"El, come home with me," Joya kept coaxing her son, hoping he would return to Indonesia with her.

"No, Mom. I prefer staying here," Langit refused for the umpteenth time.

He was already dressed neatly, preparing to leave for work. Langit worked at Magnifique's main headquarters in Paris.

"I don't care what you say. I'll ask them to fire you so you'll be forced to return to Indonesia!" Joya threatened, having run out of ways to persuade him.

Langit had lived in that country far too long. Because of a heartbreak, he had left the place he was born, running away from his past.

He looked at his mother-frustrated, desperate-before cupping her face and smiling gently at the woman who had given birth to him.

"Mom, I'm really not ready to go back. Please don't force me," Langit pleaded, then kissed her forehead.

Joya froze. She still didn't fully understand what had happened eight years ago that made Langit insist on transferring schools even though exams were near. She had been threatened that if she didn't transfer him, he would never continue his studies. And without hesitation, Langit demanded to move abroad.

Langit left for work, leaving Joya alone in the apartment. She could only keep searching for ways to bring her son home.

**

Langit tried working as usual, but his focus was shattered by his mother's constant pleas for him to return.

"Why do you look distracted today?" one of his coworkers asked in English.

"Nothing. I'm just a bit tired," Langit replied with a thin smile.

His coworker glanced around, then looked at Langit as he resumed typing.

"El, do you have time tonight? How about we grab a drink?" the tall, beautiful woman asked.

Everyone knew about Langit's reputation-how he slept with many women, some of whom even offered themselves just to see what he was like in bed.

Langit went silent at her invitation, then answered, "Alright. After work."

She smiled, cleared her throat lightly, and walked away.

He actually didn't want to go, but the thought of hearing Joya's nagging again made him accept the offer.

**

In Indonesia, nighttime had arrived as Bintang returned from work. She stepped out of her car, entered the house, and was greeted by the warm voice that always soothed her heart.

"You're home? Want me to make you hot chocolate or something else?" Annetha asked when she saw Bintang come in.

Bintang placed her blazer on the back of the sofa and walked to the dining room, where Annetha was preparing dinner.

"What did you cook?" Bintang asked, eyeing the dishes one by one.

"Beef stew, just for you as usual," Annetha replied while glancing at her daughter.

Bintang smiled broadly and kissed her mother's cheek.

"I'm going to shower first, Mom. Hot chocolate sounds good," she said before leaving the dining room.

Annetha smiled, relieved to see her daughter looking cheerful and carefree. She had worried that Bintang might be stressed and that it would affect her health. She and her husband had done everything to keep her mentally well.

Bintang entered her room-now drastically different. Her old study desk had been replaced by a vanity full of makeup. The pink walls were now a soft nude tone, matching the new version of herself. The origami stars that once hung by the window had vanished.

She undressed, preparing to shower, when thunder suddenly boomed. The already-dark sky grew even darker as black clouds rolled in.

Bintang walked to the window, staring at the sky now hidden by storm clouds. That bleak night reminded her of the night she broke a young man's heart-along with her own.

"Langit, how are you? If we ever meet again, could you forgive me?"

The words slipped from her lips without command. Though she feared meeting him, she couldn't deny the wish to free herself from eight years of guilt.

Everyone thought she was doing fine, but she had spent all these years burying pain and regret. Sometimes she wondered why she had been so cruel-why she had crushed the heart of the boy she had loved so deeply.

**

Paris, France.

Langit went to a club with the woman who had invited him. They sat at the bar and ordered drinks. They toasted and downed several glasses.

"You refused to date me. I'm surprised you agreed to drink with me, El. I thought you were avoiding me," she said after finishing her drink.

"I just don't want any kind of attachment. If you want to go out with me, it's a no-strings-attached date. Even sleeping together would be voluntary, with no commitment," Langit replied casually, sipping the brown liquid in his crystal glass.

The woman swirled her drink, her eyes fixed on him.

Noticing her gaze, Langit set his glass down and leaned slightly closer.

She studied his face intently. His friends were right-Langit was exceptionally attractive, with a charm that made women fall at his feet.

"Want to take things further?" Langit asked, his voice low.

"If you want to, I don't mind," she answered with a seductive smile.

Meanwhile, Joya grew anxious. Langit hadn't returned home, and work had ended an hour ago. She tried calling him, but he didn't answer.

"Where is he?" Joya paced in worry, imagining the worst-especially if Langit was fooling around again.

"No, I can't let this continue. I have to find a way to bring him back to Indonesia."

She thought hard. She couldn't let her son's future be destroyed by the nightlife of that city.

**

Langit went to the woman's apartment. They had drunk a lot and decided to go to her place to do what they had implied at the club.

"You live alone, right?" Langit asked as they entered.

"Yes. If I didn't, I'd have taken you to a hotel instead," she replied, setting her bag on the sofa.

She turned toward him, slipping off her blazer in a sensual motion.

"Do you want to shower first, or ...." she teased, letting her words trail off for him to choose.

"I can do things in any condition," Langit said. He pulled her by the waist, closing the distance between them.

"Even if you want to do it in the shower, I can," he added.

She smiled, wrapped her arms around him, and pressed her lips to his. Their mouths moved together, deep and hungry.

They walked slowly, lips still locked, until they reached the bedroom.

Langit was putting his shirt back on-the same one that had ended up on the floor. A part of him didn't want to go home, yet he couldn't bear the thought of leaving his mother alone in the apartment, possibly worrying about him even now.

The woman who had just made love with him sat on the bed, the blanket wrapped around her bare body. She watched the broad back of the man who had sent her soaring into bliss.

"El, why did you tattoo a star on your back?" she asked when she noticed the ink on his shoulder blade.

Langit glanced over his shoulder. He couldn't see it, but he knew exactly where it was.

"Because I like stars," he replied.

"Why?" she asked, curious.

Langit gave a faint, wry smile but chose not to answer her question.

"I have to go," he said once he had finished getting dressed.

"That's a shame. I still want to be with you. Maybe sleep together again, have a second round, or even a third," she teased lightly.

Langit turned and gave a small smile before saying, "I enjoy sex, but that doesn't mean I'll do it over and over again in one night."

His words struck his coworker sharply. He wasn't a sex addict who needed multiple rounds. He only did it to ease the exhaustion that weighed down his mind-to quiet the longing for a woman he could never have.

Langit drove toward his apartment. He had numerous missed calls from Joya, but he didn't call her back. He chose to go straight home so his mother wouldn't worry.

He had placed the star tattoo on his shoulder blade as a reminder that he couldn't see it himself. Just like his love-he held it in his heart, yet he couldn't truly see it anymore, hidden beneath irritation and bitterness from the past.

He tried to forget, yet he always carried it with him. His heart and mind were constantly at odds, and even now he didn't know what he truly wanted.

I keep trying to forget you, even hiding you deep within my heart. But why won't you leave? Do you intend to keep tormenting me with the hollow love you once spoke of?

**

Joya was frantic. It was already eleven at night, and Langit still hadn't come home. She was so worried she no longer knew where else to look for her son.

"El, where are you? Why are you stressing Mommy out?" Joya stared at the long list of outgoing calls to her son, none of which had been answered.

Then she heard the sound of the door opening. Joya hurried toward it, hoping it was indeed her son. And it was-Langit walked in and closed the door behind him, smiling when he saw his mother's anxious expression.

"Where were you? Why are you coming home at this hour?" Joya asked, her voice full of worry.

"Out with a friend, Mom," Langit replied casually.

He approached his mother and kissed her cheek with his usual sweet smile.

"El, are you drunk?" Joya asked when she smelled alcohol on his breath.

"I only had a little, Mom. If I were drunk, I wouldn't have made it home," he said lightly.

He took off his jacket and tie, then headed to the bathroom to wash away the remnants of his heated encounter.

Joya was at a loss for words. Langit's behavior and dismissive attitude toward her left her exhausted.

"You don't want Mommy here, do you, El?" she said as she watched him about to enter the bathroom.

Langit stopped walking, then turned toward her. Seeing her sad expression, he walked back to her. He couldn't stand seeing his mother look like that.

"Why would you say that, Mom?" he asked, standing before her, looking at her tear-filled eyes.

"Of course Mommy would say that. You come home late, you drink, you sleep around. You don't want to come home with me. Mommy feels like you're ignoring me, El. Mommy worries about you because I love you. But you don't care about Mommy. If one day you're here, and Mommy is gone-don't blame yourself."

Joya was truly frustrated. Her husband had also been a former playboy, but not like her son, who indulged in women carelessly. She no longer understood how heartbreak could turn her son into someone like this.

"Sometimes Mommy doesn't understand. You love so deeply, yet you don't fight for it-you ruin yourself instead. Doesn't that make you the same as her? You say you love her, but you give up just like that. You're being a coward, not like your daddy. He waited five years for Mommy, and even then he didn't become like this. He improved himself and proved to Mommy that he deserved her."

Joya was furious with her son, to the point where she began recounting the struggle her husband-Kenzo-had gone through to win her over. He had been a playboy who enjoyed changing girlfriends, but he never indulged in casual sex. And when he broke up with Joya, Kenzo changed himself for the better to prove he was worthy of her.

"Mommy is truly disappointed in you, El." Joya covered her lips with one hand, as though trying to hold back the sadness caused by her son's change.

Langit could clearly see the disappointment in his mother's eyes. He reached for her, trying to hug her, but she pushed him away, unwilling to accept his embrace. Langit didn't give up-he wrapped his arms around her from behind and rested his chin on the top of her head, which only reached the level of his arm.

"Mom, forgive me," Langit said, guilt weighing heavily on him as he saw the disappointment in Joya's eyes.

"Why are you apologizing to Mommy? Apologize to yourself-your behavior is damaging your own soul. Mommy misses the old you, El. The you who always thought positively and never crossed the line. Even when you got into trouble, Mommy could still accept it. But now? Mommy can't accept this. If you want to stay like this, then forget that you have a Mommy and Daddy." Joya was truly enraged this time, even to the point of threatening him. She tried to pry off the arms wrapped tightly around her, but she couldn't-Langit held her too firmly.

"Mom, don't say that. You know I love both of you," Langit pleaded, trying to soothe her disappointment.

"Love? What love? If you loved us, you wouldn't leave us like this. You stopped caring about us just because of one girl. If you want to keep being heartbroken, then go ahead-just forget you have us." Joya spoke sharply and pressingly. If soft words could not reach him, then she would use words as harsh as her own heart could bear.

"Mom ...." Langit didn't expect Joya to say something like that.

"What? It's fine if we no longer have you. Mommy and Daddy can still live together. We used to live just the two of us, and we can do it again. And anyway, Mommy doesn't only have you-I still have Cheryl. Mommy doesn't want a stubborn child who destroys himself and can't think about others. Mommy is disappointed and doesn't want to look at you anymore. Mommy wants to go back to Indonesia." Joya kept speaking painful words, though this was her last resort to reach him.

Langit tightened his embrace around her even more, bending down slightly and resting his head affectionately on her shoulder.

"Mommy wants me to come home?" Langit asked softly.

"No, what for? Trying to persuade you is like talking to a rock. Even if Mommy dies, it still won't get through to you," Joya replied sharply, still upset.

"Hush ... Mom, why do you keep talking about dying? That's bad luck," Langit said, almost laughing at how she was sulking.

"I don't care. Mommy doesn't care what you want anymore. Mommy is stressed from dealing with you!" Joya grumbled, trying to pull his arms off her and shaking her shoulder so he would stop leaning on her.

"Fine. I'll come home. But give me some time to take care of everything here before moving," Langit finally conceded. He just hated hearing his mother mention death to scare him. Or perhaps he was afraid it could happen while he wasn't by her side.

Joya stopped resisting. Then she glanced at Langit, who was still clinging adorably to her shoulder.

"You're really going home? You're not lying just to stop Mommy from being angry?" she asked again.

Langit nodded like a kindergarten kid who had just been scolded.

"I love Mommy. If you want me to come home, I'll come home. I'm sorry for making you angry. Don't be upset anymore-you won't look pretty," he teased lightly.

Joya couldn't help feeling exasperated at his joking tone. She pinched his sharp nose.

"You really know how to get to me, don't you?" she said, pinching harder.

"Mommy, that hurts!" Langit yelped, his nose turning red.

Joya let go of his nose and looked at her son, who had now released her and was rubbing the sore spot.

"Promise you'll come home with Mommy," she said once more, needing to hear it.

"I promise, Mom."

I'll come home-but I'm not sure I can face my past. What does she look like now? Is she still the same, or even more beautiful than I remembered? Bintang, why won't you truly disappear from me, so I can stop hoping to meet you ... and stop loving you again.