"Watch me brave the kitchen once again!"
Saying this, I picked up the phone to film, only to find something furry at my feet.
The camera tilted down. Biscuit was lying by my feet, his eyelids drooping.
"Are you hungry?"
I handed him a sausage. He rested his mouth on it but just continued to lie heavily across my feet, unmoving.
"Good boy, Biscuit. I need to go to the kitchen to see Paigey. Get up."
He didn't move.
"What's wrong? Why are you being so clingy today?"
I stroked his dry, brittle fur.
"I know, Biscuit is getting old too~ Too lazy to move, right?"
"Alright, I'll stay with you a little longer today~"
I leaned back against the sofa. "I won't have the chance to be with you anymore, anyway."
Biscuit let out a low, soft whimper.
…
[Goodbye, World, 2023.4.17, 11:21 AM — Is a home without people still a home?]
When I woke up on the sofa, Paigey was crouching by my feet.
Hearing my voice, she looked up, tears streaming down her face.
"Claire... I've heard that dogs can sense when their owner is about to leave, so they go to the next life ahead of time to wait for them. Is that true?"
I almost dropped the camera.
I frantically reached out to touch Biscuit.
He wasn't breathing.
He had been lying by my feet. While I was too tired and drifted into sleep, he had quietly left me.
I forced a smile, though it looked worse than crying.
"What are you talking about? Biscuit was ten years old. He simply reached the end of his natural life."
When the camera turned back on, I was adding soil to a small mound on the hill behind the house.
My breathing was shallow and rapid, and my face was pale. Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I pointed toward the house.
"Just walk straight this way and you're home. Don't go the wrong way. If you walk toward Adrian..."
I abruptly stopped.
I smiled and pulled my hand back.
"Actually, don't go back there. It'll be empty soon anyway."
"Wait for me to come down, and you, me, Mom, and Dad will start a new home down there."
Sobbing accompanied the shaking camera. I looked up and smilingly pointed behind the lens.
"What are you doing? You can't even hold the camera steady."
Paigey cried even louder.
"Look who's talking! What are you saying?!"
I laughed aloud and waved her over.
"Look at you. Come on, let's go home and eat the food you made~"
"Claire Whitman! If you keep acting like this, I'm going to ignore you!"
I giggled, walked over, and slung my arm around her shoulders.
"Don't worry, your big sis Claire is invincible!"
"A little bit of cancer? Easy peasy!"
"Hahahahahahahahaha!"
…
[Goodbye, World, 2023.4.18, 8:27 AM — Sometimes I forget I'm a sick patient]
"Claire! Claire, open the door!"
Paigey was frantically pounding on the door.
The camera was propped off to the side. Paigey hadn't even had time to adjust the angle, so only her lower half was visible in the frame.
Inside the room, I was screaming and crying hoarsely.
"Get out! I told you to get out! Go away!!"
This was immediately followed by the sound of violent retching.
Paigey was on the verge of tears.
"Claire, if you keep this up, I'm breaking the door down! What exactly happened?! Let me see you!"
"Get out! Leave me alone!"
My heart-wrenching screams pierced through the screen.
Paige Henderson slammed herself against the door, and the old wood gave way with a crash.
Inside the room, I was kneeling beside the trash can. Strands of hair were stuck to my face with vomit. I looked utterly miserable.
There was absolutely no trace of the girl who was laughing and singing just yesterday.
I looked up in despair, my eyes completely bloodshot.
"Paigey..."
"Claire."
She dropped to her knees and, ignoring the filth covering me, pulled me into a tight embrace.
With trembling hands, I hugged her back. Resting my chin on her shoulder, my tears soaked through her shirt.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you...
"But... I always wake up in a daze, thinking I'm still the normal Claire...
"And then I stare at the ceiling for a long time, and realize that I'm sick...
"I'm sick... I'm sick, Paigey..."
I broke down, unable to speak through my sobs.
Paige hugged me even tighter.
"Yeah, it's okay. It's okay, Claire. You can get through this, you can...
"Because you're...
"You're Claire Whitman..."
[Goodbye, World, 2024.4.21, 4:34 PM — Sometimes forgetting is a comfort to the departed]
I was leaning on Paige's shoulder. My sleeves were pushed up. My arms were mottled with old bruises.
My voice was hoarse.
"What should I do, Paigey? If this keeps up, there won't be any place left to put the IV needles. It hurts so much."
"Oh, now you know it hurts? Where was this energy when you stayed up late last night trying to snatch those concert tickets?"
I pouted.
"I have to see my ex-boyfriend's first concert after hitting it big, right? It's been a long time; I want to see if his singing has improved."
Paige fell silent. After a long while, she nudged me.
"You said the reason you broke up with him was that you didn't want to hold him back. If he still has feelings for you now, would you go to him for help?"
"No!" I said without a second of hesitation.
"But a single song of his can break ten million now. He definitely has the ability to help pay for your treatment."
"Still no! And you are not allowed to tell him either!"
"But, you right now..."
I put my hands on my hips. The indwelling IV needle on the back of my hand had left a blue-green mark on my skin.
"I'm doing perfectly fine right now. Besides, I dumped him when he was at his absolute poorest. If I went back to him right after he achieved fame and success just to tell him I'm sick, what would that make me?"
"Don't worry, I am Claire Whitman! A little bit of cancer? Easy peasy!"
I brought my index finger and thumb together, making a 'pinching' gesture.
Paige looked at me for a moment, then sighed.
I waved my hand. "Let's go. Throwing money at this disease won't necessarily cure it anyway. I might as well spend my limited funds enjoying my last days. Hurry up, hurry up, didn't we have plans for the amusement park tonight? Before that, I found this great barbecue place... Ah!"
I crashed headfirst into someone's chest. I was apologizing profusely, but when I looked up and saw the person's face, I instantly stumbled back several steps.
Paige gasped. "Adrian?"
Even though he was wearing a mask and bundled up tightly, lovers can recognize each other from just a pair of eyes.
"Claire?" His handsome eyes carried a hint of shock. Then, it morphed into anger and reproach.
Without a second thought, I turned around and ran.
The camera shook wildly as Paige sprinted after me.
A cancer patient managed to run at a pace faster than when she was healthy.
Behind my violent gasping, someone was screaming my name. "Claire! Do you really hate me that much?!"
…
[Goodbye, World, 2024.4.21, 11:19 PM -- Love always seems to hide in unseen corners]
"Yes, I'll just take one look and leave. Thank you for the trouble."
"Claire, it's not that I have a problem with you. We're from the same village, after all. But you were the one who dumped him, and it took him so much effort to finally move on.
"That junior of yours has also become a top star in the entertainment industry now, and she likes him a lot. The public opinion is strongly backing them together. Please don't..."
I smiled and nodded. "I know, Lana. I won't bother him. I just want to see him for the last... cough, I just want to see him."
"...Alright."
After a brief exchange, I pointed the camera at myself. "I'm at Lana's house now. The person standing behind me is Adrian's manager, by the way.
"Back then, to force him to write songs, she deliberately bought the apartment right across from his. From these floor-to-ceiling windows, you can see right into Adrian's place. The second he slacked off, she would call him, hahaha~
"But he always keeps his curtains drawn, so we probably won't be able to see anything anyway."
As I spoke, I pointed the camera toward Adrian's new apartment.
The camera lens passed through the open curtains and landed on a framed picture hanging on his wall. My smile abruptly vanished.
It was a couple's photo of him and me from the past.
In the photo, we were wearing clothes meant for a wedding, laughing jokingly at the camera.
That day, I had even teased him: "If you ever hit it big one day, you should really marry me."
I never expected that he would actually hang this jokingly-taken wedding photo dead center on his wall.
He was back.
Taking off his mask, he raised his hand and gently touched the photo.
Then, he clenched his hand into a fist and pressed it hard against the frame. He leaned against it as if all his strength had drained away, his head bowed, his shoulders shaking.
Holding the camera, I also pressed my fist against the floor-to-ceiling window, gritting my teeth to suppress my trembling.
I started to laugh: "I suppose he'll never know in this lifetime that I'm actually standing right behind him."
[Goodbye, World, 2024.5.21, 10:01 PM -- The hardest words to say in this lifetime turn out to be 'I love you']
At the concert venue, glow sticks waved frantically.
Paige held the camera, but she wasn't filming Adrian Cole. Instead, she pointed it at me, who was waving a glow stick like crazy:
"My lady, slow down, don't shake your wig off!"
I pulled my mask down a bit: "It's fine, I checked it multiple times before coming. Besides, doesn't my makeup look pretty good today? You can't tell I'm a patient at all, right?"
Paige laughed, choking up slightly: "Your makeup skills haven't improved at all."
"Tch, you just don't know how to appreciate it~"
I turned my head to avoid the camera. The next second, Adrian's singing voice came through the footage:
"Mornings with you make the world vast, you appeared in my world, and love suddenly had color."
I clapped my hands at Paige: "Incredible vocal transition! He sings so much better than before, not just by a little! That's my boy!"
The fans' screams were endless:
"He wrote it so well! Mia Sloane is Adrian's salvation!"
"Adrian was right to break up! Since splitting with Claire Whitman, his songs have only gotten better! He should have dumped Claire ages ago!"
"What do you mean by that?" Paige turned around.
I immediately grabbed her, but it was too late.
She pushed me away: "What's wrong with Claire Whitman?"
That fan and her companions looked over: "Claire Whitman? Just a useless burden who dragged him down, turning her back the second she saw our guy had no money. Wait, you're not going to speak up for that bitch, are you?"
"Who are you calling a bitch?!" Paige dropped the phone. I hurriedly hugged her as she tried to charge forward, smiling at them through my mask:
"Sorry about that, so sorry, my friend is a bit worked up."
The fan shot me a disdainful look: "At least one of you has some sense. He's already written a song for the one he loves; please tell that girl surnamed Whitman to stay far away."
Just as her voice fell, the concert cameras landed on the woman in the VIP seats.
Mia Sloane sat gracefully in an elegant gown, her aura standing out amongst the crowd of fans.
Screams instantly erupted across the venue: "Sister-in-law!!"
Adrian stood on stage and nodded at her.
The atmosphere immediately grew even more fervent: "They are definitely dating! Absolutely! My ship is real!"
The camera focused back on my face. Paige's voice sounded tentative: "Claire..."
I snapped out of it and smiled: "Ah? Oh, they really are a perfect match, don't you think?"
"Claire, if you have something to say, just say it. I don't believe you've really let him go."
I stayed silent for a moment, then smiled at the camera: "I'm about to leave this world anyway. Even if I can't let go, I have to."
The next second, a bright light flashed across my eyes.
My heart skipped a beat -- did the camera catch me?
Down in the venue, Adrian seemed to notice something. His hand holding the microphone paused. He looked toward the giant screen.
Where the spotlight was shining, that seat was already empty.
[Goodbye, World, 2024.5.21, 11:10 PM -- Some words can only be left for the next life]
I leaned against the wall, gasping uncontrollably for air.
Paige supported me with one hand while holding the camera with the other: "My lady, you're a patient, why did you run so fast?"
I adjusted my wig while looking into the lens: "If I didn't run, he would have seen me looking like this. His fans would definitely curse me out. He worked so hard for so long to finally hold such a massive concert; would it be right for me to ruin it for him?"
"Claire." A deep voice came from behind.
My hand, which was combing through my hair, froze. I immediately pulled my mask up.
The next second, it was forcefully ripped off.
My eyes widened as I found myself face-to-face with Adrian.