I stood up first, my body trembling as we walked in.

  The doctor looked at his note.

  “Have a seat,” he said, gesturing to the chairs in front of his desk.

  “Well, doctor, we trust in your expertise and hope you have good news for us,” Tom said.

  I clutched my bag, hugging it closer to my chest.

  “Well, there is good news and bad news. Which should come first?” the doctor said.

  I glanced at Tom and took in a deep breath.

  Tom leaned back in his seat.

  “I think we should hear the bad news first.”

  “Well,” the doctor said, clasping his hands together and looking over the rim of his glasses.

  “The bad news is, it seems that Selene’s ovaries are no longer producing healthy eggs.”

  I froze.

  Tom's brows furrowed, and he leaned forward.

  “Wha…what do you mean, doctor?” I stammered.

  “Your eggs are not being fertilised, ma'am.”

  Tom glanced at me and back at the doctor.

  “We have a daughter. She’s five,” he said.

  The Doctor sighed. “Well, things like this do happen over time; it could be hormones, stress or even age, but with proper treatments you should be pregnant in no time!”

  “Ca…can we see the results, Doctor?” I asked.

  “Sure, here it is.” He stretched it in our direction.

  I reached for it, but Tom beat me to it.

  The look on his face told me everything I needed to know.

  Then he handed it to me slowly.

  My name was boldly written across the top.

  Then just right underneath.

  Assessment: Patient exhibits premature ovarian insufficiency.

  My stomach twisted. The room spun.

  It felt like my body had suddenly stopped belonging to me. Like I had failed in the one place Tom needed me most.

  “No,” I shook my head. “This is wrong, Tom. It's not true.”

  He wasn't listening. “How do we go about treatments, doctor?”

  He leaned back on his chair. “It would be a series of fertility shots, healthy diets and exercise, but nothing too serious.”

  “Thank you very much; we will be in touch,” Tom said, standing up.

  I reached for his arm, but he swatted it away.

  I turned to the doctor, wishing I could plug his eye out for delivering such news.

  Tears threatened to spill.

  “Thank you for ruining my life, doctor.”

  “I am sorry, ma'am; I was only doing my job.”

  I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked out. I slammed the door behind me.

  Tom was already in the car. His jaw tightened.

  “Tom, please…” I sobbed.

  “I don't want to hear it. “Get in, Selene,” he snapped.

  I stepped in hurriedly. My chest pounded.

  He didn't even wait for me to shut the door before speeding off.

  I leaned my head against the windowsill. Tears ran down my cheeks.

  I couldn’t believe it. Infertile. After all these years, I wished I’d never suggested seeing a specialist.

  We drove in silence. The only sound was the blaring horn from the cars that swerved past us as we moved between lanes.

  Finally, he pulled up at the front of the house.

  “I am sorry,” I whispered, my voice shaking.

  “Get out,” he commanded.

  “What?” I asked, shocked.

  “Now!”

  I stared at him. His gaze pierced into mine.

  My eyes widened.

  He was serious.

  My legs trembled as I stepped out of the car. The wind felt like it slapped my wet cheeks. I stood there, hugging myself, feeling small.

  He drove so fast the tyres screeched.

  “Forgive me, Tom,” I called to the disappearing car.

  I stood there for what felt like hours.

  Then finally, I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeves before walking into the house.

  Inside, the house was quiet.

  Amira was asleep.

  “I hope she wasn't much trouble?” I asked the babysitter.

  “No, she was wonderful, and her temperature is back to normal.”

  “Thank you so much,” I said, fighting back tears. The doctor's words replayed in my head.

  “Could you stay here for an extra hour? I would pay.” I asked.

  “Sure, ma'am, I would be delighted too,” she squealed.

  “Thank you.”

  I made my way to the kitchen.

  I had an idea.

  He was angry, yes—but maybe I could soften him. Steak and mashed potatoes… his favourite. He needed a good lunch.

  My fingers moved mechanically, cracking eggs, washing potatoes, and seasoning the meat.

  Cooking had always been the one way I could still feel useful to him. Maybe—just maybe—if he tasted something he loved, he would remember he once loved me too.

  I placed the steak on the plate, my hands trembling. Would he even eat it?

  I walked out the door, the food neatly packed in a box.

  I didn't want to lose Tom, not after all these years.

  I got in my car and drove in the direction of his office.

  Tom was the proud CEO of his late father's company. He never let me come here with him except when he had forgotten an important document and he needed it.

  I could feel the eyes on me as I walked through the lobby—employees pretending not to stare, whispering behind the computer screens.

  I forced my shoulders up. I wasn’t here to embarrass him. I just wanted to fix things.

  At the top floor, the secretary blocked my part.

  Her arms were folded over her chest with an annoying pout on her lips.

  “Ma’am, Mr Harold strictly warned me not to let anyone in.” She twisted her feet nervously.

  I narrowed my eyes. “Mr Harold is my husband. So if you will excuse me”

  “Maa…m”

  I brushed past her, pushing her aside. I never liked that woman.

  She followed behind.

  “Ma’am, you really shouldn’t…”

  My chest pounded.

  I placed my fingers on the door of Tom's office door, exhaling.

  I imagined how he might smile when he saw the meal.

  I pushed it open.

  I heard voices before I even stepped fully inside. The sight before me made my stomach twist.

  “Tom!”

  The box slipped from my fingers to the floor.

  The contents spilt over.

  “I warned you,” the secretary muttered.

A blonde woman sat on Tom’s lap, her arm draped over his shoulder as she sat crosleged over his Lap, their faces close enough to touch.

  My chest tightened, my legs felt like jelly, and for a second I couldn’t breathe.

  Tom stood up abruptly, pushing her gently aside.

  My voice quivered. “What's the meaning of this, Tom?”

  Tom's brows quivered; he pointed a finger in my direction. “You, what are you doing here? Haven't I warned you to not come here uninvited?”

  “Who is this Tom?” the lady asked.

  I glanced at her — and recognised her instantly.

  I couldn't mistake her for anything.

  Lisa, Tom’s first love.

  My heart dropped.

  “Sadly, she's my wife, Lisa,” Tom said, his fingers curled tightly by his side.

  My heart finally shattered into a million pieces.

  “Sadly?”

  He turned to the secretary. “I told you not to allow anybody in.”

  “Sir, I tried to stop her, but…”

  “Get out,” he commanded.

  She turned around sharply and walked out.

  “You didn't tell me you had a wife, Tom,” Lisa said, from behind me.

  “I didn't think it… important.”

  Tears ran down my cheeks. My legs threatened to give way.

  I spun around and walked out of the office, taking the stairs two at a time.

  I felt the piercing gazes as I half ran through the lobby on the ground floor, but I didn't care.

  The air felt too contaminated to breathe.

  I walked fast towards my car.

  “Selene!” Tom called from behind me.

  I didn't stop.

  I stopped at the car and fidgeted with the door handle.

  He held my wrist and spun me around.

  “You are overreacting, Selene,” he muttered.

  “Overreacting?” I jerked my hand away. My chest pounded. “You bring your first love to the office hours after getting a devastating report while I was at home struggling to make your favourite meal?”

  He ran a hand through his hair. “Listen, okay, Lisa’s really sick, and she needs someone at her lowest. I am only helping.”

  I stared at him. For a moment I wanted to believe him. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms and take me inside and tell me he just wanted to surprise me for our anniversary. 

  “By bringing her to your office to warm you up, Tom? What does her being sick have to do with your infidelity?” I sobbed. The words hung in my throat.”

  “Look, now isn't the right time to talk about this. We would meet at home.” He walked past me and opened the door. “Go and freshen up, Selene.”

  I stood, gazing at him. This wasn't the Tom I had married on the pulpit that day.

  I steadied myself and walked into the car.

  He shut the door and waited. Till I drove out of the premises.

  I never looked back.

  I knew there was trouble when I overheard his sister's excited voice when she spoke to Marilyn, Tom's mother, about Lisa coming back a few weeks back.

  “I am so excited, Mother. Aren't you Tom?” She nudged Tom at the dinner table.

  Tom had pretended not to care, but I caught the curve of his lips before he rolled the pasta into his mouth.

  She had left without a trace after Tom had an accident a few years ago.

  The diagnosis was that he wouldn't walk again. But he did.

  Tom was heartbroken; he claimed he would never love again.

  A rumour sufficed that he wasn’t interested in women. That wasn't a good reputation for his father's company.

  Our marriage was a form of damage control.

  I wailed. Tears blurred my vision as I drove.

  All my years of dedication thrown down the drain.

  I couldn't go home. I couldn't let Amira see me this way.

  I drove to Sophie's house. My best friend for the longest time.

  As I stepped down from the car, she opened the door and walked out.

  “Sophie,” I called out in between sobs, unable to stand without wobbling.

  She ran to me, pulling me into a hug. “What's wrong, Selene?”

  I tried to speak, but the tears wouldn't let me.

  “Let’s go inside,” Sophie said.

  She guided me in carefully. We sat on the sofa while she stroked my hair.

  I buried my face in her shoulder, taking in her scent. My body trembled.

  Slowly, the tears wavered.

  She pulled me back and wiped at my eyes.

  “Here is a tissue.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “What’s going on, Selene?”

  I snorted, “It's Tom.”

  She drew back, venom on her lips. “That man – what did he do this time?”

  “I caught him, Sophie, with Lisa. They were making out.” Tears spilt out again.

  She got up angrily. “What! How dare he? That's a piece of shit.”

  “Oh Sophie, I am so heartbroken.”

  She scrunched her face like I had said the most irritating thing ever. “Heartbroken Selene? You should be angry. You should be done with that man. You have endured a lot.”

  “I know, but what about Amira? She needs a father,” I muttered.

  “She doesn't need a father, Selene. She has you. I am here too, and that's more than enough.”

  “But…” I began.

  “There is no but, Selene. You need a divorce.”

  My head snapped. It was the first time we had said the word out loud.

  “Mmhm,” she nodded.

  I sank deeper into the sofa, my hands clutching the edge of the cushion. Sophie’s words echoed in my ears. Divorce…

  I thought of Amira, of all the years I had given to Tom, of every time I had swallowed my pride to keep our fragile peace. My chest tightened. Could I really let go?

  I wiped at my tears; my fingers trembled.

  I closed my eyes and exhaled shakily. “Maybe… maybe it’s time,” I whispered.

  But even as the words left my lips, I felt doubtful. Was I ready? Could I survive letting him go?

  The memory of Amira earlier today asking for a hug from Tom and him shunning her made my fingers dig into my palms.

  I wasn't going to let him dictate my life in this way anymore. I just couldn't.

Amira’s birthday party.

 I stood at the far end of the hall, glancing at Tom. Lisa stood beside him.

 She threw her head back, running her palm over his arm, laughing at something Tom's business associate said.

 My fingers tightened around the glass of wine in my hand.

 The nerve of him to invite his mistress over for our child's sixth birthday party.

 “Mum, my friends said they love my party.”

 I turned around. My heart melted at the sight of Amira wearing a cute tiara and the cutest pink dress, all flushed from excitement.

 I crouched and kissed her forehead. “I love you too, my cutie pootidu.”

 “Muah,” she mouthed.

 I took her hand and walked towards Sophie's direction.

 She was seated at the table talking to Amira’s hot pianist. Smiling like a damn Cheshire cat.

 “Could you help me watch Amira for a second, please?” I asked. “I need to use the restroom.”

 She opened her arms, a wide smile on her lips.  “Come here, birthday princess.”

 Amira released my grip and jumped on Sophie's lap.

 I smiled. “What would I do without you, Sophie?”

 She giggled. “Absolutely nothing, Selene.”

 I made my way to the guest restroom.

 I really wasn't pressed, but staying in the same room as Tom and his mistress made my stomach churn.

 I needed a breather.

 I placed my hand underneath the tap as the water ran out, then dabbed at my face with a little water.

The restroom door creaked.  I felt the hairs on my neck prickle. Someone walked in.

 Lisa.

 Her red dress hugged her in the tightest way possible.

 She leaned forward, filling the doorway with her presence.

 My chest tightened.

 “You look rather stressed, Selene.”

 I glared at her.

 She shut the door behind her and walked towards me. Her heels clicked as she came closer.

 “I love Amira honestly; she's such a happy soul.”

 I swallowed. “You have no right to talk about my daughter.”

 She chuckled. “It's a pity though; you can't even give Tom another child, talk more of a son.”

 I froze, my knees threatening to give way. My fingers dug into the edge of the sink.

 “Why are you here, Lisa?”

 She smiled, exposing a set of white teeth. “Well, to give Tom what you couldn't after all these years. Isn't it obvious?”

 I jolted, turning to face her. She stood a few inches taller than me.

 “You think you can replace me, Lisa? You think you can just show up and become a part of Tom’s life just like that? He loves us and…”

 “Oh please, Selene,” she spat, “I have perceived you as so many things, but not delusional. It's obvious Tom never loved you.”

 She walked around me and turned on the tap behind me, sending shivers down my spine.

 “I am the one he's ever truly loved. Don't you see? All I have to do is make one call. And the life as you know it goes poof.”

 She snapped her fingers, “and he comes crawling back into my arms.”

 My lips quivered. “I won't let you destroy my family.”

 “You look like you might cry, Selene. I should leave; we don't want to cause a scene.” She walked towards the door.

 “Oops, I almost forgot,” she said, stopping in her tracks. “I wanted to show you this cute picture of Tom and me from last week”

 My breath caught—last week, when he told me he was on a business trip and ignored my calls…

 My feet stayed glued to the floor. I couldn't move.

 “Look!” She hovered her phone over my face.

 She wore a red dress; they stood at a rooftop, his hand placed at her lower back. Smiling back at her in a way he had never smiled at me before.

 It felt like I might faint. I gasped for air.

 “You see? He chose me over you.”

 “Get out!” I managed to say.

 Her phone rang, Tom's name sprawled on the screen.

 She gasped mockingly, “You see? He's calling. He misses me.”

 “Get out! Now!”

 She grinned. “Bye, Selene.”

 She catwalked out and shut the door behind her.

 I collapsed on the floor.The room spun around me, the walls seemed to close in from every corner, my heart hammered so loud I could hear it over the music outside.

 My tears blurred the room.  I felt like someone had ripped a piece of my heart and tossed it into the air.

 I whispered to the empty room, “How did it come to this?”

 You need to get yourself together, Selene.

 Today is Amira's day. That vile woman cannot ruin it.

 My hands shook as I tried to push myself up. I washed my face with the running water and stared at my reflection in the mirror.

 This wasn't the young, vibrant Selene who wanted to take on the world and be the best-selling author. She had changed. A shadow of her dreams.

 I put on a smile, squared my shoulders, and wiped at my face.

 At the door, I placed my hand on the doorknob and exhaled before pushing it open.

 The hot air and loud music washed over my face, causing me to gasp for air.

 I made my way back to the party. My heart hammered in my chest.

 At the table, I poured myself a glass of wine. My eyes scanned to room flashing a fake smile where necessary. 

 “You haven’t changed one bit, Selene.” a voice said from behind.

 My spine stiffened.

 That voice.

 It sounded too familiar. Like the name that called out to me when we were just kids.

 The voice that had mentioned he loved me time and time again.

 I spun around.

 He stood a few inches from me; a dimpled smile played across his lips.

 My mouth dropped.

 “Rowland?”

 “Hello, Selene.”