Chapter 4

A woman in a diamond necklace leaned forward. Her smile was sharp. 'Have you ever hurt someone who couldn't defend themselves?'

I went still.

Not tense. Still. The way I learned in the snake pit when I was nine years old. The way you hold your breath underwater. The way you stop being a target by stopping being a thing that moves.

The room leaned in with her.

'Yes,' I said.

The word dropped like a stone.

Someone gasped. Someone else laughed — high and delighted. A man in the back called out, 'Oh, this is good.'

The woman's smile widened. 'Who was it?'

I didn't answer.

Calum stepped closer. 'Come on. You have to tell us. That's the game.'

I looked at him. At the crowd pressing forward with their phones raised. At the faces bright with something that wasn't curiosity. It was hunger.

I thought about my stepmother's assistant. The man who shoved me into the pit and broke his leg trying to climb out when my father's security arrived. The way he screamed. The way I didn't.

I thought about the snake that bit him because he moved too fast.

I thought about the fact that no one in this room would believe me if I told them. Or worse — they'd believe me and still find a way to make it my fault.

'I answered,' I said quietly. 'I said yes.'

The crowd murmured. Disappointed. They wanted details. They wanted blood.

Grant's voice cut through. 'Holland.'

I turned.

He was standing next to Lilith, champagne glass in hand. His jaw was tight. His eyes were hard.

'Just answer the question,' he said.

Not a request. A command.

I looked at him. At the man who told me he loved me three years ago in a coffee shop that smelled like rain. At the man who forgot our anniversary this morning. At the man who was looking at me now like I was a stain on his shirt.

'Don't embarrass me,' he said. Quieter. Like that made it better.

I checked my phone under the table. Six hours, fifty-two minutes.

I could do this. I could stay quiet. I could smile and deflect and let them think whatever they wanted to think.

But I was so tired.

'A disabled person,' I said.

The room exploded.

Voices crashed over each other. Gasps. Laughter. Someone said, 'Oh my God.' Someone else said, 'I knew it.'

Lilith pressed both hands to her mouth. Her eyes went wide. 'Holland. That's... that's horrible.'

Grant's face drained white. Then flushed red.

He crossed the room in three strides.

His hand closed around my wrist. Hard. His fingers dug in.

'What is wrong with you?' he hissed.

I looked down at his hand. Then up at his face.

'Let go,' I said.

He didn't.

The slap came fast.

Open palm. Across my cheek. The sound cracked through the ballroom like a gunshot.

My head snapped to the side. My ear rang. I tasted copper.

The room went silent.

Grant's voice shook. 'You're done. We're done. If you say one more word—'

I touched my cheek. It was hot. My fingers came away clean. No blood. Just the burn.

I looked at him.

His chest was heaving. His face was twisted into something I'd never seen before. Or maybe I had. Maybe I'd just been very good at not looking directly at it.

'Do you understand me?' he said.

I checked my phone. Six hours, forty-nine minutes.

I smiled.

'Okay,' I said softly.

He blinked. Let go of my wrist. Stepped back.

He turned to Lilith. His voice shifted. Smooth again. Apologetic. 'I'm sorry. She's not usually like this.'

Lilith touched his arm. 'It's okay. I understand.'

I walked back to my seat. The crowd parted. No one met my eyes.

I sat down.

A memory surfaced. Sharp and uninvited.

Our second anniversary. I made reservations at the Italian place Grant liked. The one with the candles in wine bottles and the owner who remembered your name. I bought a new dress. I left work early.

Grant called thirty minutes before we were supposed to leave.

'Hey. So. Change of plans. Mike texted about this gallery opening. It's kind of a big deal. Rain check?'

I stood in the kitchen. The table was already set. The pasta was in the pot.

'Okay,' I said.

'You're the best,' he said. He hung up.

I put the food in the refrigerator. I folded the napkins. I blew out the candles.

I sat at the table alone and told myself it was fine.

Another memory. Sharper.

Grant's office building. Marble lobby. Security desk. I met him there once for lunch.

We stepped into the elevator. A colleague got in with us. Pressed a button. Nodded at Grant.

Grant smiled. 'Hey, Tom.'

Tom glanced at me. 'This your—'

'Just a friend,' Grant said quickly. He didn't look at me.

The elevator doors opened. Tom got off.

Grant turned to me. 'You should wait outside next time. Your clothes are... you know. Not quite right for the lobby.'

I looked down at my jeans. My sweater. The coat I'd bought on sale.

'Okay,' I said.

He kissed my forehead. 'Thanks for understanding.'

I blinked. The memory dissolved.

I was back in the ballroom. My cheek still burned. The crowd was talking again. Laughing. Moving on.

Grant stood next to Lilith. He wasn't looking at me.

I checked my phone.

Six hours, forty-three minutes.

I waited.

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Chapter 5

Lilith crossed the room like she was floating. Her dress caught the light. Her smile was soft and wide and empty.

She stopped in front of me. Leaned down. Her perfume was thick. Floral. The kind that costs more than my rent used to.

'Holland,' she said. Her voice was sugar. 'You've been such a good sport. I wanted to thank you personally.'

She gestured to a server. He appeared with a plate. White porcelain. Elegant. On it sat an arrangement of mushrooms. Pale caps. Delicate stems. Garnished with herbs and a drizzle of something dark and glossy.

Lilith set it in front of me herself. Her fingers lingered on the rim of the plate.

'I had these prepared just for you,' she said. 'They're a delicacy. Very rare. Very special.'

She straightened. Clasped her hands at her chest. Waited.

I looked at the plate.

The mushrooms were beautiful. Almost luminous in the low light. The caps had a faint yellow tinge at the edges. The stems were smooth. Too smooth.

I leaned forward slightly. Breathed in.

Beneath the garnish, beneath the oil and herbs, there was something else. Faint. Sweet. The smell of decay wrapped in perfume.

*Amanita phalloides.*

Death caps.

I'd seen them before. In the field guide my father gave me when I was twelve. On a conservation trip in Oregon when I was sixteen. In the hands of a mycologist in Prague who told me, very carefully, that half a cap could destroy a liver in seventy-two hours.

I looked up at Lilith.

She was smiling. Eyes wide. Waiting for me to take a bite.

I looked back at the plate.

Then I checked my phone.

I kept it in my lap. Screen angled away from the crowd. The timer read 00:01:47.

One minute. Forty-seven seconds.

I set the phone down. Folded my hands. Looked at the mushrooms again.

The room had gone quiet. Not silent. Just quieter. People were watching now. Sensing something without knowing what.

Lilith tilted her head. 'You don't like them?'

'They're beautiful,' I said.

Her smile widened. 'Then eat.'

I didn't move.

She leaned in. Her voice dropped. Still sweet. Still soft. But there was an edge now. Thin as a razor. 'Everyone's watching, Holland. Don't be rude.'

I looked at her. At the face she'd built. The mask she wore so long it had fused to her skin.

I checked my phone again. 00:00:58.

Fifty-eight seconds.

I could feel my heartbeat. Steady. Slow. The way it used to beat in the snake pit when I was nine. When I learned that survival was just another name for patience.

Lilith straightened. Turned to the crowd. 'Holland's just being shy. She's had such a long day.'

Someone laughed. Nervous. Uncertain.

Grant was at the bar. His back to me. He was talking to someone. Smiling. He hadn't looked over once.

I checked the timer. 00:00:32.

Thirty-two seconds.

I thought about the snake pit. About lying still for hours. About the assistant who shoved me in and the snake that bit him when he moved too fast. About my father's voice on the phone afterward, quiet and tired: *'You did what you had to do.'*

I thought about Grant. About three years of making myself smaller. About anniversary dinners I ate alone. About the elevator where he called me a friend. About the slap that still burned on my cheek.

I thought about the watch on his nightstand. The one I'd never see again.

I checked the timer. 00:00:11.

Ten seconds.

The room was watching now. All of them. Phones up. Faces bright.

Lilith's smile was starting to crack at the edges. Just a little. Just enough.

I looked at the mushrooms. At the plate. At the careful arrangement designed to kill me slowly enough that no one would connect it to this moment.

I looked at the timer.

00:00:03.

00:00:02.

00:00:01.

Zero.

I stood.

I reached down. Gripped the edge of the banquet table with both hands.

And I flipped it.

The table went over in one clean motion. Plates exploded across the marble. Glasses shattered. Silverware clattered and spun. Lilith's mushrooms skidded across the floor in a spray of oil and herbs.

The room went dead silent.

I stood in the wreckage. Water still dripping from my hair. My cheek still burning. My hands steady.

I looked at Grant.

He'd turned. Finally. His face was blank. Confused. He opened his mouth.

I spoke first.

'Grant Stephens,' I said. My voice was quiet. Clear. 'We're done.'

He blinked. 'What?'

'We're done,' I said again. 'You and me. Finished.'

The crowd murmured. Phones swung toward me.

Grant's face flushed red. He crossed the room. Stopped three feet away.

'You're breaking up with me?' He laughed. Sharp. Mean. 'After I brought you here? After I—'

'Yes,' I said.