I sat sipping my favorite coffee after working seven hours without a break. Today, I assisted Doctor Martin in the operating room, which took over six hours. I didn't expect to still be able to do this job so well after having been on hiatus for over six years after marrying my husband, Simon Meiyer.

"You did a great job, Nurse Nina!" Doctor Martin praised my prompt assistance during the operation.

"Thank you, Doctor! It's my job!"

"Did you know a new doctor will be replacing me tomorrow?"

"Are you really moving to Vancouver?"

"I got a great offer at one of the biggest hospitals there. Plus, my wife really wants us to move there, as Vancouver is her hometown."

"Is that so? That's a shame, because I've really enjoyed working with you, Doctor!"

"Haha...this is a very good neurology and neurosurgery clinic. It's a pleasure to be part of this team."

"Is the doctor who will be coming tomorrow as experienced as you?"

"I don't know whether he's as experienced as you, considering he's only 27 years old."

"Still 27? A neurosurgeon?"

"Yes, he graduated from Harvard and was one of the top medical students, even at such a young age. He was a genius in his school."

"It seems you know him very well, huh?"

"Hahaha...his father and I became friends while we were studying together in Germany. His father and mother come from a family of doctors and scientists who are very wealthy and influential in the medical field. I hope you and the other medical staff can work together with him."

"Of course, Doctor Martin. You don't need to worry!"

"Okay, then excuse me, and have a good rest!" Doctor Martin said as he left, leaving me alone with the cup of coffee I still held in my hand.

"A young, genius doctor who comes from a very wealthy and influential family of doctors and scientists, huh? His life is truly privileged, very lucky."

"Nurse Nina, why are you daydreaming here alone?" Veronica blurted out, standing beside me without me realizing.

"Can't you see I'm taking a break?"

"It was a very long brain tumor removal operation, huh?"

"Yes, it seems like it's been a while since I last assisted in an operating room performing such a major surgery."

"Isn't your husband a very successful architect now? I've been checking his social media accounts, he lives a very luxurious life with his parents and siblings. But why haven't you been in his vacation photos lately?"

"I'm not coming!"

"Why?"

"I'm not in the mood for a vacation. Besides, it seems like my presence would only ruin the fun."

"Don't talk like that! I think you should learn to give in and get closer to your husband, Nina. After all, you are the wife and daughter-in-law of that family."

"You're right, but Simon and I have been married for almost seven years and next week is our anniversary. But until now his family still can't accept me. I don't know where else I went wrong, I really don't understand."

"I think that's too naive, Nina! You just don't want to open up and mingle with your husband's family. If you'd tried harder, you would have been accepted."

"Should I try harder? I'm not sure."

"That's where you're wrong. You give up too easily and are so pessimistic. But it's up to you. Your husband is very handsome and rich, and there are so many women after him. I think his social media is full of flirtatious messages from women. You need to be more careful if you don't want to lose your husband."

Veronica walked away after giving me an ultimatum that hit me hard in the heart. Losing Simon? I never imagined the day I would lose my husband, the man who once adored me body and soul, who treated me like a goddess on earth.

The day we got to know each other and grew as one soul, loving each other. The sweet smile I saw that day brought me to a turning point that made me believe I could stay.

The days I lived before he came into my life felt so crazy and wild. I always thought that was the life I was meant to live, free, wild, and so alive.

But now I feel shackled and unwanted, as if the days when men adored me never existed.

***

Toronto, Canada

June 25, 2017

Doctor John Evans Neurology Clinic

"Thanks for last night, Nina!" Doctor John whispered in my ear. I tried to remain calm even as I saw the money being deposited into my personal account.

Doctor John smiled, trying to tease me once more. But this afternoon he had to see a patient.

"You're welcome, Doctor! But this is too much, what if your wife finds out?"

"She won't know, you don't have to worry! Besides-" He said, pulling my hand closer to him.

"Besides that?" I asked seductively. His hands began to roam my body.

"You're so beautiful, Nina! Your body is so beautiful too. Your big boobs and butt are my favorite!" He said as he unbuttoned two buttons on my uniform.

He began to squeeze my breasts, which were still covered by my black bra. His hands pulled them out of the bra, exposing my nipples.

"Uh..." I moaned softly as his mouth began to suck on my nipples, while his other hand tried to get into my underwear.

"You drive men crazy with your body, Nina!"

"Including you, Doctor John?"

"Yes, of course! The other day you had a threesome with Doctor Chris and Mr. Edward, right?"

"How do you know?"

"I'm the owner of this clinic, I have access that others don't. How does it feel to be fucked by two big cocks, Nina? Does it feel that good?"

"Yes, it feels very good!"

"How about we do it with Doctor Chris tonight?"

"Where?"

"In my lounge on the fourth floor. Did you forget I have a room there?"

"Is Doctor Chris willing? He looks remorseful and guilty about cheating on his wife!"

"Men need entertainment, Nina! A woman as beautiful and sexy as you is the entertainment every man needs. I'll talk to him, I'm sure he won't refuse. We're going to have some wild, hot sex tonight. I'm sure he won't regret it."

***

"Putting on makeup and wearing sexy clothes again? Do I really have to do that again to make Simon happy?" I thought to myself as I looked at my face in the mirror. It seemed like I hadn't changed much since I decided to draw closer to God and distance myself from the glitz and glamour of the world that had once blinded me.

Money and sex-those two things had always been my beliefs, and they had kept me happy throughout my youth. After I got married, I regularly went to church, prayed, and tried to be a good wife. But apparently, that wasn't enough. Just being a good and faithful wife wasn't enough to make my husband want to spend more time with me.

I opened my closet, which held my old clothes-the ones I wore when I was younger and during the first two years of my marriage to Simon. I even found my old nurse's uniform, so tight that it hugged my curves.

I tried it on again, and it still fit me. I realized that my body shape hadn't changed at all, it was the same as before. When I looked in the mirror, I was amazed at myself.

"Is this really me? Did I look like this before?" I thought to myself. It was strange, I felt uncomfortable wearing it. It had been five years since I last wore revealing, sexy clothes, and somehow it felt uncomfortable.

"What are you doing?" Asked Simon, completely unaware of him entering the room filled with wardrobes.

"Honey? When did you get home?" I asked, surprised, and immediately covered myself with a towel.

Simon frowned, staring at me with a curious expression because I suddenly covered myself as if he were a stranger.

"I called you several times, but you didn't answer. What are you doing? Trying on your old work uniform, hmm?" He asked, stepping toward me.

Simon stood right in front of me, smiling mischievously as he urged me to show him my new look.

"Honey, I-"

"Wow...you're so sexy! How long has it been since you've worn clothes like this?"

"Maybe it's been five years or-"

"Yes, five years. Imagine five years of dressing like a pious middle-aged woman without makeup. You're still young and beautiful, my dear! Dress up and wear your sexy clothes again like when we first started dating!"

"What kind of flashy makeup? Look at you now, you're completely bare!"

"But you said I'm beautiful even without makeup, right?"

"You're very beautiful, Nina! But at least dress up a little and wear more colorful and revealing clothes! What's wrong with doing that to please your husband!"

I was speechless, not knowing what to say to him. I repented and left my past self behind so that karma wouldn't come to me. I believed that if I tried to improve myself, I wouldn't receive bad karma for my mistakes.

"Simon, I-"

"Tch, I know what you're going to say, Nina! Go ahead and pray at church as much as you want! You've even decorated our house with crucifixes and statues of the Virgin Mary. Do whatever you want, but don't blame me if one day I'm tempted by another woman and leave you!"

Simon gave me an ultimatum that felt like a slap in the face. I couldn't understand how he could say such cruel things. I try to be a good wife, is that still not enough?

"Honey, I-"

"Come on, make me coffee! You annoy me every day!"

Simon left in annoyance. I'd been making him mad since morning. I truly was a useless wife. I couldn't even give him a child, and I couldn't even make him smile. Am I receiving karma? Will I still get it even if I've repented and become a better person?

I changed my clothes and headed to the kitchen to make Simon a cup of coffee. I saw Simon's phone on the dining table while he was taking a shower.

I'm not the type of wife who checks my husband's phone, and I almost never check it. My faith in him is still as strong as it was when we first fell in love. But his words bothered me. Could my husband be tempted by another woman? Could I be experiencing what those women experienced when their husbands and their lovers had sex with me?

I reached for Simon's phone, which was lying on the table. It rang. It was an incoming call from Erika Gonzales, my husband's client, whom he called his "most generous."

I decided to answer the incoming call with a strange feeling and a question in my head: What business would he have calling my husband so late at night? It was almost 10 PM, and I didn't think any professional job would warrant contacting a client so late at night.

"Simon, could you come back to my apartment? My anus is sore from using it without lubrication, so-"

"I'm Simon's wife," I said, my breath coming out of my chest. My world was about to collapse, and I was sure I hadn't heard correctly, he'd said something appropriate.

"What's wrong? Who's calling?" Simon asked. He looked at me with a strange reaction because I was talking to someone on his phone.

I was speechless, tears welling up in my eyes. God, please, tell me what I just heard wasn't karma.

***

Seeing me speechless, Simon immediately snatched his phone from my hand. He looked even angrier than before, as if I had crossed a line I shouldn't have crossed.

"Hello?"

"Simon, was your wife the one who answered my call? What now?"

"Calm down, it's okay! I'll be right there, just wait!" He said, ending the call.

I stood there, waiting for his explanation, my heart almost stopping. Simon glanced at me with a look of anger in his eyes. I didn't understand why he was so angry with me? What had I done wrong to make him so cold?

"Didn't I tell you never to touch my phone, let alone answer it!"

"What's wrong with a wife holding her husband's phone? What did I do wrong?"

"You're making me sicker by the day!"

"You're in a relationship with her? You're in a relationship with Erika Gonzales, aren't you...?" I shouted, filled with emotion, hoping he'd give me an explanation that would make me feel better.

"Are you accusing me of cheating?"

"It's true, you bastard...! Do you think I'm stupid? You went to her apartment to have sex with her, didn't you...?"

"Don't yell at me, you bastard...!"

A hard slap hit me in the face, making me fall to the ground. The slap made me accidentally bite my lip, causing it to bleed.

"Blood?" I muttered. Blood dripped onto the floor, and the pain worsened. I turned to Simon, hoping he'd regret it, apologize, and help me immediately. But instead, I was ignored.

He hurried away, leaving me wounded. I stood up and tried to chase after him. No matter how much it hurt, I didn't want him to see that woman again.

"Simon, wait...! Please don't go!" I said, pulling at his hand. I promised I'd forgive him as long as he stayed.

"Let go of me, I have to go now!"

"Take me to the hospital, please!"

"You're a nurse, you can treat yourself! Erika is in pain, she needs me!"

"I need you more, Simon! I'm your wife...!"

"Let go of my hand, don't you hear? Don't you see what you look like now? Go to church and become a nun, because no man will ever be interested in a boring woman like you again...!"

Simon slapped my hand away and left after shouting at me. I froze on the cold, empty floor of our house. Did I still have the right to cry? Was I allowed to cry? A woman like me, did I still deserve happiness?

***

"Nina, what happened to your lip?" Rachel asked when she saw my face. I smiled weakly and tried to look okay.

David approached me after hearing Rachel's words. The young man stood right in front of me and held my chin to examine my swollen, bruised lip and cheek.

"Did someone hit you?" David asked. He was even more worried about me than my own husband.

"I fell last night," I replied, swatting his hand away. I didn't want to linger, as it would only make them suspicious.

"Really? Your husband didn't hit you, did he?"

"No, David! He couldn't have hit me. My husband isn't a violent man!"

"Okay, then let me treat your wound!"

"That's not necessary, I've already applied the ointment."

"Nina...! Are you here?" Francesca, the head nurse at the clinic, exclaimed.

"Yes, I'm here, Francesca!"

"Okay, can you come to Doctor Pierre's office now? Today we'll have a patient referred for surgery, so this will be his first shift at the clinic. Doctor Hans has assigned you to assist him."

"Me?"

"Yes, considering you're one of the senior nurses and have worked at this clinic before. So Doctor Hans said you're the most skilled and responsive!"

"Wow, Nina, I thought you'd be promoted. You could be an assistant now, right?" Celine teased me.

"How could I possibly be a doctor's assistant? I'm just a nurse."

"By the way, Nina, that new doctor is really handsome. He's so young and incredibly handsome. It turns out not all geniuses are nerdy, huh?"

I responded to Celine's remark with a faint smile, and besides, I didn't have the energy to think about someone's appearance right now. My heart and mind were still in turmoil because Simon hadn't returned until morning. He hadn't even answered my calls or texts.

I walked to the office of Dr. Pierre Alexander, a neurosurgeon who was supposed to start work two weeks ago, but had been delayed until today.

Knock...knock...

"Excuse me, Dr. Pierre!" I said, knocking twice on his office door.

"Please come in!" He replied. I could hear a young man's voice, and as they say, I was a little amazed to see him sitting in his office chair wearing a light blue shirt.

He was a fair-skinned young man, tall and muscular, with dark brown hair and beautiful hazel eyes. He turned to me as I entered and smiled gently.

"Good morning, Nina Meiyer?" He greeted me.

"Yes, Doctor!"

"Nice to meet you. Doctor Hans recommended you to help me with my initial duties." It was unexpected. He was a friendly, smiling young doctor.

"I don't know why I was recommended," I said, trying to smile even though my lips and cheeks were still sore.

"Please sit!"

"Thank you," I said, sitting down in the chair in front of his desk.

He looked at me intently, as if noticing something odd about my face. The cut on my lip and the bruise on my cheek were too obvious to ignore.

"Are you okay? If you're feeling unwell, you can rest, and we can discuss things when you're feeling better."

"I'm fine, there's nothing to worry about!" I said, my voice trembling. My heart felt so fragile, the image of Simon's disgusted face constantly bothering me.

I should have stayed home today, waiting for him and checking for him. I wouldn't be able to work well if my feelings made me feel like I wasn't on the ground.

My tears flowed without me realizing it. I really didn't want to cry in front of someone I'd just met. But I didn't know where to take this pain.

Doctor Pierre rose from his seat and approached me, feeling guilty for confusing him with my behavior. He took my hand and asked me to stand up and look at him.

"I-I'm sorry, Doctor! I-"

Without a word, without warning, he kissed my lips. I was shocked, but my mind felt blank. The suddenness of his kiss actually made me forget my pain.

"Don't cry, Nina! Since when have you become such a weak woman?"

***