In the morning, a message came through.
[Lacey's place lost power last night. I helped her until late. Didn't want to wake you, so I stayed in a hotel. Not at her place.]
He had always been frank like this. He never avoided mentioning Lacey in front of me.
He believed that as long as he explained himself clearly, there was no problem.
Another message popped up.
[I booked that restaurant you've been wanting to try. Dinner tonight.]
This was his usual way of handling things.
An explanation, followed by a piece of candy. Whether I accepted it or not, he would automatically consider the matter settled.
As long as he thought he'd explained himself, then I wasn't supposed to stay upset.
The few times I could not take it anymore and tried to talk things through, the look in his eyes was always the same–as if I was being unreasonable.
So most of the time, I swallowed my grievances and pretended to be mature and understanding just to keep him happy.
I replied: [Okay.]
Felix could handle spicy food, but he didn't really like it. Normally, he would never suggest taking me there himself.
I should have been happy.
However, I felt nothing.
…
I assumed Felix would not come pick me up, so I called a car myself.
Turns out I was right again.
His office was on the way to the restaurant. From inside the rideshare, I saw him smiling faintly as he shielded Lacey's head with one hand while helping her into the passenger seat.
Something shifted in my chest. I opened my phone.
Sure enough, several new messages had come through.
[Lacey's joining us for dinner too. She's been working overtime these past few days and hasn't been eating properly.]
[She can't handle spicy food. I'll take you there another time. We're changing restaurants tonight.]
[I'll send you the address.]
I turned my screen off, and still went to the original restaurant.
Felix had already cancelled the reservation, so I had to wait in line.
The place was packed. I waited an hour before finally getting a table.
I kept eating while my phone buzzed nonstop beside me.
The food was authentically spicy. My eyes even watered from the heat.
However, it felt satisfying.
Only when I asked for the bill did I finally check my phone.
As expected, there were more than a dozen messages.
[Are you there yet?]
[Are you seriously throwing a tantrum again? Didn't I tell you we'd go another time?]
[Lacey's stomach is sensitive. You're basically her sister-in-law already. Can't you be more understanding?]
[She feels so guilty she can't even eat. Hurry over!]
The same things over and over again.
Still, it was more messages than we had exchanged in the past month combined.
…
On the ride home, I kept wondering–why had I fallen for Felix in the first place?
I think it was the day his startup got rejected by investors for the twentieth time, while my design drafts were being sent back for the thirty-fifth revision.
There was a thunderstorm that day.
We ended up taking shelter in the same café and started awkwardly chatting just to pass the time.
By the time the rain stopped, we had somehow clicked.
After that, we naturally got together.
I never believed in love at first sight. Without time and emotional foundation, love always felt fragile to me–something that would disappear quickly.
However, during the six years I spent with Felix, I often thought I was lucky.
Out of all the people in the world, I had somehow met the person I was meant to spend my life with through that single moment.
Now that I thought about it carefully…
Were those six years really built on mutual love?
Or was I the only one holding on all along?
Zoe took me out for drinks.
She and Lucas were starting wedding prep soon, and she wanted one last chance to relax before things got busy.
A completely wholesome kind of relaxing.
She got drunk fast, but still insisted on taking me home first.
I laughed, but my chest ached a little too. Even drunk, my best friend was still thinking about me first.
Felix would always choose Lacey over me.
I comforted her. "I'm staying at your place anyway. We'll just go home together."
I had moved out of Felix's place a few days earlier to sort through our relationship. Lucas happened to be away on a business trip, so Zoe asked me to stay with her for the last few days of her single life.
When we got home, I carried her onto the couch. She mumbled vaguely into the cushion.
"Sara... if something's broken, throw it away. Don't force yourself to hold onto it."
Zoe and I had known each other for over ten years. Even when I said nothing, she could still tell how conflicted I was.
I smiled and rubbed her hair gently.
Just then, a message came in from Felix.
[Done being mad yet? When are you coming back?]
[Come back and I'll take you to that Sichuan place, okay?]
[You're an adult. Every time you're unhappy, you disappear. Do you really think that's mature?]
For the first time, I did not reply to him.
…
Lucas came back from his business trip. I was planning to leave since it was not convenient for me to keep staying there.
However, Zoe insisted I stay and sent Lucas back to his parents' house instead.
Lucas looked helpless, but indulgent as always. He agreed and even asked me to take good care of her.
I felt bad about it, but Zoe waved it off casually. "It's fine. Stay as long as you want."
A couple days later, she told me one of Lucas's college friends had returned from overseas to visit family. Lucas had organized a gathering, with both men and women attending.
She wanted me to come too.
I knew she was worried I'd stay trapped in my emotions and never pull myself out.
So during the days I stayed at her place, she spent almost all her free time with me.
I agreed. A change of scenery might do me good.
The gathering was held at an upscale private club that Lucas partly owned.
That was where I met the friend he was hosting this time–Cooper Wells.
He wore gold-rimmed glasses and looked refined and scholarly.
However, unlike his appearance suggested, he was actually fun and easygoing. With him around, the atmosphere never once turned awkward.
Everyone had a great time.
During the conversation, I learned that despite coming from a wealthy family, Cooper had started his own business. In just a few years, his company had already gone public.
At the end of the night, he asked to add me on Facebook.
I looked at him in surprise, suddenly feeling awkward.
No matter what, Felix and I still had not officially broken up.
Cooper smiled. "Don't misunderstand. Zoe showed me some of your work before. I think your designs are both polished and full of creativity. I just wanted to ask if you'd ever considered changing work environments."
I looked at Zoe. She shrugged.
"I only showed him your work. What you want to do is still up to you.
"But I think you should at least add him first. You can always decide later."
I had to admit, at that moment, I was tempted.
So I added him.
"Sara!"
I turned around and saw Felix standing there, fury written across his face.