After returning home, I washed up and went straight to bed.

In the middle of the night, I heard something.

I was a light sleeper. Since I started dating Lara, I always took care of her when she was asleep, as she always liked to drool and roll up the quilt.

It had been a long time since I had a complete sleep.

In the dark night, I could clearly feel someone staring at me.

It was Lara.

Being awakened in the middle of the night and being stared at, I felt extremely annoyed.

But after a long day, I really didn't want to deal with her head-on, so I continued to pretend to sleep.

What's wrong with Lara?

It's so late. She went back late at night, and instead of going to sleep, she kept staring at me?

I didn't wait for her on the couch this time, didn't question her in a disappointed tone, and didn't humbly beg her to focus on me.

She was disappointed because of that?

Shouldn't she be happy? After all, this was what she expected, right?

Before, I would have a big fight with her hysterically and ask her if she could love me a little more with red eyes.

I didn't want for much. I just wanted her to care about me just a little bit.

But she had always been standing aside with indifference, looking at me with disdain and mockery as if I were a clown.

Now I thought it through. There were countless women in this world, and some of them didn't deserve to be loved. Why couldn't I let go?

There was nothing uglier than a meltdown. Even I hated myself when I had one.

The next morning, I didn't get up an hour earlier to cook breakfast for Lara as usual. I went to work directly.

I had to say that it felt great to sleep an extra hour in the morning!

In the past, Lara didn't want to get up early for breakfast, and she was very picky about the appearance and taste of breakfast. For her sake, I had to get up early every day to make breakfast for her.

Over the years, my cooking skills had improved by leaps and bounds, and I could make exquisite breakfasts that were different every day for 365 days.

But Lara rarely showed appreciation. She either got up late or couldn't stand the smell of eggs...

So, why should I be a simp?

Lara walked out of the room and saw the empty table, and her expression changed.

She took a few deep breaths and adjusted her expression as she walked towards me.

She took out a box from her pocket, and inside was a Casio watch.

My watch had been broken for over half a year, and I had been wanting to buy a new one.

It took Lara half a year to realize it?

Or she had realized it, but she pretended that she didn't know?

Lara saved money for half a year to buy Austin an entry-level Rolex for his birthday last year.

What did she say at that time?

She said, "Austin is an adult, and he should look decent when he's out. Besides, as his friend, I can't be so stingy!"

"Danny, sorry for standing you up yesterday.

"It's just... It was raining heavily, and Austin broke his leg. As a friend, I felt bad if I didn't take care of him. You don't mind, do you?"

In the past, I'd definitely mind.

But now I had thought it through. What was the big deal?

Besides, this had happened countless times already.

"You don't need to explain. I get it. One will feel indeed helpless if he's hurt and alone. You should be with him. Alright then. I have to go to work. Talk to you..."

"Danny..." Lara pulled my sleeve and wouldn't let me go.

"Anything else?"

"I haven't had breakfast yet!" She closed her eyes. Finally, she decided to say.

"I know. Why don't you go out there and find some joint? I'm busy. I don't have time to cook breakfast anymore."

"But the food outside isn't healthy..."

This time, I didn't respond to her anymore. I left her with the sound of my hurried footsteps and the sight of my back.

After that day, Lara and I stopped talking to each other again.

Before, whenever we faced such a situation, I would become easily irritable and emotionally unstable.

I spent every day thinking about how to make up with Lara ASAP, and this seriously affected my work progress.

But now, I felt incredibly relaxed.

Finally, after I went home, I didn't have to act all hypocritical and take the initiative to talk to her.

Finally, I could sleep in the room alone without being disturbed at night.

Finally, I wouldn't be disturbed by her affair with the others.

Finally, I could do my own things without being disturbed.

After I let go of the obsession or care for Lara, life became much easier.

Now that she was no longer the center of my life, I suddenly felt much more relaxed.

I finished reading quite a lot of books in less than three days. In the past, it would take me more than a year.

When I was at work, I noticed that the girl at the next desk was preparing hard for the civil service exam.

The way she immersed herself in studying made me feel ashamed.

Even a girl who had just graduated knew that she should study hard. She shouldn't waste her prime years and should strive to improve herself.

On the contrary, I wasted my time in the entanglement with Lara, muddleheaded all day long.

For a while, I even thought that if I married Lara one day, we would have a child.

If Lara wanted me to stay at home full-time to take care of the child, that was OK.

The girl was studying hard at the desk, and on the contrary, I was dragged down by love and had achieved nothing.

I made up my mind to change myself.

I bought a set of study materials and made a corresponding plan for myself to be a civil servant every day.

After working overtime every day, I plunged into the study and frantically read books about the civil service exam.

I was glad that Lara and I weren't talking to each other these days. She would not come to disturb me in the study, making my efficiency even higher.

We didn't talk for almost a month.

In the early morning, I took my bag and was about to leave when Lara suddenly appeared and stopped me.

"I didn't come home last night. Aren't you worried about me, Danny?"

I was stunned. I didn't care about her whereabouts at all, so how could I know that she didn't come back all night last night?

"I drank too much last night. I was worried that if I came back, I might wake you up, so I asked Austin to send me to a nearby hotel..."

When she said that, she stared at me without blinking.

I knew she was trying to use Austin to provoke me.

What kind of expression on my face was she expecting to see?

Grievance? Anger? Or perhaps disappointment?

But she would be disappointed this time.

"You didn't come back last night?" My tone was indifferent, showing no emotion.

Lara's eyes turned red in an instant, and tears were welling up in her eyes.

Before, I was the one with the mood swings, while Lara always remained indifferent.

Now that our roles had reversed, I felt no pity for her. I was filled with indescribable restlessness.

She stared at me, her big eyes teary. It seemed she was waiting for me to admit I was wrong.

Unfortunately, I couldn't understand what she meant, and I didn't want to.

"I'll pick you up after work today!"

Instinctively, I wanted to say no.

"No need. I have to work overtime today."

"Till when?"

"Eight o'clock. It'll be late. You don't have to come pick me up. It's too troublesome."

"I'll wait for you downstairs at eight o'clock!" She quickly ran away as if afraid of being rejected by me.

In order to get my story straight, I took out the review materials and studied hard in the office after work.

I was so involved that I lost track of time.

"Hey, Danny, are you still busy? We're downstairs."

It was Austin. He always used his cleverness to subtly mock that I was inferior to him.

I went downstairs and naturally sat in the back seat after opening the car door.

As long as Austin was there, I'd never sit in the front passenger seat.

I did question Lara.

"Have you ever considered my feelings when you let your male best friend sit in the front passenger seat?"

"Danny, you're a grown man, OK? Stop being so petty. Austin gets carsick. Can't you humor him? There's nothing between me and him..."

I said nothing after I got in the car.

Austin said.

"Danny, why the silence? Please don't get us wrong. I drank today and couldn't drive. Lara was so worried about me that she insisted on picking me up."

I closed my eyes and rested. I was too tired after studying all day, so I really didn't have the energy to watch the clown performance in the passenger seat.

"The crabs at that restaurant today were delicious. Let's go again someday."

"Austin, thanks for peeling the crabs for me, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to eat them at all."

"You silly girl..."

They in front were chatting casually.

I was dozing off in the back seat. They were so noisy!

Austin suddenly turned to me.

"Lara loves crabs but doesn't want to peel. Danny, you must have helped her peel at home a lot, right?"

Obviously, he was being sarcastic.

In the past, whenever we ordered crabs, I would pick up the special tools and start peeling them for here. I would carefully put the crab meat onto her plate.

I still remembered. She put down the fork and pushed the plate filled with crab meat a little further away.

"Are you deliberately trying to embarrass me in front of so many people? I have hands. I can peel them myself!"

She didn't love me, so everything I did was wrong.

After that, I never peeled crabs for her again.