After the initial shock of finding my mate--the one meant solely for me and the one person in the world I am supposed to love and cherish--me and my scattered thoughts scram from the board room and into the ladies toilets.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

I guess I didn't ever want a mate.

My past relationships were enough to put me off love for life.

That's why liked my current arrangement with Mr Law. No feelings. No control on my part.

I was there to serve him. Please him. Pleasure him.

I didn't want to love him and he didn't want to love me.

Easy!

No complications.

Now I have a mate?

God damn it!

That through a shit covered spanner in the works!

"Damn, shit, damn, fuck, bollocks! Jesus Christ! Please, give me patience!!!" I half whine, half scream--throwing my head into the mirror before me--shattering the glass and knocking myself out.

The last thing I remembered is warmth on my forehead as blood drips from a cut on my face.

~*~

Awakening, I realise I'm in hospital. Oh great!

Outside I can hear a commotion. What the hell is going on?

I carefully try to ease myself up from the bed, only to become overwhelmed with dizziness. I collapse, falling on the cold hard floor.

I groan loudly and heave without warning, throwing up all over the what once was clean flooring.

I hear a squeak of a door opening and footsteps moving towards me, but I can't stop vomiting. Vile!

"Come on sweetheart. Lets get you into bed." It's my master's soft voice.

After passing me a sick bowl, he picks me up to put me on the bed. Mr Law sighs and looks at me with concern and hurt in his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I whisper.

"Why didn't you tell me you found your mate?"

Oh... Crap. "I didn't know until like half hour before I blacked out... I think. I don't want him! I like our arrangement. You know me. I can't do a relationship! What am I going to do Dean? Oh this is so messed up! I can't be who, whatever his name is, expects of his mate. I'm not the woman for him. I just want to be the care free, lively, happy-go-lucky, single girl who has a fun sex life! Can I still have that?" I whispered my rant.

Master sighs. "Ok... Well this is such a hard situation. We both knew you'd find your mate eventually. I know you never wanted one and liked the single life, but he's there now. And it's obvious he cares. Even in such a short time frame!

I don't want to lose you but I'm not going to hold you back from your mate. The decision is yours."

I take in Mr Law's words, trying to figure out my next step.

"But... But... What about everything? How can I figure out what I want if I'm monogamous? I have to figure things out. I also have to be honest with myself, thus letting me spend time with Mr Riley or whatever his name is." I ramble, trying to say what I need to without starting an argument with my master.

Mr Law pinches the bridge of his nose, closes his eyes tightly and breathes heavily. "I will let you see this out. I still want you. I think I want more of you! I want you as my sub in the playroom but God! I think I love you!"

Mother of all that is holy!

Did he just... no! He couldn't have!

"You... you what?!" I gasp in shock.

Master grabs my hands tightly in his strong grip. "I think I've always loved you Lizzie! That's why I pushed you to extend our contract to 18 months. I couldn't let you go baby!"

"Being so close to you all weekend... It's not enough anymore! I want you. I want you as my mate! Let me mark you! I want to make you mine."

I am speechless. I can't believe I have two men wanting to mate with me!

Two incredibly hot men, both wanting more from me!

Two men wanting more from a woman that is unable to commit!

I am too freaked out by long-term relationships to allow it to happen!

My longest 'relationship' has been with my master, and that wasn't love!

That was sex. Hard, rough, BDSM fucking!

Holy fuck, it was amazing!

"How can I be with you in a committed relationship if I can't even say your first name? I'm too scared of you punishing me to even look at you most of the time!" I ask, still looking at the bed rather than his face.

"Lizzie... Look at me baby. I love looking into your eyes. Your beautiful, beautiful eyes!" Master murmurs.

Swallowing past a growing lump lodged in my throat, I raise my head slowly. I look into my masters beautiful brown eyes. My heart thumps unevenly.

I realise right then and there, even if he is not my true mate, I do love him.

I think I've always loved him.

"Say my name Lizzie." He whispers, his warm breath blowing across my face, sending my senses wild.

Using all my courage, I bore my eyes into his and say his name. "Dean." I whisper, nerves filling me at the prospect of being punished.

I cringe away as Dean moves. I love our arrangement, but the punishment is always a turn off. His punishment spanking is so painful. It makes me cry.

"Don't worry baby. It turns me on so much hearing you say my name. It makes me feel so happy hearing your words. Seeing your eyes staring into mine, feeling you close. I want more than just your submission."

"I want your love. Please give me a chance to show you? If you're giving your mate a chance, why not give me a chance too?" Dean begs, taking my face in his hands, bringing me nose to nose. "Rip up the contract, be mine! Please? I don't know how I'd cope without you in my life. I don't want another sub. I want you. Be mine, please?"

My heart is beating double time, my cheeks flushed, my temperature spiking and my hands shaking.

"Oh Dean!" I whisper, throwing myself onto his lap.

His arms wrap around me, holding me to his chest as my lips find his.

I finally get to kiss him!!

He's holding me. He's never once held me.

I give up my submissive stance and wind my fingers into his hair, holding him close as I straddle him on the bed.

My tongue pushes its way into Dean's succulent mouth, entwining my tongue with his passionately.

I am rewarded with a sexy growl, his sound vibrating through my body.

As our lips part, Dean moves his lips to my cheek, jaw, neck... Shoulder. "Take control Lizzie. I'm yours. Show me what you want!" He whispers.

I feel my self control evaporate, my hands sliding under his tight black t-shirt, running my fingers over his well defined stomach and up to his smooth sexy chest.

My lips part, my breathing coming out erratically as I feel pleasure spike through my body, arousal filling the room.

Dean growls, licking across my shoulder and up to my lips, before taking my mouth in his, kissing me roughly.

I grab his shoulders lowering him down on to the bed. "If you want me to take control, I will!" I say, biting my lip seductively.

"Oh please, baby!" Dean breathes.

I am just pulling up Dean's t-shirt, when the door to the room opens sharply, a growl and an incredible scent fills the room.

Everything goes crazy!

Oh God! Just remembering last night makes me cringe.

Watching as Dean and Mr Riley had a full on punch up right there in the local pack hospital.

It took four guys on each side to restrain them both.

They both want me and I'm so confused. Neither of them would let me talk!

I can't even find out my mate's name because I haven't actually been alone with him yet.

My head is all foggy, so many questions and ideas filling my head.

I'm now laid up in bed. A weeks' sick leave to recover from my idiotic self inflicted accident and come to terms with all this new information.

My head hurts, throbbing and healing from that bloody mirror. I feel drowsy from the strong pain killers.

I want a bath but refuse to have one while I'm this drowsed. I will not put myself at risk.

Just rolling over on my side, I'm slowly drifting off to sleep. The doorbell sounds loudly, making me cringe.

I whimper, and sigh. "Who is it?" I ask softly as I head out of my room and down the hallway.

"It's Dean! Let me in, baby."

I smile and unlock the door, looking up into my master's eyes. "Hi! What's up?" I ask. "Did I do something?"

Dean looks confused. "No of course not! I wanted to see how you were... maybe finish where we left off?"

I smirk. "That can be arranged but I want a bath first. I've had my pain killers so don't feel safe bathing."

At that, Dean grabs my legs, throwing me up into a bridal hold, making me squeal before heading into my bathroom.

After sitting me on my stool in the bathroom, Dean rolls up the sleeves of his shirt and begins to run the bath.

I just sit and watch him. This incredibly gorgeous man makes me feel special and incredibly turned on 90% of the time I'm with him. The only sucky thing is, it feels like I'm cheating when I'm with him. I guess it's because I haven't accepted or rejected my mate. I just know he's there.

Within 5 minutes, the bath is full. Bubbles overflowing and a sensual smell of the bath oil aroma. Jasmine and vanilla musk filling the room.

Dean helps me to strip out of my clothes. He does the same, joining me in the bath.

The water is enticingly hot. It's relaxing and soothing to my strained and stressed body.

"Mmmm." Dean sighs, pulling me against him. His front to my back, his legs over mine, pushing them to either side of the bath. "Let me wash you baby."

I watch as Dean picks up my flannel, squeezes some body wash on it before rubbing it over my arms. He works up to my underarms and down over my neck and breasts, teasing me through the cloth.

I moan lightly, closing my eyes as Dean moves the cloth down over my stomach.

When he reaches my clit, I whimper in need. His fingers teasing me using the flannel.

"Oh Dean." I sigh, leaning my head back against his shoulder.

How does this man know how to touch me so well? Where did he get such knowledge?

I don't have time to think, as Dean throws the flannel into the water with a plop. He worked on me with his quick fingers.

"Oh baby, you're so ready for me!" Dean breathes. His musky scent overwhelming me.

Spreading my lips with one hand, he flicks the fingers of his other hand against my clit expertly.

"Don't stop!" I moan, feeling an orgasm build in the pit of my stomach.

My jaw drops, going slack as the pleasure consumes me, building from that one point in my stomach, spreading over the entirety of my sensitive body.

As my body tenses, I know the explosion is imminent. Oh lord, am I ready?

Dean has magic hands.

Only made to pleasure me!

I gasp out loud, my limbs quivering as I cum, moaning out Dean's name.

I slump back into Dean, breathing heavily.

"I love making and watching you cum Lizzie. Coming apart from under my hands. It's the biggest turn on ever."

I smile slightly at his seductive words, then bolt upright when I feel his hard manhood digging into the small of my back.

I turn slightly to see his face. "Happy to see me?" I breathe.

He grins and chuckles. "Always."

Dean carefully stands with me in his arms and he carries me out of the bathroom and straight into my room. He then lays me down on my bed.

"Up for more?" Dean asks gently.

I grin and grab his arms, pulling him on top of me, pulling his ear to my lips. "Always." I breathe, as seductively as I can manage.

Grabbing my hips, Dean pulls me up onto my upper back and shoulders as he kneels up over me.

Positioning himself, he rams inside me, deep and hard.

I gasp out loud. "Ffffuuuucccckkk!"

~*~

I am laid on my sofa with the TV on. Dean has just left, letting me rest.

Some mindless program is on, but I'm not concentrating. I'm zoning out, thinking about my current predicament.

Dean, my Dom, my current best friend. He is my confidant, my lover and the only person on this planet I actually trust.

Or

Mr Riley, my soul mate. A man I have only met once. I hardly know him or anything about him. Not even his first name.

Talk about conflict? As I lay there that night in bed, I couldn't help but think about Mr Riley, my mate.

I was so confused.

How could I even choose between him and Dean without knowing him or who he is.

Just at that moment, my bedroom window squeaked open, causing me to scream in panic.

What the hell?

I see a clothed leg slip in, then another. Then a flexible body, a toned chest. Arms, shoulders, neck and a head.

I am greeted by my mate.

My wolf howls excitedly, bounding around in my head.

I jump off the bed, unsure of what I should be doing.

I was drawn to Mr Riley like a strong magnetic pull, but I felt as though I'd be betraying Dean.

Why the hell am I so conflicted?

"Oh, hello Mr Riley." I whisper, unsure of what else to say.

I am greeted with a mouth watering, sexy grin. "Lizzie. How are you?"

I swallow. "I'm ok. You?" I ask shyly.

I watch as Mr Riley stalks towards me, my stomach doing somersaults at the prospect of him being close to me.

His hand slowly slips onto my waist and he pulls me close to him. Our bodies touching intimately, especially with the fact that I am wearing nothing but a large t-shirt just about covering my modesty.

Mr Riley skims his nose over my neck, breathing in deeply, making me whimper. "By the way dear mate, my name is Holden. Please stop calling me Mr Riley, it makes me feel old."

I swallow hard and nod at him.

"Holden." I whisper, my body having a mind of its own, slowly placing my shaky hands on his muscled biceps.

Yum!

"Now that is sexy. Say it again!" He moans.

Answering his request. "Holden." I whisper again.

"Kiss me Lizzie. Now." He murmurs, his warm sweet breath enveloping me.

I give in to my wolf, who is begging me to accept the offer, to give Holden--our mate--what he wants.

I stroke my hands up his arms, his shoulders and up his neck. Being rewarded with a slight shiver from Holden, I tangle my hands in his hair, gripping tightly and pulling his face down to my level, crushing my lips against his.

Sparks devour my body, empowering tingles taking over, making me moan.

Our lips connect. My soft submissive lips shaping around the strong controlling lips of my mate.

Holden slips his hands further around my body, splaying them out across my bare ass, groping hard.

"I want you." He whispers into my mouth. "Do you want me?"

I nod. "Yes I do, but please don't mark me." Holden's eyes shoot with pain. "Not yet. I want to wait. I'm not ready for that just yet."

Holden pulls back and looks at me. "You don't want me? Are you rejecting me?"

I sigh and pull out of his grip. "Come sit, Holden. I need to explain some stuff to you."

I walk over to the bed, and pull the cover over me, sitting cross legged.

Holden reluctantly follows, and sits at the end of the bed, watching me with confusion.

"I... err..." I stutter. Holden's eyes light up in realisation. "You have a boyfriend? That guy! That hot shot dude?"

I sigh and bow my head. "It's more complicated than that. Can you listen while I talk? Don't say anything yet. Just let me get this out."

Holden nods and takes my hands in his. "I will stay quiet and listen." He promises.

Taking a deep breath, I start.

"Holden, I guess I should start at the beginning. I never had a great relationship with my parents. We weren't close, and when they died in a road accident a few years ago, I wasn't exactly upset about it."

"I spent my teen years pushing myself on guys for a little bit of attention. I hoped somebody would love me as much as the way my parents didn't. I ended up getting heartbroken again and again. This was after letting myself fall for guys too quickly, and too hard."

"So when I met Dean, he introduced me to a whole new world. An easy world of no emotions, no love, no pain other than physical. It was wonderful."

"What I'm trying to say is... Dean... Mr Law. He is my master. My Dom. I am a submissive."

"I gladly take pain and pretty much all kinds of abuse to please him. I be what he wants me to be."

"It's easy, and I never got emotionally attached."

"Dean taught me how to have sex without emotion."

"Only, recently... well... since I met you, Dean has confessed he loves me and wants more than a dom/ sub relationship with me. He is scared of losing me."

"What I have decided to do--and I'm sorry for putting you in this situation--is see how things go with both of you. I am not going to lie or intentionally cheat on either of you. I just can't let either of you go right now."

"Dean is my best friend, my support, my confidant and my lover. You're my mate. The one person destined for me, and I can't bring myself to reject either of you."

"I don't love either of you right now. I hardly know you, and I only know Dean as my Dom, my master."

"Now all of this new information has been shoved in my head, I'm going insane!"

"I am not intentionally trying to hurt you Holden. I do want you. I promise I do, but Dean... God, there's so much history with him and I think I have feelings for him."

"He is NOT trying to take me away from you, he wants me to be happy and if I am happiest with my mate, he will step back and let me be happy. Please, please, please can you give me some time? Time to wrap my head around this. Time to get to know you and Dean. Time to find out what I want and how I feel." I come to the end of my speech and sigh out a deep much needed breath.

Holden just looks at me, his jaw dropped, his eyes wide and full of pain.

It would be a comical moment if it wasn't such an important situation.

"Holden? Please, say something." I whisper, squeezing his hands.

"Oh Lizzie!! I can't believe you've... you went through so much and I wasn't there for you. If I had found you sooner, you wouldn't have resorted to BDSM or that man!"

"I love you unconditionally, and will be patient and wait for you."

"I will help you get to know me the best I can. It hurts that you can't accept me fully straight away, but I can understand why you need time."

"We can still spend time together right? I can still be around you?" Holden rants and raves, his hands swiping through the air.

I smile, knowing both of these incredible men are able to wait and let me see this through. Thank God!!

"Yes Holden! Of course. I will have to split my time between you, Dean and work though, but I will do it as fairly as I can, I promise!"

Holden bounds across the bed and wraps his arms around me, kissing my face, my hair and my nose.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

I giggle at his persistent kisses, surrounding me with love and care.

"That is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard." Holden murmurs, holding my face carefully in his big hands. "I promise I will hear it again!"

I smile at his promises, his vows and his need for me.

I feel cherished.

"Lizzie? Baby, can I kiss you? Please?" Holden begs gently.

My heart heats and swells, and I nod, finally getting my first kiss with my mate.

As he leans in, I start quivering in anticipation. Come on Holden!

As his lips touch mine, I lose all sense of time, purpose and control.

It's like all my senses come alive. A bolt of electricity hums through my body, sending sparks and tingles down to the pit of my stomach and to my private place!

Oh wow!

Holden licks my bottom lip gently, as though begging for entrance,which I happily give, parting my lip. I am taken aback when he plunges his tongue into my mouth, curling it around my own, as though tasting it.

I hear a low groan rise from his throat, which pushes me further.

I push myself onto his warm muscular frame, straddling him roughly.

Oh hell! I've already slept with one guy and I'm on the verge of sleeping with another all in the same night!

'Whore!' My wolf laughs at me, voicing what I'm already thinking.

I chose to ignore her and let my body lead me.

Grabbing at Holden's grey wife beater, I pull it off over his head, much to his surprise.

I marvel at his well defined torso, his tanned pecks covered in a light sprinkling of hair. His stomach is shaped in a well defined eight pack, toned to the point where it's sexy, but not over the top.

A body made by the gods!

I run my hand through the hair placed there on his chest, my mouth watering at the sight.

"See something you like?" Holden asks with a cocky tone.

I blush at him noticing my perving, and nod with honesty.

"Don't be ashamed. I'm your mate, you can perve. I want to do the same, so lets get that top off you! It's my turn!" He states.

I raise my arms just as I do in Dean's playroom, and Holden slips off my oversized t-shirt.

I watch as his eyes widen, taking in my form.

"What is... did he... Lizzie?" He whispers, appalled.

I look down at my naked body to see bite marks and cane marks over my body from the weekend's activities.

I cover myself up with my hands, feeling ashamed of the marks. Not because I didn't like it, but because my mate didn't deserve to see me like this. Dean loved seeing the marks he made on my body, and in turn I loved making him happy.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. "You shouldn't have seen those."

Holden clears his throat and sighs, shaking his head. "Was this punishment or pleasure?"