I look up into his eyes. "Pleasure. I rarely get hurt for punishment. I try to be as good as I can. Usually Dean's form of punishment is withholding pleasure. I can't... well... you know..." I blush, unable to form the words.

"Cum?" Holden asks, smirking.

I nod. "Yeah."

He chuckles. "That's one of my favourite pastimes! Orgasm denial is rather enjoyable for the man."

I gawp at him. "You... you enjoy that stuff too?" I ask.

Holden shrugs. "Not the whipping and caning, but the fun stuff like handcuffs, toys and well... orgasm denial. Are you into the pain?"

I bite my lip and nod. "It's a fetish I guess. There's a fine line between pleasure and pain. If you find that middle line, it's incredible!"

Holden grins. "Let me show you what I can do." He whispers in my ear before pushing me off him, down onto the bed and straddling me.

I have a serious case of the butterflies in my belly as I wonder what treat I have in store.

Working his way down, Holden starts kissing, sucking and nibbling over my face and down to my neck, causing an overload of pleasure.

Down to my breasts, he takes one in his mouth. I expect calm slow sucking or nibbling but holy hell!

I gasp out loud, as he engulfs my nipple into the back of his mouth, sucking so hard my eyes roll back into my head.

Holden moves over to the other, abusing it just the same. This one is pierced with a little metal bar though, making it a million times more sensitive.

I cry out loud, as shock waves from my nipple dart all the way down to my core, making me soaking wet and ready for him.

Removing himself from my breasts, Holden carries on his delightful assault down over my stomach and waist before stopping at my navel, dipping his tongue in and swirling it around.

Everything south of that point clenches in delight of what's coming soon... or maybe who was cumming soon??

Reaching my pubic bone, I feel his teeth skim over the sensitive skin there, making me gasp.

How the hell does he know where to touch? Does he know what affect he has on me?

Darting out his tongue, Holden reaches his hand foreword, spreading my lips eagerly.

As I feel his warm, moist tongue, snake over my highly sensitive, swollen bug, I shiver in delight.

His free hand moves to my wet and wanting hole, sliding a finger inside, starting to pump roughly and quickly inside me.

I groan and whimper, pushing myself down on his hand, wanting him deeper inside me.

Out of my control, my hands grab at his messy bed hair, pushing his face directly where I want him, making his tongue push deeper against my clit, working me higher and higher.

"Oh fuck! Holden, come on! Don't stop! I'm so... ohhhh!!!" I groan. All of a sudden an intense, mind blowing orgasm racks my body, sending me into convulsions of pleasure.

Instead of stopping, like most men would, Holden carries on, making me try to control myself as my orgasm peaks and eases off... But he still doesn't stop!!

Is he really trying for another one?

Doesn't he know how exhausting orgasms are???

I close my eyes, my mouth opening wide, and I settle into a relaxed, satisfied state. He continues to lick, suck and nibble at my over used clit. Just as I start to calm, I feel another orgasm start to climb my body.

Oh holy fuck, another one!

This man is a god in his own right!

My hands grip onto my silky red bed sheets, my back arching involuntarily as I peak again. This time, due to how sensitive I feel down below, I scream out loud. "Holy fuck!!"

As the wave of pleasure passes, I slump down on the bed with exhaustion.

Holden rises from the apex of my thighs, a proud smirk on his glorious face.

"You taste delicious." He murmurs, licking his lips.

I blush violently, unsure of how to take that.

Holden just laughs. "Bit much eh, love?"

I nod, and bite my lip trying to mask a laugh of embarrassment.

"Well my love, I really really want you! Tasting you was just a hint of how incredible you are!"

I swallow and prop myself up on my elbows, a side smirk on my face. "Well then, stop talking and get over here!"

Holden grins, and starts undoing his jean shorts, I shift up onto my knees. "Here, let me." I murmur, taking over.

"Now I have the best mate!" He sighs with contentment.

I chuckle. "You have no idea, Mister!"

Pulling his shorts and boxers down, his manhood springs free making me gasp in surprise. Not out of it popping out, but at his size.

Dean was big, but dear lord, Holden is huge!

I have never been with a guy of this magnitude!

"Holden!! I don't know if that's gonna fit! You're huge." I whisper, a little worried.

Holden strokes my cheek as I continue to stare at his giant piece of equipment. "Don't worry baby. I'll take it slow."

I nod, and Holden climbs off the bed to remove his shorts with me watching him. How graceful he was able to move with his shorts around his knees.

Building up my new found courage, I move off the bed, and kneel down in front of my sexy, well endowed mate. I look up into his shocked eyes as I grab his thick muscular cock, wrapping my fingers around his width.

"Does this turn you on?" I whisper, sticking my tongue out and slowly, sensually licking the tip and the dew of pre-cum.

Holden nods, obviously shocked into silence.

Keeping my eyes trained on his, I sheath my teeth behind my lips and take him down into my mouth, being rewarded with a light groan and a shiver through his body.

Being used to my submissive sex life, I grab his hands which are at his sides, and push them onto the back of my head, forcing him to push me down on his length.

Holden bites his lip, a grin sneaking out, as he does as I want, tangling his long fingers in my long locks. Using force, he pushes me down his excessive length, until he reaches the back of my throat.

Dean had taught me how to deep throat, giving me a new skill to use on men.

"Oh shit!" Holden groans, his jaw dropping. "Are you sure this is ok? I'm not hurting you, am I?"

I shake my head to the sides, indicating it was fine and I wanted to continue.

With confirmation, Holden continues pushing me back and forth, before he looses control, bucking his hips so he goes deeper.

I admit, deep throat face fucking isn't the most comfortable thing in the world, but seeing a man come apart just from my mouth is a serious turn on, especially for a submissive soul such as myself.

Holden grunts, gritting his teeth, tightening his grip on my hair, pulling me faster and faster as he gets closer to his climax.

"I'm gonna cum, baby! Oh shit."

I ready myself and my gag reflex for the oncoming shoot, still staring up into Holden's sexy blue brooding eyes.

I see them turn pitch black, his wolf taking over from the pleasure, I feel his balls tighten against my face and a sexual grunt leaves his lips as he forced me down his length one final time before spilling his seed down the back of my throat, sighing with relief.

I carefully pull back, swallowing and licking my lips. "Well, that was fun." I smirk.

"Holy shit, Lizzie! You're a goddess!"

I'm all for compliments in the bedroom. It just boosts my confidence.

"Why thank you kind sir." I grin, and carefully stand. My knees ache from kneeling for so long but it was worth it, and I would definitely do it again.

Standing before Holden, I slip my hands on his hips. "So, are you all tired out or can you handle more?" I whisper.

I am still so turned on and really, really need sex! Like its an overwhelming ache for his giant friend to enter me.

"Oh baby, I can never get enough of you! I am more than ready and capable to satisfy your needs." Holden murmurs in my ear. "Are you, err... on any contraception?"

I nod. "Yup, all clear for take off, baby."

That reminds me, it's my 3 month check up for my drop injection tomorrow. I can't forget that!!

With confirmation, Holden grabs my waist and throws me on the bed making me squeal in shock, which turns into a giggle.

He grins at me before climbing onto the bed, and moving to hover over me.

Roughy grabbing my ankles, Holden hoists them over his shoulders before moving down closer to me so our faces are a matter of centimetres apart, placing his hands either side of my head.

I feel him position himself at my entrance, readying himself for the onslaught of the energy consuming act.

I feel as he slowly pushes into me, stretching me to the max, filling me entirely. I gasp in shock and pleasure.

My mouth hangs open, my hands gripping the bedding again, and he finally fills me completely.

"Is that ok, baby?" He whispers breathlessly.

I nod, a wordless plea for him to continue. I can't find the words to say how I'm feeling.

"Hard or soft?" He asks.

Stop fucking talking and do me already!!

"Hard!! Hard, hard, hard!" I whimper.

Holden grins and eases out before slamming back inside me, making me cry out as he hits my g-spot perfectly.

Over and over, he slams, rams and thrusts into me at an incredible speed, bringing me higher, closer, building to another intense orgasm.

"Ohhhh Holdennnnnnnn!" I moan. "I'm Sooo!! I'm gonnnaaaa..." I don't have time to finish my slurred sentence as my climax hits me like a wrecking ball, sending me over the edge, making me convulse.

Holden grunts as my walls tighten around him, attempting to milk him.

He bites his lip hard, his eyes boring into mine as he finally reaches his peak, cumming hard and violently inside me.

Slumping down on top of me, we're both left breathless and exhausted.

With Holden still inside me, his head on my shoulder, I drift off into exhausted slumber.

I fall asleep trying to determine whether Dean or Holden was better in the sack. I come up blank, and conclude that they're both incredible in their own ways.

How could that be possible??

Why did I have such a powerful connection with Dean, who isn't my mate??

A week off work was quite relaxing! I got to rest, recuperate, sleep in and have baths and naps whenever I felt it warranted.

My depo appointment was boring. Just the usual. Bend over and get a needle in the ass.

Easy work.

Thursday evening I went to the local salon and had my waxing done. Legs, underarms and pubic area.

Being hair free makes me feel sexy, I have no idea why.

The guys had left me alone to rest and recover for the entire week. I felt lonely for the first time in ages. I have no female friends as I got hurt so much by bitching and lies when I was a teenager, so I took comfort in men and their dicks.

Once I was out of school, women saw me as a threat, thinking I'd steal their boyfriends or whatnot because of my reputation. That's not who I am. I always made sure my sexual partners were single first!!

Now, Saturday night, I am sat in front of the television with a large pepperoni pizza, popcorn, a bottle of diet coke and X Factor on.

"Get him off!" I shout out at the TV, throwing a handful of popcorn at the screen.

I admit, I get slightly violent at annoying situations and pathetic singers. X Factor is my secret passion, but I get so riled up when idiotic, tone deaf losers seem to think they can sing in tune!

"Oh seriously, do you really think you have a good voice? Get. Off. The. Stage." I groan at an idiotic, camp looking male who's singing Live While We're Young by One Direction, while popping his hip dramatically and screeching at the top of his oversized lungs. "I hope you realise you sound like a baboon on steroids?!"

I hear deep booming laughter behind me, and dart my head to the sound of the voice, only to be greeted with a harsh punch in the face.

Who the...?

I taste blood in my mouth, and I look up dazed into glittering green eyes. Who the hell is this man??

"Oh, hello sweetheart, I'm here to take you back to my master. He wants you. Time to go, baby." The guy states, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world.

My jaw drops, I shake my head furiously and my heartbeat increases a million times a minute.

"I am not going anywhere with you!" I screech, staring to get angry alongside my wolf.

The guy laughs again. "Oh, you tell the funniest jokes!" His poker face returns. "Oh, you will be coming with me bitch... or I'll make you."

My wolf growls inside my head. 'Like fuck are we! That idiot is only human. We could take him!'

I smirk, acknowledging this vital little piece of information, and stand from my space on the sofa. "Try and make me."

His face falls. "You think you can beat me? You're nothing but a weak little girl. I can, and will, make you. Just you watch." He threatens, making me laugh.

I feel my eyes darken, and the guy's face falls, his eyes widen in shock, my wolf starts to take over, wanting that idiot dead.

"Try me." I hiss.

Swallowing his fear, I watch as his stance changes, the son of a bitch stalks towards me, emulating power and dominance, but for the first time it doesn't have any effect on me.

This man is not my master, or my mate, and I have control.

I change my stance, readying myself to fight. Feeling cocky, I raise my hand, palm up, and beckon him foreword.

I had plenty of fight training in my teens as part of pack protection. "I'm ready."

Pulling his arm back, he squeezes his large hand into a fist, swinging it foreword in hope of punching me. Little does he know, I have restraint training and I grab his wrist, flip over his back and snap his arm with a loud crack, making him scream in pain and fury.

"You bitch!" He screams, clutching his damaged arm. "You're gonna pay!"

I smirk, crossing my arms in defiance. "I can handle anything you bring at me Mr GreenEyes!"

That only angers him more. "I don't think so. Even with a broken arm, I'm one of the strongest men in our team!"

I know this tactic. He's trying to distract me from the task at hand, so he can defeat me. "Oh? What team?" I ask sarcastically.

Smirking, thinking he's managed it, he continues. "We are a Dom company. We collect dominants and train them, and find them submissive souls to use and abuse. We know what you do, and one of our clients wants you, and only you."

I sigh. I've dealt with this many times before. Just because of Dean and his rank in the social and financial world, people find out what he does and who with, and try to use it against him.

I've been pursued a few times now, and as you can see, it hasn't worked!

"You really think that's gonna work on me? I have a Dom, and I won't be swapping to Doms who aren't as experienced as I'd like. My Dom knows how to treat me, and I like it! You can either give up and tell your 'client' I'm taken, or you can fight me and lose. Most likely, end up dead." I explain, my hands placed on my hips in defiance.

Mr GreenEyes smirks, and stalks again, his broken arm placed gingerly on his chest. Does he really think he has a chance? I'm a frickin' wolf!!

I'll let him make his move before I kill him. Fucking arsehole.

I decide I need to inform my mate, who is also the pack Alpha of what is happening, so quickly open my mind.

'Holden!!' I screech in my head.

I feel a jump of shock inside the walls of my brain.

'Lizzie?'

'Yes! I have an intruder. Human, but he's threatening to kidnap me. I don't want to, but I'm going to either injure or kill him.'

I don't hear anything else. Does Holden care about me? Rude!!

I don't have time to ponder as the idiot in my flat reaches me, attempting to grab my throat with his able hand. I roll my eyes, humouring him, waiting for him to give up.

I'm a shifter wolf, so normal human strength doesn't come close to mine. The pressure he's putting on my neck just feels like something slightly poking me.

I roll my eyes, bored.

Mr GreenEyes gets impatient and huffs, letting go.

I cross my arms again and sigh while shaking my head. "Well, that was exciting. Can you give up and go now?"

He grits his teeth audibly, and pulls out a pair of handcuffs from his back pocket. I roll my eyes. "If they're normal handcuffs, I'll be able to break out of them in a matter of seconds. You had better give up now and save yourself an early grave."

Just then, as the incredibly dumb human tries to handcuff me with his one capable hand, my front door crashes down to the floor with a bang.

Standing in the door way is...

Holden, Dean, and a few other men that smell like wolves.

All with murderous looks on their faces.

My hands are cuffed behind my back, and I feel bored. Get this over and done with already!!

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Dean roars in anger, stalking toward us, his eyes jet black, his features vibrating in anger.

Mr GreenEyes finally starts to look panicked. His eyes darts around the room, obviously trying to find an escape route.

I pull against the restraints of the metal handcuffs, snapping them clean off my wrists.

I am pissed!

I stalk towards Mr GreenEyes, feeling my wolf slip to the surface.

"You came into MY flat, tried to kidnap and hurt me! Punched me in the face, and threatened me! You are a disgusting, pathetic human and I'm not gonna stop whatever these men decide to do with you. You brought this on yourself!" I stand right in his face. "First, I think I deserve to relieve a little anger out on you!"

I flex my shoulders, and clench my fists, I want him to pay!

Fucking pissed doesn't even come close!

In a flash, I strike. Throwing my fist in his nose, stomach, my knee in his groin, and stamp my heel on his foot. He groans, cries and screams in pain before falling on the floor.

I stand over his cringing figure, spit in his face before sneering. "I warned you. You didn't listen. What I did to you is nothing compared to what might happen to you! I don't want to see your face ever again or I promise, you will die."

I kick him once in the ribs, making him groan, before walking out of the room to my bedroom, slamming the door shut with fury.

I curl up on my bed, the anger evaporating, and turning to the overwhelming emotion of fear and worry. Nobody had ever tried to kidnap me before for a Dom, only pursue me with letters, bribes and harassing phone calls.

Tears stream down my face, the adrenaline receding from my veins and I start to shake.

I force the thick duvet over me, covering my entire body in feather down as I try to hide from the world.

I hear grunts and groans and a stifled scream coming from my living room, my tears filling my eyes faster than before.

I can't stand hearing the noises I am right now.

I feel as though I've returned to the frightened, lonely, fragile girl I was in my teen years.

Unable to handle confrontation, fearing the slightest noise ,and staying far well away from people and intimacy.

Hearing my bedroom door click open, I flinch, tightly holding the duvet around my shaking figure.

"Go away. Please?" I whimper. "Just go away!"

"Hey, hey, hey..." It's Dean's soothing voice. "He's gone, baby. Don't worry. You're safe."

I feel him sit on my bed just beside my hands, which are clutching at the duvet.

The tears don't halt, continuously sweeping my face, hot salty rivers down my shaken, cringing face.

I feel someone sit on the other side of my bed. "Hey sweetheart. You're safe. Come out. Please?" It's Holden.

They're both here!

For me!

What do I do though?

I can't seem to pull out of my panic, or my cover.

I'm frozen solid.

My body curled in a fetal position, my hands gripping the duvet around me like a cocoon.

"Come on, Lizzie. We both want to see that you're ok, and behind that cover, you're masked. We can't see you." Dean says gently.

What do I do?

Can I unglue myself from the position I'm in?

Can I unglue my mind from the frame it's in?

When you're alone inside your head, and unable to pull yourself out of the funk, you end up going crazy!!

So far, I've been alone for a total of 2 weeks and 4 days.

I've pushed away Dean and Holden, not letting them near me. I'm not doing anything apart from going to work, acting like a zombie, just about handling my duties and jobs. When I go home, I stay in my room and huddle up in the duvet.

I'm just about managing a bunch of grapes or a satsuma a day. I've already lost 9lb!

As a wolf, I should be eating a lot more, and as I haven't been keeping up my usual diet, my wolf has gone into hibernation.

Like me, really.

I don't know why I've turned into this emotionless soul, I just can't get over how a human could get inside my flat without me--a shifter--knowing, and was able to freak me out and scare me like he did.

I've dealt with the threats and blackmails from other Doms, but this was one step too far. Making somebody come to my home for force me into changing my Dom. It's quite frightening.

What am I supposed to do?

Which way am I supposed to turn?

I feel so lost, and out of control.

I'm all alone.

"Someone, help me." I whisper, as I curl the duvet around me tighter. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore!"

Tears streak down my face, my heart in my mouth, my deserted stomach churning painfully.

"I'm so lost!" I whimper, and close my eyes, attempting to halt the tears, failing miserably.

I'm vulnerable, broken, and for the first time in 3 years, I miss my parents. I need their words of advice, their knowledge and wisdom.

Despite our distant relationship, they were always there when I needed them. I took them for granted and I regret not trying to build on our lacking family unit.

I can never go back and change things!

How can I move on without this undeniable guilt? How can I be happy again?

How can I chose between my mate and my Dom?

What do I want more?

Who do I want more?

Dean, an incredible, strong, supportive, charming and generous man who wants for me to be happy... and he loves me!

Or

Holden, my mate, the man made to be with me. The person who is supposed to accept me despite my many flaws. He is loving, caring, supportive, and oh so patient! He also understands me!

Why do I feel such a strong connection with both of them?

Somehow, I have the same incredible tingles and sparks when I'm with them both, they just call to a different part of my brain. Dean calls to my desire, my passion and my pleasure, whereas Holden calls to my heart, my wolf and my sense of longing.

How am I supposed to choose?

~*~

"Right! Get out of bed... now! You need to shower, eat and get out of this god forsaken flat!"

I jump up in my bed, startled awake by a loud, booming and commanding voice.

As my eyes adjust to the light, I see Dean stood there, his hands on his hips, looking at me with displeasure and impatience.

"Noooo! I don't wanna." I moan, shoving a pillow over my head.

"Nope!" Dean snaps, yanking the pillow and duvet off of me and the bed, throwing them to the floor.

I whimper, curling my naked body up in a ball, trying to hide away.

Dean sighs, and climbs onto the bed, wrapping his arms around me and comforting me.

"Lizzie, baby. Please? I can't keep seeing you like this. You're lifeless! You're an emotionless zombie and I can't handle it anymore!"

I look up into his pained eyes, glazed over with tears as he strokes my cheek tenderly.

I don't know how, but seeing Dean in pain upsets me. I want to help him, to take his pain away.

"Dean! Please don't feel pain for me. I don't deserve your pain or sympathy." I whisper, my voice breaking.

Just seeing him like this produces an overwhelming, uncontrollable, aching pain spear through my heart.

"I can't keep seeing you so fragile and vulnerable Lizzie! I love you and it hurts me deeply to see you so pained. I don't know why it cuts me so deep. It hurts not only me, but my wolf too!" Dean whimpers, for the first time showing his weaker side.

My wolf howls in my head, making me cringe.

'We have to help him.' She whimpers. 'We love him, Lizzie! Make him happy again! I can't see him hurting like this!'

This confuses me. How could my wolf be hurt by Dean hurting?

What does he have to do with my wolf?

I push that question to the back of my mind, and I decide to listen to my wolf. Heal him!

Now!

I uncurl my body, slipping my legs in between his. I grab his face with my hands, pulling it down so I can kiss him.

As his lips crash against mine, my insides melt in ecstasy.

I dive my tongue inside his warm, sweet mouth, massaging it against his.

Dean always tastes divine!

We battle for dominance with our tongues, fighting for control. Dean manages to win as my submissive role kicks in.

Dean slides his hands over my bare skin, causing goosebumps to raise all over my body. Powerful and pleasurable shocks slip through my veins, causing me to moan involuntarily.

"Oh baby, I want you! Do you want me?" Dean murmurs against my lips huskily, the palms of his hands skimming over my nipples.

Oh, he is a god! My god.

"Yes, Dean. Yes!" I gasp, grabbing his shirt in my grip, holding him close. "Take me! Pleasure me. Please?! I can't take this feeling anymore!"

My core is heating painfully, every nerve ending a live wire. My wolf is whimpering with need.

It hurts! It actually hurts!

"Holy shit, you're in heat baby! That's what that scent is!"

"I... err... I don't know if I can make that pain go away! Only your mate can ease the pain." Dean breathes. I see shock, need and passion in his eyes as he tries to restrain himself.

Swallowing hard, I let his words sink in. I'm in heat?

I've only had one heat before, and it was a fortnight after I first shifted at 15. It was excruciating and I had to stay in my room for 2 long painful weeks, before it finally passed.