Books 1 and 2

In a world where it is almost impossible to find a fated mate and hard to reject them, Tamia finds herself in a bind when her husband suddenly finds his fated mate. From the loved and wanted wife, she faded into the shadows of his heart. The heartbreak is intense, yet she can't let go because of the ties that bind them, but she knows only true freedom can bring her peace. So when an opportunity to escape her husband's pack presents itself by virtue of sacrifice, she takes it and does not look back.

Fate might have decided to rob her of her joy, her home and her happy ending, but Tamia takes destiny into her hands and decides to create her own fate with the Dark Alpha.

*Warning the Lakhs in this book is fictitious and not the same as any currency or item that maybe spelt or sound the same. All characters, names personalities, location and descriptions are also fictitious and made up. Thank you*

~Tamia~

I will not forget the evening my heavenly life turned to hell. I cannot forget the moment my life changed.

My husband, Leo, and I, were at the ball. I did not want to attend, but Leo's friend and beta was the host, and Leo wanted to honour his invitation at all costs.

I should have pleaded with him to stay at home, but I wanted to be a supportive wife, so I followed him, which was my biggest mistake.

Leonardo Albert was my husband and the alpha of the Mountain pack, making me Tamia Albert, the pack's Luna.

Leonardo chose me when I was nineteen to be his Luna.

We started courting when I was seventeen, and he was twenty-one. He never touched me because I wasn't of age, but we fell in love nonetheless and vowed to remain together.

Many women in the pack hated me because Leo only had eyes for me. I wasn't the most beautiful. In fact, I wasn't half as pretty as the others, but he saw me, and he loved me.

He loved my green eyes. Leo called me his emerald queen, and that boosted my confidence. He never wanted me to dress provocatively or wear make-up, and I just went along.

Leo claimed me the year he ascended as the pack's alpha. His parents had decided to leave the position for him and travel, which was what all alphas did once they handed over to their successors.

I wore my luna shoes proudly and performed my duties. I was a trained warrior, so the pack was always in good hands when Leo left our territory on missions.

We had been happily married for five years. I was now twenty-four years old while Leo was twenty-seven.

I loved him so much, and he loved me too. There was no question. Nothing and no one could ever come between us, or so I thought, until the dinner party when my life turned upside down.

We were sitting at a table reserved for us when Leo turned around and saw her. She had long, dark straight hair, blue eyes, full red lips, beautiful tanned skin and an hourglass body. Perfect proportions compared to my pear-shaped body.

"Leo, Leo," I gently called my mate, but he did not respond. His eyes stayed fixed on her. The beautiful woman in the midnight blue velvet gown. I gently touched his hand, and he shook slightly as if in a trance.

"Tamia," He said, trying to calm himself, and I smiled at him.

"We should go home, dear; I do not feel well," I lied, trying to get us out of there, but his eyes had wandered back to her, and she was looking at him now.

She also looked enthralled in his gaze, and they seemed lost in each other's eyes. I did not know when my heart began to palpitate.

I did not want to believe it, but I knew what had just happened. My husband had found his fated mate, and she was not me.

"Leo, let's go home," I said, sounding slightly stern with a tinge of fear. A fear I could not mask.

Just then, His beta, Casper, walked to us. He was the host and Leonardo's best friend.

"Alpha Leo, I hope you and Luna Tamia are enjoying yourselves?" He asked, and I pulled Leo's hand so Casper would not notice he was staring at someone.

"Casper," Leo said, looking at his friend and nodding.

"Who is that lady?" Leo asked, sounding curious.

Casper looked at me because what Leo had just done was disrespectful.

I swallowed and looked away. I did not know what to say. He hadn't done anything, but I knew he might.

"She is Alpha Ramzey's daughter of the Whitewood pack. She just returned home from studying overseas. Her name is Amanda Richford." Casper said, and Leo nodded, repeating her name.

Casper looked uncomfortable and decided to excuse himself. I smiled and let him go.

I remained silent and did not say a word. There was nothing to say. I just had to wait to see how it would all play out.

I doubted Leo would throw away five years of our lives together, and besides, we had claimed each other. Fated or not, we were full mates. Rejecting me and our bond would weaken his wolf, so I knew he would not want to do that.

I also knew he would not reject her for the same reason. Every alpha valued their strength and feared situations that would make them weak. If he was an ordinary pack member, I would have had the power and right to reject him and walk away, but he was alpha.

I drank some wine and tried to pretend it didn't bother me.

"Excuse me, Tamia," Leo said, standing up, and I did not bother to ask him where he was going. I knew he was going to talk to her. I saw her walk to the balcony, and he followed behind her.

I had the urge to follow them so I could listen to their conversation, but tears were already streaming down my face. I was too afraid to know what he was discussing with the woman. So I stayed in my seat and drank some wine.

Leo did not return to sit with me. After sitting by myself for an hour, I decided to go home.

Using the car was not an option. Kaira, my wolf, was in pain, so as soon as I walked far enough, I shifted and decided to run home.

"What will we do, Tamia? He is ours. He claimed us, and we claimed him," My wolf cried, and I did not know what to tell her because I was equally in pain.

The trauma was much, and I could not believe what had happened to me. I should have prepared myself for this, but he promised.

He assured me, yet he betrayed me.

Images of both of them reeled through my mind, and I cried. I cried so much and howled. I did not want to go home.

I wished somehow I would run into my fated, too, and he would make the pain disappear, but I knew it wouldn't happen. I was stuck with Leo, and he was stuck with me until he rejects me, which I knew he wouldn't.

I knew he wouldn't want to let me go because I balanced his strength. From the way Amanda looked, she wasn't luna material, but she was a beautiful and educated daughter of an Alpha. Maybe an Alpha breed herself. Compared to my delta genes, she was premium stuff. I knew I did not stand a chance. Leo would make me share. Just like other alphas in his shoes.

Leo and I had built the pack together and expanded our lands, fighting side by side for five years now. If he decides to reject me for her sake, I will walk away with nothing because I wasn't an alpha.

I did not know how it would play out, but I did not see a happy ending for me.

While running, Kaira and I felt a sharp pain in our hearts, and I did not need to guess what was happening.

Leo and I were tied together through our claim, so I will feel the pain if he touches anyone intimately.

I had seen women with cheating spouses experience this; I had counselled them as their Luna. Who will counsel me through this and help me survive this? I had no family. I and no true friend. Leo was my only true friend. How will I deal?

"Damn you, Leo, Damn you!" I cried while Kaira howled at the crescent moon in the sky.

Why did fate have to deal us such a shitty card?

I ran deep into the woods and cried. I stayed there a while before heading home.

I entered our home naked, and Leo was on the couch with a drink in his hand; he looked at me and knew I knew.

"Tamia," He said, and I shook my head in anger.

"How could you, Leo? You promised. You said if it ever happens, you will reject her. You said I was enough. You promised me," I said.

That was why I trained so hard as a warrior and fought by his side. If his wolf is weakened, I will balance his strength.

He was silent. There was nothing he could say to defend himself.

I left him in the living room and went to take a hot shower.

I sat under it for over an hour until the water went cold before going to bed.

I tossed and turned all through the night. I did not know what to do.

Rejection wasn't an option. We were tied together. I could not just walk away from everything I spent time, blood, sweat and tears to build for five years.

We are at the top in our region because of our effort together.

How could I walk away from that? Even if I decided to start over again, no pack would take me in if I left him. I was doomed. I had no choice but to make this work, but how could I when he wasn't even trying?

"Tamia," Leo said and lay next to me in bed.

" I am sorry, Tamia. I really am, but I will need time to decide," he said. His words cut me so deep that I would have stabbed him if I could. I would have buried a silver knife in his heart.

"Time?" I said, sitting up. "How dare you to ask me for time, Leo? You promised. You claimed me. What the fuck do you want me to do. You know I can't leave, I can't join another pack, and no one would want to be with a wolf that has already been claimed and mated. What about me, Leo? What about my life, my love, and my happiness? Where does that leave me? Where?" I yelled at him, on the verge of tears.

He sat up and tried to hold me, but I moved away from him. I was angry and disgusted. I was mad.

"Please give me time; you are my wife and Luna. Nothing would change it, not even a fated mate. Please, I just need time. I just have to know what to do. The pull is strong. I wanted to risk the pain and reject her, Tamia, but I wanted her more. I can't explain it to you, and I do not expect you to understand but please, Tamia, give me time," He pleaded.

"And what should I do when you are fucking her?" I asked him with anger and contempt in my voice.

"I won't touch her," he said, and I laughed painfully.

"But you did. You did. You touched her tonight, and I felt every bit of it." I said, and he was quiet. I did not need a fortune teller to know how this would go. I was definitely at the losing end.

~Leo~

Tamia was my life, my love. There was nothing that I wouldn't do for her. I loved her with all my heart. When I promised to mate with her, I meant it.

She was perfect for me. She was beautiful inside and out and had the strength a luna should possess. I loved her qualities too. I could not let her slip away.

I had had a crush on her for a while, and when the opportunity to court her presented itself, I took it and never looked back.

We had been married for five years. I loved her immensely.

My love was so strong that I believed it would be easy to reject my fated mate if I ever found her. She promised to do the same.

I never knew that I would cowardly break that promise.

Tamia did not want to go to Casper's dinner party. I should have listened and cancelled, but I went, which was the beginning of my downfall.

Her scent caught me off guard and drew me to her like a magnet.

Mint and apples, sweet and delicious.

I was enthralled by her, and she did the same. I turned towards her, and she was all that existed.

I felt my love and affection for Tamia disappear immediately. I fought to hold on to it, but the pull of the bond was so strong.

"Mate," She linked me, and I responded.

Amanda was her name, and she was my doom.

I had to touch her and see her. So she asked us to talk on the balcony. I reluctantly went.

The moment I got there, I was trapped. I wanted to reject her, but my mouth couldn't form the word; my wolf, Black, could not do it. We wanted her, all of her, and to keep her.

"Good evening, Alpha Leo," she said, and I swallowed.

She did her homework. I was surprised at her, and instead of maintaining a stoic face, I smiled warmly, and she fell into my embrace.

"Mate," I heard myself saying the words effortlessly, and everything else faded away.

Amanda told me about herself. She was a medical doctor, and she was smart and intelligent, too. Luna material, but she could never be my Luna because Tamia and I were already united.

"I have to reject you, Amanda," I said, her eyes welling up with tears.

"Alpha Leo, please," she pleaded and buried her head in my chest.

Soon we began to kiss, and I hoisted her up, ready to take her, but I fought my wolf and my desires and let her down.

I knew my actions would hurt Tamia, which was the last thing I wanted to do. I did not want to hurt my wife.

"Please, alpha, I can be your mistress. Don't let me go; dont reject me. Please, you need me; I need you," She cried and honestly, she did not do anything to me. I should have waited, but how was I supposed to know I would find my mate? It was rare.

This was a miracle and a cruel one.

How will I handle this? Keeping her as my mistress was not a problem, but I would have to inform Tamia first. If I don't reject her, I have to accept her, but will Tamia accept her too?

I know what I thought was cruel, but fate was cruel to all of us either way. Cruel to Amanda by tying her to a married man, cruel to Tamia by connecting her to me before letting me find my fated mate, and cruel to me by putting me in a position where I might have to break all my promises and be the villain in what was supposed to be my love story.

I left Amanda on the balcony without a word and headed out.

I got back to my table and learned that Tamia had left. When I got home and she wasn't there, I realised she had figured it out.

If she had doubts initially, my make-out session with Amanda would have made her realise it.

I hated myself. I hated fate for what it did to me. I did not know who to discuss this with. If I told my father, he would ask me to make Amanda my luna to make me stronger and have strong pups with her alpha genes. If I rejected her, I would lose some of my power, making me unfit to rule. But thinking of the pain innocent Tamia would endure every time I touched Amanda, put me in a serious dilemma.

What I did not understand was why now. Why this, and why me? As the strongest alpha in my region, I could not afford to lose my power, but I loved my wife. I loved her dearly that subjecting her to pain was out of the question. I needed time to think about it.

I sat on the couch in my dark living room, pondering over the matter, with a drink in my hand. I wondered where Tamia could have gone.

While thinking of her, she walked into the house, naked and broken.

I wanted to go to her, but she radiated anger, so I gave her space.

"How could you, Leo? You promised. You said if it ever happens, you will reject her. You said I was enough. You promised me." She growled.

I remained silent. There was nothing I could say to defend myself.

I had fucked up, and I couldn't guarantee there would not be another. When I had promised to reject my fated mate, I had only said that because I knew I wouldn't find her based on statistics.

I wondered what fate was playing by this.

I returned to the room later and realised that Tamia was wide awake. How could she sleep? I did not expect her to be asleep. She was in pain, and she was afraid she would lose me.

Letting her go would not be easy.

I promised to always be with her, love and cherish her, and I will be a bastard by breaking those promises.

If I rejected her, it would weaken my wolf; no pack would take her, and because I was the alpha, she won't be able to remain in the pack. I would never do anything that would make Tamia homeless or a rogue.

If the pack found out about Amanda, they would ask me to push Tamia aside and allow Amanda to be Luna because mating with Amanda would make me stronger and bless my pack. I was in a serious dilemma.

I prayed the pack members would not find out and force my hand. As much as I love Tamia, as alpha, my duty to the pack comes first.

I got into bed and tried to talk to her about it, but she was too hurt for us to have a peaceful discussion, so I became silent and did not aggravate her more than I had.

I woke up in the morning to Casper in my head.

"Alpha, is it true Amanda is your fated mate?" he asked with a lot of concern, and I wondered how he found out. I doubted Tamia would tell him because she knew if word got out, the pack would side with Amanda against her because of the benefits my union with Amanda would bring.

"Who told you? Please, no one should know." I pleaded with him, and he was silent.

"You ripped her dress on the balcony. Everyone discussed that at the party after you left; they are all rejoicing." He said the things I dreaded to hear, and tears streamed down my eyes in right then, because I knew what would ensue.

I called Alpha Kyle, a friend of mine who was in the same predicament, and he congratulated me. He advised me to claim Amanda so Tamia wouldn't feel the pain.

I thanked him, but I wasn't planning on taking his advice. I planned on ignoring the bond and continuing my life with Tamia until I could gather the strength I needed to reject Amanda.

~Tamia~

I went on a run in the morning, and when I returned, the people looked at me strangely.

I did not need magic to know that news of the Alpha finding his fated had travelled.

Leo did not try to hide the attraction between him and Amanda. I wonder if the pack members were happy that their Alpha would be stronger now that he had found his fated mate.

I wondered if they were concerned for me, for the pain I would endure, which might drive me insane eventually.

I honestly wondered whose side they would be on.

I jogged past the pack members and returned to my house.

Leo was having breakfast. I had not spoken to him and did not plan to, because I had nothing to say.

I went to the bedroom to shower and dress up for the day; we had a meeting to attend together.

As much as I would rather sit it out, I had promised Luna Avery I would be there.

She was the closest I had to a friend, and I suspected my life would be like hers soon.

Avery's husband, Alpha Max, found his fate three years ago, and they have lived together ever since.

Although she had never opened up to me about what was happening in her home, I knew she was broken. He always attended parties with his fated and left Avery on her own.

She had found a way to cope. She was faring better than Linda, who was in the same shoes as Avery, but I dreaded I would be able to manage.

I showered in a hurry. For the first time, I did not spend time in the mirror in the toilet to dry my hair.

I did not feel like making an effort.

Even though Leo did not like make-up and revealing clothes, I tried to look nice under those circumstances, but I wasn't feeling like it anymore. Amanda was pretty. There was no way I could compete with her because they were fated.

She could be the most unattractive being on earth, and he would still want her. Fated love was fucked up that way.

The moment I walked into the room after taking my shower, I saw Leo sitting on the couch. I ignored him and went to look for something simple to wear in the closet.

He came to me and wrapped his arms around me, then kissed his mark on my neck. I pushed him off me.

"Don't touch me after what you did last night," I said through gritted teeth. I was mad.

He had utterly embarrassed me and showed zero self-control.

"We did not go all the way, Tamia. I broke it. I held back. As much as my body and wolf wanted to, I held back," He said.

"Held back, as in you didn't put your cock in her, but you did everything else," I said, explaining his meaning of holding back, and he was silent.

"Get dressed. We have a meeting to attend," I told him, and he held onto me.

"It has been shifted to this evening. Please let me apologise to you, Tamia. I am sorry," He said, and I smiled and looked at him.

"Do not use that word carelessly, Leo. Sorry means you won't do it again, and I know you will, so don't bother," I told him, and he held me tighter. I could feel his frustration.

"Please, Tamia. This isn't easy on me, either. " He said with tears welling up in his eyes, "I felt like a fool last night. I was ashamed. People looked at me with disgust, and I couldn't blame them. I left my luna alone and went to make out with a stranger, just because fate willed it. I did not have the intention of touching her. I wanted to tell her it wouldn't work. I wanted to risk being weak and reject her. Yes, it will cost me a lot, but I will still have you. I was okay with you being my strength, Tamia, but I couldn't. I couldn't do it, and I still can't. I woke up this morning thinking I would go to the Whitewood pack and reject her, but I can't. I cannot explain why because the feeling is alien to me, but I can't, Tamia. Please help me out." He said and went to his knees and hugged my legs while he wept.

"I don't know what to do, my love. I am confused. We should have just stayed home as you insisted, but I had to honour Casper's invite," he said and continued to weep.

For the years I had known Leo, I had never seen him cry or show this amount of vulnerability and weakness. He was perplexed. Fate had messed up our lives.

Against my better judgment, I ran my finger's through his hair to calm him down, but I doubted my touch would ever be enough again. He looked up at me and stood up. He held me to his chest.

"I will find a way, Tamia. I will fight it. I will stay away from her. Please, Tamia," he said, making promises that I knew he wouldn't be able to keep. I hugged him, knowing my blissful life with him was over.

Like the stories of other lunas this had happened to, I had to find a way to make it work. I have to prepare my mind to share him with her. There was no way his wolf would want to stay away or reject her.

As willing as I was to try, I could never let him touch me again because I knew he would do it out of duty and not love. In that case, I would rather be without his touch than for him to touch me out of pity.

"Do not give up on me, Tamia, please," He pleaded with me sensing my resolve.

"How can I when fate has already given up on us?" I said, looking at him.

"I won't make you share like the other Alphas, Tamia. I will fight it," he said, and I nodded.

Of course, I did not believe him, but I could not dispute the fact that he meant what he was saying.

We attended the security meeting in the evening, and I dreaded having discussions with the lunas in attendance.

The news had travelled by now that Leo was fated to Amanda, and they had hooked up.

Before the meeting, I heard pack members gossip about people seeing Leo with Amanda on the balcony making out.

I heard he tore the top of her dress. There was no way to hide an incident, especially when the woman had to leave the balcony looking ravaged.

"How are you handling it, Tamia?" luna Linda of the Brent Pack asked me, and I shook my head.

She was in the same predicament as Avery. She was living with her husband and his fated. Her husband, Kyle, refused to reject his fated because he knew it would weaken his wolf. He made Linda agree to it, and she has been a miserable drunk ever since.

"You need to be brave, Tamia. It won't get better. My bed went cold two years ago. Now they have pups, and it is almost as if I am not in the picture. This is all I am ever good for, meetings," She said and took a huge gulp of her wine.

"Sometimes I wished he was an ordinary pack member, not an Alpha. I would reject him and move on, but unfortunately for us, they have to reject us or someone stronger challenge them for our hand. Either way, we are fucked. They fear the weakness that comes with the rejection, so they won't do it, and since we are used goods, no one would deem us worthy of fighting for." She said, spelling out a truth I had known for a while.

"How do you manage?" I asked her, and she laughed.

"He claimed his fate, so neither of us feels pain when they are together again. I just make myself happy with flings and affairs. No one ever really sticks around, and even though they claim to love me, they never try to challenge the Alpha. So I just enjoy the affair and move on," She said and drank more wine.

"Does he know?" I asked, and she laughed.

"He doesn't care, Tamia. They stop caring and getting jealous once they claim their fated. I learned the hard way. I tried to make him jealous a couple of times, and even though he was offended, I didn't get the reaction I wanted. Think of it more like this," She said and gulped down the wine in her glass.

"Before his fated, he couldn't stand me being around anyone. He didn't want anyone to touch me and got jealous whenever he picked a foreign scent on me. Now he doesn't care what I do as long as I do not do it in public, and rumours don't spread; he is okay," Linda said, and I understood what she meant.

She filled up her glass and drank the wine again. Linda was a wreck; would this be me shortly?

The other women came around, and I noticed they were avoiding the elephant in the room, Leo and Amanda. I respected and thanked them for their control. I ended up giving them an opening to talk to me about it, and they felt sorry for me. Most of them genuinely hoped it was a phase, but others, like Avery and Linda, knew it was just the beginning of the end for me.

We soon joined our husbands.

I should have been with the men throughout the meeting because I was a warrior Luna, but I did not want to be next to Leo or render any assistance anymore.

I wasn't a fool. I planned on gradually stepping away from my duties to the pack. It was no use anymore.

I noticed the subtle exchange between Alpha Ramzey and my husband, and I did not need to guess why.

After the meeting, we headed to the car park, where Alpha Ramzey accosted us.

"Leaving so soon, Alpha Leo? We haven't finished our discussion yet," He said and looked at me with scorn.

"You can't keep him, you know." He said to me, and Leo tensed.

"Leave my wife out of this," Leo warned him, and he laughed.

"But she is in the middle of it, Leo. You might be the most powerful Alpha in this region, but we deserve respect. You defiled my daughter at that party and did not take her home. It is wrong," He said, and Leo growled at him.

"We made out. That was all. I did not sleep with her. I did not fuck her," He said, and Ramzey punched him. Honestly, I was glad for that punch. Something I wanted to do last night.

"I do not care, Leo. You lost control and ripped her dress. Now that is all everyone is talking about. You will do the honourable thing and come and get her from my pack." He demanded, and Leo refused.

"You think I wanted this for my Amanda? She went to medical school. I had plans for her. Being a mistress to an Alpha wasn't it," he said with a shakey voice. The man was hurting too.

"Luna Tamia is too valuable for you to reject her, and you will not want to lose some of your wolf strength by rejecting your chosen, so I know you will stick to her; I also know you won't reject your fated for the same reason. Come and get her from my pack and claim her. The three of you can figure it out from there. Next time, I won't ask nicely," He said and walked away.

I could not speak because Ramzey had given me the most precise picture of the situation.

I walked numbly to the car and fought my tears.