I looked at Eva.

Eva was the department's beauty, gorgeous and elegant. She was the type James had casually mentioned he liked before.

Then I looked at myself in the mirror.

I was very fair-skinned, looking quite innocent. But nowhere near gorgeous and elegant.

"If he says he likes you, he must be serious."

James's principle was to never settle for less.

So for years, no matter how much his friends teased, he never considered trying things with me.

He remained single until Eva appeared out of nowhere, and he became passionate and focused.

James was indeed serious.

He was so busy, but now he seemed to have all the time.

Eva's laughter echoed in the dorm all day.

Eva sweetly complained to me, "You liar, you told me he was very busy. But he picks up my calls instantly. We talked until his phone died."

I had nothing to say.

Because I had just found out too.

His busyness was only towards me.

Eva was lively and generous.

She was open about her relationships, sharing her affection with others.

I was the matchmaker for her and James.

I became her main confidant.

Every time Eva came back from a date with James, she'd tell me about his tenderness.

She'd say James would carry her while hiking.

She'd say James would bend down to tie her shoes.

She'd say when she posted about wanting coffee from Eastside, James would drive from Westside to buy it for her.

I was dazed because this wasn't the James I remembered.

The James I remembered was aloof, proud, and noble. He was someone who seemed to never serve anyone.

Eva said, "I also told him I flaunt our love in front of you daily."

Eva suddenly leaned towards me. "James is so great. Why didn't you keep him for yourself and introduce him to me instead?"

Her gaze was scrutinizing.

For a moment, I panicked.

Last time, after James treated Eva and me to spaghetti, he left me alone.

"Don't let Eva realize you like me."

I was stunned. "Why?"

"I don't want you to be an obstacle in my pursuit of Eva."

I looked up at him. "Can you pursue someone else?"

My voice was humble and pleading.

I liked him. I had liked him for ten years.

I didn't know when it started. But I got used to following James, watching his back, following his steps.

He got into this city, so I followed and got into this city.

He studied computer science, so I studied computer science.

I knew he didn't like me and would eventually meet someone, date, get married, and have kids.

But could it be a bit later, or farther away?

It's not right in front of me.

James's tone was a bit impatient. "No."

I didn't speak. I just looked at him.

James seemed to sigh. He hesitated for a moment, then reached out and rubbed my head. His voice was low and pleasant. "I've never liked anyone this much. Please cooperate and don't be an obstacle between Eva and me."

The words 'please' sounded like a request, but I couldn't hear any pleading tone. It seemed he already knew I wouldn't refuse.

He always had the upper hand with me.

And he indeed always had the upper hand.

Because of James' plea, I went along with it.

Every day I smiled and listened to Eva talk about how good James was to her. It felt like my heart was being torn apart. My nails almost dug into my palms, but I still smiled and went along with it.

I didn't dare show my jealousy.

Even though I was sure that if Eva knew I liked James, she wouldn't care and would confidently say, "Sorry, but James likes me."

But still, I continued.

Because James would be unhappy.

Facing Eva's scrutiny, I put on my biggest smile. "I introduced him to you because I don't like him."

Eva said, "Really?"

"Really."

Eva affectionately pinched my nose and said meaningfully, "That's good. Otherwise, I'd feel like a bad person for showing off my love in front of you."

I smiled. "How could you be a bad person?"

"You're the one James likes. You're the luckiest person."

"Since you don't like him, we will bring you along on our dates. You wouldn't mind, right?"

I couldn't smile anymore and murmured, "I don't mind."

I went from just listening to her talk about her love with James to actually being involved and watching it firsthand.

James was just as gentle as Eva described.

No, even more so.

When eating, he would personally tie an apron around Eva.

When crossing the street, he would hold her hand and slow his pace to match hers.

Then he would take her to the flower shop and buy her favorite lilies.

Eva would smile happily and say, "How did you know lilies are my favorite?"

"Because I like lilies too. We have the same tastes."

I watched silently.

"No, that's not true.

James doesn't like lilies."

When I finished my college entrance exams at eighteen, I brought a bunch of lilies to see James.

I wanted to say, "I got into your university. I like you a lot. Can you give me a chance?"

James looked at the flowers I was holding and seemed to know what I wanted to say.

He knocked the flowers out of my hands and interrupted my confession.

He frowned and said, "Why buy those? They're delicate and hard to take care of."

After saying that, he turned away. He was stopping my confession in its tracks.

Until now, I haven't been able to say it.

That night, after James dropped Eva off at her dorm, he sent me a message. He told me to come downstairs and warned, "Stop following us on our dates."

I said, "It's not me following you. It's Eva who wants me to come along."

James got angry. "Can't you refuse?"

James wasn't the type to get angry. Over the years, he had been impatient and annoyed but never really angry at me.

This was the first time.

I thought about it and said, "Eva knows I like you."

This was the first time James got angry at me, and it was also the first time I told him I liked him.

I had imagined countless times how to say "I like you."

I thought it would be romantic. Even though James didn't care, I liked preparing little romantic gestures for him.

I flew a paper plane with a smiley face from his window to his desk.

On the day I planned to confess, I folded 520 little hearts day and night and secretly stuffed them into his bed.

Every year on James's birthday, I not only gave him a gift but also drew him a picture.

The drawing had him in it, with a little me looking at him from behind.

My love was never loud or outspoken.

But it was expressed countless times in silence.

I looked at James intently.

I was waiting for him to respond to my first confession.

James looked at me and tapped my forehead.

Just like when we were kids, I would follow him around. I was smiling foolishly, and he would tap my forehead.

Back then, he would say, "Go play," with a bit of a doting tone.

But now, his eyes were filled with irritation. "How could you be so stupid to let her find out?"

I didn't know what to say.

I just felt my heart ache as if it was about to stop beating.

James continued, "If you mess up our relationship, see how I'll deal with you."

James walked away with big strides.

I went back too.

That night, lying in bed, I heard James's voice message to Eva.

His breath was faint, smiling, gentle, and affectionate.

"Good night, sweetheart."

It was the kind of gentleness and affection I never had.

At that moment, I realized I regretted it.

I regretted introducing Eva to James because I feared he'd dislike me.

I regretted posting that picture with Eva on Twitter.

I even regretted falling for him.

Eva climbed onto my bed, laughing. "Your childhood friends are visiting the city. James is taking me to meet them tomorrow. You should come with us."

I ignored her and turned away to sleep.

The next day, James called, "Come with Eva at noon."

He was bossy as if he knew I wouldn't argue once he asked.

I really couldn't argue and followed the well-dressed Eva to meet James's friends.

They were our mutual childhood friends.

When they saw me, they joked as usual. "Hey, James. Hey, Alice."

Eva's face turned pale instantly.

James clicked his tongue and held Eva's hand. "Stop calling her that. This is your sister-in-law."

He hugged Eva and kissed her forehead.

I stood frozen, silently watching the sweet couple with our childhood friends.

I understood why James wanted me there.

He thought my deep feelings for him would affect his relationship with Eva.

So he publicly exposed my feelings for him in front of everyone.

He also made it clear that he didn't like me to give Eva a sense of security.

It was indirectly making me give up.

Facing the sympathetic or pitying looks from our friends who knew about my silent love for James for years, I realized my last bit of hope was completely shattered.

But strangely, I felt a calmness I had never experienced before.

I gave a small smile and turned to leave, but my wrist was grabbed.

The skin was warm to the touch.

I looked up and saw Zac.

Zac pulled me behind him. He was smiling as he looked at everyone, stopping at James's face. "It's not a joke. Alice is indeed their sister-in-law because I'm pursuing her."

Zac led me out of the room.

Zac let go of my hand. He leaned against the hallway wall, looked at me for a long time. He then bent down to meet my eyes and softly called my name.