Chapter 4

“I didn’t sleep.”

“You didn’t?” Kai’s voice was soft in the doorway like he expected me to be a wreck.

“I didn’t.” I dragged the words like a blade. “How do anyone get any sleep when three mate bonds are thrumming like competing heartbeats. I barely closed my eyes.”

“No wonder you look so exhausted,” Osilus said, handing me a coffee. “A pretty woman like you deserves her beauty sleep. Anyways, training starts in twenty. Wear something you can move in.”

“I already have something to move in?” I sniffed, tiny fury flaring. “Of course you’d pick my size.”

“We planned for emergencies,” he said, like it absolved him of prophecy.

“Here, peace offering.”he smiled holding out a tray.

“Three espressos?” I looked at the cups. “Are you trying to sedate me or murder me?”

“Both,” he said, and it almost made me smile. “Because you’re my mate and I failed you before. Not again.”

“You failed me?” The laugh on my lips was bitter. “You did bring me coffee when I cried. But that’s not the same as stopping a man from stomping on me.”

“It’s different now.” His gaze went warm and insistent. “Your happiness matters to me.”

“Then show me.” I opened the door and let him lead.

“You good?” he asked as we entered the training room. The walls were padded and I could see the forest from the windows. I looked around and my eyes caught two shirts on a bench.

“Oh my gosh, I can't believe this, the three men I hate are gathered to watch me train.” I said barely hiding my sarcasm.

Zane was lounged against the wall, shirtless and smug as sin. Avalon stood in the center, he was shirtless too and his arms were crossed in the kind of posture that made the floor feel inferior.

“Wonderful,” I said. “What a way to start my morning.”

“Phoenixes don’t train in shirts,” Zane said. “They rip things apart.”

“I’m not shifting,” I said.

“Not yet,” Avalon corrected. “But you will. Your wolf is dormant, not dead. We just need to wake her.”

“And what if I don’t want to?” I folded my arms.

“Too bad,” Zane said, and moved like a shadow. “You’re a Lunar Phoenix. Everyone with a better brain than you sees what that means. You need to defend yourself.”

Avalon closed the distance before my brain could protest, his hand at my throat. He wasn't squeezing, just showing he could.

“You’re so dead,” he said flatly. “That barely took me two seconds.”

Rage lit me as heat flared through my veins and golden light licked my skin. He jerked back, then hissed as his palm blistered.

“Don’t you dare touch me,” I snarled.

Zane grinned. “There she is.”

“Your Phoenix is reactive,”

Osilus said, stepping forward. “This is good. It means she’s close to the surface.”

“What is this thing?” I demanded, watching the glow fade. “What is inside me?”

“Its not a thing,” Avalon said, flexing the burnt hand. “Its part of you. Your wolf and your Phoenix are linked. One gives you the fight, the other the fire.”

“Though emotion feeds it,” Zane added, circling like he’d always been a vulture. “Rage, fear, desire—they all fuel the flame.”

“Desire?” The word snagged something alarming in my chest. The bonds pulsed like answering drums.

“Control yourself,”Avalon stepped back into teacher mode. “You need to learn to channel it without letting it consume you. Otherwise, you’re a ticking time bomb.”

“That’s very encouraging.” I spat.

“We’re not here to encourage,” he said. “We’re here to keep you alive. Osilus, start.”

Osilus’s face softened and then grew serious. “I need to touch your wolf through the mate bond. Do you trust me?”

“No.” I almost said it, then put my hand in his.

The west-bond flared—warm like hearthlight as his eyes goldened. “Breathe with me. In… out.”

I followed him and felt something inside me stir, curious and sleepy and amused.

“She’s talking,” I whispered.

“Good,” He said. “What is she saying?”

“She says the your technique needs work,” I said, a ghost of a smile twitching. “She said your wolf was lazy and fierce and annoyingly charming.”

He actually laughed. “I can work with that.”

“Enough bonding,” Avalon snapped. “Can she shift?”

“Not yet,” Osilus said. “She’s too weak from years of being dormant.”

“Then we need to feed her,” Zane said, and my spine tightened when he put a hand at my lower back. “Phoenix fire strengthens wolves if you channel inward.”

“Be careful, that's extremely dangerous,” Avalon warned.

“Fine,” I said, and the world tilted as Zane’s presence slammed into mine—fire on fire. Pain ripped through me and I screamed.

“Let it out!” Zane yelled. “Channel it down into your wolf!”

I didn’t know how. The fire burned and I thought I’d die again before cold hands seized my shoulders. It was Avalon’s northern pressure and it crashed into me like ice.

“You’re not dying,” he barked. “Control it.”

His command was a whip and my body obeyed. The blaze condensed and shifted, and my wolf drank until she purred.

“She wants more,” I breathed.

“Give it to her.” Osilus’s warmth steadied the storm. “We’ve got you.”

I stopped fighting and let the Phoenix roar. The pain became power and the power became clarity. My wolf broadened as it tasted strength.

“Her eyes,” Osilus said in awe. “They’re…”

“Gold and silver,” Avalon finished. “Wolf and Phoenix.”

I looked at my hands, there was no glow, but I felt a hum under my skin.

“How do you feel?” Zane asked, still holding me like there was nowhere else to be.

“Powerful,” I admitted. Then my stomach growled like a betraying beast.

“You have no shame as a lady,” Zane said, amused.

“Training burns,” Avalon said. “We’ll rest while she eats breakfast, then continue.”

“Carry me,” Osilus offered.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” I said.

“I guess I have to be the man,” Zane said, and scooped me up like I weighed nothing. I didn’t fight it because it felt oddly safe.

At the table they fed me like I’d been starving for weeks and in truth I had.

The food was ridiculously tasty and all three hovered, shoveling eggs, fruit, and protein into my tiny mouth.

“This is more serious than food,” Avalon said after half of the food was gone. “We need to talk about the Council.”

“Can’t I eat in peace?” I set my fork down. “Tell me, why are they’re so interested in the Lunar Phoenix bloodlines?”

He explained, and fear braided cold through his voice. “They govern the packs and when they find a Phoenix and they’ll lock her up until the Vampires come for her. After that, she becomes their property.”

“Breed her?” The word tasted like poison in my mouth. “You mean like own her.”

“That’s how it is politically,” Zane said. “We can’t let them know you exist. Not until you’re strong.”

“We will protect you,” Avalon said. “Whether you like it or not, you’re bonded.”

“I don’t need protection,” I said. “I just need power and revenge.”

“You keep talking about revenge, who wronged you that you can't let go?” Osilus’s gaze sharpened.

“I won't rest until Bron and my father pay for their sins. That pack that let me die, I won't rest until I wipe out every single one of them.” The words landed and I felt them settle like coal.

“I haven't forgotten about you Avalon, you are also on my death list for making me feel worthless every day.”

He flinched like the memory hurt. “I…” He stopped.

“Even though you don't remember it, that's what you think of me. If this mate bond hadn't trap you,” I snapped. “You would have rejected me on our wedding night and let Valta walk over me.”

Silence.

Then he said, quiet, “You’re right. I was blind. I saw you as an obligation, not a person, but I am not the same man as of yesterday.”

“Why?” I asked. “What made you care now?”

“I learned what you are,” he said. “And what you survived. No one deserves that especially not my mate.”

“Mates,” Zane said with a grin that was dangerous and oddly fond. “Plural. You might as well enjoy the chaos.”

“Don’t get your hopes up.” I drew a line. “I have conditions.”

“Name them,” Osilus said. He was quick, already my ally on principle.

“Firstly, The final decisions are mine. You advise but you don’t command.”

“All agreed,” they said at once, an unnerving harmony.

“Secondly, no secrets. If the Council is a threat, tell me everything.”

“Done,” Avalon said.

“Thirdly, Bron dies by my hand. Not yours.” My voice pierced through the room.

Zane’s smile went feral. “Mind if I sharpen that blade?”

“And four,” I said breathing slowly. “The bonds are not ownership. Respect that, or I’ll find a way to break them.”

“That’s impossible…” Avalon started.

“Then I’ll die trying,” I said. “Don’t test me.”

No one spoke for a heartbeat. Then Avalon nodded “We accept your terms.”

“Good.” I picked up my fork and ate like the world depended on it.

“We will continue training tomorrow,” Avalon said.

“No, we continue tonight,” I said, the promise tasting like copper and watched as they all smiled.

“I’ll make sure you don’t die again,” Avalon said.

“I don’t want you to save me,” I said. “I want to make sure I kill the people who tried to bury me.” I said, and the words were the last thing I let myself feel.

The training lasted three more brutal hours before Avalon finally called it.

"Enough," he said, and I collapsed against the padded wall, sweat dripping down my spine. My muscles screamed, but underneath the exhaustion, something fierce and alive hummed through my veins.

"She's stronger already," Osilus observed, tossing me a towel. "Her wolf is responding fast."

"The Phoenix fire is feeding her," Zane added, circling me like he always did. "Give her a week and she'll be able to shift fully."

"A week isn't enough," Avalon said, his gaze fixed on me with an intensity that made my skin prickle. "The Council meets in ten days. If they get wind of what she is..."

"Then we make sure they don't," I cut in, pushing off the wall. My legs wobbled but I forced them steady. "I'm not hiding like some fragile thing."

"No one said you were fragile," Avalon stepped closer, and the air between us thickened. "But you're also not invincible. Not yet."

"Then make me invincible," I challenged, meeting his ice-blue eyes. "That's what you promised, isn't it? To help me?"

His jaw tightened. "Go clean up. We'll discuss strategy over dinner."

"Is that an order, husband?" The word dripped with venom.

Something dangerous flickered in his expression. "It's a suggestion but if you want me to make it an order, I can."

The mate bond flared between us—his frost against my fire—and for a moment, neither of us moved. Then Zane laughed, breaking the tension.

"God, the sexual tension between you two could burn down the estate," he said. "Just fuck already and get it over with."

"Zane," Osilus warned, but there was amusement in his tone.

I felt heat crawl up my neck. "I'm going to shower." I pushed past Avalon, deliberately brushing his shoulder. The contact sent electricity skating across my skin, and I heard his sharp intake of breath.

"Zephyr," he called after me.

I didn't turn around. "What?"

"Use the master suite. Your room... the window's still broken from when Zane crashed through it."

"Fine." I kept walking, feeling all three of their gazes burning into my back.

The master suite was quite large. The wood was dark and it gave a cosy vibe with large windows overlooking the forest. The bed was massive, draped in black Egyptian silk.

His bed, I thought, remembering the first time I'd seen this room. In my previous life, I'd never been allowed inside. Valta had occupied it instead, and I'd been relegated to the guest wing like an unwanted burden.

Now, I stood in the center of it as sweat dripped down my breasts.

"Fuck him," I muttered, heading for the adjoining bathroom.

I stripped off my training clothes and stepped under the spray, letting the hot water pound against my sore muscles.

I closed my eyes and tried not to think about the mate bonds thrumming beneath my skin. Tried not to think about how Avalon's touch had felt when he'd grabbed my throat during training.

Tried not to think about the way all three of them had looked at me like I was something precious and breakable and worth protecting.

I don't need protection, I reminded myself. I need revenge.

But even as I thought it, doubt crept in. Because the bonds were getting stronger, and every time one of them touched me, it became harder to remember why I hated them.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear the bathroom door open.

"Zephyr."

I gasped, spinning around to find Avalon standing in the doorway. His dark hair was still damp, and he wore only a pair of low-slung black pants that left his scarred chest on full display.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded, grabbing for a towel. But he moved faster, crossing the space between us in two strides and caging me against the shower wall.

"We need to talk," he said, his voice low and rough.

"So talk," I shot back, very aware of my nakedness and the heat radiating from his body. "From over there."

"No." His hand came up to cup my jaw, thumb tracing my cheekbone. "Because every time I get close to you, you run. And we're done running from this."

"This?" My heart hammered against my ribs. "There is no 'this.' There's a mate bond neither of us wanted and..."

"I want it," he interrupted, and the conviction in his voice made me freeze. "I want you."

"Liar," I breathed. "You wanted Valta. You made that very clear."

Pain flashed across his face. "I was an idiot. I thought... I thought mates were about duty and obligation. That the bond was a cage." His other hand pressed against the tile beside my head, trapping me completely. "But feeling you, Zephyr—feeling this bond—it's not a cage. It's the first time I've ever felt free."

"Pretty words," I swallowed. "They don't change what you did to me."

"I know." His forehead dropped to mine, and I felt his breath against my lips. "I know I hurt you. Humiliated you. Made you feel worthless when you were anything but it. And I can't take that back." His hand slid from my jaw to my throat. "But I can show you what you mean to me now. Let me, Zephyr. Let me worship you the way I should have from the beginning."

The water continued to pour down around us, steam filling the air between us. My hands came up to push him away, but instead, they flattened against his chest. I could feel his heartbeat racing as fast as mine.

"This is a mistake," I whispered.

"Probably," he agreed. Then his mouth crashed against mine.

His tongue swept against mine as his hand tightened on my throat, and I gasped into his mouth. The mate bond exploded between us, ice and fire colliding in a rush of sensation that made my knees weak.

Avalon caught me, one arm wrapped around my waist as he lifted me effortlessly. My legs wrapped around his hips on instinct, and I felt the hard length of him pressed against my core through his pants.

"Fuck," he groaned against my lips. "You feel perfect."

"Shut up," I panted, nails digging into his shoulders. "Just—shut up and—"

He bit my lower lip hard enough to sting, then soothed it with his tongue. "And what? Tell me what you want, Zephyr."

"I want..." The words stuck in my throat. Because what I wanted was complicated and messy and went against every ounce of self-preservation I had left.

"Say it," he commanded, his Alpha voice rolling through me like thunder. And God help me, my body responded—heat flooding between my thighs as the bond pulsed with need.

"I want you to make me forget," I finally admitted, the truth ripping out of me. "Make me forget how much you hurt me. Make me forget everything except this."

Something fierce and possessive blazed in his eyes. "Done."

He carried me out of the shower, water dripping everywhere as he backed me toward the bed. When my legs hit the mattress, he laid me down with surprising gentleness—a stark contrast to the barely leashed violence in his movements.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he said, his gaze raking over my naked body. "I was blind not to see it before."

"Stop talking," I demanded, reaching for him. "Just..."

But he caught my wrists, pinning them above my head with one hand. "No. You're going to lie there and let me apologize properly." His free hand traced down my body, over my collarbone, between my breasts, across my stomach. "And you're going to feel every second of it."

His mouth followed the path his hand had traced, and I arched off the bed as his tongue circled my nipple. He sucked hard enough to make me gasp, then moved to the other breast, lavishing it with the same attention.

"Avalon," I moaned, trying to free my hands. But his grip was iron, and the dominance in it made something dark and needy rise in my core.

"Say my name again," he commanded, teeth grazing down my ribs.

"Ava...lon," I repeated, and he rewarded me by releasing my wrists and spreading my thighs wide.

He stared at my pussy like a man starving, and the hunger in his expression made me clench with anticipation.

"So wet already," he murmured, one finger sliding through my folds. "Is this for me, Zephyr? Or for the bond?"

"Does it matter?" I managed to gasp.

"Yes." He pushed that finger inside me, and I cried out at the intrusion. "Because I need to know you want me. Not just the mate bond. Me."

"You're the same thing," I argued weakly as he added a second finger, stretching me.

"Wrong answer." He withdrew his fingers, and I whimpered at the loss. Then his mouth was on me—tongue licking a broad stripe up my center and my mind went blank.

He ate me like he was trying to devour me whole. His tongue circling my clit, fingers pumping in and out, occasionally scraping his teeth against my sensitive flesh in a way that made me see stars. The mate bond amplified every sensation, feeding his pleasure back into mine in a loop that had me spiraling toward the edge embarrassingly fast.

"Avalon," I gasped, hands fisting in his hair. "I'm going to—"

"Come," he ordered against my clit, and the Alpha command combined with the suction of his mouth sent me hurtling over the edge.

I came with a scream, back arching as pleasure crashed through me in waves. He didn't stop, he kept licking and sucking until I was trembling and oversensitive and pushing at his head.

"Too much," I panted.

"Not nearly enough," he countered, rising to his knees between my thighs. He shoved his pants down, and I held my breath caught at the sight of his cock—thick and long and already leaking at the tip.

"That's not going to fit," I said, eyeing him with a mixture of apprehension and arousal.

"It will." He gripped himself, stroking slowly as he held my gaze. "And you're going to take every inch like the good mate you are."

The dirty talk should have offended me. Instead, it made me clench with need.

He positioned himself at my entrance, the head of his cock pushing against my opening. "Last chance to stop this," he said, and I could see the effort it took him to hold back. "Say the word, and I'll walk away."

I looked up at him—this man who had destroyed me in my past life, who was offering me a different future in this one. And I made my choice.

"Don't you dare walk away," I said, wrapping my legs around his hips. "Fuck me, Avalon. Make me yours."

He slammed into me in one brutal thrust, and I screamed—from pleasure and pain and the overwhelming fullness of him inside me. He was huge, stretching me past what I thought possible, and for a moment, I couldn't breathe.

"Fuck," he groaned, dropping his forehead to mine. "You're so tight. So perfect."

"Please," I demanded, nails raking down his back. "Avalon, please—"

He withdrew almost completely, then thrust back in hard enough to make the headboard slam against the wall. He set a punishing pace—deep, brutal strokes that had me clinging to him and chanting his name like a prayer.

The mate bond sang between us, our pleasure intertwining until I couldn't tell where I ended and he began. I felt his desperation, his need, his overwhelming desire to claim and possess and never let go.

"Zephyr," he growled, one hand fisting in my hair to tilt my head back. "Look at me."

I forced my eyes open, meeting his gaze as he pounded into me. His eyes had gone full wolf—glowing gold—and I knew mine had done the same.

"Mine," he snarled, and the Alpha command in it made me come again, clenching around him.

"Yes," I gasped out, too far gone to fight it. "I am all Yours."

He roared his release, hips jerking as he spilled inside me. The sensation of his cum filling me triggered another orgasm, and I shattered around him, pleasure whiting out my vision.

When I came back to myself, Avalon had collapsed on top of me, both of us breathing hard. His cock was still inside me, twitching with aftershocks, and I could feel the mate bond glowing bright and satisfied in my chest.

"That was..." I started, then trailed off because I didn't have words.

"Yeah," he agreed, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. "It was."

We lay there for a long moment, tangled together, before reality started to creep back in. I shifted uncomfortably, suddenly aware of the mess between my thighs and the fact that I'd just fucked the man I'd sworn to hate.

"Zephyr," Avalon said softly, propping himself up on his elbows to look at me. "This changes things."

"It doesn't change anything," I lied, even as the bond pulsed with warmth. "It was just sex."

"It was never just sex," he countered. "Not with a mate bond this strong."

"Fine." I pushed at his chest until he withdrew from me—both of us hissing at the sensation. "It was mate bond sex. An itch I needed to scratch. Nothing more."

Hurt flashed across his face before he masked it. "If that's what you need to believe."

"It is." I sat up, ignoring the way my body protested the movement. "Now get out. I need to clean up and figure out how to explain this to Osilus and Zane."

"You don't owe them an explanation," Avalon said, but he was already pulling his pants back on. "You're allowed to choose who you bond with and when."

"I didn't choose anything," I snapped. "The bond chose for me."

"Keep telling yourself that," he said, heading for the door. But he paused at the threshold, looking back at me with an expression I couldn't read. "For what it's worth, Zephyr—I'm sorry. For everything I did to you before. And I'll spend the rest of my life proving I'm different now. Whether you believe me or not."

Then he was gone, and I was left alone in his bed, aching and confused and more terrified than I'd been since I'd woken up in this second life.

Because the scariest part wasn't that I'd just fucked Avalon Cary.

It was that some small, traitorous part of me had enjoyed it.

I found Osilus in the library an hour later, after I'd showered again and changed into clean clothes. He looked up from his book as I entered, and his expression shifted from curious to knowing in an instant.

"You smell like him," he observed quietly.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said, collapsing into the chair across from him.

"Okay." He set his book aside. "Do you want to talk about what happens now?"

"Now?" I laughed bitterly. "Now I figure out how to survive having three mates when I can barely handle one."

"You're handling it better than you think," Osilus said. "Most newly awakened Phoenixes go feral from the bond overload. You're still coherent and planning revenge. I'd say that's impressive."

"Or I'm just too angry to go feral," I muttered.

"Anger is a type of strength," he said with a slight smile. "And you'll need it for what's coming."

"What's coming?" I straightened in my chair.

His expression turned grim. "Avalon got word while you were... occupied. Your stepfather and brother are coming to the estate tomorrow. They want to 'check on the new bride' and make sure the alliance is secure."

Ice flooded my veins. "Bron is coming here?"

"And your father," Osilus confirmed. "Which means your revenge is about to start whether you're ready or not."

I thought about that—about facing the men who had killed me, who thought I was still the weak, powerless girl they could manipulate and discard.

Then I smiled, slow and sharp and full of dark promise.

"Good," I said. "Let them come. It's time they learned what a Phoenix can do."