I was still shaky on my feet, but I couldn't stand to stay in that hospital another minute.

Everything at home was exactly as I'd left it, except for one new addition: a set of men's pajamas and underwear.

Olivia knocked on the bedroom door in the middle of the night, drunk.

She wrapped her arms around me quietly and pressed her mouth to mine.

"Baby... baby, I know you're upset today. The doctor told me you just walked out of the hospital. Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

"Sob, sob... thank God you came home. Tonight I'll make it up to you, so don't be sad anymore, okay?"

She tried to hold me. I moved out of her reach.

A person who's dirty is no cleaner than the trash in a garbage can.

Seeing me pull away, Olivia looked wounded.

I didn't say anything. I leaned on my crutch and stumbled back into the bedroom, lay down, and rested.

Not long after, the bathroom filled with the sound of running water.

With that water running and my mood sinking, my pillow was soaked with tears before I even noticed.

Olivia came back into the bedroom wrapped in a towel, giggling stupidly at her phone as she sat down on the bed.

Looking at the red scratch marks high on her inner thigh, I felt a little sick.

She seemed to remember something and hurriedly pulled on a tank top.

"Baby, this is from a little run-in I had with Lily, a girl from work today. Just a small scuffle, it's nothing, don't worry about it..."

"Mm. And the hickey on your neck is..."

Before I could ask any more, she cut in fast. "Oh, that? The whole company went to get health certificates today. It's a mark left by one of those machines they use on the side of your throat, same principle as cupping."

"Honestly, sitting home all day with nothing to do, who knows what you've got churning around in your head. If you have that much time, go do something worthwhile for once. Stop sitting around alone imagining things!"

I fought back the tears, shut my eyes so they wouldn't spill over, and said nothing more.

She was the one who told me to stay home and take care of the household. And now here she was, saying something this cold and heartless. A woman's word really can't be trusted...

She finished, sounding a little guilty, then tapped at her phone a few more times, climbed into bed, wrapped herself around me, and murmured softly:

"Baby~ I said I'd make it up to you properly tonight."

I knew she'd been with someone else lately, and the novelty between us had long since worn off. This was just her covering her own guilt.

No matter how hard she tried, I didn't respond, because the scene from the hospital room that day kept playing in my head.

She got flustered and short-tempered, as if this were a slap to her face.

"Kerry, you're this young, you've got no work stress, so why can't you get it up? First thing tomorrow, go find some old doctor and get yourself checked out!"

I turned my back to her, reached over and switched off the light, and my pillow only grew more soaked...

The first year after we married.

Back then her domineering streak ran deep. She couldn't stand the thought of people gossiping that she was a housewife. She believed a woman should be like a warrior riding into battle.

I doted on her too much back then. For her sake I signed the whole company straight over to her, which set off a huge falling-out with my parents.

She was still green in those days, her management skills and experience nowhere near solid. Day and night I broke this knowledge down and fed it to her piece by piece. I wanted nothing for myself back then. I only wanted her to live a good life with me, to not let me down. That was all.

With those skills and that experience, and with my help, she finally worked her way up and held the chairwoman's seat firmly.

Even now, I never got my parents' blessing, but I felt all of it was right. We were living a happy, full life. Set everything else aside; as long as we loved each other, that was enough...

But now...

Maybe I'd cried myself out, because a heavy drowsiness swept over me.

That was when Olivia wrapped her arms around me from behind.

"Babe, that was my fault just now. I said things too harshly. I'm sorry, okay? Don't be mad at me. Work's just been so stressful for me lately."

I gave a low murmur of acknowledgment and said nothing more.

She pulled me tighter, pressing her face into my neck.

"Babe, can I tell you something?"

"Mm."

I answered softly, doing my best to hide the crack in my voice.

"There's this overseas order that came up, so I have to fly out tomorrow on short notice. Those two movie tickets you got probably won't get used now. Why don't you go by yourself, okay? I'll send you some money. Go out tomorrow night and have fun with your friends."

I asked, not understanding.

"What order's so urgent? Isn't tomorrow the weekend?"

Olivia explained.

"Nothing I can do. That's what the client wants. You take someone's order, you take care of them the way they ask."

"Don't worry, babe. If it's quick, three or four days. If it runs long, maybe about a week and I'll be back. I'm going with my secretary. Don't worry."

By the end, her expression wavered a little. She wouldn't look at me, and her voice dropped a notch or two.

Every year our anniversary fell right up against my birthday. I wanted to remind her that tomorrow was my birthday.

But the words got to the edge of my tongue and I held them back. All I said was,

"Sure. Got it."

Seeing that I understood, Olivia was very pleased. She turned on me like fire, wanting to burn me down to nothing.

In the old days, I would've rolled over and thrown myself at her without a second thought.

But this time, something inside me wouldn't let me do it. That strange smell on her made my stomach turn. I gently pulled free of her.

"It's really late. Let's sleep."

She held me all night long, as if holding me could paper over her guilt.

But I couldn't forget what had happened in that office. Once she was deep asleep, I worked my way out of her arms.

Early the next morning she got up fast, washed, dressed, planted a kiss on my face while I was still half asleep, and hurried out the door.

Today was my twenty-eighth birthday. I got up and cooked myself a bowl of birthday noodles, sitting alone at the table, eating in the quiet.

I ran back through all the little moments the two of us had shared, imagining she might still turn back. If she really could turn back, I'd treat all of this like it never happened.

Thinking that, I called her with that hope in me. I needed to have a real talk with her.

"Hello?"

A man's voice came through from the other end. I knew that voice. It was Evan Harding, Olivia's close male friend.

Olivia had never saved my number. Back then, to please me, she'd said she could recite my number backward, that there was no point saving it, that if she saved it she was afraid she'd forget it over time.

The small flame of my hope shrank lower and lower. For a moment I couldn't speak, and I had no idea what I would even say to this man.

"Hello? Can you hear me? Why aren't you saying anything?"

Evan's voice came again.

After checking a few more times, he must have decided the signal was bad, because with a click he seemed to set the phone down somewhere. But the call stayed connected the whole time.

Olivia's voice came through from the other end.

"Who was it?"

"No idea. Feels like a spam call. Not anyone you know. No name saved..."

"Okay, baby, forget about them. Keep telling me your plan."

"Okay. This time we took a whole week off, so we've got plenty of time. First we can go to the Charleston gardens and the Savannah riverfront district. I hear it's gorgeous there, perfect for couples..."

"After that we can hit Asheville's lakeside park, the botanical gardens, Lake Norman, all these spots. We can even set aside two days to go out to the Carolina coast."

Olivia said, laughing,

"The spots aren't what matter. What matters is you and me..."

Hearing that, I slowly lowered the phone, swallowing back all the things I'd wanted to say to Olivia, and the wet shine at the corners of my eyes slid down again, no matter how I tried to stop it.