ELIANA.
The ice-cold fluid splurged across my belly, numbing around the areas that the ultrasound touched. I could hear the whooshing noise echo in the quiet room. My eyes never left Dr. Giselle's face.
I knew I'd be able to tell, even before she parted her lips whether or not I was pregnant. No amount of words could describe how tense the atmosphere was. I clenched my heart with my teeth—it was as though my whole existence led up to this moment.
The final truth was whether or not I was pregnant for Denver.
I guess this is what happens when you unfortunately fall for someone you know you should never have. Denver couldn't have been any more different from me, I was an omega slave, and he was an Alpha King.
I was also a Blood Hound while he belonged to the Black Moon pack, arch-rivals since the beginning of time. We were doomed from the start.
It never seemed to be a thought for him that we could ever be anything more. Whenever I looked into his eyes, it was quite clear that he'd only ever see me as his contract wife, not capable of love. But I had a feeling everything was going to change when he found out that I was pregnant.
Immediately I saw it in the doctor's eyes, and a heavy exhale left my lips. I turned to face the machine but even though I was unable to make out a single part of the foetus, I could very much hear it's heartbeat.
"Congratulations!" Dr Giselle exclaimed and my hands clutched my lips.
"Oh" It was a surreal moment, one that the last two years had led up to. "I'm pregnant" There was a crack in my voice as I whispered. "Yes, you are" She ran her hands through my hair, roping me in for a hug, and on her shoulders, I cried.
I didn't know how much I wanted this until it happened.
"I can't wait to tell Denver! He'd lose his mind" I sharply withdrew, eyes bright with an idea. I knew how much he wanted this child and was I delusional to think that it could finally change everything. That I could capture the cold and ruthless Alpha's heart—my husband.
"I have to go" I climbed down the bed, immediately scrapping for my bags. I couldn't wait another second to see him. "I need to talk to you" I sent a text, grinning like an idiot. I felt a million things all at the same time but most of all, I was truly happy. Little did I know that was the last time in a really long time that I'd feel such way.
I arrived at the Pack Villa and sighting Denver's car parked in the driveway, I sucked in a deep breath before mounting the front porch.
The air was warm and that smile didn't leave my lips until I was faced with him. Denver was seated in the dark, like he had already been waiting for me. "Oh..." I exclaimed. "I didn't know you'd be here so fast."
"Well I have something to tell you but only after I make you your favorite meal—" I was on the cusp of hanging my coat when Denver arose. "Eliana" There was something quite harrowing about the way he called my name that caused my heart to drop into my stomach.
I turned back to him and there was barely any emotion in his eyes.
"Have you already had something to eat?" I asked softly. "No—uh yes" He pushed a hard lump down his throat. "I got your text and I have something to tell you too" Denver added. My brows immediately arched.
Did he already know before I was able to tell him?
No, it couldn't be that. There was something off about him that I couldn't quite decipher. Damned be the one that ever assumed to know who the Alpha truly was but at least for the past two years, I'd been married to him. I'd unconsciously picked up each of his mood changes and what they meant and I knew well enough that this wasn't about something good.
"Oh" This time, my voice was low and almost inaudible. "What is that?"
"It's about us." Denver broke the news. "I'm afraid I can't keep this up for much longer, this isn't working Eliana." He croaked and it felt like a knife had stabbed into my chest. I almost fell backward but I had to hold myself still. Time and everything else was frozen.
"But..." There was a loud noise that rang through my ears so much that I could barely hear myself. "It's been two years and the contract is nearly over, still you've been unable to provide with a child..." "But," I echoed.
No words came out.
Just the endless tears from my eyes as I watched him dump a stack of papers to the table. I inched closer to make sure that this was real, that it was truly happening. Just when I was about to tell him the good news, Denver had already penned down his signature to end this marriage.
I looked up at him in disbelief but his eyes were empty and void. I couldn't believe I fell victim to Malik Denver. How foolish of me to think that I could actually change him. How foolish of me to fall for him at all.
"It's over." He pressed his lips into each other. There was a stabbing pain in my chest and a crack in my voice. "I...I don't understand" I stuttered. "What's there not to understand?! I want a fucking divorce!"
"Two years that was it. That was the entire plan, I gave two years of my life to you and you have given me nothing Eliana. You know this isn't working, the truth is you've known for a long time now. There's no point in waiting anymore. This has to end now." Denver raised his voice.
"But I love you" It escaped my lips. I didn't know how neither did I know why but I blurted it out. And I guess some part of me was expecting some grand confession next, rather all that slapped me in the face was a hoarse scoff. "You can't love me." The Alpha shrugged.
"This was merely an arrangement, I've made that pretty clear from the start—" "But I do" I interrupted him and sharply, he drew back with his knuckles against his teeth. "Well I don't love you!" Denver yelled. "I don't love you, Eliana. I never have, this was never what I wanted" He said and his words kept ringing in my head.
I don't love you, I never have.
"But you're my...mate?" I whimpered, desperately wanting to hold onto him as I cried. "Then I reject you" He coldly refuted.
"I, Alpha Malik Denver hereby reject you, Eliana Jacobs, as my mate, bringing an end to this union." His voice felt like a sword that went through my chest, slicing my heart into a million tiny pieces. He looked at me with a commanding glare and I knew I didn't have much of an option.
"I, Eliana Jacobs, accept your rejection." I whispered.
There was no mending of a heart that had been broken so much like mine. There was the man who saved me two years ago but the Denver standing in front of me was different. Or perhaps, these were his truest colors. And for the first time, my eyes weren't clouded by delusions.
I broke down into tears but all he cared about was signing the papers. He tapped against the sheet and a tear of mine soaked through it. "You have until tomorrow to sign it. And come up with the next plan as to where you would stay from now. I'd grant you a leave if that's what you want"
"But besides that, I have nothing else to give you Eliana" Denver brushed into his shoulders as he walked out of the door. It closed behind him but for the most of it, his words were still in the air. So was his cologne and his presence. I heard his voice echo through the door and almost suddenly another, it was an effeminate voice chuckling alongside his.
My curiosity was what shattered me as I leaped closer to the door. I opened it slightly to peek and Denver was in the arms of another woman so quickly. She had long blonde hair and skin blemishlessly white as milk. Her clothes barely covered the right parts of her body but his hands did.
She was really beautiful and had everything I didn't.
"Come on, let's go upstairs" Her voice was all giggly as she wrapped her arms around him. Denver crashed his lips into hers, leading her to the stairs but before he left, he darted one last glare back to me. Like he knew I was watching, he knew I was shattered, but he just didn't care.
This was the moment that sparked for me—and to think I was already envisioning a future where we could be a happy family, him and I and the child in my womb who he didn't still know about. Whom he never would. Denver was a horrible person and I'd only just realized that today.
I didn't want that sort of a father for my kid, and neither did I want him to stay with me only because I was pregnant. It was clear he never felt anything for me over the past two years so it was almost a genuine fear that he might try to take the baby away from me.
He didn't deserve the child, he didn't deserve me.
I lunged myself to the table, across which were the divorce papers, and with quivering hands, I took up the pen, signing alongside his. I fought to hold back the tears in my eyes but I failed miserably. I couldn't believe this was the end. I wanted nothing more than to leave.
There was no place for me here, there hadn't been over the past two years. Even as I scavenged through my wardrobe, I realized none of the things actually belonged to me. I could set this whole place ablaze in anger but rather, I chose to walk away, leaving him his ring on the table.
I was utterly defeated and dispirited as I walked out those doors, all I knew was I never wanted to see Denver again. I wanted a fresh start, in a place outside of Oakland or Tombsdale—a place very far away from here.
I'd walked in with the brightest of smiles but here I was, leaving with a river of tears. The winds blew through my hair as I took a brave step forward. The intention was to leave everything behind, a fresh start.
A new life, just me—my hands fell to clasp my barely showing stomach—and my child.
That was the day I truly left my terrible past behind, heading towards an even more uncertain future but if there was one thing that I knew, it was that no one could ever find out about the Alpha's secret baby. No one.
DENVER.
The cold air blew past the curtains, filling the room with an eerie atmosphere. I turned around before opening my eyes, she wasn't there. It was a fortnight and usually the morning after, Eliana stayed in my bed.
She would've somehow managed to squeeze herself into my arms, cuddling tight like a monster was going to get a hold of her. And when I would open my eyes, they would be on her forehead. Her hair would get into my mouth and her vanilla fragrance would fill the room.
"I'm sorry!" Her voice was usually so soft and delicate, especially in the mornings, she would say that before pulling away as if she wouldn't end up in my arms the next time we spent the night together. I would scoff but a smirk would cripple my lips when I turned away.
However, this was the first morning after a fortnight that Eliana wasn't in my bed. It was Claire who was, a hooker slumped by the edge about a distance from me. I cringed the moment I opened my eyes.
The room felt so empty, my arms were. Eliana was nowhere to be found.
Then as I got up, rubbing my eyes, I remembered last night. Giving her the divorce papers had been long time coming—today made it a full two years since our engagement and Eliana was still without a child.
Everyone was talking, my father himself was growing impatient and most of all, I couldn't risk her falling more and more in love with me. It was evident that she already had. I didn't believe in love, I didn't think I would ever fall for just one person so I had to let her go.
My eyes darted back to Claire and a heavy sigh escaped my lips. I got out of bed, Eliana's cologne still lingered in the air, settling in the depths of my stomach. The room, the hallway, everything felt so empty without her. Even in the kitchen, by now she would have already made breakfast.
Presenting them with a gleeful smile, she wasn't the best cook but she told me she learned while she was a slave in her pack. She was the one who usually cooked for everyone, and cleared and washed the dishes.
Sometimes I didn't think it was fair how they treated her, Eliana wasn't my enemy, her pack was. It was the reason I saved her that day, that and marrying an insider into Blood Hound. She was broken and wounded, slumped to the ground. Only later did she tell me about her stepbrother.
And the vile things Jaxon had done to her.
It might have been two years since then but I knew it still haunted her. Some nights, she still even nightmares.
He was the biggest asshole and I should have treated him as a lesson, only that she begged. She just wanted to leave everything behind her. I remembered everything Eliana told me since the night I rescued her.
It just unconsciously remained in the back of my mind. But most of all, what stuck and kept echoing in my ears up until this morning was what she said last night. "You're my mate!" She claimed.
It couldn't be.
It clearly wasn't true. I'd searched for many years before for my mate, even before my wolf grew feral without a connection but I didn't see her. Everyone said I didn't have a mate because you ought to meet her before turning twenty-five. It wasn't odd to have been skipped by the Moon Goddess, I'd only just accepted my fate that I was meant to be alone.
So how could Eliana Jacobs say that I, Malik Denver was her mate?
I didn't feel any sort of way with her, nothing special, not with anyone in my entire life. It was only an arrangement with Eliana you see. Often times I thought that I wasn't born to love but to rule.
Those things could never mix and when it did, it was a recipe for disaster.
My father learned the hard way when he held my mother's lifeless body in his hands the night after the Cold War. It was the last time all the werewolves in the world were in one place. We all lost someone that day and he lost the love of his life. I lost my mother.
Seeing how shattered he was, even after, I was convinced love was a terrible thing because you aren't guaranteed eternity, are you? It was selfish enough that the Moon Goddess would give you someone and then take that person from you. Most days, I remember my mother.
She was cheerful with a smile that could light up a room, she was caring and devoted to my father especially. She could step in front of a bullet to save the ones she loved. She was all that a Luna was meant to be—the first and only woman I'd ever loved.
But then she died a horrible death and it was messed up. I was messed up for so long. And when something like that happens, it's hard to believe love exists. After the war, the whole werewolf kingdom decided to separate, not only into packs and clans but far apart from each other.
Black Moon stayed in Tombsdale and Blood Hound was in its outskirts. We were not so far away from each other so there was always a sense of rivalry between the two packs especially when it came down to land and societal hierarchy. But it's been many years we've been here now.
Nothing so contingent to cause a battle and it better stay that way.
I didn't feel anything for Eliana Jacobs, not only was she in a rival pack, but she was also an omega, the lowest level of a werewolf. An Alpha like myself could never be mated to an Omega slave. So Eliana was wrong.
"Eliana!" I called out her name as I stormed into her room and when the doors flung wide open, I was met with the echo of my voice. It was eerily silent, her windows were taped shut and so was her wardrobe.
Her bed was as neatly laid as she hadn't spent the night there. And on the top of her dresser were the divorce papers. My heart shuddered as soon as I saw her signature penned at the bottom of the page. It was just a surprise to see that she had already signed it.
Attached to the document was another thin sheet of paper and I could recognize her handwriting even from a mile away. I realized it was a letter after I opened it and my eyes read along the lines.
'Hello Denver,
It's funny how I can't even bring myself to write your name anymore. I've already packed my things but here I am, sitting and hoping that you would walk back into the room and tell me it was all a lie. Tell me you didn't mean anything you said just now.
But I know you won't. I realize now how delusional I've been the last two years. I mean you're Malik Denver, how did I ever think you could love someone like me, an omega slave?
It was only an arrangement so I've signed the divorce papers.
You asked me last night to decide what I wanted and although it wasn't easy, I've decided to leave. I'm leaving Black Moon and I'm leaving you. I don't exactly know where I'm going but it will be somewhere far away from Oakland. Somewhere for a fresh start.
To start a new life, and I owe it to you. I owe it to you because you saved my life that night and you took me in. I hope I've been able to repay my debt over the last two years and I'm sorry I wasn't able to give you a child. I hope I never see you again. Goodbye, Denver.
With Love, Eliana'
I read through the letter and I felt a hard lump form in the back of my throat. I didn't feel anything for Eliana Jacobs—I had to remind myself—because I was immensely moved by her letter.
My fingertips trailed the edges of the white paper and I could feel a certain level of rage pump through my veins. She had left, she had run away like she did from her own pack. I stormed out of her room, meeting a few of the maids already gossiping in groups.
They dispersed at the sight of me, but I knew it was only long before they realized what had happened.
"What happened" My father suddenly appeared out of nowhere and I pushed the lump down my throat. My hands folded into a tight fist and I gazed into his eyes.
"Where is Eliana?" He asked and I shut my eyes. "Eliana is gone."
ELIANA.
SIX YEARS LATER.
My eyes settled on the untamed flames of the bonfire and even with the warmth that emitted from it, it was still a cold night in the mountains of Tuscany, where I'd stayed for the last six years.
There was a rumble in the skies above me, preceded by a bolt of lightning that struck the earth. The breeze was cold against my skin, grazing through my hair which swayed left and right.
I folded my arms with a jacket over my shoulders. Until the rain started to pour, I wouldn't go back into my tent, I resolved in my head. It had rained heavily here each night for the past week. And although it was hard to believe the Tuscany mountains were a real place, they really were.
I had to see for myself when I stumbled here one random day six years ago after journeying halfway across the earth in search of a home. There wasn't one quite as welcoming as here. But the weather said otherwise.
Of course, I had found ways to cope but still, on some days when the harsh winds would blow, I was reminded that this place wasn't my home.
Not that it wasn't Blood Hound or Black Moon, as you have seen, all my life I've always struggled to fit in. It wasn't any different now with the humans. Tuscany was filled with them. It was about 95% mountains and forest but the remaining 5% were humans.
Not a single shifter was here. It was nothing like Oakland which was a good thing because when I arrived here, that was exactly what I was looking for—a fresh start, a new beginning. For both myself and my—
"Help!"
"Help, mum!" Immediately drawing me out of my thoughts were the screams that echoed from inside the tent. I arose and burst through the zipper, grasping his little hands as he shivered. Elijah was panting with beads of sweat forming along the lines of his forehead.
He was drenched and he was quivering like he'd just seen a ghost.
"Are you okay?" I held him close to my chest, placing a soft kiss against his forehead and his breathing slowed down after some time. Then he could speak, the first thing he did was lift his gaze into my eyes.
"I had a nightmare." There was a crack in his voice and I could see in his eyes that he was so afraid. "It's okay" I held him tighter. "It's not real"
"You're here with me now. Mommy's here" I heaved. And as the winds started to howl outside the tent, I finally closed it up. I could still see the reflection of the fire as it started to die down because of the rain.
But soon after, it had completely disappeared.
Elijah had fallen asleep again in my hands and I heaved a deep breath as I looked down at him. As I said, this was supposed to be a fresh start, a new beginning for myself and my son, Elijah.
But these days. it started to feel like the exact opposite.
-
"Twenty-four!"
"Twenty-five!"
"Twenty si—" "Fuck!" I cussed as I fell on my bed, heavy breaths escaping from my lips. I turned to face Alicia who was counting my push-ups and as she handed me the bottle of water, she had disappointment in her eyes.
"That's far less than the last time." She muttered, reaching for my hands to help me up. I leaped to my feet, gushing down the water and then wiping the sweat across my face. It was the next morning after a heavy downpour and it looked nothing like it had rained last night.
The sun was shining intensely in the skies and everyone had come out of their tents for their exercise. Life in Tuscany was a routine, you get up as early as 6 AM, and training starts. Breakfast is strictly by 10 AM, not a second less or a second more and it was only for about an hour.
Training continues until noon and then we're allowed into the woods to hunt down dinner. That could last for hours and alas by 6 PM, we return back to the tent with our pairs and our game.
Sometimes it felt like nothing had changed. The trees surrounding us were just like Oakland—well the part of it that wasn't the city. And the commune I was in was very similar to how Packs operate.
The routine, dining together, training but at least I wasn't a slave to these people like I was to my own Pack.
They were strangers and humans but they also opened their arms to me and my child when I wandered here five years ago. They knew very little of where I came from nor did they know anything about my past. I acted lost and naive which wasn't really a facade because I was lost.
I'd left Denver without thinking about where I was even going and to top it all off, I wasn't just responsible for myself but for the child I was carrying. Those weeks on the roads were the toughest and I didn't even think I would make it alive as a Rogue.
I just kept walking and running and walking for weeks on end, months. Until I ended up here and it's where I've been with Elijah ever since. I didn't think I ever wanted to leave again. Here, they knew me as a human and Elijah too. It was like I could be someone different.
Away from my past and all the trauma I'd endured. I was no longer Eliana, I went by Ana here. It was what everyone including Alicia knew me as. It was tough keeping my secret sometimes and although it helped that I still hadn't come fully into my wolf form, at this I had given up, but it was especially harder when you have a growing son whose wolf aspects wasted no time in kicking in.
Elijah was six years old now, his violent nightmares started when he was five. It was accustomed to the male shifters at the infancy stage, and so was the increased awareness and heightened senses. I had to hide that from everyone else in the commune because we were humans here.
I thought we could be but with each day that passed, I realized it was impossible. But I didn't want to leave, I told myself. If I did, there was nowhere else to go.
"I'll do better tomorrow" I nodded at Alicia who scoffed lightly from her lips. At that moment, there was a bell that rang from a distance and I pulled out my phone to check the time.
"It's ten!" I reflexively announced, kicking my feet forward. "Time for breakfast" My eyes searched through the dispersing crowds for Elijah.
"Where is my son?" I asked and Alicia shrugged her shoulders. I faced the children's section where I had just seen him some seconds ago but he had disappeared now. My heart stomped in my chest as I walked back, in the opposite direction from where everyone else was facing.
"Have you seen Elijah?" I started to ask, gliding through shoulders and bodies. "Freya!" I grasped his nature teacher and she was startled at first. The rest of the kids were packing up but Elijah was still missing.
"Where is he?" I panted heavily.
"I was just looking for you." She gritted through her teeth and it was a tone that showed something was clearly wrong. She roped my hands into a tent and I expected to see Elijah but instead, it was another kid who was bleeding from his mouth.
"That...that isn't Elijah" I stuttered and Freya looked me dead in the eyes. "You don't say" She remarked. "This is Chester, one of the kids in Elijah's grade and a very close friend of his. Today, Elijah attacked Chester and he's the reason for the bleeding as you can see" Freya said and I clutched my lips immediately.
"Where is he?"
"This is the third fight he's been involved in and it's only just been a week. The rest of his mates are scared of him—" "He's a monster!" Chester interrupted and his eyes were filled with tears. Soon, mine began to water too.
"Ana," Freya called and I looked back at her. "I'm afraid if this happens again, you and Elijah might have to leave the commune. The safety and wellness of everyone is our utmost priority an—" Her voice started to fade into my ears and it was barely audible at this point.
I plunged myself outside the tent and my vision dazed as I stared ahead at the woods. I closed my ears with my hands and shut my eyes until I was relieved again and by this time, Freya was right next to me.
"Where is he?" I asked her for the last time and she threw a look into the woods. "He ran away," Without waiting to hear another word, I sprinted down the hill and ran through the forest.
"Elijah!" I yelled his name. This had only happened once in the past and the fear was just as crippling. "Elijah!" I screamed at the top of my
lungs, shaking my head off every negative thought that was telling me something bad had already happened to him.
My feet splattered through the muddy earth as I went deeper into the thick forest and it was darker with each step I took. But alas, I found him.
Beneath an enclosed shed with his back against a tree and his arms around his knees. "Elijah!" I gasped in relief, throwing myself forward to where he was. He turned to me and I immediately grasped him in for a hug. The tears in my eyes streamed down my flustered face.
"I was so worried" I wept and there was a crack in my voice. "You can't leave me like that, Elijah. I told you, and you promised the last time" I looked into his eyes and they were so afraid. I couldn't even yell at him.
"I'm sorry, mommy" He apologized. "I didn't want you to be worried."
"It's okay" I held his hands.
"They were just saying so many mean things about me in class today, Chester too and I thought he was my friend. I just got so angry and I don't know what came over me" He explained and I pushed a hard lump down my throat. Of course, I knew what came over him.
It was his wolf.
That's the thing, he wasn't a human. He didn't even know that himself, none of them knew. Maybe this was a bad idea, and as much as I wanted it to be, Tuscany wasn't my home. It wasn't Elijah's home.
He ought to be around a Pack, of wolves who could train him to control his anger and be noble. They couldn't do that here, but then again his Pack was I'm pretty sure non-existent at this point. It had been six years since I last heard from anyone in Oakland.
"I don't really belong here, mommy. No matter how hard I try, they still make fun of me. I can't ever fit in" And Elijah broke down into tears on my shoulders and as a mother, hearing my child cry the way he did at that moment, it shattered my heart.
"I'm sorry" He whispered. "I know" I replied softly with a hand smothering down his back. "This isn't your fault, Eli" I said before pulling away from him. "Well, punching Chester was," I scoffed and he chuckled softly for a moment.
"I told you before, use your words. Even when you're angry, use your words over your fist" I ran my hands through his hair and he pouted. "It won't happen again Mommy" He promised even going as far as joining his pinky finger to mine and I broke it off with a kiss.
Pulling him up, we were set back down the hill when my phone suddenly rang. And I stopped in my tracks immediately—nobody ever called. Pulling it out of my pocket, there was a furrow between my brows.
And the voice that I heard next caused my heart to sink into my chest. My hand was shaking as I placed the phone to my ears.
"Eliana." Her voice was tender and shaky. No one had called me that in years. "Grandma?" I recognized her voice almost immediately and hearing it again left a sting in my chest. "Eliana..." She called again.
This time, bearing as much familiarity.
"It's your father," She wasted no time in breaking the news and my heart leaped in the back of my throat. "He's deathly ill, Eliana. Please come back home." And those words kept ringing in my ear as I stood there.
Come Home. Home.
Not Tuscany, not Tombsdale but Oakland—My Home.