"Nicole, I checked the weather forecast, it's going to rain there today. Remember to take an umbrella and a coat when you go out. If you catch a cold, your aunt will be worried."
So it was Nicole, no wonder she was smiling so happily.
After the college entrance exam, my mom gave Nicole twenty thousand dollar to go out and relax for a few days.
Nicole saw me through the video and greeted me with a raised voice, "Cousin, the scenery here is great, there are durians everywhere, your favorite. Next time, our whole family should come and play together."
"I'm not your cousin, and I don't like durian."
My mom gave me a glare, turned her phone away. "Nicole, don't mind her. People like her don't deserve to be with you, don't let her infect you with her filth."
My mom chatted with Nicole for more than ten minutes, during which time, she was almost blind with laughter.
After it ended, she still seemed unsatisfied, her face full of pride.
"With someone as terrible as you at home, Nicole can still be so outstanding and sensible. It's really a case of comparing goods and dying when compared to people."
I turned to look at her and asked, "Do you really hope I die?"
My mom didn't look up, her hands busy scrolling through the photos Nicole had posted on her friend's circle, liking each one.
"Yes, I want you to die, will you?"
"But, if you continue to be so ill-mannered, you will be killed by people outside in society."
"Do you think people outside will be as patient as me in teaching you, who do you think you are?"
"Before you speak and act, weigh yourself first."
How ungrateful and hateful I must be.
So much so that she was looking forward to my death.
I laughed, looking at her and laughing for a long time.
"I will die."
Perhaps it was because my laughter was a bit eerie, or perhaps it was because what I said surprised her.
A trace of disbelief flashed across my mom's face, but it was gone in an instant.
The familiar look in her eyes.
Resentment, disgust...
Yes, this was her.
"What? You've grown old enough now, dare to threaten me with suicide?"
"I tell you, your life is given by me, whether to take it back or not is up to me."
'Mom, I wasn't threatening you, and what you said didn't count.'
'This life, I'll give back to you soon.'
The day Nicole came back, my parents went to the airport to pick her up early in the morning.
They were gone for three days.
Nicole's social media account was updated every day.
[Auntie is afraid I'll get too tired from playing, so she brought me to do a spa. Auntie, Nicole loves you.]
[Matching outfits with Auntie.] And @me [Cousin, let's do it together next time.]
[Uncle says girls can't peel shrimp themselves, now he's helping me peel, in the future it'll be someone else's turn.] @Catfish.
Below were a bunch of comments from high school classmates.
[This is not an aunt, this is a fairy mother.]
[What's going on? Nicole, are you with that guy?]
Nicole replied: [Secret, then paired with a naughty smiley face.]
Soon I saw my mom's comment: [Nicole, my little princess, Auntie will love you forever.]
I was so numb that I couldn't even laugh, my mouth stiffly opened.
The word 'forever' is so easy to say, and promises are so easy to pass on to others.
I really wish they would keep playing outside, preferably not coming back for three months.
The moment they open the door when they come back, I can attach my scent to them.
Bodily fluids flowing to their feet.
So I can watch them vomit uncontrollably.
The thought is somewhat stimulating.
What a pity.
I'd already seen their car drive into the community.
I pulled up Catfish's Line, and edited a message: [Six hours left.]
To cover up my pale face and heavy dark circles, I put on heavy makeup before going out.
I packed three times the usual dose of painkillers in my bag.
As I was changing my shoes, the door opened amidst a burst of laughter.
My mom was holding Nicole's hand, and my dad was following behind them, carrying their bags and fanning them.
"Nicole, come inside quickly, it's too hot outside."
Nicole was treated like a treasure by them.
Look, what a happy family of three they are.
When my mom saw me, the smile on her face disappeared instantly.
It's that familiar face again.
"You're wearing such heavy makeup, who are you trying to seduce now?"
"Can't you learn anything good? Do you have to make me lose face before you're satisfied?"
My stomach started to convulse uncontrollably again.
I bit my lip corner hard, suppressing the pain, with a taste of rust in my mouth, "Didn't you say that I've lost your face long ago? How come you still have it? So your face can regenerate?"
No longer having any expectations, I no longer had any concerns.
My mom was trembling with anger, she raised her arm to hit me again, but was stopped by Nicole.
She spoke in a sweet and innocent voice, looking harmless to humans and animals.
"Auntie, don't be angry. It's normal for girls to love beauty and makeup. Look how pretty my cousin is with makeup."
"She's just making a fool of herself. If she were half as beautiful as you, she wouldn't need makeup."
Not wanting to say more, I picked up my bag. "I'm going out."
"Why do you bother telling me if you don't listen to me? If you want to go out, get out quickly. Don't tell me you're waiting for me to carry you out on a palanquin."
Okay, it's the last three months, and she missed another opportunity to speak nicely.
The moment the door closed, I saw Nicole's triumphant smile.
Her eyes were filled with the arrogance of a victor.
The first time I saw her with this look was the second year Nicole came to my house.
When she first arrived, I was delighted.
My mother asked me to take care of her, so I did, sharing all my toys and beautiful clothes with her.
But after a while, I sensed something was wrong.
My dolls would inexplicably lose an arm or a leg.
My favorite princess dress would mysteriously disappear.
Even my Ray was becoming more and more listless.
I kept an eye on Nicole, watching her secretly.
One day, I found her hiding in the room, squeezing something into Ray's mouth.
Ray was struggling and making whimpering cries for help.
I pushed Nicole away, held Ray, and went to my mom to accuse Nicole of her crimes.
But Nicole had tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I'm allergic to dog hair. I heard that fish oil can improve a dog's shedding condition, so I fed it fish oil."
"Then what about my dolls? What about my princess dress? Did you do it?"
Nicole cried even more pitifully, almost fainting from crying.
My mom was heartbroken and slapped me hard. "She's your cousin, not a thief. If you can't take care of your things, don't blame others."
"And that dog of yours, get rid of it right away. If I had known Nicole was allergic to dog hair, I wouldn't have let you bring it home."
I disagreed with throwing it away, so my mom scolded me, "Is your cousin not even as good as a stray dog? When did you become so selfish?"
That was the first time my mom hit me. I was stunned and stood there for a long time, unable to recover.
By the time I came back to my senses, Ray had already been thrown off the 29th floor by my mom.
"If you won't throw it away, I'll do it for you."
My mom pushed me away, took the still crying Nicole out the door, her voice was so gentle, "Nicole, stop crying, auntie will take you to buy something delicious."
I stood there shivering, not daring to speak, not daring to cry.
Nicole, who had walked to the door, looked back at me. The look in her eyes was the same as it is now.
Proud, wild...
I met up with Rio at a suburban park's basketball court.
When I arrived, he was jumping up, airborne, and shot a three-pointer.
Then, like a wild horse that had broken free, he ran towards me.
"How is it? Am I cool or what?"
I threw a bottle of Joy Water to him. "You're all sweaty, stay away."
"Oh, you're being picky now. I've lost a lot for this meet-up, one bottle of Joy Water won't cut it."
I looked around the basketball court, slowly approaching Rio Cooper and looking up at him. "This place isn't suitable for sex."
Rio lowered his head hastily, his face suddenly blushing, just like a girl whose secrets had been revealed. It was as if he had gulped down a whole bottle of strong liquor.
"Weren't you quite bold in the WhatsApp? Why are you shy now?"
"Who, who's shy? I was just thinking about how many times I want you."
The park is adjacent to the Sapphire Serpent River.
Rio and I picked a secluded path and walked along the river.
We just kept going.
I really wanted to keep going like this.
The cool night breeze dispelled the heat of the day and blew away the black hair on Rio's forehead.
His clean and handsome face was fully revealed in the night.
I have to admit, he is really handsome.
Despite his efforts to hide it, I saw his nervousness from his throat bobbing up and down.
He glanced at his wristwatch. "You have ten minutes to back out."
Ten minutes later, I would turn eighteen.
"Stop nagging."
The clock struck twelve on time, a young boy and girl began their first reckless adventure in life.
He entered her body.
The process was awkward, nervous, and exciting.
I put my head on Rio's chest, feeling his heartbeat.
We lay on the grass, looking up at the Milky Way, lost in it, forgetting all the troubles of the world.
"Talia, after the results come out, let's apply to the same school. I'll take care of you for the rest of my life."
His voice was deep and magnetic, with a touch of seductive recklessness.
It was hard to refuse.
"Okay."
He took out a red bracelet from his pocket and put it on my wrist, "I prayed for it in the church. It's for safety and health. Happy birthday, Talia."
"Since you've agreed, you can't back out."
My body was getting worse day by day.
I was so tired that I could hardly walk a few steps, and I couldn't eat much.
In just over half a month, I had lost more than ten pounds.
The bones on my face were clearly visible.
I thought I would be an invisible person in this house until the day I died, without saying a word to them.
But one noon, my dad knocked on my door.
"Talia, your mom has cooked a meal herself. Come out and eat, it's all your favorite food."
The phrase "your mom has cooked" was indeed tempting to me.
I hadn't tasted her cooking in many years.
So, I decided to have a taste.
Just a bite.
The dishes were served, each spicier than the last.
Just looking at them, I felt a fire burning in my stomach.
This was what Nicole liked to eat, not me.
Nicole brought out a small cake with a big smile on her face.
"Cousin, you didn't attend this year's birthday party. Aunt said she would make up for you today."
I noticed her gaze lingering on my wrist.
The red bracelet.
I picked up my fork and really didn't know which dish to pick.
In my hesitation, my mom knocked my fork away.
"Eat your meal openly, I get angry when I see you dawdling."
"It's too spicy, I can't eat it."
My mom got even angrier, she slammed the fork on the table.
"Nicole can eat it, why can't you, why are you so pretentious?"
"And your hair, go cut it immediately, covering your face, looking like you want to die, it's bad luck just looking at it."
As long as she finds a fault with me, my shortcomings in her heart will be infinitely magnified.
Then she lost control.
Just like then, she didn't like my hair, so she got up to get scissors.
She lifts my hair to cut it, but stops in place, her pupils trembling slightly.
I think she might be scared by my emaciated face.
Her look now should be one of concern, after all, blood is thicker than water, and I am flesh from her flesh.
But now, she looked so strange.
I was wondering how to explain to her.
Fortunately, the next second, the familiar her came back.
"Are you trying to die, losing weight to this extent? It's really disgusting."
"You're killing yourself, I won't stop you; the cake is personally bought by Nicole, you must eat it."
My dad hurriedly came out to make peace. "Talia, be sensible, don't anger your mom, quickly eat the cake, you can't push yourself too hard when dieting."
I saw Nicole's slightly curved eyes.
I saw the satisfaction of a cuckoo bird after it has taken over everything from its original owner.
She was admiring her work.
"Okay, let's eat together."
I grabbed a handful of cake and smeared it all over Nicole's face.
When my mom saw it, she rushed over like a madwoman, punching my chest.
She was so strong.
The punches almost took my breath away.
Then my stomach cramped, and I vomited.
The greenish-yellow bile mixed with blood, vomited onto my mom's clothes.