3: 3
Half a month later, we had a visitor.
My father's old army buddy, Arthur James, came in wearing a stiff, ingratiating smile.
"Dennis, you hit the lottery. Congratulations!"
Then his face folded into worry.
"Dennis, my boy got into college. Embry-Riddle. Good school. The acceptance letter's already come."
"Money's tight for me right now. I don't have much put away."
His voice dropped.
"I was going to have him take out student loans, but I don't want him carrying that kind of pressure. He said too, that he'd rather his classmates didn't know. Wouldn't be able to face them."
My father clapped him on the shoulder.
"Kid's grown, wants to save face. I get it."
Arthur fidgeted, looking pained.
"I've got nowhere else to turn but an old comrade. I'll pay you back in installments every month!"
My father thumped his own chest.
"An old comrade needs help, of course I help."
He shot my mother a look, a signal.
My mother didn't hesitate. She picked up her phone and scanned Arthur's payment code.
"Is a hundred thousand enough? Say so if it isn't. A kid's education is a big thing. If we can help, we help."
Arthur's eyes went red. He stood and bowed.
My parents graciously insisted he stay for dinner.
I stood in the kitchen doorway and watched the whole thing.
A hundred thousand, gone with one tap of a thumb.
After Arthur left, I spoke up.
"Dad, Mom. His kid was afraid of the pressure, wanted to save face, and you lent him a hundred thousand."
"So what about me? You made me take out student loans."
My mother's hands went still over the dishes.
"How is that the same thing? Arthur's your father's old army buddy."
The liquor had gone slightly to my father's head.
"Right. An old comrade asks for help, you can't turn him down."
I looked at them both.
"So a daughter counts for less than a comrade. Is that it?"
They choked on it, neither able to answer for a moment.
Then my father slammed the table hard, the reek of alcohol coming off his breath.
"You have any idea how much money you've cost this family? That boy doesn't owe his parents three hundred thousand!"
I gave a bitter little laugh.
"No. Other people's kids don't have to sign IOUs."
A sharp crack.
My father hurled the bottle to the floor.
"Grown some backbone now, have you? You dare talk to us like this?"
"If we didn't pin you down with those IOUs, you good-for-nothing, you'd have spent even more!"
My eyes stung, but I forced it down.
"Other than medical bills, what have I ever wasted?"
"My whole life I've worn Renata's hand-me-downs. At the table I never dared take an extra bite of meat, always afraid I'd owe you more. Compare me to my brother and my sister, tell me where I ever wasted a thing!"
"Getting sick is your own fault!"
My father jabbed a finger at me, his whole face flushed.
"Nobody told you to be born cursed with bad luck!"
Bad luck. Born with it.
I understood him.
Something you're born with. There was no argument to win.
I tried to hold it back, but in the end the tears came anyway.
Toby and Renata just stared at us, neither one saying a word.
It seemed to be the first time they'd ever seen me fight back, and both of their eyes were wide with shock.
My mother knew my father's temper. She grabbed his arm fast.
"Enough, enough. Don't drag up all these old accounts."
She turned to me.
"Apologize to your father, now. You trying to give him a heart attack?"
I said nothing. I turned and walked away.
As I passed Renata, she watched me with a wounded, resentful look.
"Sis, you've changed."
I glanced at her.
She didn't say much more, but the blame was all there in her eyes.
Toby stood a little way off, watching me, his fists clenched tight.
"Maya, this time you really went too far."
I looked at him.
These people who'd fed off me were all bound together now, tight as a coiled rope.
I didn't say a single word. I pushed open my door and locked it behind me.
Inside the suitcase, I'd already packed the few clothes I still had that fit to wear.
I read through the Naval Academy check-in instructions one more time.
The day after tomorrow, I could leave.
This home. I never had to stay in it again.
4: 4
The next morning, the house was all warmth again.
As if my scene the day before had rolled past without leaving a mark.
"Let's get a trip in before the semester starts."
My mother was already making plans.
"Toby, your government posting hasn't come through yet, right? Once you start working you'll be swamped, no time like now."
Toby and Renata both nodded.
"Five days, four nights. We'll get back just in time for you to check in at your dorm."
My mother glanced at me in the corner of the table, eating my plain oatmeal.
"Maya, it's thirty-nine hundred a person. You coming?"
I shook my head.
"I'll pass."
Any other time, no one would have thought twice about it.
After all, in all these years they'd never once taken me on their trips.
But this time Renata was watching me, something complicated in her eyes.
"Maybe we should bring Maya along this time... it's been so long since the whole family went anywhere together."
Toby chimed in.
"Yeah. I can cover half for her."
Mom and Dad glanced at the two of them and said nothing.
I set down my spoon.
"Thanks, but no. You all go ahead."
Another crack.
My father slammed the table.
"Someone offers to cover half and you still won't take it. You really are greedy!"
He looked at me sideways, like I was an enemy.
Renata spoke up in a small voice.
"I'll cover the other half for her too."
My father jabbed a finger at her.
"You see that? The whole family is bending over backward for you, and your sister has a hundred times more sense than you do!"
I kept shaking my head.
Tomorrow I was leaving to check in.
But of course I wasn't going to tell them.
"I have to work. It wasn't easy finding someone willing to take me on part-time. If I take time off, all that work is for nothing."
My mother's brow furrowed.
"It's almost semester time anyway. What difference does one week make? It's barely any money."
I looked at her steadily.
"Sixty a day, four-twenty for the week. Just enough for a used phone."
Toby and Renata both glanced down at the phone in my hand.
It was my mother's cast-off.
When she gave it to me, I'd signed an IOU for three hundred.
Three years of use later, the screen was cracked, and it took six or seven minutes just to turn on.
Renata pulled her old phone out of her bag.
"Maya, my old one still works. You can have it... no charge."
I looked at her and gave a small shake of my head.
"You've got sense, so I have to have some too. I don't dare take anything from this family for free."
Slap.
Another sharp sound.
This time it didn't land on the table. It landed on my face.
The blow knocked my head to the side.
My father's face was livid.
"How long are you going to keep up this attitude? Ever since we won the lottery you've been like this, this ugly, sulking thing!"
"I always knew it. You're an ungrateful animal we could never tame. The second there's money around you don't know your own family!"
My mother grabbed his hand quickly.
"Talk it out, don't hit her!"
He threw her hand off and left the table.
"If she wants to go, she pays her own way. Nobody's to spoil her!"
He went out to the balcony to smoke.
My mother glared at me.
"A perfectly good family trip, and you've killed the mood for everyone!"
I met her eyes.
"I always kill the mood, don't I?"
"You—!"
My mother's temper flared too, but she didn't raise a hand.
Renata jumped up, flustered, and gripped my mother's hand.
"Enough, enough, Mom, don't be angry."
She turned to me and dropped her voice.
"Maya, I'll cover it for you. Just don't tell Dad."
Then she headed toward my room.
"I'll help you pack. This time we're not leaving anyone out."
It hit me then.
My suitcase was open, my clothes and documents already packed inside.
"Don't touch my things!"
I ran to stop her.
Renata's hand was already on the suitcase, the zipper still undone.
"Maya, let me help you sort it out..."
She flipped the lid open.
"Don't!"
I lunged to stop her, but I wasn't fast enough.
A red college acceptance letter slid out through the gap in the zipper.
