I sank to the floor after Ryder rushed out. I stared at the date on the pregnancy test results and replayed that night in my mind.

Five weeks ago, he said he had border duty and might not be back until morning. I packed him a hot meal and told him to be careful.

I waited on the couch until 3:00 am. Only when his text came—"Arrived. All safe."—did I finally fall asleep.

He was with Isabelle that night at the infirmary for the artificial insemination. I'd been shut out from the start.

…

My phone rang. It was Lucas Pearce, my healer.

His voice was thick with concern. "Lyra, your latest test results don't look good. The toxin is spreading faster than we expected."

"I know."

I looked at the sunlight beyond the window. It felt a world away.

I could feel Silverblood slowly spreading through my veins every morning when I woke. Sometimes the pain jolted me awake at night, but I never let Ryder see it.

The truth was, I wished he'd notice me and care for me, even a little. My medical report was sitting right there on the dresser in our room, but he'd never even opened it.

He seemed far more concerned with another she-wolf's pregnancy.

Lucas was a good healer and one of the few friends I had left.

He said, "About that new experimental treatment—"

"It's no use, Lucas." I cut him off. My voice was steady. "Silverblood can't be cured. You told me that. Those experimental treatments would only prolong the pain."

There was silence on the line.

When he spoke again, his voice was gentle. "Would you… be willing to get out for a bit? Let Ryder take you somewhere to rest. A change of scenery might do you good."

"You mean a trip?"

"Yes. Haven't you always said you wanted to see the ocean? There's a quiet little town on the coast that's quite restful."

Then, I remembered. It was where Ryder and I had planned to spend our honeymoon.

There were deep-blue waters, an old stone church, and cobbled paths lined with flowers. We'd gone through the photos together, plotting the trips we'd take after the bonding ceremony.

All these years, I'd poured myself into Ryder's pack affairs and had never really seen the world. Now, with the ceremony off, I'd go to that town alone.

"I'll go on my own. When can I leave?" I asked.

"Whenever you're ready," Lucas said.

I checked the calendar on the wall. The date for the bonding ceremony was circled in red, 15 days out.

"In 15 days, then. I'll leave on the day of the ceremony."

"Lyra—"

"I've made up my mind, Lucas." I cut him off. "Ryder never truly valued our bond. The ceremony means nothing. I'm canceling it."

I hung up and stood before the mirror.

A pale she-wolf looked back. She was hollow-eyed. Silverblood was eating away at me, bit by bit. Ryder didn't even know I was dying. He didn't need to know. Not anymore.

I pulled out my suitcase and began to pack. There would be no more waiting, no more begging, no more scraping by under his cold indifference. I was leaving.

I would live for myself in the time I had left.

…

At dusk, I sat in the living room, waiting for Ryder to get back. He finally came in at 2:00 am, reeking of Isabelle's perfume.

He frowned as if my presence annoyed him. "You're still up?"

"I was waiting for you."

He shed his coat, saying offhand, "Isabelle's pregnancy symptoms were bad. I took her to the healer. This is going to happen a lot from now on. Get used to it."

I was supposed to get used to it?

I stood. "I understand. Ryder, there's something I need to tell you."

He checked his watch. "Tell me tomorrow. I'm tired."

"The ceremony—"

He cut me off. "Don't worry about the ceremony. I'll arrange everything. Just show up on time."

I watched his tired profile and thought of the date on the pregnancy test results.

Everything had been decided long ago. My voice had never mattered. I lingered in the wings of his life like a prop, quietly waiting for the moment I would be replaced.

"Fine. I understand," I said.

Ryder went upstairs without so much as a backward glance.

Alone in the living room, I stared at the date circled in red on the calendar. Every tie between Ryder and me would be severed for good in 15 days.

We'd never see each other again after that.

"What on earth is going on?"

"Why did Alpha Ryder visit Isabelle's family and even officially announce that she's pregnant?"

"But Alpha Ryder and Healer Lyra are supposed to have their bonding ceremony any day now."

The chatter outside my office gnawed at my nerves.

My phone buzzed. A coworker had sent a photo.

Ryder's hand rested gently on Isabelle's belly. His gaze was steady and protective. Around them stood the Morrison elders. Their faces were alight with joy.

A message from the coworker popped up in a tone laced with sympathy. "Why is Isabelle pregnant? They look like true mates. Are you okay, Lyra?"

I stared at the photo. Ryder had never looked at me that way. Five years in, he still hadn't formally introduced me to the Blackwood elders.

Whenever I brought up the subject, he'd say, "Your family still needs time to prove itself."

I saw it now for what it was—an excuse.

"I'm fine," I typed back, then tossed my phone aside.

Silverblood burned hotter in my veins, searing every nerve. Pain raked through me. I knew my time was running out. My life was ticking by with every second.

…

The next afternoon, I met a few friends at a cafe. I'd planned to invite them to my bonding ceremony. Instead, all I could do was tell them it was canceled. Their eyes went wide.

One of them blurted, "What? The ceremony's canceled? Why? You were so excited about your bonding ceremony with Ryder. Did you two have a falling out?"

The others crowded closer, and their faces were full of shock and confusion.

I stirred my coffee. "Ryder has more pressing matters to attend to. He has to have a pup with Isabelle. Even if it's through artificial insemination, I can't bring myself to accept it."

My friend frowned. "Isabelle? The she-wolf who says she saved him? But Lyra, you're his mate."

I managed a bitter smile. "So what if we're the Moon Goddess' chosen mates? In Ryder's eyes, the pack will always come before personal feelings."

My mind went back to the rainy night I first met Ryder. Rogues were on my heels, and he'd pulled me back from the brink of death.

From then on, I was deeply in love with this powerful, aloof Alpha.

For five years, I believed our love was unshakable. Only when Isabelle appeared did I realize how fragile my place in his heart was. I couldn't tell anymore whether what I felt for Ryder was gratitude or love.

One of my friends closed a hand over mine. "Lyra… this isn't fair."

I drew my hand back. "Fairness has nothing to do with it. I've stopped caring. Sorry, I'm tired. I'm heading home."

…

It was past 11:00 pm when I dragged myself home. I pushed the door open to find Ryder in the living room, still wearing the dust of the road.

His brows knitted the instant he saw me. His nostrils twitched. He stepped back, disgust turning his voice rough. "You smell of other wolves. Stay back."

I stopped cold. This was my home, and my mate was recoiling because my friends' scent was on me.

"You're worried it'll affect Isabelle?" I asked.

Ryder sounded as if it were only natural. "She's sensitive right now. She can't be exposed to anything that might harm the pup. From now on, tell me before you go out, and shower as soon as you get back."

I took in the angles of his cold profile, and the last warmth in me went out. I'd already become a potential threat in his eyes.

"Understood," I said, turning for the stairs.

"Wait," Ryder called after me. "I need you to do something."

I stopped with my back to him and waited. What would he want me to give up this time for the so-called greater good?

"Call off tomorrow's pre-ceremony photo shoot," Ryder said. His voice echoed through the living room.

I turned to him, keeping my face blank.

I nodded. "Fine. I'll let the photographer know."

He clearly hadn't expected me to agree so readily. He hesitated, as if whatever speech he'd prepped suddenly had nowhere to go.

"Aren't you going to ask why?"

I kept my voice even. "It doesn't matter. You're the one who makes the calls anyway, aren't you?"

Silverblood was making me weaker by the day. I didn't have it in me to argue anymore. I was dying anyway, so what did it matter if we did the photo shoot or not?

Ryder frowned and went on. "I'm not calling the whole thing off. I'm saying… someone else will take your place."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Ryder's tone softened. "Isabelle has always wished she could be photographed in a bonding-ceremony gown. I want her to take your place in the shoot. Think of it as granting her that dream."

I looked at him in disbelief. My mate wanted another she-wolf in my gown, in our photos, and in my place.

"Won't that put a strain on her pregnancy?" I asked.

Ryder watched me with expectation in his eyes. "The photographer will be careful. Besides, it'll brighten her mood. I'll make it up to you later with a shoot that's better than this one."

Later? There was no later for me.

I nodded again. "Alright. I'll send the gown over."

Ryder went still again. He'd expected a fight, tears, or for me to make a scene. That was how I used to beg him to change his mind. Instead, I just let it stand.

…

The next morning, Ryder rushed through breakfast and made for the door.

While adjusting his tie, he said, "After the photo shoot, I'm taking Isabelle to Holy Moon Spring for purification and blessing to keep the pregnancy safe. I'll be gone for about three days.

"So you'll handle the ceremony arrangements. Just keep it simple.”

He'd told me not to worry about it. But now he dismissed the day we'd spent five years waiting for with nothing more than a throwaway "keep it simple".

I knew the bonding ceremony would never happen. Still, hearing him say it cut deep.

Ryder picked up his keys. "Once it's all over, I'll give you the prime territory as compensation. You've always loved the forest by Silvercrest, haven't you?"

Compensation? He was grinding my dignity into the dirt and dressing it up as generosity.

I only nodded. "Alright."

Ryder shot me a look, unsettled by how calm I was, but said nothing more. He made for the door.

"Wait for me to come back."

He threw the words over his shoulder and left.

As the door clicked shut, I slumped onto the couch.

Wait for him? For what? So we could go through a meaningless bonding ceremony while he watched me die by inches?

I stood and went upstairs to the bedroom. I opened the closet. There it was, the white gown I'd picked with such care. Every stitch of the hand embroidery held the hopes I'd had for that ceremony.

I took it down and eased it into a garment bag. Then I began clearing the room of everything that was mine.

Five years of memories filled three suitcases—photos, letters, little trinkets—each one a witness to what we'd once had. But to Ryder, they meant nothing apparently.

I packed it all and set the suitcases beside the bed. The room lay empty, no different from me.

…

In the afternoon, Isabelle called. Her voice was sweet with delight. "Thanks for the gown, Lyra. It's gorgeous. I felt like a true Luna when I put it on."

"You're welcome," I said.

She wouldn't stop bragging. "Ryder wouldn't stop telling me how beautiful I looked during the shoot. He said seeing me in the gown reminded him of everything beautiful."

I shut my eyes, unwilling to hear more. "Isabelle, is there anything else?"

Her tone turned serious. "Oh, one more thing. Ryder's taking me to Holy Moon Spring for purification and blessing to keep the pregnancy safe. It's the most sacred place in the Bluemoon pack, and only a true Luna may enter."

The true Luna? I was Ryder's mate, and I'd never been taken there.

"Enjoy yourselves," I said, and hung up.

The sun set. The house was empty except for me.

I sat in the living room, staring at a framed photo on the wall. In it, Ryder has his arms around me. His eyes were soft with love. That was three years ago.

When did the way he looked at me change? When did he start giving all that gentleness to someone else?

I got up and stepped onto the balcony.

The distant mountains lay ink-dark. The sky bled red. The world was beautiful. It was such a shame I didn't have much time left to take it in.

I heard footsteps behind me. It was the housekeeper, Susan Hale, drawing near.

"Luna, would you like me to prepare dinner?" she asked. Her voice was full of concern.

I turned to the older woman who had cared for me for the past five years. "No, it's fine. You don't have to look after me starting tomorrow."

Susan was taken aback. "What do you mean, Luna?"

I patted her hand. "Nothing in particular. I might be leaving for a while."

The look she gave me said she understood more than I'd said. Her lips parted, then closed.

It was late. I sat alone in the bedroom, staring at the packed suitcases.

Ryder would take Isabelle to Holy Moon Spring for a blessing. And I would begin the last leg of my life.

My phone buzzed with a text.

"We just saw such beautiful moonlight at Holy Moon Spring. I wish I could bring you here often."

That message wasn't meant for me. Ryder had sent it to the wrong person.

I deleted it, as though I was erasing us altogether.