Looking back now, I realized those tears must have been for Luigi Collins and the words he had left her with.
In her best years, she did not marry the man she truly loved. I had to say that this kind of regret was one of life’s greatest sorrows.
And now, as her life drew closer to its end, she refused to carry that regret to her grave. That was why she made the will, to ensure she could rest beside Luigi Collins in death.
As I stood there lost in thought, I caught sight of her struggling to drag her suitcase out of the bedroom, the streaks of white in her hair at her temples more pronounced under the light.
My chest tightened and I felt a sudden sting in my eyes.
No matter what had happened, she was the woman who had shared my bed and my life for decades. She had given so much to this family and her sacrifices were not small.
I could not help but say, "Let me take you to the airport."
"Just so I can say goodbye."
She was ready to refuse, but after a moment, she nodded silently.
On the drive to the airport, she sat in the back seat, silently gazing out the window. I stayed quiet, feeling more like a taxi driver than her husband.
Every so often, I glanced at her profile through the rearview mirror and mixed feelings surged in my heart.
Questions burned in my chest. What did our years of marriage mean to her? What about the family we built together?
And what about the love I had poured into her?
However, I swallowed the words, holding them back.
Because there was a smile on her face that I had never seen before. It was a smile that radiated pure joy like a young girl’s.
Even in the best moments when I thought she was happiest, she had never smiled like this.
When the car pulled up to the airport, Wanda stepped out quickly, dragging her suitcase behind her and not even saying goodbye.
Her steps were brisk and determined.
She was running toward her happiness, finally free of the cage she believed had restrained her for decades.
Watching her retreating figure, I felt a deep, unshakable sadness.
Decades of my devotion, my unreserved love...
All of it… meant nothing.
When she left, she did not hesitate or show even the slightest trace of nostalgia.
It was as if every moment with me had been a burden.
Returning home, I felt hollow as I sat in the wicker chair by the window, gazing out at the golden autumn leaves for the entire afternoon.
I tried reasoning with myself, telling myself to let go.
But it was harder than I imagined.
Each minute after her departure felt like an eternity of quiet suffering.
I tried not to think of her, but questions circled endlessly in my head.
Had she arrived safely in Estoria?
She always feared the cold. Had she dressed warmly enough?
The food there was so different from what she was used to. Could she adapt?
Would she miss our son, grandsons and... me?
Frustrated, I wanted to slap myself in the face for my weakness.
I called myself a fool, a pathetic dog chasing after someone who did not care.
Wake up, Ethan Mitchell!
Wanda doesn't love you anymore.
Or perhaps she never did.
I had been nothing more than a replacement for Luigi Collins.
Three days passed in a haze of emptiness. Then, finally, my phone buzzed with an update from Wanda’s social media.
For a fleeting moment, I felt relief that she had not blocked me.
But when I opened the post, it felt like the ground beneath me had vanished.
There was only one photo.
In a snowy, antique mansion, Wanda sat in a beautiful bright red dress, radiant and poised beside Luigi.
Behind them stood a crowd of people, their faces glowing with joy.
And among them were my son, my daughter-in-law and my two grandsons.
They were all there, smiling with pure happiness.
My chest tightened painfully as though a heavy stone had settled on it, making it hard to breathe.
No wonder they had not come to see me in the past few days and they had not even called me once. They had gone to Estoria to see Luigi, keeping me in the dark.
It turned out that Wanda was not the only one who stabbed me with betrayal.
I raised my head and looked at the framed photo on the wall.
The photo on the wall was taken during last year’s spring festival.
In the picture, Wanda was not smiling even for the slightest. Also, the others wore smiles that felt forced, almost mechanical.
I was the only one seated in the center, grinning like a fool.
Now that I could see it clearly, it was painfully obvious how ironic and absurd the whole scene was.
Unable to hold back, I picked up my phone and dialed Lucas.
The call connected quickly, but I could not hear any traces of any guilt from Lucas at all. Instead, his voice brimmed with excitement. "Dad, you really should come to Estoria to visit!"
"The winter here is truly beautiful. Snow blankets everything as far as the eye can see like the world has been covered in silver."
"Mr. Collins took us to visit so many scenic spots and Xavion and Xavier are having the time of their lives."
"I can’t talk much longer, Dad. We’re about to go dog sledding and Mr. Collins is already calling for us."
Then came the beep of the disconnected line as bitterness welled up inside me.
Several times, I thought of calling Wanda. My thumb hovered over her number, ready to press, but every time, I stopped myself.
We had agreed to part ways. I had no right to disturb her anymore.
Just as I was about to put the phone down, it rang. The screen lit up with her name.
"Yes, Wanda?"
"Ethan, it’s me, Luigi Collins."
I froze, my earlier excitement turning into confusion.
"Wanda is out playing with the boys, so she asked me to call and let you know everything is fine."
This was the first time I had ever spoken to Luigi.
I only knew him as Wanda’s first love and her junior high school classmate. People said he was gentle and easygoing.
"Ethan, I want to apologize to you first."
"It was my idea to invite Lucas and his family to Estoria to visit."
"I thought about informing you beforehand, but Wanda insisted it wasn’t necessary."
"She said the children are grown now and can make their own decisions."
"She didn’t think every family matter needed to go through you."
"Ethan, you’re not upset about this, are you?"
I clenched my teeth, struggling to keep my voice steady as pain and anger swirled inside me.
His polite tone masked something sharper, a provocation disguised as a courtesy.
Taking a deep breath, I forced a calm tone. "No, as long as they’re happy."
Luigi chuckled lightly. "Haha, that’s good to hear. Then I can rest assured."
"Ethan, I must thank you."
"Really, thank you for taking such good care of Wanda all these years. You’ve been a responsible and kind man."
"And actually, Wanda and I are planning to get married next week."
"If it’s convenient, we’d love for you to come to our wedding."
My fist clenched so hard that my nails dug into my palm.
Before I could even respond, I heard Wanda’s voice in the background.
"Luigi, who are you talking to on the phone?"
In the next moment, the call disconnected abruptly.
It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room, leaving me hollow and drained. Slowly, I sank onto the sofa.
The weight of loneliness and coldness pressed down on me.
I did not drink a drop of water for the rest of the day.
Late into the night, my phone buzzed with a message from Wanda.
[Ethan, are you asleep?]
I forced myself to pick up the phone and her familiar avatar stared back at me, stirring a storm of emotions inside.
My fingers trembled for a long time until I fell asleep before replying.
[If you’re awake, I’d like to discuss something with you.]
Her tone was so familiar, just like in the past when she would bring up important family matters for us to decide together.
I frowned and replied, [There’s nothing to discuss. We’re divorced. You can marry whoever you want.]
[That’s not what I wanted to talk about. Luigi has never been married and he doesn’t have any children. So I want Lucas to change his surname, along with Xavion and Xavier.]
The anger I had just suppressed instantly surged back, raging in my chest.
I never imagined that Wanda would dare to make such an audacious request.
Not only did she want to marry Luigi, but she also expected all our son and grandsons to take his surname, leaving me as a lonely old man.
My hands shook as I dialed her number and I nearly shouted, "Wanda Larson, do you even realize what you're asking?"
"After decades of marriage, is there truly no love left between us? Must you drive me to death to feel satisfied?"
Her voice was calm and collected, as if she had anticipated my fury. "Ethan, I’m not commanding you. I’m just discussing it. Before you lose your temper, maybe you should ask the boys for their opinion. They’re adults now, so they have their own minds. Don’t you think you’ve controlled them enough over the years?"
I snapped. " I don’t need to ask. And I certainly won’t agree to this!"
"The blood that runs in our children’s veins is Mitchell’s family blood. That’s their heritage, their legacy!"
"They’ll change their surname to Collins over my dead body!"
Before she could respond, I abruptly hung up.
The phone buzzed repeatedly as she tried to call back, refusing to give in. It was not until I blocked her number that the house finally grew silent again.
I stared at the emptiness that had settled in my home, feeling more isolated than ever before.
The next morning, I began clearing out all of Wanda’s belongings. Once the house was stripped of her traces, it felt less suffocating.
I did not sleep the entire night. My thoughts swirled endlessly until a quiet clarity emerged.
A person cannot live solely for love, especially not for someone who doesn’t love you back.
I reminded myself that I was only sixty-three, still young enough to start anew. I resolved to live each day well and to be kind to myself.
Without hesitation, I signed up for a senior tour group. The chosen route was to the Great Northwind.
The Silkrana Road and the vast Loessara Plateau had long captivated me since I was young. But every time I brought up the idea in the past, Wanda dismissed it. She had no interest in barren places, let alone deserts.
Now, with her gone, I could finally go by myself.
Just as I was about to embark on this long-awaited journey, my phone rang. Lucas’s voice came through from the phone.
He spoke tearfully, "Dad, Mom is in the hospital!"
"Dad, Mom is in the hospital! She’s been diagnosed with advanced gastric cancer. The doctor said she has maybe half a month left. Please, come quickly!"
For days, I had convinced myself that I had let go of everything. However, upon hearing the news about Wanda Larson, I felt a pang of helplessness.
Without hesitation, I canceled my trip and booked the earliest flight to Estoria.
When I rushed into the hospital ward, what I saw left me frozen in place.
Lying on the hospital bed, hooked up to an oxygen tube, was Luigi.
Wanda stood alongside our son and grandsons, their faces pale and worn with exhaustion.
Realizing I had been deceived, anger flared in me. I turned around, ready to leave, but Wanda blocked my path. "Ethan, please listen to me first."
"It’s not me who’s terminally ill. It’s Luigi."
"It was my idea for Feng'er to lie to you."
"I asked Lucas to lie to you. I knew you wouldn’t come otherwise."
I stared at her coldly: "Wanda Larson, we are divorced!"
"What do you want from me? Can’t you just let me go?"
Her tears fell freely now. "Ethan, in all the years we were married, I never begged you for anything. This is the first and the last time I’ll ask. "
"He doesn’t have much time left. The doctor said it could be any day now."
"I don’t want him to leave this world with regrets."
"Ethan, I beg you. I will even kneel."
"Just promise me you’ll allow our son and grandsons to change their surnames!"