During my post-transformation checkup, Lucian made an excuse to leave early—again. I was used to his sudden absences by now, but it hadn’t always been this way. At first, a sharp sting of abandonment would cut through me whenever he left, but over time, I had become numb to it.

I took the herbal remedy the pack healer gave me and began my solitary walk back through the dense, shadowy woods. A bone-deep loneliness clung to me, echoing between the towering trees as the moonlight filtered through the branches.

When I arrived back at the den, I opened my phone and saw that someone named Ivy had tagged Lucian in a post. It read: Just caught a chill, but Lucian insisted on dragging me to the pack healer and has been with me since. You're still the best Alpha!

I didn’t bother to ask him why he kept lying or to confront him with anger like I once might have. Perhaps I should have been furious or demanded an explanation, but that energy had drained out of me, leaving only a dull ache. Confronting him now felt like yet another battle I had long since given up on fighting.

Later, he brought this Ivy to the pack’s full moon gathering, and I received a stream of photos showing the two of them together. Was I upset? Not really.

One day, I ran into Lucian on the outskirts of the territory, holding Ivy’s child in his arms, the three of them looking every bit like a family. A wry smile twisted my lips as I said, “The child needs an Alpha to guide them, Lucian. You should spend more time with them.”

Lucian’s face paled, and he grabbed my arm, desperation lacing his voice. “Rowan, why don’t you care anymore?”

Two months ago, I lost our pup after being knocked over during a border patrol. Today, Lucian accompanied me for a follow-up checkup. Once again, he made a flimsy excuse and left early. I didn’t try to hold him back; I was past that now.

As I watched him disappear into the forest, I felt a wave of detachment wash over me. His presence no longer had the power to sway my emotions, and I wasn’t as heartbroken about it as I might have been before.

The healer called my name, and I accepted the results in silence before gathering my things and heading back to the den. Not long after, a message from Lucian lit up my screen: Rowan, you can find your way home, right? I have some urgent pack matters to handle.

In the past, I would have protested and begged for him to come back for me, saying things like, But I need you to be here with me. Now, I simply typed back, Sure.

As I left the healer’s cabin and headed into the dark woods, I spotted Lucian’s car parked nearby. It was strange—he’d just told me he couldn’t come back, so why was he still here? My curiosity flickered briefly, but I buried it quickly. When I arrived back at the den, Ivy’s new post confirmed my suspicions. Lucian’s been with me the whole time, even when I just caught a chill. You’re such a caring Alpha!

The photos in her status were proof enough; there was Lucian’s shadow in the background, his silhouette unmistakable. Ivy—no, Sierra Storm—was Lucian’s childhood sweetheart. She’d left the pack years ago when she’d mated with a wealthy Alpha from another territory. But after her mate’s ruin and their bitter split, she’d returned with a child in tow.

In Lucian’s eyes, I’d always been a stand-in, filling the void she’d left behind. Yet I had clung to my love for him like a fool, even agreeing to bond with him. There was a time I dreamed of having a pup together, of building a future. But perhaps losing that pup was the universe’s way of warning me. Raising a child with Lucian would never have brought either of us happiness.

Later that night, as I lay in our den, I heard the creak of the door and smelled the sharp, unfamiliar perfume. Lucian approached and gently ran a hand through my hair. “How did it go today? What did the healer say?” he asked softly.

I turned away, keeping my voice steady. “Everything’s fine.”

Lucian gave a quick nod, offering a hurried excuse. “Things have been... busy with the pack lately.”

I rolled over, shutting him out. “Then you should shower before bed. You smell like the city.”

He hesitated, but then the sound of running water filled the silence.

The first light of dawn barely brushed the horizon as I set out for my early shift patrolling the territory. The air was crisp, and a faint mist clung to the ground, wrapping the world in a veil of quiet. After the morning briefing, I received a call from Lucian.

“Rowan, why didn’t you wake me up? You left without saying a word,” he said, his voice thick with annoyance.

In the past, I would have scrambled to make sure he was ready, laying out his clothes and preparing a hot breakfast to start his day. But things had changed; I was no longer his caretaker. I was his mate, and I deserved more than to be overlooked.

“Looks like you’ll have to fend for yourself today,” I replied, my tone detached.

“What am I supposed to wear?” he shot back, frustration clear in his voice.

“Choose whatever you want. Everything you need is in the closet,” I said, trying to keep my composure.

“But they’re all wrinkled! Didn’t you take care of that?” he complained. A second message buzzed in almost immediately: You didn’t make breakfast either?

Before I could respond, the pack's Beta approached, a grin lighting up his face. “Rowan! Fantastic news! The council approved your application for advanced training. You’ll be heading to the Northern Cliffs next month!”

In the past, I might have turned down such an opportunity, prioritizing Lucian’s needs over my own. But those days felt like faded memories.

“I accept,” I stated, my resolve firm as a fresh wave of determination surged within me.

“Great! Start preparing; this is a wonderful chance for you,” he said, his enthusiasm contagious. For the first time in ages, I felt the reins of my life slipping back into my hands.

The hours slipped by, filled with planning and anticipation. When I finally found a moment to breathe, my phone buzzed again. Lucian’s name flashed on the screen.

“Where are you? I’ve been waiting for dinner,” he complained, irritation seeping through the line.

“I swapped shifts with someone else. You might want to consider takeout,” I replied, striving for neutrality.

“Takeout? You mean you won’t be home? That’s... surprising,” he replied, a hint of disbelief coloring his words.

“Is there an issue?” I pressed, keeping my voice steady.

A pause hung in the air before he finally responded. “Just... don’t push yourself too hard.”

“Thanks for the concern,” I said flatly.

A heavy silence followed, stretching uncomfortably between us. Finally, Lucian broke it. “Rowan, are you upset with me?”

His question tugged at my lips, almost pulling a bitter smile from me. Was he genuinely this clueless, or was he simply indifferent? The answer didn’t matter anymore. I refused to carry anger for his sake.

No, I wouldn’t carry anything for him at all.

---

As the day wore on, my thoughts swirled around the upcoming training and what it meant for my future. I pictured myself in the Northern Cliffs, surrounded by new challenges and opportunities. I envisioned growing stronger, not just physically but mentally, reclaiming a part of myself I had lost along the way.

But Lucian’s irritation still lingered like an unwelcome shadow. I thought back to the way I had molded myself around him, trying to fit into the role he desired. I remembered the countless mornings I’d woken up early, tiptoeing around our home to ensure everything was perfect for him. But that version of myself felt like a stranger now. I was no longer willing to sacrifice my own needs for someone who barely noticed my absence.

I moved through the rest of my shift with a renewed sense of purpose. I spoke with other pack members about my training, their encouragement fueling my resolve. They saw potential in me that I had long neglected, and it felt exhilarating to finally believe in myself again.

Later, I found a quiet moment alone, standing at the edge of our territory, watching the sun rise higher in the sky. The light washed over everything, illuminating the path ahead of me. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the cool morning air, and felt a spark of excitement flicker to life inside me. This was my chance to break free, to carve out my own destiny, separate from Lucian’s expectations.

Just as I began to lose myself in my thoughts, my phone buzzed again. Lucian’s name flashed on the screen once more. I hesitated for a moment, feeling a twinge of annoyance at the prospect of another conversation that could easily derail my newfound clarity. But I answered, expecting the same frustration to spill over.

“Rowan, I really don’t understand why you left without telling me. It’s not like you,” he said, his voice more demanding than curious.

“Things have changed, Lucian. I’m not your personal assistant anymore. I have my own life to think about,” I replied, holding my ground.

“Is that what you really think? That I don’t appreciate you?” he shot back, an edge creeping into his tone.

“It doesn’t matter what you think,” I said sharply. “I need to take care of myself now, and that means not waiting around for you to decide what I should do.”

“Don’t you want to be with me? I thought we were a team,” he pressed, his voice softening as if trying to pull on my heartstrings.

“I want to be with someone who respects my choices,” I replied, frustration boiling just beneath the surface. “I’m tired of being an afterthought.”

Silence stretched again, thick and uncomfortable. Lucian finally sighed, the sound heavy with resignation. “Rowan, are you really angry with me?”

I couldn’t help but feel a flash of bitterness at his question. Did he truly not see how his actions had affected me? It was infuriating. But I was done fighting for someone who didn’t recognize my worth.

I said nothing to his question.

“Fine, do what you want,” he replied, his voice flat.

As I hung up, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. The decision had been made. I would embrace my training and step into my own life, regardless of Lucian’s expectations.

His question brought a bitter smile to my lips. Was he truly this oblivious, or did he just not care? It didn’t matter anymore. I wouldn’t be angry, not for his sake. No, I wouldn’t be anything at all.

In a low, almost pleading tone, Lucian tried to justify himself. “Rowan, Ivy has been through so much raising a pup by herself. She doesn’t have anyone else in the pack to lean on. I’m just trying to help her out.”

His words cut deep, sharp and biting like claws on my skin. He always seemed to forget that I was alone in this pack too, reliant on him in the same way Ivy relied on him now.

“I get it,” I replied, keeping my voice steady. My calm exterior hid the storm swirling within me.

“Rowan, what does that even mean? Why are you speaking like that?” He was losing his grip, his voice escalating with anger.

“I said I get it,” I repeated, my calm voice turning steely, “Is that a problem?”

“Do you have to talk to me like this?” he snapped, irritation bleeding through his words.

“What do you want me to say?” I shot back, my frustration boiling over. The silence that followed was heavy, thick like fog in the forest. Finally, he muttered under his breath, “Fine, do whatever you want,” before abruptly hanging up.

Wasn’t it just typical? He used to call me clingy whenever I questioned why he was always with Ivy. And when I’d call to ask when he’d be home, I was the unreasonable one. Now, even my attempts to understand him turned me into the target of his ire.

I tossed my phone onto the counter with a weary sigh, pushing the encounter from my mind. There were more important things to focus on—like the pack documents sprawled across the table in front of me.

After my shift at the clinic ended, I took my time cleaning up, delaying my return to the den as long as possible. When I finally arrived home, Lucian was already gone, leaving only the lingering scent of him behind. I washed off the grime of the day and collapsed into bed, hoping sleep would offer some solace. Just as I started to drift into the realm of dreams, my phone buzzed incessantly, pulling me back to reality. It was Lucian.

“Rowan,” he gasped, his voice strained and filled with pain. “My stomach... it’s killing me.”

I mumbled a barely coherent response, but my exhaustion quickly overpowered my concern, pulling me back into a restless sleep. In the haze of dreams, I thought I heard him calling my name again, but it sounded far away, as if it were lost in the depths of a foggy forest. I pushed it aside, choosing the comfort of sleep over his distant pleas.

When I finally awoke to the creaking of the door, I found Lucian standing over me, pain etched into his features, his expression a mix of hurt and frustration.

“Rowan, why don’t you care anymore? You used to worry when I was in pain. You would make remedies and bring me potions,” he accused, disbelief ringing in his voice.

I remembered that version of myself clearly. There had been a time when Lucian had a similar stomachache, and I’d raced through pouring rain to deliver a special herbal remedy to him at the packhouse. I had shown up soaked and disheveled, only to be met with laughter from his packmates while Lucian stood by, unmoved and indifferent.

Afterward, he’d said to me, “Don’t come to the packhouse like that again, Rowan. It’s embarrassing.”

“Are you feeling any better now?” I asked, still half-asleep and rubbing my eyes. “We might be out of herbs, though. Maybe you should grab some from the healer’s hut.”

His jaw tightened, frustration flaring in his eyes. He grabbed my arm roughly, a low growl rumbling in his chest. “How long are you going to hold this grudge against Ivy, huh? I told you, there’s nothing between us!”

“Oh, is that right?” I replied, my calm demeanor in stark contrast to his rising anger.

With a frustrated snarl, Lucian stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. For the first time in what felt like ages, I savored the silence that followed.

---

As the quiet enveloped me, I reflected on the chaos that had become our lives. Lucian had always been the center of my universe, but now it felt like I was orbiting a distant star, struggling to stay grounded. I had given so much of myself to him, only to feel like a ghost in my own home.

I forced myself to focus on the pack documents again, trying to distract myself from the ache in my chest. The words blurred together as I read, each line reminding me of the responsibilities I had taken on, yet Lucian’s shadow loomed large over my thoughts.

He was supposed to be my partner, my mate, but instead, he felt more like a stranger who took me for granted. My heart tightened at the thought of all those moments I had spent trying to prove my worth to him—days and nights filled with worry and care that seemed to go unnoticed.

After what felt like hours, I put the documents aside, realizing I couldn’t force myself to engage with them any longer. My mind drifted back to earlier conversations, each one a reminder of the growing distance between us.

I recalled the first time I felt that distance—when he had started spending so much time with Ivy. I had tried to be supportive, to understand, but each hour he was away felt like a dagger to my heart. I had been nothing but patient, but patience was wearing thin.

Couldn’t he see how hard I was trying? I remembered the countless nights I lay awake, worrying about him, and how now it seemed like those concerns were unreciprocated.

Just as I began to spiral deeper into my thoughts, my phone buzzed again. It was Lucian once more. I hesitated, unsure if I was ready for another round of accusations.

“Rowan,” he said, his voice softer this time but still laced with pain, “I... I didn’t mean to snap at you earlier.”

I felt a mixture of relief and frustration. It was good that he was reaching out, but why did it always feel like we were running in circles?

“Lucian, I’m not angry,” I said, my tone steady but firm.

“I’m trying to figure this out, Rowan, tell me what’s wrong.” he replied, sounding genuinely conflicted.

I said nothing to him.

There was a long pause before he finally said, “Fine, I’ll leave you alone for now. Just... think about what I said. Please.”

As I hung up, I felt a mix of sadness and liberation wash over me.