My husband, Lucas Powell, chose our anniversary for his sixtieth suicide attempt. He thought he had succeeded when he jumped into the sea. Unfortunately for him, the next day he opened his eyes, his gaze met my cold face.
“You made me miss Veronica’s airport pickup by forcing me to celebrate our seventh anniversary. How could you be so cruel!” he shouted angrily.
To Lucas, I was always the cruel one. Every time something small happened with Veronica Rutherford, he tried to kill himself. This time, it was because Veronica finally came back to the UK and we were still at sea.
Since my husband missed meeting her, Veronica ignored him and he jumped off the yacht we were on. I had already slipped his suicide note into the box. Sixty times. I took out a divorce paper I had prepared long ago.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“What are you up to? Are you pretending to play hard to get?”
Lucas then threw the agreement in my face. I just kept my eyes down and said nothing.
He then continued, “You’ve been clinging to me all these years. I have always loved Veronica. Now she ignores me. You want to leave me? No way!”
Years ago, Lucas had rescued my father in the mountains. Before my father died, he told me to marry Lucas to repay that kindness.
I touched the baby in my belly. I had almost repaid his kindness already. Within a month, I planned to leave him after the baby was born. I would take my baby away from the man who did not love us.
***
The day Veronica returned to the UK, Lucas was on the yacht with me when he got the call. He looked anxious. I was nine months pregnant and stared at the dark clouds on the horizon.
It was typhoon season. If we tried to get back to shore now, the storm could sweep us away. Still, he went into the bridge and insisted we return.
“Isn’t it just our seventh anniversary? Can't we celebrate another day?” he asked.
“Just wait a few days. I want time with Veronica and some time with you. You don’t need to be touched.”
Lucas wanted to turn back. The friends and family on the yacht looked at me as if I were unreasonable. I stood in front of the cockpit trying to stop Lucas from driving.
Suddenly, the wind picked up and the yacht began to drift with the waves. I could not trust this man with my life or the baby’s life. Dark clouds rolled in and a storm formed.
He frantically pulled out his phone and dialed, but the other person would not answer. Angrily, he slammed his fist against the cockpit door.
“You cruel woman! If it weren’t for you, I would have called Veronica ages ago!” he yelled.
“Veronica is ignoring me. What’s the point of living?”
Then he rushed off the yacht and jumped into the sea. This was his sixtieth attempt.
I stared at the waves. For years Lucas had tried to kill himself over small things with Veronica. A missed reply, an ignored message.
Today, in front of everyone, he made me look selfish. People rushed to the railing and stared, then began to blame me.
“Isn’t it just picking up a woman? Did she really have to drive him to suicide?”
“I must have wronged him in some way!”
“Is she acting powerful because she’s pregnant?”
I watched the churning sea without panic. When Lucas surfaced, I threw the life ring and pulled him out.
The next day I was met with scolding. At every prenatal visit, Lucas claimed to be busy with work. But I knew he was always contacting Veronica. I rubbed my belly and decided I would divorce him.
“Cruel woman! Don’t even think about getting away!” he shouted.
Then, his phone lit up. With sudden joy he opened it and said, “Veronica, you finally answered. I love you so much.”
That sweet, clingy voice was something he never used with me. I did not care how long the call lasted. I was already in bed, so I needed rest for the baby’s sake.
The next day, I went to the clinic alone. The doctor said the baby was not well and asked me to call my husband so they could decide on a treatment plan together. I hesitated, then called Lucas.
When the call connected, I heard him say, “All these years, you were always the only one in my heart. I will open my heart to you.”
His tone sounded sincere. My blood froze. Then a young woman’s proud voice came through, “Kneel down and beg me.”
“Please. After all these years of waiting, be with me. I don’t want a man like you. Men and toothbrushes can’t be shared.”
I heard it clearly over the phone. Lucas was on his knees, banging his head. I felt a cold wave wash over me. He I thought was arrogant and strong was groveling to another woman.
“Veronica, baby, if you want, I will go dump that woman right away!” he begged.
I held my phone tight and touched my belly, feeling smaller and lonelier than ever.
Every word I heard stabbed straight into my heart. I hung up the phone and calmly told the doctor that I would be the one making all decisions for the baby. As far as I was concerned, this baby had no father.
By the time Lucas arrived at the ward, I had already followed the doctor’s treatment plan.
“You didn’t tell me you were in the hospital,” he said, his voice showing a rare trace of concern.
But I could still hear the sound of his teeth grinding from that phone call. His tone now was like a different person.
I spoke plainly, “I heard everything you and Veronica said.”
I hadn’t even tried to eavesdrop. I just listened. Wouldn’t it have been rude not to?
Since the beginning of our marriage, Lucas had never really cut ties with Veronica. Whether it was from small things like daily greetings to bigger things like secretly sending her money.
Whenever he thought I was being fussy about my monthly prenatal checkups, he would rush to remind Veronica to get hers on time. I wasn’t stupid.
Lucas tried to act calm as he asked me, “Love, what are you talking about?”
“Please, stay with me,” I repeated his words from the phone in a mocking tone.
“Are you coming back just to leave me alone?”
“Don’t bother. I’ll leave on my own.”
I stared at him with a sarcastic smile.
“I said I don’t agree,” Lucas replied, his face slightly stiff.
“You’re carrying our child. I won’t let you go.”
I ignored him, telling him, “Get out or I’ll call security!”
Lucas tried to open his mouth, but he eventually stormed out angrily. The medication made me sleepy. When I woke again, I thought I heard Lucas’s voice outside the room.
“I’ll calm Yvette down first. After the little thing in her belly is born, I’ll take it and use it for our baby,” he said.
Veronica sobbed, saying, “Actually, my baby is your biological child.”
In a whisper, she said, “Two years ago, you came abroad to see me. You drank too much and then …”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve made you suffer all these years,” Lucas said, his voice full of pain.
Two years ago, Lucas had suddenly gone abroad on a business trip. I had carefully packed his suitcase and left a loving note inside. But now I felt like the villain standing between them. Quietly, I turned on the recorder on my phone.
“Our baby was born with kidney failure. It started soon after birth. No hospital has a donor kidney for someone so young,” Veronica said as she sobbed.
“Our child is dying,” she continued while she cried uncontrollably.
Lucas hurried to hold her and kissed her, saying, “Now we have a solution. I’ll find the best surgeon. We’ll use what’s in Yvette’s belly to save our child.”
Veronica nodded as Lucas hugged her tighter with his face full of excitement. These two shameless people were openly plotting against me. Were they stupid, or did they think I was?
My thoughts were a mess. For years I had only believed Lucas didn’t love me. I had never imagined he was this vile. Lucas, when I push you into the abyss, don’t you dare cry and beg me.
“Do you know why Yvette is pregnant?”
“I’ve been secretly checking on you. The moment I learned the baby’s kidneys were failing, I decided to give Yvette a little something to keep her alive,” he said.
My heart felt like it was tearing apart. A shiver ran through my whole body. I remembered his madness that night, how he had taken me again and again. But now the memory only made me sick.
The baby in my belly seemed to sense my sadness, so the baby kicked my belly hard. It snapped me out of my numbness. I stroked my belly over and over, trying to calm the baby.
‘My baby, Mommy will fight hard to protect you in this last month we have together.’
A week later, I was finally released from the hospital and went back home.
Lucas had hired a nanny and a professional postpartum caregiver. They were someone who supposedly specialized in looking after pregnant women and new mothers. But when I saw the caregiver, it turned out to be none other than Veronica.
I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. Veronica wasn’t here to help me, but she was here to monitor me. Clearly, she was afraid that I had run away with the baby.
Lucas even emptied out our master bedroom and gave it to Veronica.
“Pregnant women should stay in smaller rooms. It’s cozier and safer for both mother and child,” he said.
Then, he added smoothly, “The caregiver will need the big room to store all the baby items.”
I bit back the anger that was burning inside me and walked toward the narrow stairwell. Supporting my back, I lay on my side and let my tears fall silently. I had been foolish enough to believe our marriage still meant something.
That night, the baby reminded me it was time to eat. I got up slowly, pushed the door open and froze. On the second-floor landing, Lucas and Veronica were kissing, completely lost in each other.
Their voices echoed through the huge, quiet house. When they finally stopped, Veronica nipped playfully at his lip. Their shamelessness made me feel embarrassed for them.
I cleared my throat softly.
Lucas immediately pushed her away and said, “Go make a healthy dinner for the lady of the house.”
Veronica frowned, asking, “Why would I know how to cook?”
Lucas chuckled and tried to please her as he responded, “Just something simple, darling.”
After that, my husband quickly left as he claimed that had an urgent company meeting.
I sat down at the dining table, waiting for the so-called “nutritious meal” that Veronica was preparing. Five minutes later, she slammed a cup of instant noodles in front of me. The boiling water splashed on my hand, but I stayed quiet.
“Eat up, Ma’am. You’re pregnant, but I still have to wait on you?” she asked as she sneered, dropping her fake sweetness.
“Be grateful I gave you abalone-flavored noodles,” she added while rummaging in the fridge.
My heart ached, but I ate in silence. Meanwhile, Veronica feasted on my Greek yogurt salad bowl and Kobe beef steak that were meant for me. I gently rubbed my belly to calm the uneasy baby and secretly recorded everything with my phone.
After dinner, she ordered me to clean up. I washed her dishes, threw away the scraps and returned to my little corner by the stairs. My stomach felt heavier than ever, ao I could barely keep myself upright.
Once I confirmed that my phone had saved the recording, I finally allowed myself to close my eyes and rest.
Sometime past midnight, I woke to the sound of shouting downstairs.
“I told you I wanted imported macarons delivered within an hour! These taste like spoiled cream!”
“Only a dog would eat this garbage!” Veronica shouted angrily.
“Alright, alright, my lady. I’m sorry. Please go rest,” Lucas said, escorting her upstairs like a servant.
A few minutes later, there was a soft knock on my door.
“I brought you a macaron from your favorite brand,” Lucas said gently.
The stairwell was so small that I only had to sit up to open the door. I looked down at the half-eaten macaron in my hand and felt nothing at all. It was clearly Veronica’s leftover, which was something she didn’t want.
Holding it up, I asked lightly as I pretended to wonder, “Honey, what’s this? Did the bakery have a rat problem?”
Lucas’s face went grim in an instant.
“There’s no rat, you pregnant women are just too paranoid!” he shouted impatiently.
The fact that he hid it broke my heart.
