I went upstairs. Just as I was about to open the door to the bedroom, I saw a pregnancy test in the trash can outside the door.

The familiar shape visible through the plastic bag. It was the same one I'd used earlier today, and the results were the same, too: Rachel was also pregnant.

It wasn't that Xavier didn't want kids. He just didn't want to have kids with me. The thought disgusted him.

My nails dug into my palms. It felt as if vines had sprouted out of the ground and were strangling me. I couldn't breathe.

No one knew better than I did how hard it was to grow up in a broken family.

If that was the case, then it was just as well to have the child's own father end its life.

Calmly, I restored everything to its original state.

Before I left, I turned and looked back at the old house for one last time, thinking of all the memories that it held.

Xavier and I had bought this house three years ago when we'd first gotten married. When we got the keys, he'd told me that I would be the lady of the house from that day on. However, now, it was his and Rachel's love nest.

He had told me he'd rented this place to his colleagues, which was why I never came here. It turned out that he was keeping his mistress here.

I left quietly and went back to the house that I shared with Xavier now.

Opening the medicine cabinet, I took out all of the foul medication and threw them all into the trash can.

There were also sheaves upon sheaves of medical reports issued by the hospital over the years. I burned them and watched them turn to ashes before my eyes.

I thought that I was finally free of the troubles that tormented me, but my tears couldn't stop falling.

My dream had become a nightmare, in which Xavier's words haunted me.

It turned out that once something was broken, it would never be able to go back to the way it used to be.

While I lay in bed, Xavier texted me several times again.

"Shelly, do you still have the maternity stuff we bought before? And the pregnancy care manual I made—is it still around?

"A colleague of mine is pregnant. We won't be using those anytime soon anyway, so why don't we let her have them?"

Clearly, the colleague was Rachel.

I stopped in the middle of my crying, unable to say a word.

The last time I was pregnant, Xavier had been overjoyed. He'd lost several nights of sleep just to compile a pregnancy care manual for me. He'd made a lot of notes on it, all clear reflections of his love and hope.

At the time, he had really wanted the child. Now, though, his love had shifted to another woman.

I closed my eyes and replied, "Sure."

I didn't want the child anymore.

I didn't want Xavier, either.

…

The next morning, I drove over to the hospital to drop off the things that Xavier had asked for.

After taking the things, he tried to hug me.

I sidestepped him and jokingly said, "What's that smell on you? It's so strong. You wouldn't happen to be having an affair behind my back, would you?"

Panic flashed in his eyes just for a moment. Then, he leaned his head against my shoulder affectionately. "I wouldn't. You know very well how I feel about you."

How he felt about me? Whatever it was, it had long rotted away.

I tried to pull away from his embrace, but he tightened his grip.

"Don't be silly, Shelly," he said. "I've just come out of a surgery. I'm tired. Let me recharge, okay?"

He held me tightly as if trying to merge my body into his. His hot breath brushed against my ear. The smell of Rachel filled the space between us.

It made me nauseous.

I didn't understand. Didn't he find this act exhausting?

After the visit, I did not head home immediately. I went to the café across from the hospital and sat there for a long time.

As the sky darkened, I saw Xavier and Rachel heading to a baby store hand in hand.

Once I confirmed that they weren't heading home anytime soon, I went to the old house that Rachel was currently living in.

Before taking out the key to unlock the door, I tried entering our old password into the electronic lock.

To my surprise, the door opened. The passcode was still the date of our wedding.

For a moment, I wasn't sure whether I should pity myself or Rachel.

After entering, I placed hidden cameras in several discreet corners. Once I was sure that I had a full view of most of the house, I prepared to leave.

Just then, the lock on the front door beeped.

In a panic, I hid behind the curtains.

Thankfully, the refrigerator in front of me blocked me, so Xavier and Rachel did not notice me when they came in.

As soon as he put down what he was holding, Xavier pushed Rachel onto the dining table urgently.

Through the gap in the curtains, I watched as Xavier's face drew closer to me suddenly. The silent air was suddenly filled with sweet, sticky sounds and Rachel's heavy breathing.

Xavier was only about two feet away from me. He was so close that I could even see the tiny little mole on his knuckle.

Nervous, I held my breath and squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't want to watch them have sex. Unfortunately, the lack of visuals just made Xavier's muffled groans louder in my head.

"Shelly, my beloved."

I had to be losing my mind to think that he was calling my name.

Memories came flooding back into my head.

We'd done the same thing, in the same place, in the same position. Now, the woman he was kissing wasn't me.

I bit my lips hard, not daring to make a sound. I let my tears drip down to the floor.

After an unknown amount of time, Xavier carried Rachel into the bedroom.

I heard the sounds of running water coming from the room. Only then did I dare to emerge from my hiding place. I stepped out but almost collapsed as my legs buckled from underneath me.

When I finally got home, I scheduled a hospital appointment for the next day.

I deliberately chose Lila Brown, who was in the same department as Xavier.

She was his senior and also my friend. We had been in the same club in college, and she'd always looked out for me.

When I showed up for my appointment, she was surprised and confused. "Shelly, you're already 13 weeks along. Are you sure you don't want to keep the baby?

"Is it because of Xavier? Did he cheat on you?" She bombarded me with questions.

I just nodded.

"I want Xavier to perform the procedure himself," I said. "You'll help me, won't you, Lila?"

Lila looked at me in disbelief, like I'd said something outrageous.

In the end, she gave in to my pleading.

When I opened the door to her office to leave, I ran into Xavier, who had come to see Lila. "Shelly? What are you doing here?"

I tightened my grip on the medical report I was holding, not knowing how to reply for a minute.

Lila quickly grabbed my arm and covered for me. "What? Aren't we allowed to catch up?"

I forced out a smile and nodded fervently while shoving the report into my pocket.

"Go on in. I'm heading out," I told Xavier. I didn't want to stay any longer. I just wanted to leave as quickly as I could.

At the end of the corridor, Xavier managed to catch up to me. He grabbed my wrist. "Shelly, are you hiding something from me?"

I was silent for a moment. Looking into his eyes, I said gravely, "You've already guessed, haven't you?"

Xavier was trembling. He sounded panicked. "Shelly, no. I…"

"You guessed that I was planning a surprise for your birthday, right? It's just a few days away. I wanted to surprise you," I continued. "What's wrong? Did you do something wrong? You're sweating."

I lifted my hand and tried to wipe his brows, but he turned away. "No. I'm just sweating because I ran after you. I'm glad to hear that you're okay."

The way he'd gone from panicked to relieved was oddly satisfying to watch. I wondered how he would react when he realized that he was performing an abortion on me.

…

Soon, the day of the procedure arrived.

On the operating table, it was hard to open my eyes against the bright lights. I felt an intense pain coming from my lower body.

The sound of bones and flesh tearing apart filled my mind. Vaguely, I heard the nurses gossiping about me.

"Poor thing. How could she bear to get rid of her baby?"

"I heard she's a relative of Dr. Brown's. Probably another young woman tricked by some douchebag."

My mind was too muddled to process the hushed whispers.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Xavier walk into the room in his surgical scrubs.

Lila was supposed to perform the abortion on me, but she had somehow gotten Xavier to take over. He'd done this hundreds of times, so he was very familiar with the procedure.

He wouldn't make any mistakes now.