One

Temperance

20th Birthday

“Nova, are you there?” I ask. She had been silent for hours since my brother came down to give us what he called our “Birthday Present.”

The present was… Well, let’s just say it is the sort of present you would rather go without. Something no sane person would ever, in their right mind, consider a present to begin with.

I shake my head to rid myself of the awful thoughts. The more I focus on something, the more it eats at me, the more violently it haunts me. I would rather forget. For good.

I press forward, and an inaudible gasp leaves me as I try to see if for once, I can take back the control from my wolf. I am not asking for too much, right? Just a few seconds, minutes at most, to see the world with my own eyes, instead of borrowing the eyes of others as I usually do. Perhaps it’s selfish of me to ask anything at all, but I never really do that. It’s my birthday after all. Just this once…

“How long have I been in the dark today?” I whisper, surprised that I can hear my own voice. This time, at least I can speak, which means Nova’s restraint is slipping.

“Too long!” Shadow snaps from somewhere off to the left of me. I want to be brave, I want to tell Nova to stop taking control over everything. However, I know my requests will be in vain, earning me more shouts and anger from our companion, Shadow. He thinks I’m weak,, and she is right. He believes what she claims.

Besides, I really don’t want to be blocked out for silent treatment. I hate being alone, I hate the silence as the dread creeps up on me. There is nothing worse than living with your own thoughts. There is no place more dangerous than one’s mind. And my mind always seems to conjure up the worst scenarios.

I hold my breath as I try to move past the barrier that separates me from Nova.

“What are you doing? Get back! Are you trying to get us killed?” Nova groans and strengthens the barrier as I fight her for control.

I still try, but each time I do, it feels like she does anything in her power to push me away. Each attempt is unsuccessful, but I still don’t want to give up without really trying. I haven’t seen actual daylight for as long as I can remember. Nova says it isn’t safe.

Yet, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel what they do to her. Sure, she tries to hide it, refusing to speak of it. But I get glimpses from her memory. I catch on to her pain every time her barriers drop. The only time I am actually let out is when we are back in the cage in the basement. Ironic, isn’t it.

It’s not like I can see anyway. The basement is dark, cold, and reeks. I haven’t laid eyes on a physical object in years besides the cattle prod. The one my brother likes to use on me ever since he killed Daddy and put me down here. My daddy’s body is now nothing but a weightless pile of bones that rests on the dirt floor across from me.

I still remember that day clearly. And every time I recall it, I feel tears sting my eyes, and a lump forms in my throat as the scene replays itself in my mind over and over again. It’s taught me that there is no place more dangerous than my mind — it brings me back to times no one should remember, the memories haunting me over and over again, forcing me to relive the pain. One would think I would be accustomed to pain by now, yet Nova takes the brunt of it, and I get it second hand. But from what slivers I do get, the pain is unbearable, just like the memories that flash before my eyes.

That horrible day, Daddy tried to protect me, save me from my brother. But all of his attempts, the fight he put up, were futile. Daddy was old and Satish was strong, stronger than Daddy despite him being an Alpha.

Satish killed him mercilessly that day. I had just blown out my birthday candles, when Daddy made this vile noise, blood sprayed across my face and the white roses that decorated my cake turned crimson.

Satish claimed it was my birthday gift and I should be grateful for how generous he is to me for letting me live, that my life was tarnished the day I killed my mother. He told me the only thing I deserved was my new prison and I should thank him for allowing me to live and to stay down in the basement.

And while my own brother killed my Daddy and called it my gift, on that awful day, it wasn’t the only thing that happened. Later that day, I received another present for my 13th birthday. Nova came to me. My first shift was agonizing and grueling. Confined to a cage far too small for my breaking limbs, Nova was the voice that soothed me, she saved me from my own insanity, promising it would get better. Only it hasn’t. Not yet at least.

And after that, as a proof of Satish’s generosity, or at least that’s what he calls it, I got to watch Daddy’s body decay from my cage, smell his flesh rot. I used to talk to him. I used to share my thoughts and dreams with the body that lay across from me. Now, his bones lay across from us. Satish told me it should remind me of how easily he can kill me.

Sometimes I wish he would, but Nova always encourages me to hold on. Hold on for what? I don’t even think she knows anymore but is so used to saying it that it's become her mantra. An automatic response with a hollow meaning. Hope, that was something I lost when Satish gave me to his pack. We were so excited to leave our cage, we thought Satish had a change of heart. We were wrong.

So very wrong. There is nothing more vile than man, and I have endured the worst kinds, and sometimes, I wonder if there is any other.

Two

Temperance

That day, I screamed for Daddy, screamed for anyone to save me. That was also the day I stopped talking to Daddy, the day it truly sunk in that he would never be here to save me again. I haven’t dared to talk to Daddy, or what’s left of the only person that ever loved me, not since Shadow became locked in here with us. Shadow told me that she too came from a place of darkness, yet she claimed this hell was far worse than the pits of hell she crawled out of. She had escaped something terrible only to end up in the forsaken hands of my brother.

Shadow is not like us. She is nothing like Nova and me. She can be cruel, mean, and sometimes she sounds like she has no heart at all. But at the same time, Shadow is our only friend. She says our only salvation will be with death.

However, now, I know I am already dead.

I have been dead and forgotten ever since he locked the cage closed seven years ago. My 13th birthday will be one I will always remember, just like my 18th. I wish I could remember my 13th as the day I met my best friend, the day my wolf came to me and remained by my side. But instead, I remember it as the day he killed Daddy. The day I saw how truly monstrous he can be. How dangerous he is…

And my 18th should have been a joyous occasion too, yet it became another I wish I could forget. Instead the only gift I was granted was to see the monster live behind the mask of man instead of just in nightmares. They’re a thing of this world… a world I no longer wish to be a part of.

I suppose I should thank Satish in a sense because on my 18th I was given a gift. If that is what you could call it. That day I was granted clarity. Clarity that I would forever be at the mercy of my brother. Sometimes accepting your fate is better than fighting against it.

Nova exhales, the sound a wheeze in the darkest pits of our mind. Nova slips, her control warning me to be careful. I am allowed to come forward, so I know I must be in the basement.

I need to blink a couple of times until my eyes adjust to the ability to see for myself all over again. Every time, I feel like I am waking up after sleeping for years and have forgotten how to use my muscles.

I peer out into the darkness and gaze out into what looks like total oblivion, a never-ending void. Straining my ears, I listen. First, I hear the sound of distant footsteps on the floorboards upstairs. There is also a sound that reminds me of a TV playing upstairs, but I’m not entirely sure because I haven’t seen one for god knows how long. I’ve forgotten what most everyday objects look like.

Sighing, I lean back against the mesh. My trembling hands trail over my body, and I feel the slickness of wounds that run deep. They’re deeper than many we have had before. I scrunch up my face at the stench of blood in the air. I can feel the taste of it on my tongue - coppery and metallic, along with a hint of soap. A whimper escapes me. What did they do to her? Do to me?

“Nova?” I whisper into the darkness. I’m scared to ask, but I want to know the answers to questions that run through my mind. If I don’t, they will haunt me and eventually drive me insane.

“Leave her! She has endured enough for you already!” Shadows snaps at me in a venomous tone, and my head turns at the sound of her voice. I look to the corner of the basement where her cage is.

She rarely speaks, but when she does, it is usually to sneer at how weak I am. Another aggressive reminder of how I don’t deserve anything good, don’t even deserve my wolf. And even if she doesn’t say those exact words, she makes sure to emphasize the meaning behind the few she spits so I understand how much she hates me.

If I let my wolf take my punishments, she thinks I’m weak, if I do take them, she thinks my screams make me weak. I’m an abomination, she likes to tell me. A freak of nature. Cruel to allow Nova to have control, little does she know I never get the choice. Nova is stronger than me, she always has been. She’s strong until she isn’t. Like right now.

However, Shadow also knows that it is not by choice, she sees me struggle with my wolf, she witnesses how Nova controls me. She is here, with us, to watch how hard I try to take control, how I do everything in my power to take Nova’s place.

Nova always overpowers me, I have no choice but to sit in the silence of my head, or sometimes, sit in the darkness and listen to her screams while feeling her second hand pain.

Other times, I listen to Shadow screaming at them to leave me alone. They never do, but this time I am determined to remain forward. I won’t move aside even if Nova tries to push me back into hiding.

Maybe I can plead with my brother to allow me freedom. Even just for a few seconds, to smell fresh air and feel the sunlight on my skin. My limbs hurt, this cage is far too small. Seven years is a long time to be trapped in here.

The cage didn’t grow with me over the years, but no one cares about that. The walls just closed in more and my clothes grew too tight. Despite the fact that I can feel my bones, there isn’t enough fabric to cover me fully, to keep me warm and decent. Eventually even my clothes turned to tatters and left me bare and exposed.

I must be a grotesque sight to see. Sometimes, I wonder if I resemble mom or dad more. I wonder what the image might be, if I were to see my reflection in a mirror. The reflection is what confuses me the most. Would there be a girl with a broken smile or a soulless woman? Would she recognize me as her, or deny that we are the same person as she stares back at me?

“Shadow?” I sing out into the darkness.

“No, need to yell, I am right here!” she snaps, and I turn my head to look in the corner of the basement. Her eyes reflect back at me, but that is all I can tell of her features, those red glowing pits of anger reflect oddly back at me, she watches me back and growls. I avert my gaze, unable to take her judging eyes.

Three

Temperance

“Did he take Nova out of the cage?” I ask her, knowing what that means. It makes my skin itch. I know the answer, but I hope she tells me differently.

“Yes, he said he would be back for me later,” she tells me with a whimper. I sigh, that would explain the blood, and the scent of lingering soap. He always hosed me down before putting me back in the cage. Yet she never tells me what he does with her. I have a faint idea from the voices and the vulgar comments of men I vaguely hear; or by the throbbing pain that sits between my legs and the handprints I can still feel on my thighs and hips. The stickiness that doesn’t quite leave my skin; I know it is nothing good.

My body always feels sore and aches, sometimes my scalp hurts, sometimes everything does. Sitting in the darkness, I listen to the TV above, trying to picture the faces of the voices and listening to the story they speak. In the dark for so long, you develop a great imagination, yet that swings both ways. Sometimes what I hear, I don’t want to imagine. But my mind conjures it up anyway.

Hearing the TV cut off, I have no idea how much time has passed. Time isn’t exactly something I can keep up with. The passing of time is as lost to me as hope. All I know is darkness and darker darkness when Nova locks me away. Heavy footsteps sound above, and I turn my head, clutching the mesh, searching the vast cold space.

The sound of the door handle twisting makes me scoot back, then the heavy sounds of footsteps on the old, creaky stairs make my heart beat faster.

“Nova!” I hiss, but she is too weak, and I gulp as my brother comes closer. I can tell he is closer because of his scent, and the deadly aura radiating out of him, encasing me with fear so strong I can scent it in the air.

“Shadow you’re up!” Satish’s deep, cruel voice orders. Shadow snarls loudly, and I turn my head to look at her.

“Now! Or I can take it out on Temperance! Is that what you want? To listen to her scream?” He snaps, and a lump forms in my throat at the threat as I tug on Nova. But whatever he did, he hurt her badly. I can feel how weak she is. She tries to get up and take the reins, but I know she can’t endure another round.

“It’s okay, Nova. Rest,” I urge. Still, she fights to force the barrier in place, but I push back, I can survive whatever he throws at me if she can. For her, I will be strong just as she is for me.

“What will it be?” Satish snarls at Shadow. His features are obscured as I peer out of the cage, the only thing I can smell is his cologne and his heady wolf scent.

“Very well then!” Satish snaps kicking my cage, and I jump as he crouches in front of me.

“Hello Sis,” he sneers at me. “Looks like you are going for round two?” My heart races, and I feel Nova trying to come forward, trying to take my place. Fear of what is to come seizes my already broken body as the keys rattle and he undoes the padlocks. We’ve tried and failed to breach those padlocks of the too-small cage. Too small to even shift.

“Fine, Fine. I’ll go!” Shadow yells.

Satish pauses, and the slightest silver glint of the keys he holds shines back at me.

“You’ll behave Shadow? No tricks like last time?” he asks her. I wonder what he means, did she try to escape?

“I promise Alpha!” she answers. My brother’s teeth glint back at me as he smiles cruelly at her.

“Your lucky day Sis, you have a volunteer,” he chuckles. Not realizing I always do. Nova always volunteers and takes my place, she pretends to be me.

“Only if you give us food,” she snarls. Just the mention of food makes my belly growl. I cringe wondering what he will do now that she demanded something of him. He huffs standing.

“You dare complain and ask for things, after what you did?” he snarls. I wonder what she did last time.

“Feed the girl at least, she is far too weak, can’t you see she’s not healing!” Her voice is merely a snarl.

He huffs, but Shadow is braver than me to speak to him in such a way. I would never dare. I can’t even remember the taste of food, though I know he must feed us. Nova told me he grants us the bare scraps, but I am yet to see them. I suppose it is when he takes her out of the cage while I am buried in the deepest parts of my mind.

Footsteps sound a few minutes later as someone comes into the basement. A scent I know because I can still smell it lingering on my skin. “Thank you, Trent,” my brother tells the man I cannot see.

I see his figure crouch down in front of my cage. His teeth gleam in the darkness, canines that are far too sharp. I try to press away, but I have nowhere to go when my nose picks up something tantalizing. Enticing. He pushes something through mesh, and before I can think of my actions my hands snatch it. It appears to be some sort of bone, small but still enticing.

“That is it?” Shadow growls.

“You behave and I will grant her another,” my brother snarls back at her. But I am hyper focused on the prize in my hand she gifted me. My mouth salivating as my teeth tear into it. It’s…it’s… it reminds me of…

“It’s a chicken leg,” Nova tells me, her voice barely reaching me she is so consumed by exhaustion.

“It's delicious,” I tell her, and she sobs in my head, thinking otherwise. My taste buds explode and all too soon, it is gone. I chew on the bone, my blunt teeth trying to gnaw it down.

“Don’t eat the bone!” Nova yells at me, but it tastes too good.

“I have something you can wrap your lips around sweets, do you want my bone?” this Trent man speaks into the darkness. I flinch and pull my legs close to my chest, protecting my bone.

“That is all, Trent, you need to go pick up our guests.” My brother dismisses him.

“Now Shadow, I have a very special guest coming that I need you to entertain, and when his guards are down I need you to kill him, but don’t be reckless I need his blood. So preferably leave him in one piece.”

“What for?” she questions.

“Never mind that, you do as you're told and I shall reward you,” he continues, and I retreat having chewed the piece of bone apart, my throat hurts, the bone scraping all the way to my stomach.

“I told you not to eat the bone,” Nova scolds.

“But I…” I sigh as my belly cramps. I can taste the blood in my mouth from my bleeding gums and now aching teeth. Cringing as I listen to my brother. I wonder why he offers her a reward this time and what it will be? Would he set her free? Is her time here up for her crimes? He never offers us a reward, no we get threats, either comply or die.