2: 2

Hearing that, my grip on the hem of my shirt tightened.

Why was it that one offhand remark from Greg, that the tonic smelled like it cost less than fifty dollars, was enough for Grandma and my father to believe him completely?

Why was it always like this, for as long as I could remember?

A few careless words from Greg, and Grandma was happy, and she believed him.

But no matter what I did, in Grandma's eyes it was always wrong.

The whole time she'd been in the hospital, I was the one who took time off work to stay by her side and care for her.

Every day she'd scowl and say she didn't want to see me, yet when it came to asking things of me and spending my money, she never hesitated for a second.

Greg came by the hospital once when he had a spare moment, stayed less than two minutes, walked off with two thousand dollars from her hand, and she was moved beyond words.

She went around the ward bragging to everyone about how devoted and considerate her grandson was.

The people at the hospital weren't fools. They knew it was me who stayed with Grandma, me who took care of her.

Someone spoke up about it on my behalf, and all it earned me was Grandma's cursing for no reason.

This time, for the herbs, my father hadn't given me a cent either. I'd paid out of my own pocket for the best, most expensive tonic for Grandma, and this was how they treated me.

When my mother was still alive, there was at least someone to shield me, someone to speak up for me.

But now she was gone, and there was no one left in this family who would say a word for me.

Looking at this happy, harmonious little family in front of me, I suddenly felt tired to the bone.

It seemed that no matter how much I gave, no matter how obedient and good I was, the family who shared my name would never accept me.

2.

My father joined Grandma in shouting me down.

"You've got a rotten heart! Your grandma's been so good to you—who on earth taught you to poison your own grandmother like this?"

"You must have cursed your own mother to death too! When I get old, are you going to poison me along with her, just for the inheritance?"

"No, I didn't—" I never once thought about hurting anyone.

Before I could finish, Greg cut me off, urgent.

"Grandma, my little cousin is still young and doesn't know any better. Leave the herbs to me. Three hundred dollars, and I guarantee you'll be healthy and live to a hundred!"

"Don't be angry anymore. Say what you will, she's still blood of the Dickerson family. We can correct her slowly, guide her back onto the right path."

Grandma smiled and handed her pension card to Greg. "All right. It's still my good grandson who's thoughtful and knows how to care for me. Whatever's left after buying the medicine, you keep it and spend it!"

"You're the one who understands things best, always so understanding. If your cousin had even half your sense, this family would be happy and harmonious. It wouldn't be like now, with the whole house full of bad blood."

I couldn't stand this browbeating a moment longer.

With one sweep of my arm, I sent everything on the coffee table flying at them.

"Enough! If he were really so devoted and dutiful, he wouldn't have taken two thousand dollars from you while you were sick! You mean you can't hear how everyone at the hospital talks about your favoritism?"

"If he really has it in him to get you a tonic just as good as mine for three hundred, then I'll have nothing more to say. But if he can't, then remember, he owes me an apology!"

It was the first time I'd ever dared to talk to them like that, and for a moment they were stunned.

I didn't wait for them to react. I got up, picked up the herbs, and went back to my own bedroom.

I'd paid for those herbs with my own money, so there was no way I'd let them have them for free.

Anyway, no matter what I said, Grandma would never believe me. It would only make her more resentful, and my father wouldn't care about me either.

If that was how it was, then there was no reason for me to keep swallowing my pride in this family.

3: 3

With my mother gone, I had stopped being able to live in this house long ago.

They couldn't stand having me around, and I saw no reason to sit here waiting for them to throw me out.

Grandma took my words as a challenge to her authority as an elder.

It only made her angrier, and she started sniping at my back.

"A worthless girl can't even take a couple of words? Black-hearted, vicious, and still won't let anyone say so?"

"If Greg weren't such a kind boy, taking pity on his cousin and speaking up for you, I'd have driven you out ages ago!"

"Back in the day, if a worthless girl had a temper like yours, what family would've taken you in? They'd probably have beaten you to death already!"

My father, of course, joined his mother in taking jabs at me.

"I honestly don't know if you're even mine. There isn't a single thing about you that looks like me, head to toe."

"If your mother hadn't passed, I'd want to ask her to her face whether you were some bastard she got fooling around behind my back!"

Whether they threw me out or not, I no longer wanted to stay here.

Who knew what stunt my cousin would pull next?

I had no intention of staying to take the blame for him.

3.

Back in my bedroom, I called Renee Swanson.

I told her to cancel all the herbal orders I'd placed.

Renee knew what my family was like, and she asked me anxiously,

"Did your grandma and your dad get on you again?"

"You treat your grandma so well. If that still isn't enough for her, isn't that going too far?"

I let out a soft sigh.

And told her everything that had just happened.

"What?" Renee burst out. "What gives your cousin the right to spew that garbage?"

"He can decide my grandpa's herbs are cheap junk off a single sentence? Where's his proof?"

I told her to calm down.

"You know how my grandma dotes on him, and my dad does whatever she says. I've already decided to move out. I don't want to live with them anymore."

The moment Renee heard I was moving out, she eagerly invited me to come stay at her place.

She added, "I've been feeling how empty the house is on my own anyway. Come live with me!"

That actually seemed like a decent choice.

I'd just agreed when my cousin knocked on my door.

"Gail, calling you out like that today really was wrong of me, as your older cousin."

"Open up. I want to apologize to your face and clear up this misunderstanding."

Apologize to me?

A weasel wishing me a happy new year. There was nothing good behind it.

I ignored him.

He went right on talking. "Gail, I'm sure you'd like to make a good impression on Grandma and your dad too, wouldn't you?"

"I've got an opportunity here that could smooth things over between the two of you."

Wasn't he the one who'd turned my relationship with Grandma into this in the first place?

I thought it over, started a recording, and opened the door.

4: 4

The second my cousin saw me, he got right to it. "Come on, that herbal medicine's just sitting there doing you no good. Why not hand it over to me? Whatever you buy for the second half of the year, you give it all to me."

"I think my nose got it wrong earlier. That medicine of yours isn't cheap junk after all. It's the expensive kind."

His lie was the reason Grandma and my father had torn into me.

And now, one throwaway line about his nose making a mistake, and he expected me to just hand the medicine over?

Since when did things work out that nicely?

I turned him down flat.

Greg put on an apologetic face. "I get it, I get it. Can't just take it off you for free. After all, you cost money too."

He dug a hundred out of his pocket and held it out to me.

"A hundred bucks should cover it. I know you're tight with Renee. There's no way she'd charge you top dollar."

Like he was doing me some kind of charity.

Several thousand dollars' worth of medicine, and he wanted to buy it off me for a hundred?

I had good reason to suspect the whole thing today had been his setup.

Wanting to take medicine I'd paid for and use it to worm his way into Grandma's good graces. Not a chance.

"Grandma handed you her whole pension card, and all you're giving me is a hundred?" My voice climbed. "Why don't you just rob me instead?"

"So you admit your nose got it wrong? The way I see it, you framed me on purpose so Grandma and my dad would rip into me!"

"If you actually mean this apology, and you actually want to buy the medicine I've got, then give me ten thousand. Then I'll think about it!"

The instant I named a high price, Greg blew up.

He swung a fist into the door frame.

"Ten thousand? Gail, are you out of your goddamn mind trying to squeeze money out of me?"

"Let me tell you something, I got you yelled at on purpose! Looking at your pathetic, money-grubbing face, you had it coming!"

"You don't actually think Grandma would like you if I hadn't stirred the pot, do you? Dream on! The only person Grandma will ever love is a grandson! Not some worthless girl!"

"I was going to buy it off you for a hundred and say a few nice words about you to Grandma. Now I can see you don't even deserve that!"

Seeing that none of it moved me, he only got more worked up.

He jabbed a finger at me and shouted, "Gail, you just wait! Don't think you'll ever see a single cent of Grandma's money!"

"Don't go thinking I'm stuck without your medicine! I was only giving you this chance because you're my cousin! You're the one who threw it away! Don't you dare regret it later!"

I watched him stalk off, then reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear.

I don't know who'll end up regretting anything, but it won't be me.

The next day, I packed a few things and moved out.

When Grandma and my father found out, all they said was good riddance, don't ever come back.

I didn't care. I had no intention of going back anyway.

Later I heard my cousin had found some herb up in the mountains that cured every illness, that it prolonged your life, that drink it long enough and you'd live forever.

Grandma was thrilled about it. With one grand gesture she rewarded Greg with a hundred thousand dollars.

He even made a point of taking a photo to rub it in my face.

I glanced at it, thought the whole thing was ridiculous, and didn't give it another thought.

A month later, I got an emergency call from my father.

"Gail! Your grandma's been rushed into the ER, get over here now!"

Behind him on the line I could hear my cousin, panicked, yelling.

"My grandma's going to be okay, right? She's going to be fine, isn't she? Doctor, say something!"