The only reckless thing I ever did in my last life was fall in love with Luca Moretti.

For five years, I called him my brother by day and lay in his arms by night.

Then half a month ago, outside the Moretti Club, I heard him talking to his men.

"Luca, what are you going to do about the little girl Grace brought in? Weren't you supposed to play with her and dump her? How has this gone on for five years?"

"You got with her to get back at your stepmother, right? Sophia dumped you back then, so you turned around and went after Grace's precious daughter. Don't tell me you actually fell for her."

Then Luca's cold, cruel voice slipped through the crack in the door.

"Love her? Come on. I just haven't decided how to end it yet. Maybe I'll let her stand alone in the church on our engagement day. That could be fun."

Laughter burst from the private room.

I stood outside the door, my hands and feet turning ice-cold. So my five years of love were just his pastime, a knife meant to cut my mother.

I ran from the club in a panic, drove straight into the storm, and died in a pileup on Chicago's South Side.

When I opened my eyes again, I had returned to the year before anyone knew about me and Luca.

This time, I wasn't going to wait for him to throw me away.

I would leave first.

I applied to a school in London and finished my visa paperwork. Now, there were only four days left before I left the Moretti estate for good.

"Mom, my admission letter came through. The apartment in London is confirmed, too. My flight leaves in four days." I placed the folder in front of Mom Grace while she was trimming roses in the greenhouse.

Her scissors stopped in midair. "That soon?"

"Yeah. The school wants me there early for enrollment."

She put down the scissors, took my hand, and lowered her voice. "And that boyfriend you mentioned before? Did you break up with him?"

My fingertips stiffened.

Uncle Vincent happened to walk in from the hallway. When he heard her question, his expression darkened. "What boyfriend? He never came to the estate to meet us. That means he never took our Elena seriously. Good riddance."

Before I could answer, the front door opened. Cold air swept in, and the guards at the entrance bowed at once.

"Boyfriend?" That voice was lazy and dangerous. Luca Moretti was pulling off black leather gloves, fresh from the docks, his suit jacket over one arm and a dark stain on his cuff. His eyes landed on me, carrying a scrutiny only I could understand.

My chest tightened, but I still stood and called him the way I had for five years. "Brother."

Luca watched me for a few seconds, then let out a low, unreadable laugh. He tossed his car keys to the butler and went upstairs.

At dinner, Mom Grace opened a bottle of vintage red and raised her glass, happiness plain on her face. "Tonight, we should celebrate. Elena is about to go to Lon..."

My heart lurched. I cut her off at once. "Mom, this wine tastes a little harsh. Maybe it wasn't decanted long enough?"

Mom Grace paused. "Really? I asked the butler to open it early."

I was already standing with the bottle in my hand. "I'll get another one."

The second the kitchen door closed, I lowered my voice. "Mom, please don't tell Luca about me leaving yet."

Mom Grace looked surprised. "Why? He's always cared about you the most. If you're leaving, he should know."

"I'm afraid he'll worry. I'm also afraid he won't agree. I'll tell him after I get to London."

"All right. I'll keep it from him. But when you get there, message me every day."

I barely ate that night. After returning to my room, I dragged my suitcase out from the back of the walk-in closet and hid my important documents, bank cards, and admission papers in the lining.

At midnight, just as the antique clock finished striking twelve, the balcony door opened from the outside. I wasn't asleep, but I kept my eyes closed and pretended not to know.

The mattress dipped. The familiar scent of cedar and smoke came closer, and the next second, Luca wrapped an arm around me from behind. His warm breath brushed my ear. "Who was that boyfriend they mentioned today?"

I opened my eyes. My body tightened on instinct.

He lowered his head and kissed the side of my neck, amusement in his voice. "Your family wants to introduce you to someone, so now you're hiding from me? Elena, haven't I told you? You're mine. Only mine."

In the past, that would have softened me. Now, I only felt cold.

I pushed his hand away. "Luca, stop. I don't feel well."

He froze. His eyes darkened. "What did you call me?"

In private, I never called him Luca. I called him brother, or when he pressed me too hard, I blushed and said his name the way he liked.

I avoided his gaze. "It's my period."

He stared at me, as if trying to decide whether I was lying. At last, he pulled me back into his arms, his voice a little softer. "Fine. I won't touch you tonight. Sleep."

He said it as if that was the greatest mercy in the world.

I lay in his arms and listened as his breathing slowly evened out, but I couldn't sleep at all.

At twelve, I came to the estate. At fourteen, I called him brother. At eighteen, he found my diary and kissed me for the first time. After twenty, we were harmless siblings by day and a stolen dream by night.

Now, the dream had to end.

I picked up my phone and looked at the countdown.

[Four days.]

Slowly, I moved his hand away from my waist. A moment later, he reached for me again in his sleep. I pushed him away again. After several rounds, I took a pillow from the edge of the bed and placed it between us.

This time, Luca didn't come closer.

I kept my eyes open in the dark, one thought clear in my mind.

Soon, I would no longer be his secret. I would no longer be his possession, and I would no longer be the tool he used to hurt anyone.

When I woke the next morning, the space beside me was empty.

Only the faint, cooled scent of cedar remained on the sheets. By our five-year unspoken rule, Luca always left before dawn, as if nothing had happened.

When I washed up and went downstairs, there was a strange woman in the living room.

She wore an ivory suit, blond hair pinned neatly back, with a crocodile handbag beside her and diamonds flashing on her wrist.

Mom Grace waved me over warmly. "Elena, come here. This is Sophia Bellini, your brother's girlfriend."

The word girlfriend still gave my heart a small, sharp pull.

Sophia rose with a sweet, easy smile. "So you're Elena. Luca talks about you all the time. He says you're sweet and so easy to take care of."

I touched her hand briefly, my fingers cold. "Nice to meet you."

Luca was sitting at the other end of the couch. He heard every word and didn't explain. He only glanced at me, as if waiting for me to get jealous, question him, or lose control.

I asked nothing and turned toward the kitchen for water. The glass had just filled when a shadow appeared behind me.

Luca locked an arm around my waist from behind, pinned me against the counter, and lowered his head to kiss me.

I turned away. "Your girlfriend is outside."

He laughed under his breath. "Jealous?"

I said nothing.

He caught my chin and turned my face back. "She isn't my girlfriend. The Bellinis want to reopen talks with the Moretti family about the dock route, and the old man keeps pushing me to get married. I don't have the patience for it, so I asked her to put on a show for a few days."

He brushed his lips over mine. "You know better than anyone who my girlfriend is, don't you?"

Looking into his eyes from so close, I suddenly found it funny. In my last life, I had been fooled again and again by that exact tone. As long as he gave me one explanation, I would make up every excuse for him myself.

This time, I only nodded. "Got it."

A flicker of doubt crossed Luca's eyes. He probably thought I would cry like before, then let him coax me back with a kiss. But I didn't have the strength to play that role anymore.

At breakfast, Sophia was seated beside Luca. She talked about their childhood in Sicily and how Luca still remembered she didn't like her eggs fully cooked.

Luca listened with lazy indifference, but he still moved the runny egg from his plate to hers.

Sophia smiled, her cheeks pink, and pushed a piece of toast she had already bitten back onto his plate. "Then you should try mine, too."

Luca didn't move at once. He looked at me first. I lowered my head and drank my coffee as if I hadn't seen a thing. Only when I reached for a napkin did he pick up the toast and take a slow bite.

I set down my cup. "I'm done."

Uncle Vincent looked up. "Where are you going so early?"

"Downtown. School paperwork."

Sophia immediately smiled. "Perfect. Luca and I are heading out, too. It's raining. Let him give you a ride."

I was about to refuse when Uncle Vincent frowned. "Let Luca drive you. A Moretti daughter doesn't need to hail a cab in the rain."

I had no choice but to grab my bag and head to the garage first. I was going to the British visa center. If Luca found out, he might get suspicious.

Then again, what could he do? The ticket was booked, the school was ready, and someone would meet me in London. He couldn't stop me.

A few minutes later, Luca and Sophia got into the car one after another. Sophia didn't take the passenger seat. Instead, she slid into the back beside me.

The car rolled out of the estate, and rain struck the windows in a dense, gray curtain.

Sophia leaned closer and spoke in a voice only the two of us could hear. "I know you don't like me."

I turned to look at her. Her smile stayed in place, but her eyes cooled. "I also know you and Luca aren't just siblings."

My fingers tightened.

She watched my reaction with satisfaction. "But you two will never end well. You're Grace's daughter. He's the Moretti heir. If your secret gets out, all of Chicago will laugh."

I said nothing.

Sophia took her phone from her bag and set an alarm. Exactly one minute later, it rang.

She answered it, and her voice instantly turned shaky. "What? Lulu is sick? How did she suddenly stop breathing right?"

After hanging up, tears had already gathered in her eyes. She leaned forward toward the front seat. "Luca, the housekeeper says my dog is really sick. I know this is a lot, but she's been with me for ten years. I'm scared. Can you take me home first?"

Luca pulled over and looked out at the rain. I saw his frown. I also saw his brief hesitation. In the end, his eyes landed on me. "Elena, I'll take Sophia to Lincoln Park first. Get out here and take a cab downtown."

Sophia immediately handed me an umbrella, victory shining plainly in her eyes.

I took it and opened the car door. Rain and cold wind rushed in. The umbrella's ribs were loose, and water dripped through two small holes onto my shoulder.

Luca didn't get out. He only watched me through the car window, as if waiting for me to turn back and beg him.

I didn't.

The taillights vanished into the rain. I stood by the curb, holding the broken umbrella, and suddenly let out a soft laugh.

Letting go didn't always mean screaming or sobbing. Sometimes, it was simply seeing that every time he turned away, he had never chosen you.

I walked nearly forty minutes in the rain before I reached the visa center.

My hair was soaked, my skirt clung to my legs, and my documents were nearly ruined. A staff member handed me hot water and asked if I needed to rest.

I shook my head and handed over the documents one by one.

Stamp. Confirm. Sign.

When the last form was taken away, I stared at the small blue stamp and felt my heart go strangely quiet. Now, only one ticket stood between me and the Moretti estate.

The rain still hadn't stopped outside. I couldn't get a cab, so I had to walk back along the street. Rain dripped from my hair into my collar, cold enough to make my teeth chatter.

By the time I returned to the estate, it was already dark.

I didn't go to the dining room or alert anyone. I simply went back to my room and changed out of my wet clothes. But even a hot shower couldn't drive away the chill, and soon I started to burn with fever.

When my mind was at its blurriest, I dreamed too many things. I dreamed of the crash, blinding headlights, and Luca saying in that careless voice that he hadn't decided how to deal with me yet.

When I opened my eyes again, I thought I was still dreaming.

Luca was sitting by the bed, one arm around me and the other holding a bowl of medicine. His shirt sleeves were rolled to his elbows, and rare anxiety sharpened his face. "Be good. Open your mouth."

My throat burned too badly for me to resist. I could only let him feed me spoonful after spoonful.

The medicine was bitter. He lowered a glass to my lips. "Drink some water. Once the fever breaks, you'll feel better." His voice was gentle enough to sound real.

If I hadn't died once, I probably would have wavered again. I closed my eyes and let myself sink back into sleep.

When I woke again, only one wall lamp was on. The fever had broken, but my body still felt weak.

No one sat beside the bed. Only a phone on the nightstand kept vibrating.

It was Luca's private phone.

I shouldn't have looked. But the group chat name popping up on the screen stabbed straight into my eyes.

[North Shore Club]

That was Luca's private chat with his closest men. In my last life, it was in front of those same men that I had heard the joke that destroyed me.

I reached out and picked up the phone. Messages kept appearing.

[Luca, hell of a performance today. Heard Elena had a fever, and you ditched a shipment worth nine figures at the docks, then blew through a dozen red lights to get back to the estate?]

[Be honest. You're not actually into the little sister, are you?]

[Same here. If this is just for fun, who gets that worked up?]

A few seconds later, Luca's reply appeared at the bottom of the screen.

[Into her?]

[I'm just selling the act. The more she believes me, the more Grace hurts when it blows up.]

My breath stopped for a second. Then another message jumped out.

[What about the engagement? Sophia's side is ready. Are you really going to keep Elena in the dark?]

Luca replied fast.

[At my birthday party, I'll announce my engagement to Sophia in front of everyone.]

[As for Elena, it's time she woke up.]

A few short lines crushed the last ridiculous bit of hope inside me.

So his plan for us, his future, his promise that I was the only one, all existed so I would fall harder at his birthday party.

I held the phone until my knuckles slowly turned white. At that moment, the bedroom door opened from the outside.

Luca walked in carrying a glass of hot water. When he saw the phone in my hand, his steps stopped dead. All color drained from his face.

"Elena. What did you see?"