Beatrice Costello

And now every piece of me took a toll on maintaining itself, I breathed as deeply as I could, leaning against the wall, took the cell phone off the shelf, turning off the sound and opening the door. The darkness embraced like an old friend, climbing each step I expected to feel any remorse and all I felt was a huge nothing.

Walking through the dark house, groping along the walls for some support for my tired legs, I managed to reach the bedroom, and as in a silent prayer I connected the cell phone to the sound system, threw the device on the bed without caring about the number of missed calls or messages.

I sighed, losing myself from reality feeling the taste of blood filling my mouth after cutting my lips biting.

I could have lost my sanity and still, it didn't matter.

His blood being spilled and running down the corners, the fire in his blue eyes being consumed, and the ashes that rose in the sweltering place.

It's that whisper in my mind that brings the first smile to my lips after the chaos, and that little feeling I'll never let go of. Even at the cost of innocent blood. Facing the mirror inside the bathroom, I realized that the sound had already been turned off because maybe the cell phone had finally discharged, in the reflection someone different from what I was used to seeing, with a livid head, I entered the box leaving the water running down the body cleaning the dirt clinging to my skin, because what clings to my soul cannot be cleaned.

I felt it was enough and left the box wrapping my body in a towel, I walked out of the bathroom holding the bag in which I put all the evidence that could indicate my crime and staining the whole house with blood, I left the bag next to the door entry so you don't forget to take out the trash even without knowing if it's collection day or what day it is.

I walked to the kitchen counter where I used to leave the charger and plugged it in feeling a small shock in my hand and a small red ball instantly appear on the tip of my finger.

The pain didn't bother her anymore, maybe she was the only true companion in all these years. I moved a little to the left opening the fridge door and getting out the orange juice, milk and two eggs. I prepared the frying pan and cracked the eggs, taking a kettle to pass a strained coffee and putting it on the fire, I took a glass and filled it with juice, watching the eggs crack inside the frying pan as the crack of bones breaking filled my mind and ears .

The kettle whistled and the smell of the eggs began to burn, I turned off the heat and placed the eggs on a flat plate, brewed the coffee as calmly and precisely as the art that is. Grabbing my biggest cup I filled it with coffee and covered it with milk until it splattered out as I lifted it off the counter, I took a sip feeling my stomach grateful for the food that had been stolen from it. I looked down at the glass still full of juice, spilling its contents across the kitchen mixing with the drippings of blood from every open wound.

The sound of a car outside didn't surprise me, and when one of the few people with a key to my house entered, the silence fell and the air that came through the door cooled the house.

His eyes searched the house looking for something that would never be there again, understanding seemed to hit his thoughts, watching my small breakfast. His proximity in slow steps was not surprising, but his silence for the first time in his life bothered him.

Eyes as dark as mine, straight hair and neatly trimmed beard set against pale skin, for the first time in my life I understood the darkness in my brother's eyes.

Maybe the worst monsters aren't the ones we create, maybe the worst monsters are just ourselves.

Pulling the drumstick sitting in front of me in deafening silence, I took a deep breath and returned the cup of coffee, I didn't bother with the open entrance door the footsteps of those entering were filling the small room between a sofa and the kitchen.

Stefano made a point of saying that she didn't deserve a big house, that her body would be deformed if she got pregnant, the small house that I learned to hate because it was a prison, the walls a ridiculous color of green, without having the slightest option of redecorating or any shit.

I lifted my head and watched quietly, feeling an incredible calm inside me.

Each look was loaded with a question that I couldn't answer until the hunger was over, and the worst of all, is that this hunger didn't stop the desire to rewind each moment like a movie feeling each sensation. dark eyes, I gave a small smile sensing the monster's desire to boast.

Face to face with my brother without any disappointment about the fate of the man who was my husband, he understood all the lines in the look, words were unnecessary and the sigh when he held my hand was his way of asking 'are you okay?' the rise of my smile joining his equal mine, couldn't give another answer.

Beatrice Costello

My brothers were there for me, the first to speak was always Hunter

"Need help with the cleanup?" - His look is careful, concerned.

The green eyes analyzing every exposed part of me made anger fill the chiseled face with square jaw and full mouth.

The decision I made will affect all of us in one way or another, and this is your way of showing your support.

“Just the garbage bag by the door.

He turned and walked to the door taking the bag out of the house, we all silently watched the movement back and forth. Until he was standing next to the workbench again as if waiting for an order or a request.

"Okay, what's the plan?" - Jack turned sideways sitting on the sofa now with his body turned towards us asking what was going through everyone's mind.

The dark hair in contrast to our blond ones, the well-shaped face, with full lips and perfect teeth, the slightly crooked nose and the usual sarcastic expression.

"We need a story," Hunter replied without taking his eyes off mine.

— We faked their deaths – Giacomo said and for the first time I looked at everyone there realizing that Bianca was missing.

- Why she did it? – I whispered without really wanting confirmation of my thoughts.

"Apparently Stefano wasn't the only one to disrespect an Italian wife," Jack roared. “I had to talk to her so that she could share her death with us, and I found her tied up like an animal in that apartment.

The tension in each of the three's bodies revealed more than words, yet I felt the need to confirm.

"What did you do Jack?" - I asked scared afraid that the plan was for the sewer.

"What could a brother do, seeing his own blood like that?" – He snorted – When Salvatore Riina arrived I spent a few hours having fun with him.

- You idiot, the soldiers could have seen you entering the building - The fear of losing my brother took over me.

Hunter laughed and waved me down, as if it was obvious he wasn't going to let Jack have all the fun for himself.

— I helped the idiot to forge the scene, in the end it will look like it was a coordinated attack so we need to act fast, in a few hours our phones started ringing informing us of Riina's death and Don will order to clean up the city looking for the traitor – He stopped with a sigh.

— We need to be home right now – Giacomo decrees — Don Sartori will probably notify me of Bianca's death personally, as a way of showing his appreciation.

Giacomo is one of Sartori's most trusted men, and he deserves the post. Always hardworking, loyal, being the executor of his Don, never disobeying a single order. The guilt for putting them in a position of betrayal hit my traitorous heart, they are the only family I have and among all possibilities, among all shit to know that we really are a true family, which my brothers never hesitated to follow a dazzling plan to free me and now free Bianca, only made my love and admiration grow.

That loyalty is ours alone, and I doubt anyone else within the Mafia is as loyal as we are to each other.

"I'm causing you to lose the honor of your names." I sighed, knowing this must be like torture for honorable men.

“Don't think about it Beatrice, defending my blood is the only honor I need. Your husband and Bianca's husband should honor them, I won't forgive myself for taking them to the altar and handing them over to these disgraced ones. - Giacomo spoke with a tone of regret.

— Besides, the family rule is clear, wives should not be treated that way and Don Sartori certainly knew about the actions of Riina and Stefano, his son and his nephew, the two trained by himself. Jack snorted.

— The rules are for everyone, we're just going to put the house in order, Cosa Nostra is only going to undergo a little cleaning – Hunter smiled darkly and there I understood.

They've been there for me through it all, through all our flaws and over every stupid sibling fight, which for some reason I was sure one of them would end up doing this, killing Stefano Sartori for me.

But she didn't need to be protected, not anymore.

— For all intents and purposes, Bianca died at dawn in an attack, along with her husband Salvatore Riina – Giacomo continued — The poison that Hunter obtained has a twenty-four-hour effect, it will feel like a cold body and that's the time we need to do it. the closed casket funeral.

— Enrico should show up here at any moment to announce Bianca's death, the hypothesis of a betrayal will be confirmed when his body is found and not Stefano since only we capos know the addresses of each member – Jack breathed — We need to kill the soldiers who are in security.

The door slammed and in the middle of the warm conversation, surprising us with the unexpected visitor, the soldier's short hair and always well-composed suit.

— No need, I've already done that - Frank's voice cut the silence, Hunter already had the gun pointed in his direction.

“Why would you do that? – Giacomo questioned the Sartori family soldier.

"Your sister knows why." He stared at me with green eyes.

I discovered his secret a few years ago, the first few days he seemed to expect me to tell Stefano until one of the few times we were alone in the car, I assured him that no one would know.

Apparently, that's his way of retribution.

— Beatrice has my loyalty, if you want to kill me, do it now, but know that you would be a good ally.

I considered the possibilities, I need help, protection and none of my brothers can do that, they won't be able to be available all the time, I don't have the slightest idea of what life is like outside this house or outside the mafia.

They need to show that they are looking for the sisters' killers.

“Hunter has enough poison for Frank too” My brother looked in my direction in exasperation “Frank will come with me.

"Do you trust him?" Jack looked suspicious.

— Yes, and he has no reason to stay, if Don Sartori finds him alive with the disappearance of his son he dies, if he betrays me I'll make sure his secret is discovered, that would lead to his death too – My brothers looked at each other for a few seconds , Hunter lowered the gun.

Frank watched, knowing my every word was a silent threat, just because I was pious once doesn't mean it would be a second, especially given the new life I intend to lead. I give you this chance as a vote of confidence for going to warn Giacomo of my captivity, something I've never had the courage to do in all these years.

I analyzed the whole scene set up by the house with the blood smeared on the hideous green carpet, I stretch out my hand making sure to leave the dirty fingerprints against the wallpaper remembering the nights next to the man I swore to love.

I sigh, turning my face away and finding my brother's fury just the incentive to finally make my voice heard. It's incredible how arrogance blinds men to the point of not realizing that a woman never loses her power, a woman doesn't lose the war, and when she wants to, she's capable of destroying everything.

That was Stefano's biggest mistake, not causing my death when he had the opportunity, having armed himself with arrogance and all the machismo, always putting me below himself, imagining my inability to reciprocate that perverse love, karma is a bitch treacherous and this turnaround was only possible thanks to his exacerbated egocentrism thinking he was indestructible. And my biggest mistake was thinking I was capable of love, I'm not, and I missed any opportunity to give birth to some feeling in here.

Beatrice Costello

I can't understand the motives of the faces concerned with how to follow the plan even though I know that declared war at the moment is impossible, the way their eyes analyze my every move is irritating.

Who spread around that women are fragile?

I shake my head, trying to clear the blind irritation that builds in my chest at continuing to be judged by men, when their only use in the world is to be born and raised by the care of women. I am aware of every possible flaw within that plan but right now taking down every deal made is more useful in raising resources than confronting Don.

—The Don won't believe this Beatrice – Giacomo decides to pronounce after his long minutes analyzing my steps — We can get a few months, but at some point Sartori will put two and two together, especially when he only finds Stefano's bones.

It's a valid point, I know that but I can't move the pieces without their support and if you have to appeal to an emotion that no longer exists I don't see any problem.

“I know, I just can't live here, can't stay here anymore. - I say, intoning my voice with desperation.

The best lies are always based on the truth, I don't deny for a single moment the fear of losing the opportunity for revenge and the fear of taking the risk of losing them, my family. My legs shake just thinking about that possibility.

- Giacomo will make our revenge prosper, the name of the Sartori will be erased - I observed Jack's confidence in wanting to avenge our family.

His support being a crucial point in moving Giacomo a little more towards the board rather than feeding his lust for carnage.

“I'll give my life so they can pay, sister. – Giacomo replied hitting the hammer on our destinies he is the only one who can act secretly on both sides, I felt confident with the affirmation in his voice.

The Italian mafia wouldn't accept a woman in charge, even though the bastards deserve to be chained to wooden logs and whipped on their white asses by women to realize how much they're just men, but right now all I want is to be free for the first time in life.

Being able to breathe the air contaminated by their spilled blood and not by my pain reverberating on the walls of this house.

"If you don't make their security work, I'll make sure your body becomes food for the fish myself," Hunter snarled at the soldier, his hands going into his pockets and pulling out a small bottle. “Jack go get another syringe from the car.

Jack left obeying the order, while Hunter my brother took a syringe from his dress pants and filled it with half the liquid in the vial. I analyzed every part of the place, seeing the disposition of the food that I barely touched while still on top of the counter.

"Giacomo, spill that food across the room, make it look like you tried to defend me." He waved, getting up and walking around the counter.

That way the scenario is perfect, the food being thrown and the plate being broken giving the appearance of having been dragged through the small space between the kitchen and the hallway to the bedrooms.

I walked, standing at the exact spot where most of the blood had pooled on the rug when the kicks were too intense for the body to withstand, at that exact moment when Stefano killed the last spark of hope left, Frank is still standing in the middle of the room, I organized my thoughts, taking a deep breath, ready to order, let out the phallus.

“Frank, I need you to punch me.” The man's gaze widens at the same time my brothers stiffen in place, Jack closing the front door with a glare.

I decide to rush the explanation to appease the testosterone radiating the place, it's not like one of the three is able to raise a hand against the little sister so the duty falls to the team's rookie.

“I need my face marked to look real since I'm all bloody and you need to have some mark that shows an attempt at protection.

Hunter arched an eyebrow, Giacomo chuckled, and Jack continued to stare as if seeing a stranger.

"Who are you and what have you done to my sister?"

It's like Jackson is really seeing me for the first time after so many years of being tied down to this marriage sucking every last bit out of my soul. Being half a man in love but not enough, he would never be able to love me enough despite having my heart in his hands, I sigh keeping a straight face.

- I present to you the monster forged and created by the Devil himself - I opened a smile in the corner.

They finally seem to understand that what Stefano had done to me in recent years was not something so banal, the dedicated, happy and obedient wife at family parties was just a facade. Their gazes meet in silent exchanges that I recognize, even after so long away from each other, not physically, but we were separated by mafia laws, yet, I recognize what is happening in each look.

The empty shell molded to support her needs, the trophy of her conquests to be displayed in public, the marks across my body not visible so no one would suspect that one of the mafia princesses was treated like the poor bastards trafficked into the clubs of the family.

When I looked into the abyss, I fell madly and deeply in love with the executioner of my prison, the executioner of my soul will always be my love and the taste of retribution is still sweet on my lips.

And for the first time in my life the scars will help something, with my bloodstained body the bruises still evident through my white skin will do all the work of looking like an attack, Stefano Sartori's beautiful wife cruelly bruised to the point of not resisting . Too young, without heirs, a regrettable loss for the organization. I wake up from these thoughts with the authoritative voice calling my attention.

"Beatrice, I need you to pay attention!" – Hunter approached with the syringe — This poison will make you pass for dead in the next 24 hours, Bianca has already been like this, for about 5 hours. We need to speed this up, we're going to exchange the bodies for any indigent and we're going to demand the closed casket, you'll wake up at the security location.

— Let's see some things that help you to disguise yourself, New York will only be safe again when we take power, even so, no one can suspect that. Nobody can suspect that you and Bianca are the brains of our family. - Giacomo drew a smile from me with his statement.

Jack is good on the streets, Hunter is good at closing deals legal or illegal, and Giacomo has always been the brute force.

Frank snapped out of his inert state, as if he'd finally made the final decision.

— Sorry – The man seems sad to have to comply with the order.

The punch came heavy and hard, my face turned to the right with the impact and I felt my vision blurring, nothing worse than what I had received before. I felt the hands holding me and the sting came soon after, being laid with my head turned to the side on the floor in a few moments still conscious noticing its movements around the house, feeling the burning rising causing a slow numbness of the senses listening to Jack complain about the punch and perhaps he took the opportunity to take the adrenaline out on the poor soldier.

Naked with all the marks exposed by the body, the recent open scars and only a robe covering the nudity.

Darkness has finally kissed my senses like an old friend, isn't it scary especially when you love the darkness of your soul.

My only fear at the moment is that everything could go wrong and my brothers could end up dying because I'm too selfish to keep waiting for Stefano's love to reach its peak to kill me.