadn't experienced in a long time.

"We will celebrate your birthday again in a few days, okay?"

He rested his head on my shoulder.

"Is it that you don't like my gift? That one is the best seller, you know."

William held my face. "If you don't like it, let's buy another gift, okay?"

Was it a coincidence?

Was that bracelet just a best-seller?

I felt a little relieved. Could it be that I was overthinking?

On a weekend, William took me out, saying it was to make up for my birthday.

I smiled and got in the passenger side when I suddenly felt something in the back.

Reaching over, I got a long object.

It was an expensive lipstick that I'd always wanted to buy.

"Wow, honey, is that your surprise?"

I held the lipstick up to William, who stared ahead without looking away.

I couldn't see his expression.

"What is it? I've never seen it before."

He cocked his head and looked away for less than a second.

"Maybe my colleague left it behind. I didn't know."

As if he was afraid I wouldn't believe him, William deliberately raised his voice.

I turned my head, my face pale.

There were scratches all over the lipstick. It looked like it'd been used for a long time.

Just as I looked at it, I smelt the familiar baby soup scent.

"Honey, where do you want to go for a walk?"

William asked me several times before I responded.

"I want to go home."

"What?"

"I said I wanted to go home."

I turned my head, gritting my teeth and blushing miserably.

William frowned. "Audrey, what are you mad about again?"

I reached out and tightened my grip on the handle. "I'm going to jump out of the car if you don't stop."

William pulled over. I opened the door and got out of the car.

I thought he would stop me, but he drove the car away without hesitation. The car quickly disappeared.

I sat on the roadside, tears falling.

At this time, my phone rang. I picked it up, and it was Vivian.

"I finished my task."

She sounded tired.

"That woman's name is Abril, William's business partner."

I fought the urge to cry out. "Thank you."

Vivian seemed to feel my sadness. "Don't be sad. Maybe William doesn't take her seriously.

"I'm sending you the information I found out. Where are you now?"

I shook my hand hard. "I'm near my home. I'll tell you later."

Was I overthinking this?

But from their intimate behaviors and the way they addressed each other, how could it be nothing between them?

It was late at night before William returned. We still didn't talk to each other.

I couldn't sleep and suddenly had the urge to check his phone.

William faced the backrest of the sofa and slept soundly.

I quietly picked up his phone and typed in my birthday.

Wrong password?

I felt stunned.

When did he change his password? Why didn't I know?

I entered William's birthday again. It was still incorrect.

I bit my lip. Several numbers came to me, and I didn't wish my guess was true.

Flipping through the information Vivian had sent me, I got Abril's birthday. It was the 25th of October.

I entered each of these four numbers...

It was correct.

He Left

Things between William and I seemed to get more serious.

The two of us didn't even eat together anymore now since our last fight over that lipstick.

He started coming home late, even staying out all night.

He sent a short message in the middle of the night, telling me he would work late.

After about a week, William couldn't bear it.

One day I had just laid down when he walked in with his quilt and pillow.

I turned my back on William. He lay beside me and hugged me.

"Stop the fight, OK?"

His coaxing tone made me uncomfortable, and I shrugged him off.

"No, you left me on the street. I won't forgive you."

William did the same trick again, wrapping his arms around me so tightly that I couldn't break free.

"I'm sorry, honey."

This time I didn't want to hear his explanations. His gentleness was an excuse for cheating. I was the one who got hurt in the end.

Saying that, William slipped his hand into my pajamas.

I sat up at once. "Don't touch me."

William was dissatisfied. "Audrey, I'm your husband. What's wrong with touching you?"

I sneered. "I'm afraid I'm not the one you want to touch."

Hearing my words, William showed a little panic for a moment.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He resumed that expression and lay down.

"How is your body?"

"What's wrong?"

"Mom let us have a baby as soon as possible."

"I can't get pregnant, you know that."

"Why can't you get pregnant?"

William sat up angrily. "You are a woman. Women can get pregnant."

I squeezed the covers harder to keep from shedding tears in front of him.

Seeing that I didn't say anything, William compromised.

"We can do that." With those words, he fell silent, and before long I could hear his heavy breathing.

I looked at the phone beside William and wondered if I should check it or not.

The last time I checked his phone, I got nothing.

He must have deleted the messages completely.

I couldn't even find the name Abril.

I didn't know what name he used for Abril.

But the whole changing passwords thing had made me crazy.

A man's password could only be his lover's birthday.

However, William's password was changed to Abril's birthday date.

What did that mean? It was obvious.

The image of Abril's bulging belly came back into my mind. A wave of vertigo swept over me.

The next day, our fight continued.

William seemed angry. "I'm your husband and a normal man. If I want to have sex with you, you must agree."

I shielded my body with the covers. "Why?"

It occurred to me at this point that Abril was now pregnant.

Sex was not good for pregnant women. So William hadn't had sex for a long time.

He cared about her. He couldn't let her get hurt. He then came to me.

The cry on the side of my mouth dissolved into a mocking smile. I felt so funny, both William and I.

"Besides, how can we have a baby if you don't sleep with me?"

"William," I called out to him.

"Have you ever thought about finding another woman to have your baby?"

To my surprise, William answered me in silence.

It was only after half a minute that he spoke grimly.

"What you have to do is get pregnant. Don't think about other things."

After that, he started to undo his pajama pants. I was finally on the verge of collapse when he pushed me again.

"Pregnant? Pregnant with what? Didn't you tell me you didn't want kids?

"William, from falling in love to getting married, I've been with you for many years. If I wanted to have a baby, wouldn't I have done it so long ago?

"If you want a baby, you can have a baby yourself. I don't want to. Go find another woman then!"

Bang!

I felt a pain in my face, followed by an indescribable soreness in my nose.

"Audrey, that's enough!"

Just now William threw a pillow at my face in a fit of rage.

Because I said something he didn't want to hear.

When I said this, I felt hurt too.

Something seemed to stab in my heart silently.

I didn't know how long it took, but there was a violent knock on the door in the living room.

"Police, open the door!"

William put on his clothes and ran out, changing into a warm and polite look.

"Good evening, what can I do for you?"

My argument and fight with William had scared the neighbors. They called the police.

The policeman looked warily toward the house. "Why are you arguing in the middle of the night? What happened?"

William rubbed his hands together. "Nothing big deal. My wife quarreled with me. Sorry."

He turned to our neighbors again. "I'm so sorry to have disturbed you."

I took three steps forward. "Why am I the one making a scene?"

William gave an apologetic smile. "Look, she's doing it again. I'm sorry."

I rushed to the neighbors and the police like I was crazy. "Why did we fight? Do you dare tell everyone?"

By the time I calmed down, it was too late. I became an irritable cranky woman in front of everyone.

And William, on the contrary, was a good husband.

The police talked to us. We apologized to the neighbors. They all left.

"You want everyone to think I'm crazy, right?"

I grabbed William's clothes. "I'm your wife. How can you do such a thing to me?"

I knew how desperate I was right now. William's tone turned cold as he watched the neighbors go back.

"I don't want to waste time with you. Think by yourself."

He got dressed as fast as he could and walked out. I sat paralyzed on the floor as if all the strength in my body had been taken away with William.

I should find him. If I couldn't find William, I could come to Abril.

In the dim light, I opened Abril's profile once more.

It had her phone number on it.

I kept it in mind and then searched for information about Abril on all platforms.

Finally, I got Abril's Twitter account.

Looking at the pictures, I felt angry at first, and then cold.

How many times did William say he worked overtime? But he was actually with Abril.

Although the pictures showed no faces, I could determine that the one Abril was embracing was William by his clothing and hand.

How many nights before leaving, he kissed me tenderly? And then he turned to indulge in the love of Abril.

I smiled bitterly as I looked at Abril's account.

I was kind of mad.

Just before I turned off my phone, Abril's Twitter was updated.

It was a photo taken under a desk lamp with dim ambiguous lighting.

"It's a great blessing for me that when I think of you, you just show up."

In the photo, Abril snuggled on a man's shoulder, full of happiness on her face.

I knew that shoulder. It belonged to my husband who had just left the house.

William's...