1: 1

The guide dog was leading me home when a man's startled yelp burst out of the living room.

Then something came flying, and shattered at my feet.

Buddy let out a low grunt and backed up two steps, pressing close against my leg.

Vivien Sullivan shouted, "You mangy dog, you scared Darrell Vance!"

I held on to Buddy's harness, my head turned to catch Darrell's shaken, complaining voice.

"It's all right, guide dogs are very gentle, he won't hurt anyone—"

"You're blind, and now your brain's broken too?"

Vivien cut me off, furious.

"I told you long ago that Darrell is afraid of dogs. From now on don't let it show up in front of him! Next time it won't just be a smack."

I knew why she was angry.

Not because of the dog. Because of me.

Because I'd come home early today and interrupted her and Darrell.

1

Back in my room, when I reached to take off Buddy's harness, my fingers met something warm and wet.

He'd just been struck on the head. He was bleeding badly.

"Buddy…"

I held him, helpless, with no idea what to do.

If I walked out there now, Vivien might really beat him to death just to vent.

Buddy was so good in my arms.

Trembling all over with pain, and still he didn't make a sound.

His warm tongue licked gently at my hand, as if he were the one comforting me.

The voices from outside drifted in, on and off.

"Viv, don't be angry, it's my fault for being such a coward."

"It's not your fault. It's just an old dog. If it got hurt, it got hurt."

"But what if it holds a grudge against me and bites me next time?"

Buddy would never bite. Vivien had said so herself, with her own mouth, the day she brought him to me.

The bedroom door was kicked open.

Cold air poured in, carrying a cloying sweetness.

"Charles Fox, from today on, Buddy is banned from the living room and all the common areas."

I lifted my head, my empty eye sockets turned toward where she stood.

"Buddy's hurt…"

Before I could finish, Darrell broke in.

"Viv, don't make things hard for your brother. Maybe I should just move back to the old estate."

"It's only that the old place is so empty. Living there alone, I really do get scared at night…"

That lit Vivien's temper.

"Charles, Darrell is so kind and so considerate, and all you do is bully him at every turn!"

"It's just a dog with a little scratched skin, and you won't let it go. What is it you actually want?"

I closed my eyes, the pain in my chest spreading deep.

She used to say Buddy was our child, that she loved him so much, so much.

Somewhere along the way, she'd started to hate that we existed at all.

Only when the noise outside finally died down did I feel my way up to look for medicine.

Without Buddy's help, I stumbled as I walked.

Someone had left a kettle of scalding water on the edge of the table.

I bumped it by accident, and the boiling water poured all over me, a searing pain drilling into my skin.

I bit down hard on my lip.

Once, afraid I'd hit myself, Vivien had padded every furniture edge in the house with bumper strips.

Knives, boiling water, anything dangerous, had never once been left where my hands could reach.

Vivien pulled the door open, her voice full of displeasure.

"Can't you stop moving around? You're disturbing Darrell's rest."

The Vivien who'd once watched over my every need didn't notice the red, swollen burn on my arm this time.

I didn't dare make another sound. I could only crawl back to my own bedroom, inch by inch.

Buddy was so good, lying quietly across my legs, letting out the faintest whimper.

I fumbled iodine onto Buddy and onto myself.

One man and one dog, we curled against each other and collapsed onto the bed.

Even five years blind, I still couldn't get used to the dark world.

Five years ago, late at night, a fire broke out. Vivien was trapped inside.

I ran in to save her without a second's hesitation.

My mother, frightened for me, ran in after us.

Vivien came out fine. My mother stayed in that fire forever.

And my eyes were burned blind by the smoke.

My mother's body wasn't even cold, wasn't even buried, before my father couldn't wait to bring Darrell and his mother home.

From then on my life felt like it had dropped into hell.

The two of them always waited until my father was out, then beat and kicked me.

My arms and back are covered with scars where they burned me with cigarette butts.

The worst time, they took my mother's memorial photo.

They forced me to crawl like a dog and eat pig slop, then threw my mother's photo into the cesspit.

"Dead people's things are the worst luck. That short-lived mother of yours belongs down in the muck."

That day, Vivien came storming in with a knife, eyes red, and took me back to this house.

Afraid I'd struggle to get by, she brought me Buddy, freshly finished with his training.

"Charlie, don't be scared."

"From now on Buddy will be your eyes, and so will I. We'll be with you our whole lives."

Turns out a whole life was only five years long.

The one who once stood between me and the storm had, with her own hands, handed the storm right back to me.

2: 2

2

When I woke the next morning, my hand reached for Buddy's harness the way it always did. It closed on nothing.

Vivien's words from the day before came back to me, and I rushed out without even putting on my shoes.

"Buddy, Buddy…"

Somewhere overnight a few boxes had appeared in the living room. I tripped over one and cracked my forehead hard against the corner of the table.

There was movement at the door.

"So early, and here's my brother putting on a whole sob story on the floor?"

"To close the distance between us brothers, I went and bought Buddy some premium dog food."

Every nerve in me pulled tight.

Darrell was a devil. In front of people he was a harmless little saint.

Behind everyone's back he was vicious and cruel, and back in those days I'd suffered plenty at his hands.

"No need."

"Viv, look at him. He's got such a bias against me, I really don't know what to do."

Vivien's cold voice landed by my ear.

"Charles, Darrell is your brother. Can't you act a little like an older brother should?"

She had seen with her own eyes how Darrell and his mother treated me, and now she stood on their side.

"Darrell was young and didn't know better back then. Now he wants to mend things with you, so don't be so ungrateful."

I clamped my hands over my ears, my chest so tight it hurt.

Buddy seemed to sense how close I was to breaking, and nudged the palm of my hand with his nose.

The next moment he let out a low whimper and dropped to the floor in pain.

"Buddy, what's wrong?"

I couldn't see. All I could feel was the wetness around his mouth.

"What's the matter with you now, this early in the morning, does it ever end—"

Vivien's words cut off the instant she saw the state Buddy was in.

"What did you do to Buddy? Why is he throwing up this much?"

The one she instinctively blamed was always me.

Buddy was taken to the hospital, diagnosed with food poisoning.

The vet detected a large amount of xylitol in his stomach.

"Xylitol is a lethal toxin for dogs. The dose is well over the limit, his organs are already damaged, we have to pump his stomach and treat him right now."

"What exactly did you feed Buddy?"

Darrell's eyes went red with hurt, his voice breaking.

"I don't know. I only wanted to be good to him."

Vivien shoved me hard.

"Darrell didn't mean to. He already feels terrible about it."

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

When Buddy first came to us, and got an upset stomach by accident.

Vivien had stayed beside me, never leaving Buddy's side. She'd said,

"Buddy is family. We'll protect him together."

The stomach pump was agony. Buddy's small body kept convulsing, yet he was so good he didn't let out a single cry.

I held him through a whole day on the IV drip.

When we came back from dinner that evening, Buddy was gone from the bed.

The vet said Vivien had taken him away.

A bad feeling shot through me, and I quickly called Vivien.

No one answered.

I could only feel my way home alone.

Without Buddy's help, I nearly got hit by cars more than once.

Bowing again and again to apologize.

"Where's Buddy?"

Looking at the miserable state of me, Vivien didn't feel a shred of guilt.

"Darrell was scared you'd blame him, so he moved back to the old estate tonight."

"He's frightened on his own, so he borrowed Buddy to keep him company and watch the place."

Darrell was a devil. How could I ever feel easy handing Buddy over to him?

My voice shook with panic as I begged, humbling myself.

"Tell him to bring Buddy back. I'll take Buddy and leave, all right?"

But Vivien was thoroughly impatient.

"Charles, being blind doesn't make you right. We've been bending over backwards to look after you at every turn."

"Can't you show a little sense?"

I shook my head desperately, tears spilling down.

"Viv, Buddy is still sick. I'm begging you, get him back."

Vivien pried my fingers loose one by one, her voice weary.

"Darrell's probably already asleep. If I go bother him now, he won't get any sleep tonight."

"Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll bring Buddy back, okay?"

3: 3

3

I sat there frozen the whole night, and every second dragged.

The moment the alarm went off, I couldn't wait. I knocked on Vivien's door.

"It's morning. Let's go bring Buddy back, okay?"

The room was silent. No answer.

My heart dropped. I felt my way in, and the bedding was cool.

She'd left long ago.

I couldn't wait another minute.

I'd already lost my mother, and now Vivien was gone too.

All I had left was Buddy.

Five years later, I set foot in that heartbreaking place again.

There was a party going on at the old estate, a whole crowd of people making a racket.

I'd barely stepped inside when a fleshy hand landed on my shoulder.

"Who ordered this male escort? Kind of kinky, ordering a blind one."

"Shh, you want to get yourself killed? That's the one the young lady keeps stashed away outside—"

Their voices dropped low, and the woman who'd spoken first was bowing and scraping toward someone up ahead.

"Miss, I'm sorry, my mouth runs off, I deserve a slap."

Vivien's lazy voice drifted over.

"Yours, mine, what's the difference. He belongs to everyone."

I stood rooted where I was.

There was a time when a stranger muttering "blind man" in passing was enough to make Vivien snap.

Even beaten and bruised all over, she'd shield me with her body, her eyes burning and fierce.

"Remember, to me, Charlie is the finest man in the world."

"No one gets to look down on you. No one."

And now she was looking down on me right alongside them.

A dense, prickling pain spread through my chest.

I turned toward where Vivien stood, fighting back the tears in my eyes.

"Where's Buddy? You promised you'd give Buddy back to me today."

Darrell walked up to me carrying a bottle of liquor.

"Drink this, big brother, and I'll tell you. How about that?"

I'm allergic to alcohol. As a kid, before I knew better, I sneaked one of those liquor-filled chocolates and broke out in a rash all over.

Vivien had gone white with fright, holding me and swearing she'd never let another drop of alcohol touch me.

"Tell me. Where exactly is Buddy?"

Vivien's cool voice cut in.

"Charles, Darrell's talking to you."

Darrell pressed the heavy bottle into my hands.

My unfocused eyes turned toward where Vivien was.

"Is this what you want too?"

"Mm. What Darrell wants is what I want."

Terrified something would happen to Buddy, I held the bottle and gulped it down, throat working.

The burning liquid poured down my throat, and I choked and coughed.

My head started to swim, but I forced myself to swallow the last mouthful.

"Can you tell me now?"

Darrell let out a cold snort.

"How dull. The old dog's out behind the house."

At some point it had started pouring outside.

I didn't know the ground, and I stumbled with every step.

I tripped over and over, slamming hard into the mud.

My knees split open, my palms scraped raw, my forearms streaked with cuts.

Muddy water mixed with blood, dripping off my limbs.

But I didn't dare stop. I pushed myself up and kept feeling my way forward.

My Buddy was still waiting for me.

Finally, through the wind and rain, I heard Buddy's low whimper.

I felt my way toward the sound. He was tied to a wire fence post.

The rope was only half a meter long. Buddy couldn't crouch and couldn't stand straight, so he had to hunch, and I didn't know how long he'd been like that.

He was shivering in the rain, the smell of his own vomit thick in the air.

I couldn't undo the dead knot in the wire.

I tore at it with my bare hands, and the wire cut into my palm, blood mixing with the rain.

Buddy was so weak he could barely stand, but he still remembered his job.

He lowered his head and nuzzled my palm, and though he stumbled with every step, he still did his duty and led the way for me.

Just as we were about to reach the doorway, Darrell blocked the path.

Buddy trembled and pressed against my leg.

"Charles, you lost again."

Against him, it seemed I'd never once won.

He could always take what was mine without any effort.

Before, it was our father's love. Now it was Vivien's affection.

I tightened my grip on the leash.

Staring into the empty dark, I felt everything inside me go barren.

There was no one here worth staying for anymore.

Once Buddy recovered, I'd take him and leave this place.