Hope

The sun dips low, casting long shadows over the training grounds as I step onto the field. The smell of my childhood home eases the sharp edges of my frayed nerves.

When we arrived at Blue Rock the first thing I did was look for Tessa.

My boots crunch against the gravel as I head to the training fields.

A flash of red captures my attention. Tessa's lithe frame is there—center ring—bear arms swinging as she brings down a familiar male.

Ben.

He hits the ground with a grunt, and she doesn't look down as she turns, scenting the air.

"Hope?" Her voice cracks like a whip. She straightens, her eyes- a vibrant sky blue like our mothers— narrowing with her words. “You’re back?”

I move faster, practically jogging to hug her. I crash into her squeezing her, thinking of all the years we went without seeing each other.

Her arms cage me to her. “Hey… hey,” she braces my shoulders, pulling my back gently to look over my face, concern etched onto her features. “Are you okay?”

Shit.

I almost forgot. To her it's only been a day and half since we've seen each other.

I nod, smiling to ease her worry. “Yeah. Everything is great.”

A groan sounds behind me as Ben lifts his large body from the ground.

“Warn me next time you try to shove my body through the floor,” he says to Tessa.

He towers over her, which is not a hard thing to do being 6’5.

Ben is one of our warriors, a gamma through and through.

She grins at him, “Where's the fun in that? Besides, if you were paying attention, you would have seen me coming.”

Ben looks at her like she was responsible for the sun rising and to him she was.

“Hey Benny,” I say.

“Hey Hope. What brought you back so early? I thought you would stay with your father through the ascension.”

I shrug. “Plans changed. Plus, I wanted to be home with you guys.”

Tessa gives me a stop bull shitting me look. “Where’s Leah? Tyler?”

“Back at Lotus pack. You know Leah won't give up her chance to be noticed.”

My wolf girls bitterly. She understands why we need to make this design but choosing to leave our mate doesn't make actually doing it easier. We will always want him on an elemental level even if logically I know we have to make a different choice.

Tessa moves closer, her body tense as she studies me. “What happened?”

I know she means, what happened with Leah and Tyler, but why did it feel like she can see through me.

“Same old shit. I was already on my way home and Leah threw one of her tantrums,” I say. “But I handled it.”

Tessa narrows her eyes. “You handled it?”

“I told Leah to stop being a bitch and then I kicked Tyler’s into her,” I admit, trying to skim over the more upsetting details.

If Tessa finds out Leah tried to take our mother’s necklace from me, it will only cause problems when they get home.

Her eyes widened. “You did what?”

I could understand her shock. While my sister was always as fiery as her hair, I've always tried to defuse situations with words.

“I kicked him. Clean hit. No blood, no bruising, just embarrassed his dumb ass.”

“Goddess.” She blinks like she’s not sure I’m real. “I don't know what's gotten into you, but I like it…”

“Figured you would. I just got tired of their crap.”

Tessa laughs, half in disbelief, half in pride. She pulls me into another hug, strong arms squeezing tight. “I thought I’d have to go hunt them down for targeting you when I’m not around.”

“I’ve got it covered. I’m done letting people treat me like a punching bag.”

She studies me. “What changed?”

Everything. But I don’t say that. Not yet.

Possibly not ever.

“I’m just tired of pretending things are okay when they’re not. And that goes for ignoring the wicked witch and her goons.”

“Well, I for one think this deserves a celebration burger,” Ben says, hooking a meaty arm around each of us.

“Oh, hell yeah,” Tessa agrees. “I’m starved.”

I wrinkle my nose at both of them and run up ahead before spinning in my heel and walking backwards. “Maybe a shower wouldn't hurt first. You both smell sun-soaked garbage.”

“Hey!” Tessa yells as before I turn and sprint towards the house.

Ben’s boisterous laughter follows me with each step, and my heart feels lighter than it has in a long time.

After their shower, we all congregate in the kitchen of the pack house.

Since Tessa is useless when it comes to cooking, I volunteer my services and Ben acts as my sous chef.

While I work on seasoning the burger meat a loud chirp sounds through the room.

“Shit,” Ben says, checking the comms unit all warriors carry. “Zan needs me in the security building. Will you guys be alright without me?”

Tessa rolls her eyes. “I'm sure we'll be fine for the ten minutes you're gone.”

Ben smiles mischievously. “Don't miss me too much while I’m gone.”

She throws a piece of lettuce at him, but I can see the smile trying to break free.

It's nice, seeing her so carefree.

By the time Ben comes back dinner is ready and we spend the rest of the evening laughing and joking around. It gets late Ben excuses himself to go on patrol, and I catch the linger glance he gives Tessa before leaving.

Once the door shuts and I'm sure Ben is out of ear shot I say, “So …roof?”

Tessa bobs her head, her wild red curls bouncing with the movement. “Roof.”

We take our places on the worn blue rooftop. It’s our spot. Has been since we were kids. Nothing but the Stars above us and a quiet place to vent to each other without judgment.

The wind ruffled my hair, and I tucked the strains back, thinking of where to start.

“I used to think Karen made Dad happy,” I say.

Tessa looks over, cautious. “And now?”

“Now, I know she’s poison.”

“She’s always been poison. You just didn’t want to see it.”

Tessa leans back on her hands.

“Your right. I guess I just hoped that even though she was rotten to us she would help him. Papa was so lonely when Mom died. It took him so many years to be himself again and all I wanted was for him to be happy. It blinded me but I see it now. We never had a chance at making us a family again. Not when all she wanted was a Luna position and status for her children.”

“They’ve been trying to shove us out of our own pack for years. maybe not physically but emotionally. She wants us to believe that we have no place here.”

“I just don't understand how Papa doesn't see it.”

Tessa’s quiet for a second. “Maybe his dreams are similar to yours. Maybe he wants so badly for our family to be whole that he isn't thinking clearly. It wouldn't be the first time that he refuses to see what's right in front of him.”

She's referring to their argument and the reason I told my father I wanted to come back to our territory.

Papa and Tessa got into an argument about her ascension, or rather the lack of one.

Tessa wanted to be Alpha. She was strong enough for it and as first born she had every right to the position, but Papa didn't want to see it happen.

He knew the life of a female Alpha would be filled with challenge and turmoil.

Females just weren't considered fit for the role of Alpha.

“You know he believes in you. He's just afraid,” I say, remembering my other life.

The one where she not only gave up her dream, but her true mate, Ben.

Her eyes flash. “Am I supposed to cut myself off at the knees because he’s scared. What about me? What about my fears? The fear of never living up to my potential, of letting myself beneath a male I know will never be as good as me keeps me up at night. Should I ignore that and just do what he asks to make him happy?”

In our other life, she married an Alpha, following our father’s wishes. It wasn't until after she found herself with him that she recognized Ben as her true mate, but it was too late. Her Alpha mate was cruel and abusive. She gave up her dreams to give father peace, and it cost her everything.

Not this time.

This wasn't just my second chance, I realize looking into Tessa’s eyes.

I hold her gaze. “No. You shouldn't.”

“What?” She asks, blinking in confusion.

“Let’s just say I’ve had a change of perspective. It won’t be easy. Father's fear is justified but you are an Alpha Tessa. You were born for it.”

She stares at me with a war raging in her eyes, like she wants to believe me, but she's scared to get her hopes up.

“I want you to be Alpha of this pack,” I say with conviction.

She shakes her head. “Dad won’t allow it.”

“Then we’ll make him.”

“You’re serious?” she says, unable to his surprise.

“Dead serious.”

Tessa sits up, her eyes burning. “You’d back me? Even if it means standing against the council. Against Father?”

“I’ll do whatever it takes.”

She exhales slowly. “They won’t listen. They still think women are meant to follow, not lead.”

“Then we show them otherwise.”

“And how exactly do we do that?”

“Simple. You prove your strength. I will prove your worth.”

“We won't have to. We will use their laws against them and call on a duel for the position. With the King and Queen overseeing the battle there will be no one who could deny the outcome.”

She laughs. “You’re crazy.”

“No. I’m ready and so are you.”

Tessa stares at me like she’s seeing a new person. “You’ve changed.”

“You have no idea.”

A beat of silence. Then she reaches over and grabs my hand.

“You really think I can do it?”

I grab her hand and squeeze. “I already consider you, my Alpha. Now let's go show them what I see.”

She nods. “Then let’s make them choke on their rules.”

Hope

I wake up gasping, the feeling of falling wraps around my skin like old skin. The tension in my chest claws and wraps around my lungs.

No. No. No.

My wolf whines, distressed by the nightmare riding our consciousness to waking hours.

I slap my hand against the cradle of my throat and take in my childhood bedroom. The books stacked in my bedside table. The soft pale pink carpet at the foot of my bed. My collection preserved flowers along my shelves.

No magic, no whispers, no blindness.

Just me, and the worry knotting inside.

I rub my temples, recalling the broken shards of last night’s dream—or was it a memory?

I push myself out of bed, and scramble for my clothes. I shove my legs into a pair of black camps and stuff my feet into my boot. Then I quickly twist my long black hair into a ponytail.

Giving myself a once over in the mirror I decide it's good enough.

I have to see Emma, our pack healer, and Ben’s mother, today. If anyone could give me a clue as to what is happening, she can.

Emma isn't just an ordinary healer; she comes from a magical line of shifters. Her access to magic not only helps her heal mortal wounds but it helps her identify magical interference happening within a body.

I sneak past Tessa’s door. Even though it's closed I know she’s awake and I don't need her questions right now.

I need to get answers before I can decide what to do with my secrets and with my new future.

The infirmary is in a two-story cabin. The top floor serves as recovery rooms while the examination and operation rooms are on the first.

I move down the chilly stone corridor lit by flickering torches. It's early. Emma will probably be in her apothecary working on healing elixirs. Each step echoes, each echo pounds in my ears. It doesn't escape me that Emma might have answers I don't want to hear.

I take a deep breath at the door, stealing myself and walking inside, the door creaking on its hinges behind me.

“Hope,” Emma says sweetly. “I wasn't expecting you.”

She looks up from her mortar and pestle, her soft hazel eyes widen just a fraction, worry and curiosity dancing there, as she takes me in.

“I came back early.”

“I see. Come sit,” she orders patting the chair beside hers.

Her silver-streaked hair is tied back neatly, hands dusted in dried herbs. Beside her, fresh bandages and tinctures line the walls.

I sit on the edge of the chair unsure of how to start the conversation.

Do I just come out and say I'm back in time or whatever?

My wolf snorts.

She brushes a loose strand of hair behind my ear capturing my attention. “You look pale,” she says.

“I feel it,” I whisper. “I— something happened.”

Emma maternal protectiveness flares. “At the Lotus Pack? Did some hurt you? I swear on the goddess I’ll—”

“No. It isn't like that. It’s…I shouldn't be here.”

She frowns. “What are you talking about?” She lifts my hand, presses her fingertips to the pulse at my wrist checking my pulse. “You're talking nonsense.”

I wince. “Last night—I dreamed—no, I remembered my future.” The furrow in her brow goes deeper. “Fuck. I’m making a mess of this.”

The room suddenly feels too warm, the air too tight around my lungs.

“Shh,” she murmurs, turning my palm upward. She cups it in both her hands. I feel warmth seeping in. “Breathe.”

I close my eyes. “I lived it, Emma. The next three years of my life. And now I'm here again.”

My voice is shaky, but the warmth of her magic keeps me grounded.

“Tell me everything,” she says calmly.

And I do.

Every beautiful, twisted, painful detail. I left nothing out, ending right when I woke up this morning.

She tips her head, studying me, vulnerable. “May I check over you?”

I do my best to keep my voice steady. “Yeah.”

Emma hovers her palm a few centimeters over me moving her arms along the contours of my body. I can feel the warmth of her magic as she moves up my arm, across my shoulder, down my chest, my stomach, my legs before coming back up to my left arm.

“Humm… This is surprising but… not,” she says thoughtfully before standing and tuning to a shelf of books behind her.

“What do you think it is?” I blurt out.

“I can't say for sure right now, but the Blue Rock Pack’s ancestors had witch blood,” she says softly. “Certain families… gifted in both healing arts and magic.” She pulls out a leather-bound book and sits back down as she flips through the pages. “There was one in particular. The one who introduced magic to the blue rock pack, Elena Knight.” She stops and turns the book towards me.

I look at the book, and my breath catches in my throat.

“She was our ancestor.” I swallow looking back in Elena's eyes. “I remember my mother telling me stories. She bridged the chasm between healer and witch. Brought those powers into the Alpha’s bloodline. It was why my mother had visions.”

Visions I lied to my father about having to come home.

Thoughts whirled in my head, pounding against my head like thunderous rain. What if I did have gifts?

The corner of Emma’s lips twitches as if she could hear my thoughts. “If you possess Elena’s power—then what you saw, what you felt you lived, could be a vision.”

“But how? I was there every day. I felt and saw everything. How could that have been a vision?”

“Have you ever heard of waking memories?”

“No.”

“It's a rare and powerful gift. One Elena specialized in. It allows the holder to be unbound by time. To live and experience one of the paths their lives or the lives of their subjects can take.” She places her hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “While it's powerful it could also be dangerous. If you don't learn to use it, you could trap yourself in a waking memory. It sounds like you were in that one for quite some time.”

I stare at the pages—ancient handwriting and faded sketches of herbs intertwined with magical symbols.

“When I woke, I felt this pull. Like something in me…shifted. It made me see things I missed the first time.”

Emma is silent as she thinks for a moment. “Like I said, I can't say for certain now. We'll have to learn more, see if we can tap into the power if it's there. But there is also another possibility. Elena…she might have brought you back.” She lets the thought trail off. “Rebirth isn't unheard of.”

My breath catches. “Why would she do that?”

“I don't have the answer, perhaps as a warning or maybe as a mercy. It could be a number of things.” she says. “But I can say this—I’ll do everything to help you. We must be careful. We might not know the reason, but we know something nefarious was waiting for you. It was why you were blinded.” She points to a row of glass bottles. “This salve, morning. That incense, before bed. It will help ground you and work to start bringing forth any abilities you may have. We'll meet three times a week.”

I hold the slave and incense to my chest. “I’m scared, Em.”

Emma’s features soften. “I know. But you’re here now. And I won't let anything happen to you.”

I nod, tears threatening. Emma takes a cloth and wraps the paraphernalia in it. Right. We better hide it if we want to keep it secret. “We’ll start slowly. No heavy magic until, we’re sure. If the witch’s blood is stirring, I’ll trace it… isolate it. Then we’ll guide it. No trial by fire.”

I swallow. “But what if it’s all true? What if I live this life over again—and I can’t save Tessa? What if I can't save myself?”

Emma’s gaze steals. “You are the daughter of Rose Brown. You are not helpless so don't let anyone make you believe otherwise.”

A knock at the door interrupts my response.

“Come in,” Emma says, giving me a chance to collect myself.

Ben steps inside. He glances between me and Emma. “Hope.”

“Ben,” I whisper.

“Well, this saved me a trip.”

“Oh yeah? Is Tessa looking for me?”

“No. Alpha Clinton’s back and I’ve been sent to get you,” he says his voice off.

“What's wrong?” I say standing.

“Your father is not alone. Alpha Keith—he’s returned with him.”

My heart lurches. I risk a glance at Emma whose face is an impractical mask.

“Oh, and what would Alpha Keith be doing here so soon after his ascension?” Emma asks her son.

Ben frowned for a fraction of a second before school showed his features. “I’m not sure. But I can't imagine there are too many reasons for him to travel here.”

His unspoken words were clear. Alpha's only travel to other packs for a handful of reasons, celebrations, alliances, war or matings.

My pulse rockets.

Ben glances at his mother and gives her a tight smile then he meets my eyes. “They’re at the clearing. We should head out.”

“Sure.” Before I step out Emma grabs my hand and whispers. “Think, Hope. You are here to see what you didn't before. Don't make any rash decisions.”

I tip my chin and give her a small smile before following Ben out of the healing cabin.

My wolf paces beneath my skin.

It looks like running isn't going to work.

It’s time to face my mate.

Keith

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Jace leans against the edge of my desk, arms folded.

My wolf growls. The bastard has become more irritable each passing day.

All he wants is to find Hope. To confirm the beguiling scent is hers.

I had much more self-control with him and even I was starting to feel irrationally moody.

Jace's judgement wasn't helping.

“Yes.” I don’t look up from the map I’m marking.

He exhales slowly. “I get that this female has got your wolf all twisted but lying to her father just to get a read on her isn't the smartest idea.”

I slam the pen down. “Well, what the hell am I supposed to do?”

“Oh, I don't know. How about trying a little thing called telling the truth.”

I meet his eyes. He knows as well as I do the problems around that. “I don't want to get her hopes up.”

He laughs at that. “Goddess Keith, it's not like the girl is going to cry herself to sleep if it turns out not to be true.”

I frown at him. “No but it can put thoughts into other females' heads. You know how fast words spread. If anyone thinks I'm looking for a mate, I'll soon find an influx of females being pushed at me. This includes other Alphas dangling alliances over my head with the condition of marrying their daughter.”

Many males wait for their fated mate to settle down. However, when it comes to Alphas and royals, chosen mates are more common. Lines of power can’t wait around for a fated mate to ensure succession.

I could announce that I was waiting for my fated mate but because of my blood, I would only have a handful of years before the Alpha King and the council started calling for an heir.

“Fuck. So, what's the plan then?” Jace says easily switching gears.

That’s one of the reasons I love him. He is always on my side.

“Blue Rock has one of the best healers within the ten great packs. I was going to ask Alpha Clinton if I could join him on his trip home to check on my power.”

“Mmm,” Jace hums thoughtfully. “I can't find any fault with it. You can scope out the female—”

“Hope,” I correct him. I don't know why but for some reason, him using her name is important.

“—scope out Hope,” He continues. “And get checked.”

I roll my eyes of course he would focus on that.

There were many who knew my family was a distant relation of the royal family but only few knew the extent of Lycan blood that ran through to my vein. Like the other royals, many assumed it was so diluted that it only provided more advanced senses, but they were wrong. Only a select few, like Jace, knew the truth.

Hundreds of years ago, the Luna of the first shifter King and his Luna gave birth to twins. Two white wolves, a prince and a princess. The prince went on to inherit the throne, while the princess was said to have died in a rogue wolf attack sometime after her brother's ascension.

In reality, she was separated from her pack during the rogue attack and while running from a group of them was rescued by a Lycan. During those ancient times, Lycans and werewolves were bitter enemies but it didn't take long for them to recognize each other as fated mates. After bonding with the Lycan, the princess vanished from history, aware that their coupling wouldn't be accepted by their world.

Hundreds of years later, my family is the direct descendants of the union between the princess and her Lycan mate.

Over the generations, the bloodline had thinned, with each generation being able to tap into less and less of our Lycan traits, until me.

When I turned sixteen, I did something no other shifter from my line has been able to do since the first generation of offspring. I turned into my Lycan form by tapping into my ancestral powers.

It was a third form no one was expecting. My wolf, a massive sliver, being already stronger and faster than its peers, was already one to be feared.

Add on my Lycan genes and I became the cause of both awe and fear.

None of that has ever mattered to Jace though. He was more concerned with making sure the power inside me wouldn't hurt me.

“Yes. I’ll get myself checked as well.”

Balancing two spirits inside a body is already a lot of work, but three? There is no precedent for this.

“Good when do we leave?” Jace says standing to his full height.

“We.”

He raised a brow daring me to contradict him. “Where you go, I go. I thought you already accepted this by now.”

“Fine,” There was no point in arguing. “I guess I'll just have to be extra charming at dinner.”

***

“Alpha Clinton, I have a request I’d like you to consider,” I say as I take a sip of the honey wine served with dinner.

Since this was the last night Lotus pack would be hosting the Alpha, we organized a family style dinner with him, his partner Karen, her two children, my father and myself.

The dinner has been going well. My father was regaling Karen and Clinton with a story of his latest hunt with the Alpha King while the daughter, Lisa—Lina—Lara…something or the other tried her best to catchy eye.

Her brother seemed oblivious to us all, to lost in his own thoughts to pay much attention to what was happening around him.

Once there was a break in the conversation I pounced on my chance.

“Just Clinton is fine. I think we're past the stage of formalities,” he smiled generally at me. “How can I be of assistance?”

“I'd like to request to join you when you return to Blue Rock. Emma Emerson is one of the most prominent healing talents in the grater packs and I wanted her assistance in a health assessment.”

“Of course,” he said quickly. “Is everything alright?”

Under normal circumstances his question would have put my wolf and my Lycan on high alert. But I can sense from his tone that he isn't trying to exploit a weakness. In Fact, his tone is paternal.

“Yes son, how are you feeling,” my father adds.

“I'm alright. My wolf has just become agitated since the ascension and I wanted to see if the Healer could give me insight.”

“Emma is the best. If anyone can help you, she can,” the daughter…Lessi? Says with bright enthusiasm.

I smile placatingly at her.

“Leah is right,” ah so that's her name, Karen agrees. “We will call ahead to clear her schedule for you.”

“That is too kind, really,” I say to the older female.

“Nonsense, Blue Rock would never allow an Alpha of your caliber to be held up. You'll be taken care of, rest assured.”

Karen smirks as if the matter is settled so I tip my chin in a way I hope is gracious.

Clinton pats Karen's hand as one would a dog when they've done a good job at something. She doesn't seem to mind from the way she preens beneath the gesture.

My eyes connect with my father’s, and he gives me a small nod. I know what he assumes. He thinks this is really about the mingling of my Lycan and my wolf.

I'm not going to correct him.

Not until I see hope and figure out for myself what she is to me.

Dad nods, slowly. “Good call. Silver wolves were said to be born for war. I'm sure the solidification of the pack bond is a lot for your wolf to get used to. She may be able to help with the transition.”

“My thoughts exactly,” I say ignoring how the daughter's eyes light up at the confirmation of me headed to her home.

“Will anyone be joining you?” Alpha Clinton asks.

“My beta, Jace,” I reply.

As expected, my father jumps at the chance to be helpful. “Good you boys go get that sorted and I’ll oversee the pack until you return.”

“Thank you. Father.”

“Oh, and Keith,” he adds, with a mischievous smile. “Who knows what else you'll find at Blue Rock. I've heard Clinton's eldest daughter Tessa is a fine female. A fierce warrior as well.”

“Father,” I growl in wanting to be aware of Alpha Clinton at the table.

I don't want to do anything to offend him. Not when I need him to get access to Hope.

He raises both hands, backing off. “What? I’m just sitting. It wouldn't hurt to start thinking about potential Luna’s. You’ll soon need an heir.”

“As lovely as I’m sure Tessa is, I think the pack deserves my full attention right now. I’ve only just assessed.”

“He’s right Gavin. Let him find his footing first. Mates can come later,” Clinton says good naturedly.

My wolf and my Lycan tossed snarls at my father for even suggesting I take another female.

I had to agree.

Even with only her scent, I knew no other female but Hope would do.