2: 2
2
When I said it, my mother froze.
It took her a long moment before she looked at me coldly and said, "Then go hungry!"
With that, she snatched my rice bowl away and slammed it down hard on the table.
I didn't say anything. I just stood up quietly and walked straight to the couch.
As for this family, I had given up on it completely by now.
But I didn't expect that I'd barely been sitting on the couch for a little while when my cousin announced he'd had enough to eat, said he needed to step out for a bit, turned, and walked out the door.
And my mother turned to glare at me. "Beth, go wash the dishes!"
My eyes went wide, my whole face full of disbelief.
Looking at her, I said quickly, "Mom, I didn't eat a single bite!"
"So what?"
"You didn't eat a bite, so now you're not going to wash the dishes?"
"You're the girl of this house. You won't even do a little housework?"
There was a chill in her voice as she said it.
And in that moment I said straight out, "I never ate, so why should I be the one washing dishes!"
"Either way, I'm not washing them!"
Her eyes went wide. She'd never imagined I would blow up at a time like this, and blow up so completely.
When her order didn't move me, my mother's face turned uglier. She wanted to keep scolding me, but my father stepped in.
He said he'd wash the dishes, and with that he quickly picked up the bowls and chopsticks and went into the kitchen.
In the living room, it was just my mother and me sitting there facing each other. Her face was grim, but she didn't say anything more.
And I only said flatly that I was tired, then lay down and went to sleep.
Somewhere in a half-sleep, my cousin came back. The moment he walked in, he turned the TV on and cranked the volume up loud.
The sound of it woke me.
"Scott, it's late, I need to rest!"
I lifted my head, looked at him, and said it.
The second he heard me, his face changed.
He said flatly, "Beth, I know you don't want me living here in your home!"
"Since you're not happy about it, I'll just go back!"
His voice was loud. Loud enough for both my parents to hear.
My mother threw the bedroom door open and rushed out, her face livid, and looked at me. "So what if your cousin watches a little TV?"
"So he took your room, is that it?"
"You're still nitpicking over a little thing like that, even now!"
"Is there any point to it?"
I lifted my head, looked at her, and said, "I have work in the morning!"
"It's just a summer job. Why so serious about it?"
My mother said coldly, "You barely make anything in a whole month!"
I looked at her and gave a faint smile. "There's nothing I can do about it. After all, when other kids go to school, their parents give them an allowance!"
"And my allowance I can only earn myself, working a summer job!"
Hearing that, my mother's face went livid at once.
She knew I was talking about her.
About how she kept taking money from this house to prop up her own family, to prop up my uncle and my cousin, so this house had long since run out of money.
Before this, she'd even wanted me to drop out and go work.
If I hadn't stood my ground and argued that I'd earn my own tuition by working, I would have been shipped off to a factory long ago.
Seeing me fighting with my mother, my cousin finally got up and went back to the room. I glanced at her livid face and said, "I'm going to rest now!"
3: 3
3
Dad dragged Mom back into their room, and by then I had lost all faith in this family.
I closed my eyes and thought back over how hard these years had been.
To keep bankrolling my cousin Scott and Uncle Ronald, she had all but emptied this house.
And Dad never stepped in.
He only kept telling me, over and over, not to cross Mom.
I quietly touched the lottery ticket in my pocket.
Tomorrow I would have money of my own. Enough to study abroad.
The moment I had the money, I would leave this house.
And I would never come back.
Early the next morning, Mom yanked me out of bed.
She looked at me and said, "Go out and buy your cousin breakfast."
I gave her one cold look, then shook my head. "No."
"I have work. I don't have time."
With that, I didn't wait for her to blow up. I got up and walked out the door.
I was done with this family. At this point I didn't want to spend another second under this roof.
I took a car to the state lottery office and, with my nerves on edge, handed the ticket over to the staff.
They told me the ticket was fine, and once the taxes were taken out, the money was deposited into the account I'd given them.
It was an account I had opened in secret.
Watching the money land in my account, I finally let out a breath.
I knew my life had changed for good.
From now on I had money of my own, and a life of my own.
I called my teacher and told him I'd take the study-abroad spot overseas.
On the other end, he sounded thrilled and said he'd help me apply for a tuition waiver.
"Beth, I know your situation, and studying abroad is definitely the best fit for you. They're willing to waive part of the tuition too."
"Still, even so, the cost of living overseas is high."
I told him I already had the living expenses covered, and then I hung up.
I knew that from here on, my life was only just beginning. Everything else no longer mattered.
After I hung up with my teacher, I went to my summer job and told my boss I probably couldn't keep working.
I was going to study abroad.
When he heard that, he smiled and said he was behind me. He not only paid my wages but slipped me a big cash bonus on top.
After leaving there, I went straight home.
What I didn't expect was to walk in and find Mom already there, waiting for me.
When she saw me come in with an envelope of cash in my hand, her eyes lit up at once.
She came right over to me and asked, "Did your boss give you that?"
I nodded.
Mom suddenly spoke up. "Beth, since your boss gave you a cash bonus,"
"why don't you use it to buy your cousin a gift?"
"After all, your cousin lives here with us. You should get him something."
And with that, she reached to take the envelope out of my hand, as if it wasn't up for discussion.
My eyes went wide, my whole face in disbelief.
"Mom, what did you just say?"
"You want me to buy Scott Henson a gift?"
4: 4
4
Mom's eyes carried that flat sense of entitlement. "Look, your cousin's come to stay with us. It's only right our family gets him a little something!"
"With money I broke my back earning?"
I looked at her, and my eyes were ice.
She knew exactly how long and how hard I'd worked for that money.
And even now, she still had her eye on it.
In that moment I understood: every last shred of attachment I felt for this family had dropped to zero.
"Mom, you know perfectly well this money is for my tuition!"
I looked at her, my voice cold. "And you want me to hand it over to Scott?"
She looked at me, opened her mouth, but the second she caught that cold look in my eyes she fell silent.
Then she stood up. "If you don't want to, then don't. Why go on and on about it?"
"Your cousin's finally staying here, and all you do is scowl. Who's that for?"
When she said that, I just gave a small laugh. I had no strength left to answer her.
"I'm tired!"
The moment the words were out, I turned and lay down on the couch.
Curled up there, I couldn't stop the tears. This was supposed to be my home, and I didn't even have a bed of my own.
I cried until I fell asleep.
I was so tired.
When I woke, Mom, Dad, and my cousin were already sitting at the table eating.
Scott had a new phone in his hand, thanking Mom over and over.
"Aunt Isabella, you're too good to me! I never thought you'd actually buy me a phone!"
The second Scott finished, my expression shifted.
I reached quickly for my jacket pocket, only to find the cash bonus already gone.
All that was left was the empty envelope. The money inside was gone.
The three thousand dollars my boss had given me had just been taken by Mom.
"Where's my money?"
I stood up, looking at her, my voice already ice.
She clearly hadn't expected me to confront her. She spoke up at once. "Bethie, your cousin was just praising you!"
"Saying how good you are to him. That you heard he'd landed a great job and bought him a phone!"
When she said that, my heart had already shattered to dust.
It wasn't as if she didn't know how hard I'd worked, or exactly why I'd fought so hard to save up my own tuition.
She'd said that if I went to college she wouldn't give me a single cent.
And yet she'd reached in and taken the money I'd worn myself out earning.
"That's my money. I never said I'd buy him a gift!"
I looked at her, anger in my voice now.
She clearly hadn't expected me to turn on her like this.
She slapped the table and spoke coldly. "Beth, what's your problem?"
"So I took a little of your money, so what?"
"Your cousin's got a good job. Once he makes something of himself, he won't forget you!"
"What are you throwing a fit for now?"
I looked at her and laughed. She'd taken her own daughter's money to buy her nephew a phone, and now she thought I was throwing a fit?
In that moment I didn't even have it in me to argue with her.
I turned, picked up the suitcase I'd packed long ago, and walked straight out the door.
"What do you think you're doing?"
She watched me and frowned slightly.
"In this house I don't even have a bed of my own!"
"You love Scott so much, so treat him like your own son!"
"As for me, you don't need to worry about me anymore!"