By the time I get back to my dorm exhausted and drained, all I want is silence, a nap, and maybe for my brain to stop screaming "honey" every time I inhale, and "mate" every time I exhale.

What I do not want? To walk in on my two best friends sucking face on the couch like a they're eating each other's souls.

"Oh for fuck's sake," I blurt before I can even stop myself.

August yelps and practically launches herself off Ethan, but it's too late. His lips are red, her hair is a mess, and their guilty faces scream busted.

"Wow," I drawl, leaning against the doorframe. "So this is what you two do when I'm not around? Interesting."

"We-It's not-" August stammers, her hands flailing like she's trying to erase the last thirty seconds from existence.

Ethan, ever the calm one, just clears his throat and sits up straighter, like maybe if he acts mature, I'll forget I saw him with his tongue halfway down my best friend's throat.

I grin wickedly, suddenly enjoying the moment. "Relax, lovebirds. I'm not judging. Just saying it's going to be really awkward when you break up. And for the record-" I point a finger at Ethan, "-I'm taking his side."

August gasps. "Excuse me?"

"What? He cooks. You don't. I have priorities."

"Olivia!"

"Don't Olivia me. We've been eating cereals for the past month."

"It's not like you were bothered."

Ethan chuckles under his breath, and August glares at both of us like we're conspiring against her.

I move into the space fully, setting my bag down on the couch and then, taking off my shoes.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work, Ethan?"

"Uh...I'm off today."

"Right, the fire department let you off so you can come in and kiss my best friend?"

"Olivia!" August squeals and tosses a pillow at me, which I dodge smoothly as I walk over to the refrigerator.

I'm about to grab myself a can of soda when Ethan stands up from the couch he's sitting on and approaches me slowly.

"So," he says slowly, "about this Zeke guy..." his hands are folded neatly across his chest and his eyes aren't joking anymore.

I pause, my heart beat picking up a pace suddenly. "What about him?"

August perks up, instantly curious. "Yeah, Liv. You never finished telling us. What really happened last night?"

God, I was hoping this was something of the past. Although what did I really expect?

August believes I was possibly taken advantage of, and she would have passed that thought to Ethan.

Ethan is not the kind of guy to let these kind of things slide, especially when it comes to me.

He's older and he's smarter. Yes, he does stupid things like agreeing to go to the woods last night, but it doesn't make him any less wiser.

He won't let this go until he's sure there's no threat, and no one to beat up.

Heat crawls up my neck from the sudden attention on me, and my teeth clenches. "I already told you. Nothing I didn't want to happen."

Ethan frowns, leaning forward. "But you don't remember it, do you? You were baked. So How can you be sure?"

My jaw tightens. "Because I just am, okay?"

"You can tell them instincts?" My mind offers, but I shake it off.

"That's not good enough," he presses in a calm voice, but stubborn. "I need to know you weren't taken advantage of."

The words dig under my skin, sharp and irritating, like splinters. I think back to Zeke, to his genuine stare when he told me everything that happened last night was what I wanted.

"I wasn't, guys. Okay?"

"Olivia..." Ethan draws out.

I'm getting pissed already. I know he means well, but it feels like an interrogation and I feel cornered.

"I wasn't!" I snap. "God, why won't you believe me?"

"Because you don't remember!"

The room goes tense. August bites her lip, glancing between us like a referee in a boxing ring.

"I don't need to remember to know it was consensual," I say more calmly now. "I know what I wanted."

Ethan's jaw works. "Olivia-"

"No. Stop. You're not my brother, Ethan, you can't be forcing answers out of me." The words rip out of me, harsher than I mean them.

The second they leave my mouth, the air freezes. His face falls, the hurt flashing clear in his eyes before he masks it. August inhales sharply like I just punched her.

Shit.

"I didn't mean-" I start, but the damage is already done. My chest feels tight, too tight, and I can't stand their stares another second.

So I storm off to my room, slamming the door like the melodramatic queen I apparently am.

Behind the closed doors, I wallow in self hate. How could I have said that to him?

Yeah, Ethan's not Luke. He'll never be Luke. But he's tried, in his own way, and what did I do? Shoved it in his face.

Brilliant, Olivia. A+ friend material.

All he was trying to do was make sure I was okay, and there I was, shoving it right up his ass?

"Even Judas wouldn't have done that," my mind purrs.

"Oh, you just shut up okay? I don't need you adding more salts to my wounds."

"Your wounds? Last I checked, Ethan was the one you threw under the bus and left for dead."

"Shut–"

"You know, you should probably go back out there and remedy this before it's too late."

I could do that, but I'm too embarrassed to go back out there. However, the guilt eats me at me until I can't take it anymore, and after maybe five minutes of sulking, I fling my door open again.

Just in time to catch August ushering Ethan toward the front door, her hand on his arm like she's begging him not to leave angry.

"Wait," I blurt.

They both turn, surprised. Ethan cocks an eyebrow at me, and his jaw is still tense. My stomach twists, but I force myself to continue.

"Can I uh...can I walk you back?" I ask him. My voice is softer this time, almost apologetic. "We should...talk."

His lips curve downward, but after a beat, he nods. "Alright."

The walk is quiet at first, the evening air cool against my burning cheeks. I shove my hands in my hoodie pocket, staring at the pavement like it holds the secrets of the universe.

It's Zeke's hoodie, and I'm trying my best not to fold under the scent of it.

Ethan is silent too by my side, and he doesn't even spare me a glance. The only sounds between us is our footsteps and the low hum of activity from around us.

Finally, I force the words out. "I'm sorry. For what I said. It wasn't fair."

He sighs, hands in his pockets too. "I don't know what's come over you, but you should know by now that all I want is to make sure you're okay. If I sound imposing, it's because I care. And yes, I'm not Luke, but before he died, he made me promise to be him for you. To be your brother, and that's what I'm always trying to do."

Now I feel more like shit.

"I'm sorry, I...I really appreciate you being here for me and I don't mind you being imposing, but it's just that..."

"It's just what, Liv?"

"I don't remember, okay? I don't remember what Zeke and I talked about, I don't know what led up to the moment, I don't...I only remember his face and the feeling of him."

Ethan doesn't press me right away, which is weird because normally he'd be lecturing me about making smarter choices, or quoting Luke like some gospel of responsibility.

Instead, he just walks beside me, hands stuffed deep in his jacket pockets, like he's holding back a thousand words.

I almost wish he'd yell at me. At least yelling I can deflect with sarcasm. This quiet, careful Ethan makes my stomach twist worse than any argument.

Finally, he speaks. "Liv... I know you. You don't just hang out with strangers, more so get intimate with them. Don't you think for the slightest that he may have taken advantage of you? Is his name even Zeke or are you making that up? Just so August and I get off your back?"

I snort, trying to cover the fact that his words hit a nerve. "Well, surprise! Olivia finally stepped out of her shell and decided to fuck a stranger."

He doesn't laugh. Figures.

"I'm serious," he says, his voice low.

I want to tell him that there's a certain way my body responds to Zeke. That my mind suddenly became alive after our encounter and it calls him mate. I want to tell him that his scent holds a power over me that none other has ever held.

But I know that's crazy talk and he'd probably think I'm still high as shit. So I tell him instead, "I saw him today. Zeke? I saw him and he assured me that everything that happened last night was what I wanted. He was surprised that I didn't remember and he assured me it was purely consensual."

"What if he's just manipulating you to believe that? How did he even know where to find you? What if he's stalking you?"

"Ethan," I groan out and pick up my pace. He picks up his pace too.

"Honestly, the next time you see him, maybe get his number so we can chat? How about that?"

"Yes, Ethan."

We walk in silence again. The hoodie still carries that honey scent, faint but stubborn, curling into my senses until my body reacts like I'm standing next to Zeke all over again. It's maddening. Like he's everywhere, even now.

"Because he is," the smug voice in my head chimes in. "He's everywhere you go, now."

"Fantastic," I mutter under my breath. "Even my hallucinations have a stalker kink now."

"What?" Ethan glances at me.

"Nothing," I say quickly, forcing a smile that feels more like a grimace. "Just talking to myself. You know me."

"Yeah," he says softly. "I do."

We reach his street faster than I expect, and I stop at the bottom of the steps to his house. For a moment, neither of us moves. The porch light flickers above us, painting the night in a pale glow.

I shove my hands deeper into my pockets, staring at the ground. "Look, Ethan... I really didn't mean what I said earlier. About you not being Luke."

He exhales slowly. "You did. And you're right. I'm not him."

My head snaps up. His expression is unreadable, but his eyes...God, his eyes look tired, and sad.

"I've tried, Liv," he continues. "I've tried to look out for you the way he would have. But I know I can't replace him. I just...I don't want you to feel alone."

My chest aches and the guilt I've been dragging around all day doubles in weight.

"I know," I whisper. "And I appreciate it. More than I say. But I don't want you to carry all my mess. You've got your own life. And now-" I smirk weakly, "-apparently, my best friend's lipstick smeared across your face."

That earns a faint laugh out of him, and relief loosens the knot in my chest.

"Yeah, about that..." he starts, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Don't," I cut in quickly, holding up a hand. "Save the awkward talk. If you two are official now, fine. Just don't do it on the couch where I eat my popcorn, okay?"

He chuckles again, shaking his head. "You're a mess up there, you know?"

"And yet you keep me around," I shoot back.

The air between us softens, and I'm relieved to see him back to his goofy self.

"Get some rest, Liv," he says finally, stepping up toward his door. "And... if you see this Zeke guy again, promise me you'll be careful."

I roll my eyes, but my chest warms in spite of myself. "Yes, Dad."

"I mean it."

"I know you do."

He disappears inside, leaving me on the sidewalk with nothing but the flickering porch light and the quiet hum of my own racing thoughts.

I hear the snapping of a twig and I look around. Nothing and no one.

I shrug and begin my walk back to my dorm.

August stirs her half empty cup of iced coffee with her straw, eyes sparkling in that way that tells me she's about to drop news that will either make me laugh or gag.

Probably both.

"So..." she starts, dragging the word out until I roll my eyes. "Ethan and I realized something."

"Please don't say it's that you're related. I can't handle that twist today."

She smacks my arm with her straw, grinning. "Shut up. No. We realized we feel...more. More than just friends."

"I mean you were kissing on our couch, so duh."

"Yes, that and we're kinda official."

I blink at her, dramatically slow. Then I gasp, clutching my chest. "Oh my God, Gus, does this mean... Ethan's going to give me little blonde, freckled nieces and nephews who'll call me Auntie Liv?"

Her cheeks flush, but she doesn't deny it. "Well...maybe someday. But we're taking it slow."

I groan, dragging my palms down my face. "Ugh, you're serious. This is serious. You actually like him. As in... like-like."

She gives me that patient look-the one that says she knows exactly how dramatic I'm being but is humoring me anyway. "Yes, Olivia. I like-like him. And he like-likes me back. Shocking, I know."

I sigh as if the weight of her revelation has crushed my spirit. "Fine. But when you two inevitably have babies, I'm not babysitting unless they come with their own instruction manuals."

August laughs, leaning back in her chair. "Why is it only babies that come to mind? Why not me moving in with him when we graduate, which is roughly eight months from now?"

"Oh, I'm expecting that soon. I'll head back to my parents and finally be alone, like I was meant to be."

She smiles, and I reach to pick up a muffin, only to realize the plate is empty and I've also run out of coffee.

"Refill?" I ask, standing before she can answer.

"Yes, please." She beams at me like I'm a saint for fetching her caffeine.

I head toward the counter, balancing two mugs and a plate with the grace of someone who's definitely had practice multitasking.

After getting us the coffee and snacks we need, I begin to head back to our table.

I'm halfway back when someone bumps me from behind. Hard. My coffee sloshes, the pastries tumble, and before I can even swear properly, everything is on the floor.

"Seriously-" I snap, spinning around, but my words die in my throat when that sweet scent of honey teases my nose.

Sweet, dizzying, curling into my brain and melting every muscle in my body like I've been drugged. My knees wobble.

"Mate!" the voice in my head squeals, practically bouncing off the walls of my mind. "He's here! He's HERE!"

I don't need to turn to know who it is. My body already knows.

Zeke crouches before me, scooping up the ruined pastries with a sheepish grin. "Guess that's my fault. I should've watched where I was going."

He straightens, and yeah, up close in broad daylight, he's still stupidly attractive. Tattoos inked down his arms, eyes sparkling with amusement, hair a perfect mess like he rolled out of bed looking that good.

His hair is not in a man bun or a ponytail today, it frames his face and rests on his shoulders, making him look slightly feminine.

"I'll pay for these," he says before I can argue.

"You don't have to-"

He waves me off, already moving to the counter. "I insist. Think of it as my apology for almost destroying breakfast."

"Breakfast, lunch, dinner, dessert," the voice purrs. "He could destroy all of it."

"Oh my God, shut up," I mutter.

"What was that?" Zeke glances back at me, one brow raised.

"Nothing." Heat creeps up my neck. Fantastic.

"I told you Olivia, you can talk to me without speaking out loud, dummy."

"I forgot."

"I'm not the one the world would tag mad anyway."

When Zeke returns, he's holding the tray with effortless ease, balancing both mugs and pastries like a pro. He grins. "Where to?"

I narrow my eyes. "You're not seriously walking me back to my table, are you?"

"Why not?" His grin widens, smug and boyish all at once. "You might trip again."

"What are you eve doing here, Zeke? Are you stalking me?" I demand, keeping my voice low.

His eyes gleam with mischief. "Do you believe in coincidence?"

"Oh, so it was coincidence yesterday? You don't even go to this school, heck, I don't even think you're from town."

"Does that concern you?"

"This feels like harassment," I mutter.

Still, I don't stop him when he follows me back to August. In fact, I try as much as I discreetly can to breathe him all in and enjoy his casual company.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but... yeah. I'm suddenly insane over this strange beauty of a man.

"August, this is... Zeke," I say flatly as soon as we reach our table.

August looks up, and her jaw literally drops. Subtlety is dead. "Oh. My. God."

Zeke flashes her a smile so charming, that something ugly in me wakes up and I want to strangle him.

"Nice to meet you, August. I hear you've got Olivia wrapped around your finger."

August giggles...giggles! And I know I've lost her. "She exaggerates everything. Don't listen to her."

"Oh, I don't," Zeke says lightly, sliding into the seat beside me like he owns the place. "But it's fun watching her try."

August laughs again, and my blood pressure skyrockets.

Zeke looks away briefly and August mouths to me, "That's him? THE Zeke??!"

I nod with a half smile, though there's something ugly in me that wants to wipe her memory clean of this meeting with him.

"It's the jealousy, darling," my mind purrs, and though it tries to sound relaxed, I can pick up the slight undertone of irritation.

For the next twenty minutes, Zeke entertains August with ridiculous jokes, exaggerated impressions, and stories that may or may not be lies, judging by the sparkle in his eyes.

And August? She eats it all up, forgetting that this is the man she once accused of taking advantage of me some nights ago.

Meanwhile, I sit there grinding my teeth, trying not to look at the way his tattoos flex when he gestures or how his voice drops when he says my name, or how his eyes twinkles when they meet mine.

Finally, he stands, stretching. "Well ladies, as much as I'll love to stay, I've got some where to be. Can't be late now, can I?"

"Suddenly you remember you have somewhere to be," I mutter, trying to mask my disappointment with his sudden departure.

He winks. "What can I say? A pretty lady always distracts me, not to talk of two." He turns to August who turns tomato red.

Then, before I can dodge, he leans down and pinches my cheek. My cheek. Like I'm five.

But the second his fingers brush my skin, heat explodes through me, sharp and hot, and my breath catches.

"See you soon, sunshine," he murmurs, and then he's gone.

I sit frozen, face burning, body humming like I just touched a live wire.

August, meanwhile, is practically fanning herself. "Liv. He is the most attractive man I have ever seen. Did you see his tattoos? They're unreal. And that accent? That is not Australian, no way. Magical. He's magical."

I groan, dropping my forehead onto the table. "Please stop."

"No, really, Liv," she gushes. "I believe you now. When you said you were with him that night? Totally consensual. I mean... who could say no to that?"

Mortification claws through me, mixed with something dark and sharp-jealousy. "August, maybe think about Ethan before you drool all over the table."

She smirks knowingly, sipping her coffee. "Relax. I'm not stealing your man."

My head jerks up. "He's not my-"

But the look on her face shuts me right up.

"We would not talk about him, okay? Ever," I say instead.

"Hm, we'll see about that."

During my last lecture, something flashed through my mind. It was a memory, but it doesn't make any sense to me.

It was from the Halloween night and I was in the woods. For some reason, it felt like I was lying on the ground and someone was speaking.

Except the voice I heard wasn't Zeke's, which is weird because I know that the only person I was with that night was Zeke.

Was there someone else?

I tried to squeeze out more to make more sense of it, but nothing.

It's like I can't even remember on command.

"It's going to come to you when it wants to, Liv. Don't be pushing it like that," my mind tells me.

It's true. My mother has always told me that it's no use trying to force something. When it comes, it comes.

So I should listen to my mind, right?

However, there's just a gut feeling that what I'm forgetting is a life changing piece. Something that may have traumatized my memory into forgetting.

Something that will change my perspective of the world forever.

Just a gut feeling.

Which is why it's tormenting to have the memories come in bits and pieces.

"Maybe it's a life changing piece, but what if you're not ready to have your life changed?" My mind tells me. "Don't push it yet."

"I'll never be ready to have my life changed either ways," I bite back mentally.

"Oh, you'd be thankful for this life changing information, I tell you."

"What makes you say so?"

"You live in a not so small town, you attend the community college, you only ever left town three times in all your life... darling, you don't have a life."

"We...you mean we."

"No, I mean you."

I'm snapped back to reality when a passing student bumps my shoulder. Taking a deep breath, I begin to make my way to my next lecture room.

"You know, something tells me that you're aware of what happened that night," I think and my mind scoffs.

"I only remember the part that concerns me."

"Which is?"

"Ezekiel."

"Of course," I roll my eyes, pushing through the crowd in the campus corridors. "Wouldn't you–"

My thoughts are halted by the sweet scent of honey. My breath catches in my lungs and I spin around before I can stop myself.

Is he here? I can smell him.

I scan the sea of faces, looking for a particular red head with tattooed arms and neck, enchanting green eyes, a lopsided grin, and that infuriating calm that always makes my chest tighten.

But I find nothing.

The crowd surges around me, normal students with normal backpacks and normal cologne.

My heart falls instantly and I'm about to resume in my steps when I perceive it again.

Is he playing tricks on me?

I whip my head around, almost colliding with a girl about my height.

"Sorry," I mutter, even though she's already gone ahead and didn't hear me.

I crane my head through the crowd, hoping that I missed him the first time, but still I see nothing.

"He's not here," I mutter under my breath. "I'm hallucinating his scent now?"

"I'm surprised you can't tell the difference between his scent and cheap shampoo," my mind snorts.

"I'm not a dog with sharp senses," I counter, resuming in my steps again.

"You have no idea," my mind sighs. "But dare I say, I'm glad you're just as obsessed with him as I am. Even though you lie to yourself."

"I'm not obsessed with him."

"Oh really? So what do we call what just happened here?"

"He's been around here two days in a row, stalking me. So it was safe to assume he could have been here today."

"The leap in your heart when you thought he was here?"

"I was scared."

"The crashing down of your heart beat and the disappointment when you found out he wasn't here?"

"I was–"

I bump into someone with just enough force to spin me and trip over my feet, but before I fall, steady hands keep me in place.

I look up to mutter a half thought apology, but my eyes lock with a pair of lazy greys.

Noah.

Of course, just my luck that I'd run into the very guy that has been on my tail all through the summer.

"Uh Liv? That's not Zeke," my mind muses.

"Olivia!" His grin is so wide, it makes my cheeks ache just looking at him. He adjusts his messenger bag, leaning a little too close. "Hey, I've been trying to catch you all week. I'm beginning to feel like you're avoiding me."

Yes I have been, you didn't take the hint?

"Oh, hi...well, no, God, no I wasn't...I wasn't avoiding you," I force the words out of my mouth before my facial expressions can mirror exactly what I'm thinking on the inside.

"Oh great," he beams. "I tried calling the number you gave me, but August kept picking up and she–"

"What do you want, Noah?" I cut off, impatiently.

But no matter how snappish I sound, his smile doesn't falter, which is mildly impressive.

"The same I've been wanting all summer?"

"And that is?"

"Dinner. With me. Tonight, maybe? Or wherever you're free...if that's okay. The last thing I want is to bother you."

Well, isn't that too late already?

"Nope, never. Turn him down and send him on his merry way to hell. We have a mate," my mind snaps.

"Shut up," I hiss out loud.

Noah blinks. "Uh...okay?"

"Not you." I plaster on a fake smile. "And you know what? I think I would like to grab dinner with you tonight."

"What?? OLIVIA?!" There's a high pitched screech in my head, but I try to ignore it.

Noah's face lights up like he just won the lottery. "Really? Cool. Eight o'clock? I'll pick you up?"

"Sure." I'm already walking away, muttering under my breath, "I'm excited."

"And what the fuck are you doing?"

"Wouldn't you wanna know," I huff.

What am I doing? I'm proving to myself that I'm not obsessed with Zeke. He's a stranger I barely know, and my body is already reacting to him in ways it hasn't reacted to anyone?

Hell no.

Noah on the other hand is a guy I've known since Freshman year in college. He's sweet, he's attractive, though not as attractive as Zeke, but still, he's not bad.

He's also kinda loaded. His step father runs a big business in the city, plus he's really nerdy.

I've never given him much thought because girls flock around him like moths drawn to a flame and I don't like to feast on a guy who is already being feasted on.

"So you're doing this because you want to prove that you're not obsessed with the only man you should be obsessed with?" My mind tuts.

"Doesn't that sound weird to you? Why would I obsess over one guy when there's like four billion of them worldwide?"

"You're going to regret this."

Welp...I already do.

********************

I get back to my dorm with exhausted and drained, and I'm about to fuck it all and go to bed, but then I remember I have a date.

"Urgh, fuck me!" I groan as I make my way to August's room.

She's sprawled on her bed with a goofy grin on her face and on her screen in Ethan. They're Face timing and I can see that he's at work.

"Gussssss!" I groan, making my way to her bed and dropping down on her.

"Liv? Gosh, I didn't hear you come in."

"I wonder why," I smirk, eyeing her screen.

Her face goes red but she doesn't say anything.

"Is that Liv?" Ethan asks from the other end of the phone.

"Yes, now get back to work because I'm about to steal your girlfriend," I reply, taking the phone from August's hands.

"Hey, wait–"

I end the call and toss the phone back to her, then I sit up and stare at her for a few seconds.

"What?"

"I need to go through your closet," I state plainly.

She frowns a bit, but then a slow smirk teases her lips. "You're going on a date?" She wiggles her brows. "With Zeke?"

I snort. "No. With Noah."

Her mouth falls open. "Noah? As in 'been asking you out all summer and you keep rejecting him' Noah?"

"Yep." I move from the bed to her closet door. "Pick something before I change my mind."

She stares at me for a long moment, like she wants to say a million things but swallows them all. "Okay," she says finally, standing. "But if you bail halfway through, don't come crying to me."

"Trust me, I wouldn't dare," I mutter.

She hands me a simple black dress, and I slip it on, glaring at myself in the mirror. "This screams funeral."

"Perfect," August chirps. "Let's make sure he doesn't ask you out again."

Noah stays true to his word and he arrives ten minutes to the set time. He has on a simple black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to reveal his slightly muscular arms, and beige slacks.

His hair is combed neatly to the back and I think it's fair to say he looks... charming.

"Hi," he greets with a sheepish grin when I pull the door open.

"You're early," I nod back, taking the bouquet of roses he hands out to me.

"Am I?"

I shake my head. "I'm going to find a vase for these, give me a minute."

"Sure."

I head into the kitchen and pull out a vase from one of the shelves. When I'm about heading back out again, August corners me.

"Why are you doing this again?" She asks, looking to the door like she half expects Noah to barge in and drag me out.

"Because I want to?"

"Bullshit! If you wanted to, you would have before summer ended."

"Well...now I want to," I offer a dry smile and side step her.

Before I head out of the door, I turn around to give her a small wave, to which she responds with an eye roll.

"You're going to regret this," my mind tells me and I nod.

If it keeps me from thinking about Zeke, then it's worth it.

We arrive at the restaurant and find our seats easily. Noah is like a giddy child that just got the toy he's been wishing for all year and I feel bad for using him this way.

He pulls out my chair and he goes on ahead to order, first asking me if the order is fine by me.

The night settles on well and I'm thinking that this might just be a success. Noah is sweet, polite, he talks about his classes, his summer internship, his plans for law school, and he even gives me a chance to speak, one I don't take.

It should be flattering. Normal even. Exactly what I need to erase Zeke from my system.

Except...

"You're a shit person, you know that Liv? A shitty person on a shitty date!" My mind howls.

Yes, this stupid voice in my head has been howling insults at me and Noah since I sat my ass down.

"You're mated, bound to Zeke in sacred rites older than this town itself, and what do you do? You desecrate that bond by letting this...this sad excuse of a man sweet talk you over a fancy plate of pasta? Are you that cheap?"

"Shut up," I try to tell it, but the voice is so loud, it drowns mine.

"Shut up," I try again, but it only gets louder.

"Honestly, you possess all the qualities of someone who would die alone. It's a shame the moon chose you for Zeke. Tell me, would you let this lump of a man fuck you the way Zeke did? Surely, you'd do anything to get rid of–"

"Oh for heaven's sake, will you shut the fuck up?!" I bang the table with a frustrated yell.

The section of the restaurant we are falls silent and all eyes fall on Noah and I. Noah's eyes pop wide open and his cheeks flame red in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, am I...am I talking too much? Do I bore you?"

Oh for Christ sakes!

"I'm sorry, Noah. I wasn't...I didn't mean that."

I turn around me to see that eyes are still on us.

"Please, ignore us," I offer what I hope is a patronizing smile to the onlookers and they hesitantly face their meal, but their voices still carry words about our table.

"If you don't want me to say anything else, I will–"

"Noah, I'm sorry. I wasn't talking to you. I was... remembering something. Please, continue. I believe you were talking about your upcoming appointment in Milan?"

"Yes I..."

He continues speaking, but the voice in my head is back after my outburst.

"You know, I'm disgusted that I have to be bound to you. You're making us cheat on him, which isn't fair, Liv."

"...so what about you?" Noah's voice brings me back to the table.

"What?"

"Any big plans after graduation?" He repeats and I smile.

"Oh, yeah well I haven't really thought about it yet, but one thing for sure is that I'm leaving this town."

"Aren't we all? It's limiting living in a small town," he chuckles. "The world is so much grander than here and there are so much more opportunities out there."

"Yeah, exactly."

"You know what happens to people that break the bond?" My mind continues ranting. "They slowly begin to run mad and until they wither away, and Zeke? He's not like you. If you break the bond with him, there'll always be another to replace you."

My chest tightens and my palms break into a sweat. With shaky hands, I take a sip of water, though it does nothing to calm me.

"Olivia?" Noah leans forward, concerned. "You okay?"

"No. She's not." My mind is screaming, clawing, every insult against him echoing louder than his actual words.

I can't focus. Can't breathe.

"I...uh..." I stand abruptly, nearly knocking my chair over. "I need to go. Sorry."

His face falls and confusion clouds his eyes. "Wait, did I...did I say something wrong?"

"No. It's not you." I cringe the second the words leave my mouth. Cliché much? "I just...I can't do this right now."

I throw some cash on the table and bolt before he can protest, heart pounding, the voice smug in my head.

"Finally, you listened to me," my mind purrs. "Now, let's go find the real one."

I groan, wrapping my hands around myself in a bid to warm up, as I walk to the bus stop.

"What the hell is happening to me?"