1: 1

My fifth year of work, and the family finally moved out of the cramped old place and into a new home more than three times its size.

I'd paid for it, piece by piece — the down payment, the renovation, the furniture. More than a million dollars in all.

Mom had once held my hand and said:

"Veronica Fox, once we move into the big house, I promise I'll keep a bedroom just for you."

But on moving day, I walked through all four bedrooms and couldn't find a bed that was mine.

The master bedroom was Mom and Dad's.

Leila Fox had claimed the south-facing room with the best light.

Harvey Fox's room had a new computer and a whole wall of sneaker shelves.

The last one had been turned into Leila's walk-in closet.

And my luggage was piled on the balcony, next to the washing machine.

I asked Mom, "So where do I sleep?"

She paused, then pointed at the couch in the living room.

"You're busy with work anyway, you're hardly ever home."

"When you do stay a night, the couch is fine, isn't it?"

Dad frowned at me too.

"A family sharing a home, no matter how big, has to make allowances for each other."

"This house is for the whole family. Don't start fighting over rooms the minute you move in."

I looked down at the payment records on my phone, and suddenly I laughed.

So it turned out the big house I'd earned over five years had room for Leila's clothes, Harvey's games, and my parents' pride.

It just didn't have room for me.

That night, I accepted the company's three-year sealed on-site assignment.

If there was no room for me in the new house,

then I'd go somewhere that actually wanted to keep a place for me.

1

After the movers left, the house was full of boxes.

Dad sat in the living room, figuring out the new TV.

Mom helped Leila sort out her jewelry and skincare.

Harvey was busy assembling his new computer.

Only I worked, from afternoon into night.

I made the bed for Mom and Dad.

I filled two whole closets with Leila's clothes.

Then I crouched on the floor and set Harvey's dozens of pairs of sneakers into the display case, one by one.

By the time every room was done, my six boxes were still stacked on the balcony.

Mom glanced at them and said, offhand:

"Don't bother unpacking your stuff."

"There's no place to put it anyway. In a few days we'll find a storage unit for it."

I opened the box on top.

Inside were the certificates I'd earned since starting work, project files, and a desk lamp I'd used for years.

I'd bought that lamp right after graduation.

To save a little more toward the house, I'd rented the cheapest partitioned room I could find.

It had no window, so I kept the light on even during the day.

Late into so many nights, it was under that lamp that I worked overtime, studied for exams, drew up plans.

I used to think that once the family had a big house, I'd finally have a real desk of my own.

But now Harvey's gaming desk ran six feet long.

Leila's closet had an island counter that existed only to hold jewelry.

And my desk lamp didn't even have a corner with an outlet to plug into.

Leila poked her head out of the closet.

"Veronica, I've got a few more boxes of clothes over there. Can you bring them for me?"

"I'm on shift tomorrow, I have to get everything sorted tonight."

I didn't say no.

As I carried the last box, the bottom split open.

A perfume bottle inside shattered on the floor, and the glass cut the back of my hand.

Leila cried out, but the first thing she did was crouch down to check the perfume bottle.

"That's a limited edition. You can't even buy it anymore."

Mom hurried over at the sound, saw the shards all over the floor, and her face darkened at once.

"I ask you to carry a few things and you manage to break them."

"Your sister has work tomorrow. Couldn't you make things a little easier on her?"

Blood dripped from my fingertips.

No one asked if it hurt.

Mom only handed me a rag.

"Wipe it up, quick."

"Don't leave a mark on the new floor."

That evening, Dad suggested a family photo for the housewarming.

Mom and Dad sat in the middle of the couch.

Leila and Harvey settled in on either side of them.

Dad handed me his phone.

"Veronica, you're the best at photos. Make us look good."

I stood outside the frame and pressed the shutter.

In the picture, the four of them looked wonderfully happy.

Mom posted it to her feed right away.

【At last, our family has moved into the home we always dreamed of.】

The comments were all congratulations.

No one asked why the daughter who'd paid the most wasn't in the photo.

After the picture, Mom spread a thin blanket on the couch.

"You sleep here tonight."

"Harvey has class in the morning, so keep it down when you sleep. Don't disturb him."

At one in the morning, Harvey was still in the living room gaming with his friends.

I curled up at the very edge of the couch and waited until he shut the game off before I finally fell asleep.

Before dawn, Leila was up again looking for clothes.

She switched on the living room ceiling light, saw me still on the couch, and frowned.

"You sleeping out here makes it a hassle for everyone getting up at night."

I stared at the ceiling, and only after a long while did I answer quietly:

"Just a few more days."

She didn't understand.

I didn't explain.

Because seven days from now, I'd be gone.

2: 2

2

The day after they moved into the new house, Mom threw a housewarming party.

She invited more than twenty relatives and friends.

With every room she showed off, her face glowed with pride.

"This is Leila's room. Her job wears her out, so she should be comfortable."

"This one's Harvey's. He's still in school, and he needs space to study and to rest."

When they reached the walk-in closet, Leila gave an embarrassed little laugh.

"I told them not to bother, but Mom and Dad insisted on doing it for me."

One after another, the relatives said how lucky she was.

Someone finally remembered me.

"Where's Veronica's room?"

Mom's smile froze for a second, then smoothed right back over.

"Her company has dorms, and she hardly ever comes home anyway."

"When you're young, your career comes first. Keeping a room for her here would just be a waste."

The relatives nodded along.

"Veronica's always been so sensible."

"She knows how to take the pressure off the family."

I stood outside the door holding a plate of fruit, and didn't go in.

They didn't know.

That dorm room at the company was just a temporary break room, shared on rotation by four people.

Every month I wired fifteen thousand home, while I kept living in a rented place of twelve square meters.

I'd told myself that if I just toughed it out a few more years, I could come back to a home that was really mine.

So it turned out that what they called sensible meant I wasn't allowed to complain when I paid, and I wasn't allowed to make a sound when the rooms were handed out.

Dinner filled the whole table.

Steamed fish, buttered shrimp, seafood chowder — every dish Leila loved.

I'd been allergic to seafood since I was little.

Mom still didn't remember.

She dropped a shrimp into my bowl.

"There are a lot of guests today. Don't just sit there in a daze, go help look after them."

I put the shrimp back on the dish.

Leila lowered her voice right away and explained, "Veronica's allergic to seafood."

Mom paused.

"You still haven't grown out of that after all these years?"

"Then just eat some vegetables. Don't go making a separate meal for yourself, it looks bad in front of the guests."

The housewarming party dragged on until eleven at night.

After the relatives left, the whole place was strewn with bottles, bones, and used napkins.

Dad was drunk, Leila had a shift the next day, and Harvey said he had studying to do.

So the cleaning ended up being my job again.

As I bent over to mop the floor, my empty stomach cramped in waves.

Mom carried a plate of leftovers out of the kitchen.

"There's still some shrimp. Heat it up and eat it, don't waste it."

I didn't take it.

Her face dropped at once.

"Bought a big house, and now you've got a big temper to match?"

"Don't forget, this house is for the whole family. It isn't just yours."

The line struck me as funny all of a sudden.

Because when it came to spending the money, they called it the whole family's house.

But when it came to handing out rooms, not one of them thought of me as family.

Back by the couch, I saw that my box had been shoved to the very back of the balcony again.

On top of it sat the wedding candy for Leila's engagement and Harvey's old sneakers.

That was when my phone buzzed.

A message from the department director.

【The Western Region flagship project still needs a long-term on-site lead.】

【Three years sealed on-site, hard conditions, but the department provides a private dorm room.】

【You always hated leaving home before. Would you still consider it now?】

I looked up at the four closed doors.

A long while later, I replied:

【I'll go.】

3: 3

3

Three days before I was set to leave.

When I got home from work, six black trash bags were piled up outside the new place.

One of them wasn't tied off all the way.

A notebook I recognized was sticking out of the top.

I bent down and pulled it free, and only then realized every bag was stuffed with my things.

College textbooks, award certificates, books my teachers had given me, and the little cloth pouch my grandmother had sewn for me before she died.

All of it crammed in together.

Plenty of the pages were already creased.

I pushed the door open.

Mom was directing the workers to clear out my boxes from the balcony.

"Why is all my stuff out there?"

She didn't even turn her head.

"Your sister's getting engaged."

"His family's coming in three days. The new place has to look decent."

"Those old books and notebooks are just sitting there useless anyway, so we might as well get rid of them all at once."

I stayed where I was.

"Those are my things."

Dad frowned at me.

"You work away from home. What do you need to keep so much stuff here taking up space for?"

"Leila's got a lot to get ready for the wedding. Of course the balcony goes to her dowry first."

My sister, Leila Fox, came out of her room carrying a set of jewelry she'd just bought.

She saw the trash bags out in the hall, and guilt washed over her face at once.

"Veronica, don't blame Mom and Dad."

"How about I move your things back into my room? It'll be a little tight, but that's okay."

Mom cut in immediately.

"You're about to get married. How could you put up with something like that?"

She turned to look at me.

"Veronica's been able to rough it since she was little. Her stuff can just as well go in storage."

I didn't argue anymore.

I just went out into the hall and dug through the trash bags one by one.

The file envelope I needed to report for my assignment was gone.

Inside were a copy of my diploma, my medical report, and the onboarding paperwork stamped by my employer.

If even one piece was missing, I might not be able to report on time.

I asked Mom, "Where's the manila envelope from my desk drawer?"

She thought about it for a long time.

"What envelope?"

My brother, Harvey Fox, sat on the couch playing a game, not looking up.

"You mean the one with a bunch of papers in it?"

"I took that to sell as scrap this afternoon."

My head snapped toward him.

"Where did you sell it?"

My tone startled him, but he got righteous again fast.

"The recycling depot by the back gate."

"It was all wastepaper anyway. I even got thirty-six bucks for it."

By the time I ran downstairs, it had started raining again.

The depot owner was loading bundled cardboard onto a truck.

I didn't care about the dirty water all over the ground. I knelt in the pile of scrap paper and dug through it.

The edge of a box sliced open the back of my hand.

Broken glass drove into my palm.

Blood mixed with rain, dripping one drop at a time onto the pulped, waterlogged pages.

I don't know how long I searched, but I finally found the file envelope at the very bottom.

The seal had already split open.

One corner of the medical report was wet, and the water had blurred the spot where my employer's stamp had been.

I ran back home clutching it.

But the living room was already filled with things for my sister's engagement.

Gold jewelry, a gown, wedding candy.

Mom and Dad stood around Leila, discussing the dowry.

Nobody noticed my hands were covered in blood.

Leila was the first to see the envelope in my arms.

"Veronica, you found it?"

I nodded.

But Mom's face darkened.

"So you found it. Who's this show for?"

"Leila's in-laws are coming tomorrow. You're covered in filth. Don't hang around the living room."

I looked down at my palm, still oozing blood.

And I thought of the year I got into college.

I'd wanted to buy a suitcase that cost two hundred.

But Mom said the family was putting three kids through school at once, so we had to save every dollar.

In the end, she gave me the old case my sister had worn out.

The handle only pulled out halfway.

One of the wheels was missing.

When I dragged it into the college campus, the bottom scraped against the ground with an awful screech.

And now, two brand-new suitcases sat at my sister's feet.

One for the dowry.

One for the honeymoon.

Leila followed my gaze, as if she'd just remembered something.

"Veronica, that white case has gotten dusty."

"Wipe it clean for me in a bit, and don't scuff it. It was expensive."

Dad stood in the middle of the living room, directing the moving company to carry Leila's dowry cabinet onto the balcony.

He pointed at my two remaining boxes.

"Take these away too."

"Don't leave them cluttering up the new place."

I looked at the boxes of my sister's gold jewelry, her gown, her wedding candy.

Then I looked at the reporting documents in my arms, the ones that had almost been sold off as scrap.

And suddenly I found it funny.

That night, I taped the file envelope back together.

Then I took the old suitcase with the broken wheel out of its box.

I didn't wipe down my sister's new case.

I just packed my own clothes into the old one, piece by piece.

Three days from now.

I would move out of this big house I had paid for, for good.