My boyfriend, Liam Sterling, has a female friend, Lyra Kensington, who’s always been far too comfortable crossing lines. On our anniversary, she gifted him an alarm clock, leaning in to whisper loud enough for me to hear, “For timing. I’m afraid he won’t last.” At our engagement party, she sauntered over with a self-satisfied smirk and handed him a box of extra-small condoms as her engagement gift.

The day finally came when Liam proposed to me. But just before we were supposed to register the marriage, Liam dropped the truth: “Lyra needs a nominal father for her baby, but I will marry you in eight months.” No one doubts that I would be as devoted as ever to wait another eight months. After all, I’ve already spent seven years by his side. But at that very night, I accepted my family’s plan abroad and vanished from Liam’s world forever.

From the backseat, I watched them returning to the car after their marriage registration, without saying a word. Over the past seven years, I had exhausted myself to elbow my way in Liam’s world. I learned their favorite board games and even deliberately mimicked their manner of speaking. I thought I could earn a place in his circle as long as I exerted all my energy. But Lyra never had to lift a finger to lock in her with him forever. I finally knew some seats simply weren’t meant to be won through effort.

"What a terrible music!" Lyra suddenly grumbled, frowning as she reached for the center console. "It's noisy!"

The song playing was from my playlist. Liam kept logging into my account because he knew I like to hear my songs in his car.

"Don't be such a pill."

Liam slapped her hand away.

"I’m carsick. I just want something quiet. What's the big deal?"

Lyra retorted, stubbornly reaching for the console again.

Two seconds of silence passed.

"You're such a hassle," Liam muttered, caving in.

Lyra logged out of my account and into hers. A second later, deafening electronic music blasted from the speakers.

Liam chuckled. "So this is quiet?"

"It's pretty quiet," Lyra said flatly. "You’ve a problem with ears."

They started bickering once again, teasing each other about terrible taste in music and movie…they flirted as if I’d never existed at all.

A wave of nausea swept over me. I couldn't tell if it was carsickness or something heavier settling in my chest. Outside, the mountain scenery blurred as I rolled down the window. The cold air poured into the car, making my eyes sting.

Liam glanced at me through the rearview mirror. "It's windy. Roll it up before you catch a cold."

I sat motionless, but Lyra had already rolled the window up and continued to bicker with Liam.

"You said you'd treat me to dinner two months ago. What are you going to do about breaking that promise?"

"When did I say that?"

"Stop pretending You’ve amnesia. You said it yourself at the Japanese restaurant downstairs from your office. I recorded it."

"Are you serious?"

"Sure. I’ve to keep evidence lest you behave dishonestly."

They shot each other a glare in the rearview mirror, and then grinned almost instantly. It was a fleeting laugh that carried the kind of unspoken understanding only they shared. Staring at that rearview mirror, it suddenly hit me that the reflection there was never me. Sitting in the back, I watched him bickering with her as if I were a bystander.

For seven years, I thought Liam was clumsy in expressing himself. He was too stiff to joke, too proud to back down. But, he knew exactly what to do before Lyra. He knew how to snap back, how to laugh, how to meet her halfway. He just never did that for me.

By the time we arrived at the hotel at the foot of the snow mountain, the night fell. Liam took down two suitcases and tried to sling an arm around my shoulder.

"What's up? Not feeling well?"

I sidestepped and walked ahead, dragging my own luggage. He froze for a second, and then jogged to catch up.

In the guest room, he put away the luggage and crouched in front of me, holding my hands. He softly explained, "Lyra has been like this since her childhood. Her parents kept bringing us together and I can't embarrass them. Besides, she is pregnant but never says a single word about her baby’s father. You know she is my friend. I cannot just stand by and do nothing."

I stayed quiet, looking at the overcast sky outside the window. He kept pleading in a gentle voice, "Just give me eight more months. Once we're married, no one would come between us."

"I remember whatever you want." He tilted my chin up, keeping my sight focusing on him. "Here is the beach, the lawn, champagne-colored linens and white roses… I’m going to give you the most magnificent wedding ceremony."

It’s magnificent. It’s magnificent once again. Liam had been throwing it around for three years. He was sincere but guilty. He made preparations for the future, but he never got ready for losing me.

"Are you tired?" he asked.

"Eh." I spoke in a low voice, "I’m."

He sighed in relief and stood up, patting my shoulder, "It’s a long drive. You’ve had a tough day."

Just when he turned to leave, I stopped him, “Liam”.

He looked back.

"I’m not tired because of the drive. I…”

Liam frowned slightly. He was about to say something but interrupted by a sharp rap on the door.

"Liam! Open up!"

It was Lyra's voice. She pushed the door open and leaned halfway into the room. "I lost something."

"Don’t be absurd. Why come to me if you lost something?"

She shot him a glare without any words, marching straight toward his coat and yanking a thin scrap of fabric out of his pocket. It’s lingerie, so sheer to cover nothing at all. The air in the room seemed to get empty instantly.

Lyra held it up and shook it. "You pervert!"

Liam knitted the brows, "When did you put it in my pocket?"

"Who put it there? Here is the evidence! Are you going to deny it?"

Lyra flashed a smile at me before turned to leave, "Sophia, don't overthink it. Maybe it’s a misunderstanding!"

Her smile was generous to the extent that I must be narrow-minded if I take seriously.

Then she looked back at Liam, "I think there's a cockroach in my room. I won't make a fuss about it if you come to help me."

"Can't you call the reception?"

"Hurry up! I'm scared." Lyra pouted invitingly, stamping her foot.

Liam followed her out, turning back to tell me: "Get some rest if you're tired. We have to hike tomorrow."

The door clicked shut. I leaned against the headboard and closed my eyes. I felt too exhausted to keep deceiving myself. I wanted nothing, the wedding, the future or anything else.

Later, Liam returned. He glanced at where his phone was and paused, "You checked my phone. Do you feel reassured?"

Liam was unperturbed as usual. He behaved calmly as if those incriminating messages like a stone dropping into the sea, those constant quarrels breaking out at any moment, and all expectations I had carefully nurtured were unworthy of mentioning. I suddenly realized that he did not care my feelings at all.

He frowned at me for my reticence, hardening his voice, "Did you get annoyed with the lingerie? Don't you know what she's like? Don't you know me?"

Liam walked over and shoved a USB drive into my palm, "She stuffed it into my pocket herself. Here's the surveillance footage."

Liam waited for me to trust him like I always did. He waited for me to shove the USB drive back, get into his arms and confess my sensitivity.

But I just looked at him and said coldly, "I got it."

With a faint sneer across his face, he snatched the USB drive back and jammed it into the computer. On the screen, Lyra was seen sneakily stuffing the lingerie into his coat pocket.

"Did you see that? I didn't do anything. Sophia, it's been seven years. Why don’t you trust me?"

"Yeah. We are breaking up."

He paused as if he didn't quite get it. Then, he slammed his laptop shut, his eyes red-rimmed.

"How exactly am I supposed to satisfy you? You can buy whatever you want, and I've tried my best to love you. Sophia, what more do you want? You are suffocating me! Do you think there's anything wrong with our relationship?! Tell me! What do you want? Say it!"

Just as I was about to say something, Amelia pushed the door open, having a pale face, "Liam, Lyra...she's playing strip poker with a few guys. Whoever loses the game has to take off a piece of clothing. Right now...she's down to her underwear."

Liam looked sullen instantly. He didn't even spare me a glance in his panic, turning and bolting out the door. The door slammed shut with a bang. That was the problem. Lyra was always the one who could make Liam give up everything in a heartbeat. I was always the one left behind.

Early morning, Liam pulled me out of bed as if nothing has happened yesterday.

“Sophia, it’s time to head out. It’s a sunny day for a hike.”

There was no sign of displeasure last night on his face. It seemed that his figure rushing out of the door was nothing but my delusion.

“Don’t worry. Lyra won’t come with us.” He paused as if he took it granted, “I’ve made full preparations for her. She can pamper herself with hot spring, ski resort and fine food at the foot of the mountain. I didn’t want her getting bored down there and coming up to cause trouble.”

Liam even thought about the way for her to kill time. How thoughtful he was!

The path up the mountain was steep. Liam walked ahead of me, occasionally turning around to lend me a hand. But he was absent-minded.

Lyra’s messages came one after another. He replied to Lyra while talking to me, “Are you tired? We can take a break.”

His phone rang before we finished less than half of the journey. It was Lyra, her voice trembling with tears. “Liam, what a terrible hot spring you offered?! I fell so hard and I’m bleeding! Get back right now!”

Liam stopped, his brows furrowing into a knot.

Amelia caught up from behind, “Liam, I can find someone to take care of her.”

Another friend chimed in, “Lyra gets used to overstating the truth. ‌Perhaps nothing occurred.‌”

“Exactly. I can go back to take care of her if you’re worried. Today… is important.”

Liam kept silent for a moment. A blast of mountain breeze blew over, sending shivers down my spine.

He turned to look at me, “Sophia, I’m heading down for a bit. Wait for me at the mountaintop. I’ll be back soon.”

Amelia couldn't help grumbling, “We got halfway. Why you go down now…”

But Liam was already hurrying back, not waiting to hear her out. He left behind footprints of different shades in the snow.

Amelia walked up to me, as if she’d made an important decision.

“Sophia, there is something I think you should know. Do you know why Liam was courting you back then?”

The wind gusted over the ridge, chilling me to the bone.

“It was a bet. Lyra promised to call Liam Dad if he can win your heart. But, nobody expected you’d stay together for so many years. Lyra later regretted what she did, but you know she’d never admit a mistake.”

I stood still and sighed. ‌I felt like I was just a joke. What was more absurd was that I sincerely loved Liam for seven years.

“But, he is going to propose to you on the mountaintop today. He wanted to make up for not being able to hold a wedding for you right now. He spent almost two months preparing the ring, those flowers and decorations.”

I stared at the snow-covered mountain path, saying nothing.

“Will you keep going?”

“Why not?”

I met Liam for the first time in the snow-capped mountain. Just let my affection came to end right where it began.

For the rest of the journey, I walked alone at the very front. When I nearly reached the summit, I saw the wedding decorations. Pink and white balloons were tied between two pine trees. The ground was covered with red rose petals, glowing like a setting sun against the backdrop of white snow. The venue was as beautiful as the snow-capped mountains. Several friends came up early, and Liam also showed up.

“Sophia, I’m here!” Liam ran up to me, panting heavily, yet his eyes were bright. That was a luster I hadn't seen for a long time. He blinked with anticipation, tension, and even a touch of childlike innocence.

He took out the ring box hiding in his pocket and opened it, kneeling on one knee, “Sophia, my dear girl. Thank you for accompanying me for seven years. I know I’m not good enough and I’ve put you through a lot. But, please trust me. I…I will officially marry you after eight months.”

He raised head, his eyes reddening, “I will love you with all I’ve. Would you marry me?”

Friends behind me burst into cheers.

“Say yes!”

“Marry him!”

Everyone was looking at me, including Liam. The man in front of me was the one I’ve loved for seven years. Kneeling on one knee in the snow and holding a ring in his hand, Liam was affectionate.

I spoke out, “Liam, I don’t want to.”

My voice was not loud, but firm enough to be heard.