Elodie

Now, here I am again... back at this monster's home. My head is buried beside my neck.

Words that cannot be uttered remain in my mind, pounding my heart as a pestle does to a mortar.

Loud music fills the air, but somehow, it is no match for the voices screaming in my mind.

I sit in the farthest corner, nursing down my third glass of tequila to dull the pain.

I haven't say a word. I just keep hearing the same three words over and over again:

"Saviour... Pregnant...Married."

"Saviour...Pregnant... Married." I keep on repeating the same thing.

What do they take me for?

A stinking, barren bitch?

Really?

I let out a deep breath. I shouldn't be drinking.

Not after how badly it embarrassed me the last time, four years ago.

He saved me that night... and wh..what did he make of it?

He strips me of dignity and ruins me again.

How could it be so easy for him to be done with me?

Just like that.

After three good years of my life?

Mason used to be my safe place. My last resort, my only constant.

What changed?

And all the while, he was cheating on me with my own sister of all women?

Pretending to love me?

"This is madness..." I mutter, tilting my head back and emptying the glass in one go.

"Fuck love." I close my eyes, trying to resist the tears burning their way up.

He already divorced me, just as if I was nothing.

Maybe I am nothing.

Maybe he was right.

My mother, just a mistress to the Fontain's. If only she didn't mix business with pleasure, perhaps I wouldn't be caught in this long and shameful situation.

"Ouch..." I wince, my fingers gliding against the puffiness under my swollen eyes.

Everything hurts.

"I'm never falling in love again." I mumble. "It always ends in a dead zone."

Barely three weeks ago, he left for a business trip. Says he'll be back today.

What did he do instead?

He turns our anniversary into an eviction.

And the food I spend hours preparing?

It is used to celebrate my loss. "Wow."

So they've been entangled all this while? I blink rapidly, fighting the fresh sting of tears.

There's no point holding on to a man who lets his mother insult me to my face– who has long since killed my joy.

"Where's my drink?" I snap at the bartender.

My red, swollen eyes scan the room. Strangers clinking glasses, laughter, music, everything I feel disconnected from.

"Tequila and more vodka for table six," the bartender says, placing the drinks in front of me.

I take a shot. The burn crawls down my throat . "I'm back here again. A very long and stressful ride indeed."

My head drops.

"Another?" the bartender asks.

I give a numb nod.

...

"Do you mind if I share the table with you?" A deep, velvet voice brushes past my ears.

My eyes snap open, and I lift my head, expecting the bartender but it's him.

Not the bartender.

A blur figure.

Too handsome to be real. His lush brown hair, tousles in the air. This is a kind of face that only appears in dreams.

A rush of dopamine swirls through my bloodstream.

No. This is alcohol.

Get hold of it, Elodie. He's no different from the rest.

Life ruiners.

"You don't belong here," his voice cuts through, firm yet smooth and silk. "I've been watching you from across my table."

I let out a dry chuckle. "And you do?"

He rolls his eyes and moves a seat closer-stumbles a little .

"But I'm not the one drinking tequila like it's water." he quips.

"You are clearly inebriated," I shoot back. "I saw that miss-step. You've had just as much."

He shrugs . "Maybe I'm just trying to forget."

"Does it work?"

"No," he says, locking eyes with mine. "But it numbs the part I want to silence."

Something about the way he speaks... magnetic.

Maybe we're both just two lost souls... drifting.

"My fiancee broke up with me today," he says suddenly. "Right before I could show her the ring."

I wince, lifting my glass again. "Poor thing."

I gulp. "My husband replaced me with my step sister today too."

He inhales sharply.

"I thought my story was bad..." He chuckles. "But yours? Yours is worse."

My lips curl into a bitter smile... and then, it falters.

The night went on. I could barely pay attention to what he's saying, just admiring the handsome shade in front of me.

An hour later, we stumble up the hallway and stop at room 135. I don't remember saying yes, but I didn't say no either.

I need to forget.

He slides in the key card and pushes the door open. I walk in first, collapsing on the bed, my body heavy and soaks in exhaustion.

He follows, locking the door behind him.

We both lay there in silence, side by side, catching our breath and staring at the ceiling as if waiting for something unspoken to break the stillness.

I turn my head slightly, stealing a glance.

Without a word, he shifts closer and brushes a strand of hair from my face.

"You're so beautiful." He murmurs, and lightly caresses my cheek.

My skin tingles beneath his touch

What is wrong with me?

*****

The insistent ringing of my alarm drags me back to consciousness.

Groggily, I open my eyes and blink against the light, and reach out for my phone.

But then it hit me.

This isn't my room.

My eyes widen. Oh my God!

This room looks nothing familiar...

I sit up immediately to see some clothes scattered on the floor.

I yank the duvet off my body with disgust and freeze. "What?"

I'm naked!

My heart sinks to my stomach, I quickly pull the duvet up to my chest, clutching it like it would wash away the regrets already welling up.

A sharp wave of pain knocks through my head, and then, the memories came flooding in.

The bar.

The man.

The hallway.

His body pressing into mine.

I recall him rising and falling above me repeatedly.

"Oh my gosh," I mumbles, my lips trembling. "What have I done?"

I can't even remember his blurred face, not even his name. Our conversation just flowed easily, two strangers finding solace in each other's chaos.

A cold knot settles deep in my stomach, but deeper than that, shame cloth me.

And God help me...he had done it so well.

The sound of splashing water pulls me back.

My gaze drifts towards the bathroom.

He's in there.

Panic tightens in my chest.

I can't face him. Not like this.

Not in the daylight.

I scramble off the bed, wincing as I search for my clothes. My hands shake as I get dressed in silence.

Then I spot a thick wad of cash inside the drawer. Without thinking, I slip out a few bills with trembling hands.

"This will be enough for my transport." I whisper.

My heart races as I tiptoes to the door and looks behind with my racing pulse, my eyes refusing to meet whoever is in there.

"Thanks for... last night," I say to the thin air and turn the knob.

"Wait..." a faint voice speaks behind me but I'm already gone.

Elodie

My inconsistency at the workplace has been piling up, and today is one of those days I have to send yet another email asking for permission to be absent.

My finger glides across the red button and it clicks Send.

I sit quietly, staring at the white ceiling of the hospital when the doctor walks in with a file and a wide smile on her face.

That kind of smile that is either too good... or about a change in everything.

"Congratulations, Elodie," she says softly, "you're pregnant."

My heart races, skipping a beat as I blink once.

Twice.

Then I laugh.

Not a happy laugh.

A bitter, crack sound that makes the nurse beside her shift uncomfortably.

"I think you're mistaken here," I whisper, shaking my head. "I can't be."

But the smile on her face didn't falter. "I ran the test twice. You're eight weeks along. There's no mistake."

My throat tightens, and my fingers curl around the strap of my purse, squeezing it like I'm holding on to reality.

Pregnant?

Me?

"How?" I squint as the word slips from my lips.

Dr. Lucy lets out a soft chuckle. "How? You don't mean that, do you?"

My lips curl inwardly, in response to her harmless gesture.

It has been barely two months since I moved down to Emberveli town-since after Mason left me. Adjusting to the new environment hasn't been so smooth to me, now this.

This is a cruel joke from the universe.

I'm finally carrying a child?

A miracle I prayed for endlessly to save my marriage but it never came.

Why now?

After all I've been through?

My eyes burn, threatening to unleash flow, but I blink fast.

No tears, not here.

"So now, Dr. Lucy says, breaking the silence, "you'll need to level up the care you give yourself, knowing there's a life growing inside you."

"Yes, Doctor." I nod, forcing a faint smile that doesn't reach my eyes.

"Here," she says, handing me the test results. "Ensure to go through it and follow up all the instructions there. Congratulations once more Elodie."

"Thank you." I say and swallow hard.

I walk out like a ghost, clutching the paper with trembling hands. When I get to the major road, I wave for a cab.

As it pulls to a drive, I lean my back on the soft leather seat, speechless, except for the rustling sheet of my lab test breaking the silence.

In less than an hour, I'm back to my apartment. I pay the driver and step out.

I rush inside, slam the door shut and stand there freezing, still holding the result.

"I, Elodie...Pregnant...?"

I stagger backwards until my legs find the edge of the couch, and I collapse onto it.

My hands quiver as I place it over my flat stomach, the same stomach my ex and his mother had mocked.

"You're barren. Useless. A disgrace to our name."

Those words still echo in my head like a cruel chant.

A single tear rolls down my right cheek.

Another follow.

Then a loud, broken sob racks my body as years of shame and rejection come crashing.

I weep for years, I spent begging God for a child to save my marriage, and now when no one expects it, life blooms inside of me.

A wave of happiness and confusion washes over me at the same time.

How am I going to survive?

I barely feed properly.

"I'm finally going to be a real mother? I whisper through my sob, squeezing joyfully through my teeth. "But for who?"

I blink hard, trying to force back the tears that are already slipping out.

"For a man who treated me with no respect like I meant nothing?"

I close my eyes against the rush of pain that fills me. "I'll keep you safe, my baby, away from Mason." I said and move my hands across my belly. "I promise."

Just then, my stomach churns violently as a sudden rush of nausea sweeps past me.

I rush to the bathroom, holding my mouth with one hand and pressing the other against my belly.

I lean over the toilet bowl and gag, my body shaking with the force of each heave. A Bitter bile and remnants of my meal surges up my throat, leaving a sour taste in my mouth.

When it finally stops, I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and let out a weak bitter laugh.

"So... it's real after all." I murmur.

...

Five years later...

Oh my God. It's almost 5 p.m.

I'm late again.

Hurriedly, I grab my handbag and dash out to the busy road. I wave down a cab.

"Main and Elm, please," I pant as I hop in. "Quickly!"

The driver nods and speeds off. But barely ten minutes into the drive, rain starts, pouring heavily.

Suddenly, the road clusters and I get stuck in traffic.

I tap my foot nervously. "Please...go faster."

He sighs but doesn't answer. I stretch my neck, trying to see past the sea of cars ahead.

Just then, my phone buzzes with a message from the school: "Liam is waiting safely at the drop-off point"

I exhale deeply. I feel relief and whisper a soft "Thank you Jesus." I put the phone back into my bag.

Shortly the road clears. The cabbie speeds forward as fast as he could, but nothing prepares me for the scene I meet when he turns the corner.

A silver car diverts sharply at the school drop-off point.

And Liam. My Liam is right there.

My eyes bulge as I watch it speed towards him. Panic crawls through my veins.

My pupils dilate. "No. No, no." My scream catches in my throat.

"Stop, stop, stop. I slap the front seat, praying my fears were wrong.

The moment it slows, I fling the door open and dash out. My bag spills onto the wet road but I don't care.

A small crowd is gathering.

Hazard lights blinking nonstop.

And then I see him. His small body... lying still on the wet ground.

There, a man in a soaked dress shirt is already kneeling, performing a frantic CPR.

My heart nearly stops.

"Liam!" I scream, as I push through the people.

My legs give out when I reach them and see his pale face, blood smears on his temple, and one of his shoes has flown off.

I kneel closely beside him, my heart drops. "No! Liam!"

Voices were muttering words from behind but I can barely hear them. My entire mind zeros in Liam.

"Baby... Mama is here. Please...open your eyes." Tears blur my vision. My hands tremble as I cup his face.

But when his body gives no response, my fear grows stronger.

"The ambulance has arrived." A voice speaks.

"Help my baby! Please!" My words hang in the air like a challenge as EMTs move in swift motion.

Travis

"Any news yet?" Nathan's voice drifts from the other side of the phone, "Have you heard from...?"

I shrug, swirling the wine in my glass. "Not yet."

"But it's been years, Travis," Nathan says. "You don't even remember her face. Or her name."

"But I remember how I felt," I murmur. A sad smile creeping onto my lips. "That night was the only time I've felt that way with another except Serena."

Nathan sighs. "Who chases an unknown shadow for five years?"

"A man who has nothing else that makes sense." I answer with a lower voice now.

He softens, his tone calmer. "There are still good women out there. Women who'd treat you better, if..."

"If I just let go?" I cut in, a bitter chuckle slipping through. "I already did that once. You saw how it ended."

He fell silent for a moment. "Serena betrayed you, yes I'm aware. But not every woman is like her."

My grip on the glass tightens. The pain is still there, buried under ambition and denial. "I know. But I can't fake closure."

Nathan groans lightly. "You don't even know this girl. One night in a hotel room and she's tattooed on your soul?"

"You weren't there," I whisper. "She didn't even ask for anything. She just...left even though I was an inch away. Her blur still etches in my mind."

"And you think she's out there waiting for you? You think she'd accept you now even if you find her and explain your feelings?"

"No." I admit. "But I'm not searching for her to reclaim that night. I'm just...hoping she's okay."

"You're a romantic fool, you know that?"

I chuckle. "Hope has kept me sane, Nathan."

"Then good luck to you and your mysterious stranger," he says with a sigh. "I'll let you. Safe drive to Emberville."

"Thanks."

The line clicks off.

I exhale slowly and drop my phone, then swallow the last of my wine, and close my eyes briefly, before sinking deeper into the lounge chair.

Everyone says I need to move on, but how do I move from something that never had a name, yet it carved itself into my chest like truth?

Grabbing my keys, I walk down to the garage. I get into my Porsche Cayenne and pull onto the busy road to Emberville town for a routine site inspection.

...

A few hours later...

I'm done with what I came for and heading back home.

The road fills with people rushing from work. The sound of horns and revving engine slaps the air.

But just then I notice something in my side mirror, a black SUV with tinted windows.

With ease, It drives through the traffic and follows me closely as I approach the intersection of Main and Elm.

At first, I think I'm being paranoid... but the car sticks to me, mimicking every turning I make.

"Hello..." I speak into the phone, my voice tight. "Track my car and get me the information of the person tailing me."

"Yes boss," the voice replies immediately.

I hang up and make a sharp U-turn, hoping to lose whoever it is.

But that's when it happens.

The SUV catches up with me. It hits my car from behind and I lose control.

My car swerves fast, running out of lane. I slam the breaks, heart in my throat.

But it is too late then.

It hit a small school boy.

The thud is sickening, his small frame crumples on the impact.

My head jerks forward from the sudden stop and hits the steering wheel. A sharp pain splits through my skull, and blood begins to trickle down my face, blurring my vision.

The SUV then speeds past like smoke without any further hesitation.

In seconds, a small crowd gathers, drawn by the sound of screeching tires and shouting voices.

I open my car door and stumble out with blood dripping down my face.

Everything spins.

And then my eyes fell on her, broken. Confusion dribbles me for a second.

Her scream cuts through the noise with ease.

"Liam! My baby!" She shouts, running forward, and pushing people aside.

I freeze.

Panic surging up in my nerves.

"Someone call 911," a voice shouts from somewhere behind me.

My legs grow heavy, barely holding me upright as I stumble toward the body on the ground.

Blood drips from my forehead, clouding my vision.

I didn't mean for this to happen.

Forcing my sight to clear, I blink hard and that's when I see him clearly.

He lay still on the wet ground, a man kneeling beside him, compressing his chest, trying to breathe life back into him.

No...

My heart pounds in fear. Threatening to erupt from my ribcage.

Then, as if remembering I exist, she snaps her head up and her gaze fixes on me in anger.

She staggers to her feet and grabs the front of my shirt, with trembling hands.

"He's all I've got left in this world," she beats my chest weakly over and over, her tears shattering something inside me. "Why would you take him from me? Why?!"

"I didn't see him I swear, I didn't..." my voice cracks. "There was a car...someone was chasing me. I didn't mean..."

But my words sound very unnecessary.

"The ambulance is here!" a voice calls.

Red lights flashes and the wail of the siren grows louder. A paramedic team rushes in with a stretcher.

She lets go of me, as if drain of all strength, and turns back to her son.

The medics place the boy gently on the stretcher. His arms flop loosely. No response

"We'll perform CPR in transit. Possibly intubation if need be," one of them says, almost mechanically. " Due to space, we cannot permit an extra passenger."

The woman stands abruptly. "No. No, I'm coming with him."

"I'm sorry, ma'am," the paramedic replies. Wheeling the boy into the ambulance, and slams the doors shut. "We need room to work."

"You'll drive me." she turns and says as she comes facing me, her eyes full of desperation.

I nod without saying a word. There's nothing to say. I don't even know how I'm still standing.

We both get into my car.

The ambulance speeds off ahead of us, wailing its siren like a scream.

She sits beside me sobbing with a breaking breath, clenching the edge of the seat shakingly.

I wonder, what if I've just destroyed the only good thing left in her life?

Guilt twists my stomach.

The boy's frame flashes in my mind like a punch. I don't care about the car that tailed me."

Right now, I can only hope I haven't just killed someone's son.